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A/N: You've been waiting long enough. This chapter is for Rana, who asked for it so nicely (though it was written before she asked lol), as well as all of you who have been patient. See? You have to have faith in me! I hope you enjoy. Thank you for the reviews.



CHAPTER 20: Courageous people say it, so let's be brave



The guard replacing Giles--who had called in sick this morning--pushed Spike into the warden’s office.

She had missed him so much. It’d been a week since she’d told him she was going to see him the next day. A week of not being able to find a way to see the man she loved. Spike was finally standing in front of her and she couldn’t wait to be alone with him.

“Here ya go, Ms. Summers.” The guard hesitated, unsure. “What would you like me to do? Should I stay here?”

Buffy stood up from behind her desk. “It’s all right, Luis. You can go back to work. I’ll just contact security when I’m done with him.”

It sounded innocent enough, but to Buffy who knew exactly what she meant by being “done with him”, it couldn’t have sounded more incriminating. It required a tremendous effort for her to remain cool and collected, and to prevent her face from changing color, but she thought she did a damn good job, all things considered. As long as she didn’t look at Spike, she’d be fine.

She watched as Luis turned around and exited the office. They waited until he closed the door before looking at each other.

Buffy had decided that today was the day. After her conversation with her mother, she knew she couldn’t be a coward anymore. He had to know how she felt and what her plans were. Little did she know that Spike had made the exact same decision.

Feeling nervous, Spike tried to break the silence. He looked around the office, pretending to be interested in the changes. “Changed the décor, pet? It looks fantastic. Much better than…”

She crushed her lips to his, preventing him from finishing his sentence. She applied pressure on his chest until he was forced to take a few steps back. When the back of his knees hit the couch, he sat down and watched as she made herself comfortable on his lap. She straddled him, one knee on each side of his lean hips, her ass pressing against his already growing erection. It would be hard to have a conversation with her when her body was so close. But surprisingly, she looked like she wanted to talk too.

Buffy put her fingers to his lips to prevent him from kissing her again.

“I have something to say, Spike.”

“Actually, I needed to talk to you too.”

“Oh. Why don’t you go first then?” Buffy asked, trying her best to look casual despite the sudden increase in her heartbeat.

“No, pet. You can go first.”

“It can wait. You go!”

But as it often happens, they both got tired of the “you go, no you go” game and opened their mouth to talk at the same time.

“I’m in love with you…” “Buffy, I love you…”

Buffy and Spike froze, looking at each other in shock. They burst out laughing when relief washed over them, calming their fears.

Buffy spoke first. “Really?”

He looked down, playing nervously with a button of her shirt. “Yeah. I do. But like the big nancy that I am, I was too bloody scared to tell you. I was afraid you’d think it’s too soon.”

“I was scared too, you know. For different reasons. I’ve never told a guy that I love him while actually meaning it. It was always like, you know, when I’d be on the phone with my boyfriend, he’d say I love you, and I’d say me too because it was expected. But just coming out and really saying it because I feel it; that was scary.”

He gave her the warmest, most loving smile she had ever seen, just before kissing her forehead lightly. “Say it again.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Please.” He went to kiss her lips, but stopped, his lips so close that they were brushing against hers when she finally spoke the words.

“I love you, William.”

“I love you too, Buffy.”

In a flash, Buffy’s body was pressed against his again, her lips fused to his in a passionate kiss. Their tongues were exploring each other’s mouths as if it was the first time. Teasing, probing, caressing. They felt like they could never tire of it, refusing to break the contact to breathe, even for a second.

Her small body was moving above him and driving him wild with want. Spike let out a tortured moan and wrapped his arms around her to bring her even closer to him. The contact was too much, and yet, not enough. The harsh fabric of his prisoner’s uniform was rubbing against Spike’s over sensitive cock in a way that was sure to make him come fast.

They broke apart, panting and trying to catch their breath.

