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disclaimer: not mine. all is joss whedon's...he is god.
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Buffy sat in the rather comfortable chair, her wrists tied behind her back and her ankles tied to the front legs of the chair.

"You know," she said, addressing one of the bulky men watching her. "I still can't believe you parents named you Dreg. I mean, thank God I went with William."

The man shrugged. "I'm pretty sure they were high or drunk. And what about your parents?"

"Are my parents high and/or drunk?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, what were they thinking; naming you 'Buffy'?"

"Well," she said, shifting around in her seat so that her rear didn't fall asleep. "It's not my real name. My little sister, Dawn, she couldn't say 'Bethy', which is what my parents called me." She shrugged. "Buffy."

"Yeah, well," groused the other large man. "My parents were perfectly sober, and they STILL named me Jeeves. Jeeves! It's like they wanted me to be a fucking butler."

"Hey," Buffy offered in consolation. "You've got a cool nickname though."

"Jinx?" he scoffed. "That's because I was such a screw up in high school, and it just stuck."

"Still, Jinx is cooler than Dreg. No offence," she added.

"None taken," Dreg said, waving away the apology.

- - -

THE NIGHT BEFORE

"Look," Buffy sad, looking nervously between the men that were on either side of her. "What ever my...boyfriend did to you, I'm really sorry. Why are you taking this out on me?"

"Because," the woman said, inspecting her nails. "You've got everything he wouldn't give me; a real relationship, his love, even a little brat." She looked up at Bffy again and tilted her head towards the elderly gentleman next to her. "But if he hadn't left me, I wouldn't have met Quentin, now would I have, Quenty?"

Buffy watched as the man gave her an endearing smile in response, and couldn't help but think 'This is going to be the most stupid kidnapping ever, isn't it?'. But out loud, she said: "But, if you two are . . . together, then why the seeking of revenge?"

She stopped smiling. "I want to make him sweat a little," she said, tenting her fingers together. "Make him panic. Make his heart crack slowly until it shatters and there's nothing left but a disgusting, oozing, bloody mess!" She calmed, smoothing down her hair. "I told him once that I'd kill someone if I had to. I don't think he knows I wasn't serious. I mean, come on, prison stripes are not flattering."

Buffy stared at her for a few minutes, then, "You're just full of the crazies, aren't you?"

She smiled again. "Maybe. Possibly. Oh, and by the way, the two idiots next to you are Dreg and Jinx. They'll be your body guards. You'll be staying in my penthouse and if you want anything, just ask them."

"You're awfully calm for someone who just kidnapped a person," Buffy observed.

"You're awfully calm for someone who's just been kidnapped."

---

TWENTY FOUR HOURS MISSING

"How are you this calm?!" Spike yelled into the phone. "Buffy has been kidnapped, and you're bloody snoggin' your secretary!"

There was an angry sounding retort on the other line, and Spike snarled, "Same to you."

"Spike?" Joyce asked, coming downstairs from tucking William in. "Who was that?"

"Hank," the man bit out. "I'm going to call the girl."

"What girl?"

"Red. The one that's named after a bleedin' tree?"

"Oh," Joyce said. "Willow. Listen, why don't you let me call her? She's...not too fond of you."

Spike sighed. "Yeah, I know. 's understood. I'm gonna go . . . call the band."

---

"So," Buffy said around a mouthful of a grilled cheese sandwich. "You two are going to get me out of here, quit from Glory Inc., and do . . . . what?"

They exchanged looks. "We were wondering if maybe you could get us jobs with the Dingoes," said Jinx. "As bodyguards."

"yeah," Dreg added. "And we don't want to work for Glory anymore. Plus . . . we like you. And we figure that you want to see your son and fiance again, right?"

"Well, I-" she started, then stopped. "Fiance? Oh, we're not . . . engaged. We're just dating."

"That's not what the magazine said," Dreg commented, lifting up the offending object for her to look at.

Buffy gasped as she read the title:

FAMOUS ACTOR AND SINGER, SPIKE GILES, HAS CANCELLED HIS BAND'S TOUR IN ORDER TO SEAR FOR HIS MISSING FIANCEE!

"Crap."

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[a/n]--well, there's another chappie! and i'm halfway done with the next one, so it should be posted soon.





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