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A/N After this chapter, there is only one more and an epilogue, so stick with me and please review!


Chapter 20 - Make it Work


Spike waited until he was positive that Buffy was in bed, before slipping on
a pair of sweatpants and leaving his room. He had skipped dinner with his
family, not feeling up to seeing anyone. Especially not up to seeing the
woman he loved, ignoring him through the entire meal.

Slipping quietly down the hall, Spike slowly opened her bedroom door,
careful not to make the hinges squeak as he shut it behind him. He stared
at Buffy for a long moment, feeling his heart swell as he looked at her.

The moonlight spilled throughout the room, bathing it in a soft blue light.
Her hair seemed illuminated, pooled on the pillow as she slept. Spike
noticed it wasn’t a peaceful sleep, however. Her brow was furrowed as she
tossed slightly, obviously troubled by something.

Spike moved quietly across the room, climbing under the covers with her,
before wrapping his body around her smaller one. Buffy seemed to quiet for
a moment before he felt her tense as she entered the first stages of
waking, realizing something was different.

“Shhh, it’s me, luv,” Spike whispered, leaving a soft kiss on the exposed
skin of her shoulder as one hand slipped beneath her camisole to run
soothing circles along her stomach.

Buffy once again seemed to relax before fully waking up and tension filling
her body again. Spike noticed with a slight smile that she wasn’t trying
to pull away from him as she became more aware of her surroundings.

“Spike,” she whispered. “What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t be without you, baby,” he whispered through his soft kisses.

“Spike, we can’t keep doing this.”

“Why not?” Spike asked with a hint of anger as his hold tightened.

“Because it’s over,” she whispered with tears in her eyes, grateful that her
back was to him so he wouldn’t see her cry.

“No, it’s not,” Spike said through gritted teeth before grabbing her more
firmly and rolling her to face him.

Spike could see the tears rolling down her cheeks as he covered her body
with his.

“Spike, what are you doing?” Buffy asked, a tremor of nervousness entering
her voice, causing Spike to tenderly stroke her cheek.

“Nothing, baby,” he whispered. “I just want to talk to you.”

“While you’re on top of me?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow as Spike
smiled.

“Well, at least I know you can’t run away.”

Buffy couldn’t help it- the smile slowly overtook her features as she looked
away.

“Knew I could get a grin,” he said with a soft smile as Buffy’s faded. She
looked back at him with sad eyes as he stared at her. “Did I do something,
Buffy?” he asked softly, causing her eyes to widen.

“No,” she said, shaking her head as Spike soothingly ran his hand along her
arm. “No, of course not.”

“What did he say?”

“Wh-who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Buffy. Your father…what did your father say to
you last night?”

“I-it was nothing,” Buffy replied in a whisper.

“Nothing?” Spike asked disbelievingly. “And yet, you say you still love me,
but you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

Buffy looked away as she tried to control her tears.

“Is it true?” Spike asked. “Do you really want to break up with me?”

Buffy didn’t say anything as Spike’s eyes hardened. Rolling away from her
and standing, Buffy gasped. “Where are you going?” she asked, almost in a
panic, sitting up as she stared after him.

“You don’t want to be with me, Buffy. You don’t expect to stay where I’m
not wanted, do you?” he asked, never looking at her as he walked toward the
door.

“Because you can do better than me,” Buffy said quietly, looking at the
floor.

Spike froze, his hand on the doorknob as he steadied his breathing.

“Because you can do better than some charity case,” Buffy continued.

“Charity case? Where are you getting…I want to kill your father,” Spike spat,
turning around. Walking back to the bed, he dropped down to his knees,
taking Buffy’s hands in his as he looked into her eyes. “I would never
think that, luv,” he said softly. “I’m with you because I want to be, not
because I feel sorry for you or feel like I owe you anything, okay?”

“So you would have stayed with me even if we hadn’t slept together?” Buffy
asked doubtfully.

Spike’s eyes clouded over with anger as he stood up. “Is that the only
reason you did it?” he asked in a low tone. “You thought it was the only
reason to keep me with you?”

“Spike-“

“No,” Spike said angrily. “I would have stayed with you, Buffy. If you had
wanted to wait until marriage, I would have been fine with that. I never
wanted you to feel pressured to do something you weren’t ready for.”

“I was,” Buffy whispered. “I was ready. And I wanted to be with you so
much,” she finished with tears in her eyes.

“I love you,” Spike whispered, taking her face in his hands. “I love you,”
he repeated, looking into her eyes, needing her to understand the extent of
his feelings.

“You love me…but what is that?” Buffy asked. “I know how I feel for you,
but getting this feeling from someone I barely know...”

Spike tried to hide the flash of anger as she spoke. “I know what you’re
scared of, Buffy. Your father was supposed to love you, but he didn’t…not the
way he should, anyway, so how could I? Is that it?”

“You have your whole life ahead of you,” Buffy whispered.

“With you.”

“Spike, I’m not even eighteen. How can you know that you want to spend the
rest of your life with me?”

“I’m not going to rationalize everything I feel, Buffy. I’m not letting you
push me away just because you’re scared. I told you I would be here, and I
intend on keeping that promise.”

Buffy felt her heart swell at his confession before pulling him down for a
soft kiss. Her hands threaded through his hair, pulling him closer as her
tongue slipped into his mouth. Spike felt the situation begin to spiral out
of control as he gently put his hands on her arms, prying them away from him
as he separated their lips.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked in concern.

“We’re not doing this tonight,” Spike whispered, tucking a strand of hair
behind her ear.

“You don’t want me?” she asked softly.

“More than anything,” he replied, giving her another gentle kiss. “But I
don’t want you to think this relationship revolves around sex.”

Buffy smiled as Spike pulled her into his arms before lying back on the bed,
holding her firmly against him as he kissed along her shoulder. “Tonight, I
just want to hold you,” he whispered against her skin as he left more
kisses. “And tomorrow.” Another kiss. “And the night after that…and the
night after that.”

Buffy began giggling as his lips attacked her neck, tickling more than
pleasuring. She tried to squirm away from him as his hold tightened on her.
Slowly, they settled down as Buffy rolled over to face him, tracing the scar
in his eyebrow. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I know.”





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