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A/N: You guys absolutely blew my mind with all the reviews you left me for chapter 23. It's the most reviews I've ever had. I couldn't believe it and it made me really happy, so from the bottom of my heart: Thank you! Keep em coming!


CHAPTER 24: On edge


The man walking with angry strides next to Spike was scaring him beyond any level of fright he had ever experienced before. Mainly, because he held his faith, as well as the faith of the woman he loved, in his hands. And if his heavy silence was any indication, the future wasn’t looking too bright. Spike wasn’t feeling like the twenty five year old man he was at the moment, more like a five year old little boy forced to walk along the Boogie man. The way back to his cell was painfully long. An eternity made even longer by the torturous silence that hung between them. But Spike hadn’t taken the older British man’s threats lightly and would never dare test him by opening his mouth, no matter how heavy the silence was becoming.

Giles led Spike from one hallway to another, ignoring the greetings he got from a few coworkers. From the corner of his eye, Spike could see the other man’s jaw clenched in what looked like an almost painful way. As if he was trying to break every tooth in his mouth to quell his overwhelming anger. A flow of conflicting emotions were battling for dominance on the guard’s face, but no matter how hard he tried, Spike couldn’t figure out what was going on in his head. There was something that looked strangely like disappointment there, but he had no idea what this had to do with the situation. Anger and disgust at finding out that his boss was fooling around with a prisoner, that, he could understand. But disappointment had no place in this as far as he knew.

They went through a few gates, and into the section where the holding cells were located. With every step, Spike’s anxiety was increasing in a dizzying way until it was too much for him to bear.

“Giles…”

“Shut your mouth!”

The silence was restored as fast as it had ended. They went up to the second level, where Spike’s cell was located. He was surprised he hadn’t been taken to isolation right away. With Giles’ foul mood, he had expected it, as well as a swift kick to the ribs. Maybe more. But instead, he was opening the cell Spike shared with Snyder. The guard pushed him unceremoniously inside and violently slammed the door shut.

“Your hands!” He barked angrily when Spike just stood there.

Giles was holding up the keys to the prisoner’s handcuffs, waiting for him to put his hands through the space between the bars so he could take them off. But Spike hesitated, seeing this as his only chance to speak up.

“Don’t get her fired. Please, mate. Don’t report her. It’s not her fault, she didn’t do anything wrong, I did. It was all me. She’s a good person and she loves her job. Do whatever you want to me, I don’t bloody care. But don’t take it away from her.”

Giles yanked Spike’s hands toward him to unlock the handcuffs. “She’s a grown woman. She doesn’t need scum like you defending her. Obviously, she’s already decided her job wasn’t her first priority.”

“Please! I don’t want anything bad happening to her… I love her.”

“Shut up, Spike.” Giles spat hatefully at him. He grabbed the prisoner by the front of his shirt and pulled him roughly against the metal bars of his cell. “You’re beneath her, and I don’t care what you have to say. I really don’t.

Spike could only watch as the guard walked away. He felt more helpless at this moment than ever before in his life. He wanted nothing more than to run after Giles and pound some sense into his head, but the bars were efficiently holding him back.

Pulling out his pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket, he lit one with unsteady fingers and went to sit on the hard cot. He couldn’t stop shaking as he replayed the earlier events over and over again in his head. He regretted that the last words exchanged between Buffy and him had been harsh. But it hardly mattered now. Not when his girl was about to face Giles on her own. Insecurity gripped Spike’s heart firmly when he thought of what they had, what they were about to lose. She had said she loved him, but chances were she was regretting ever meeting him now that she was about to lose her job.

He knew it was selfish of him to be bitter about the possibility that she was regretting their time together but he couldn’t help it. He loved her and cherished every second they’d ever spent together. But to be fair, unlike her, he had nothing to lose. She had everything to lose.

Imagining her alone in her office, nervous and scared, Spike felt a pang of guilt hit him. This was all because of him. If only he had never kissed her that day, life would have gone on for her and she wouldn‘t be in that mess. But he realized he was doing exactly what he was afraid she’d be doing: regretting their time together. No, he couldn‘t regret. Did that make him a bad man? Did that make him selfish? He didn‘t know anymore. His emotions were a confused jumble.

**I’m so sorry, Buffy.**

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Buffy had been waiting for ten minutes but it felt more like ten hours. She couldn’t take it anymore. She was so nervous that she jumped every few minutes, sure that she heard someone approaching her door. It was the most nerve wracking moment she had ever experienced and to be honest, she couldn’t have gone her entire life without experiencing it.