Spike rested his forehead on Buffy’s, his hands going to her hips to still her movements. “I’m sorry pet, but if you keep doing this, I’ll walk out of here with a wet spot on my uniform that will be hard to explain.”

She grinned mischievously. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to make sure not to spill anything on your pants.”

Spike’s eyes widened when she removed herself from where she was perched on his lap, and went to kneel between his legs.

Her hands wandered up and down his thighs, massaging the hard muscles. She lowered her head to nuzzle the hard bulge in his pants, and placed little kisses on it.

Spike inhaled sharply, realizing what she had in mind. “Buffy, pet, what are you…”

“Always wanted to know what you taste like.” She murmured against the fabric of his pants.

Her hands slid from where they were resting on his hips, to the front of his pants, nimble fingers working on the zipper until she succeeded at freeing his hard member. The sight of him made her mouth water in anticipation.

She looked into his eyes and licked the tip of his cock, enjoying the look of pure bliss on his handsome face. She took him in her hand and pumped him a few times, keeping the pressure light, and the strokes slow. She licked and suckled at the underside, then twirled her warm tongue around the head before taking him in inch by inch. Spike sighed and moaned in pleasure, his hips instinctively lifting up to get more of her.

She let him slip out of her mouth with a wet sound and gave him a saucy smirk. “Like that?”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Like? Are you bloody kidding? I love it, I love YOU. Don’t stop.”

She wrapped her lips back around his engorged penis and started sucking him with renewed enthusiasm.

Spike was taking deep breaths to calm himself, trying to hold back and not attract unwanted attention. It wouldn’t do to have his wildest fantasy come to life only to have it interrupted by the secretary walking in on them. This was the best thing that ever happened to him. The only thing even better than having Buffy’s lips around his cock, would be to be inside of her.

She pumped him with her hand while her mouth went lower to explore, deciding to pay some attention to his balls. She licked them and sucked them lightly into her mouth. Spike must have enjoyed the attention because he tensed in reaction and buried his bound hands into her soft hair to keep her there. Buffy indulged him by staying where she was, chuckling at his reaction.

Too soon, she could feel the muscles in Spike’s thigh tensing beneath her hand and his need to come made him whimper. The hand that was still stroking him slowed down. She didn‘t want him to come yet. She nibbled on his inner thigh, peppering kisses on his warm skin. Without a warning, she stood up, effectively shocking him out of his daze.

“What? Buffy…”

But before he had time to say anything else, she lifted her skirt around her hips and went back to her previous position in his lap. His eyebrows shot up in surprise when he realized she wasn’t wearing any panties.

“Naughty girl.” He whispered against her lips.

“Is--Is this ok, Spike? Do you want me? Tell me you do.” Buffy asked, suddenly feeling insecure.

He looked her in the eyes and she could see just how sincere he was. “I never in my life wanted anybody the way I want you Buffy.”

Taking his cock in her tiny hand, she rubbed her wet slit against the head a few times before sinking down on him.

She gasped loudly at the amazing feeling of him stretching her.

**should have done this sooner… What was I waiting for again?**

“Open your shirt, luv. I want to see you.”

She obeyed, unbuttoning her blouse with unsteady fingers, then opening the front clasp of her bra to expose herself to his hungry eyes. She put her hands on his shoulder to steady herself, then lifted her body up and sunk back down on him.

“Oh God, Spike. This is amazing. YOU, are amazing!”

He put his arms around her, careful not to get the handcuffs tangled in her hair, and pulled her close to him.

“You’re… God! You’re so bloody fantastic, luv--never felt anything like this--love you.”

“Love you too.”

They had been waiting too long for this. Both aroused beyond anything they had ever experienced, it didn’t take a lot to push them over the edge. Spike started lifting his hips off the couch to meet her every down trust, their speed increasing into a frenzy. She grounded down on him, rubbing her clit on his coarse hair, needing the release desperately.

Spike crushed his lips on hers to swallow her scream as she came. The clenching of her inner muscles drove him wild and with his hands on her narrow hips, he held her down as he emptied himself inside her body.

They closed their eyes and tried to catch their breath, coming down slowly from their orgasm. Spike was caressing her back in soothing circles.

“You are amazing, luv. You know that, right?”

“No, but I love to hear you say it.” She said, a shy smile stretching her now swollen lips.

Buffy busied herself by making him presentable again. She put his softening cock back into his pants, already missing the feeling of him but they didn’t have enough time for round two unfortunately. She took the time to lower her skirt over her thighs before finally looking back up at him.

“I’m so glad you came into my life, Spike. You have no idea.”

“Me too, pet. But…” He sighed. “Couldn’t I have met you a few years ago at a party in L.A., instead of now, in prison? We were living in the same city for bloody Christ sake! Don’t you feel like there’s someone up there laughing their bloody heads off at us?”

“I don’t know, Spike. Maybe it is fate that I came into your life at this time. Sure, it would have been better if we’d met before, but maybe we met now because I’m supposed to help you deal with life in prison. Or maybe even… help you get out of here.”

He looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “What the bleedin’ hell are you talking about? You can’t get me out. I have a life sentence. The key word in this being ‘life’. There’s nothing you can do for me.”

She disentangled herself from him and stood up. “Maybe there is.”

“Buffy. What are you getting at?”

She faced him. “Look, I don’t want to get your hopes up too much because if nothing ever comes out of this, it will hurt you. I mean, there’s really not much I can do. I even went to see a lawyer to find out what the options were, and there really isn’t a lot.”

“You went to see a lawyer? For me?”

She blushed and looked away. “Well… yeah. Why not? I needed to know.”

“Buffy, pet, look at me.” He waited until she turned her eyes to him before continuing. “Maybe I’m not the one who shouldn’t keep his hopes up. Personally, I know I’m here for life. But if you start thinking there’s a way of getting me out of here and it doesn’t work, you’re the one who’ll get hurt. So don’t.”

“She said--she said that the only hope for you was to get a confession out of the real murderer.”

Spike’s heart started beating faster. Flashes of the dream he’d had a few days ago flooding his brain with gruesome images. “And that WON’T happen because you’re not going anywhere near that wanker, hear me?”

It was his turn to stand up, too upset to stay seated any longer.

“I… I kinda already did.”

“You what?!”

“Now, don’t freak out, ok? It’s not like I went to knock on the door or anything. I just went to their house a couple of times, and followed them two or three times when they were going out. I was careful, they never saw me.”

“Are you out of your goddamn bloody fucking mind?! Do you have any idea what these people are capable of?”

Buffy frowned and took a step back. “I just…”

His attitude changed, he approached her quickly and took her face in his hands. He was white as a ghost, his face panic stricken. She understood his fear, but couldn’t let him win this one. The outcome was too important to both of them.

He could tell she was upset by his reaction so he soften his voice a bit. “Kitten, please, listen to me. It’s dangerous. If something happens to you, I’ll never forgive myself. Forget about all this, all right? I’d rather stay here for the rest of my life than know you’re risking your life for me.”

“What is it, Spike? You like it in here? We’ve made it cozy enough for you? Are you actually enjoying the powdered mashed potatoes with this gray stuff they call Salisbury steak? Sharing a cell the size of my walk-in closet with a deranged midget?..”

“So you met Snyder, huh?” He asked, unable to hide his amused grin.

She pouted. “Yeah. Unfortunately. And don’t change the subject.”

“Listen, Buffy. I’m sorry I reacted like this. I know you only want to help me. But Angel and Darla are dangerous and they won’t hesitate to harm you. As a matter of fact, they’ll bloody well enjoy it. Don’t get involved in this, ok? I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

She reluctantly nodded. She felt bad for lying to him, but someday, he’d thank her for it.

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