So many thoughts were bouncing around in her head. She couldn’t focus on one for more than a second. The distress in Spike’s eyes, the cold anger on Giles’ face, the way her heart had been racing… Feeling powerless to stop the events from unfolding the way they were. She was left with nothing. She had known that the minute she had picked up the phone to call Giles. But it couldn’t be helped. She had no choice. Or did she?

Maybe she could have given Spike more time to try to free her from the handcuffs. Maybe she could have found something in her office to cut her hair with. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt that much if he’d just pulled her hair out. Maybe she could have called Dawn and have her teleport herself inside her office to fix it and make things right. God, she was driving herself crazy! No. There was nothing else she could have done. She just hoped she was being overly dramatic by saying that she was about to lose everything. Maybe Giles would come back in the office and laugh with her at how ironic the situation had been. Or maybe he’d be touched by how romantic her forbidden romance with Spike was.

There it was again. The ‘maybes’. Yes, the wait was definitely driving her crazy.

When the door finally opened, she looked up with wild eyes, feeling like a trapped animal. She was so on edge that when she saw that it was only Harmony, she lost it.

“What the fuck did I say about knocking?!” She yelled at her bewildered secretary. “Don’t you have any goddamn manners!”

Turning bright red and not knowing what to say, the other woman turned to leave.

Buffy felt sorry almost instantly for lashing out at her. “Harmony, I’m sorry…” But it was too late, she was already gone.

Getting up, Buffy paced the length of her office, biting on her nails.

“I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this…” She repeated over and over like a mantra.

Finally, feeling like a coward, she grabbed her jacket and her purse. She knew it would only make matters worst, but she would never be able to have a decent talk with Giles in her current state. She’d only sob hysterically and say things that would make everything worst instead of helping. She needed to do this with a clear head if she wanted to have a shot at convincing him to give her a chance. So she would leave. She knew it wasn’t very grown up of her to walk away from her responsibilities and that it would only give Giles more reasons to think of her as an irresponsible airhead…

**That’s not what he thinks, Buffy. He probably thinks you’re a whore who uses the prisoners to work out your kinks. Some kind of nymphomaniac ho who uses her status as the warden to get what she wants. Oh God!**

This train of thought only made her panic even more and strengthened her resolve to leave as fast as she could, her tail tucked safely between her legs. She would get fired anyway so why should she care if Giles despised her a little more than he already did?

Hair messed up, eyes red and puffy, she walked out of her office. She stopped in front of Harmony’s desk, shame flooding through her at the way she had treated her secretary a moment ago.

“I’m so sorry, Harm… I didn’t mean… I’m having the day from hell.”

The blonde woman sitting behind the desk huffed, obviously still angry, although there was some curiosity behind her eyes when she looked up at Buffy.

“Please--Giles is coming. Tell him… Tell him I’m sorry. He’ll know what it’s about. Tell him I went home and I’ll see him tomorrow.”

Before Harmony could say anything, Buffy had ran out as if the Devil was coming for her.

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Giles knew she had been waiting for a long time and it wasn’t fair of him to torture her like this, but he had to calm down first before being able to face her. But stalling wasn’t going to change anything. No matter how many times he rehearsed what he was going to say, what questions he was going to ask, he knew that emotions would take over and he’d probably act like a right wanker. He had taken this young woman under his protection, had trusted her, believed in her. How could she do this? No. Why would be a more appropriate question. She must have a reason. Something that would explain it. Maybe he misread the whole situation. But the only way to find out would be to go to her office and face her. And hope that he’d manage to control his temper and wouldn’t start by throwing accusations at her.

He walked past Harmony’s desk with no intention of asking permission to go into Buffy’s office, but the secretary stopped him rather efficiently.

“She’s not in there.”

Giles stopped in his tracks, and turned to face the blonde girl. “What do you mean, she’s not in there? She was supposed to be waiting for me.”

“She was way weird. Between you and me, not to be nosy or anything, but she looked like she’d been crying. First, she yells at me, then she’s all weepy and all that. I really don’t get that…”

“Would you get to the bleeding point already!”

“Geez! What is it? Was there a memo passed around the office saying that it was ok to yell at the poor defenseless secretary today?”

Gritting his teeth and taking a deep breath, Giles tried to call down. “I’m terribly sorry I hurt your feelings, but would you please tell me where Ms. Summers is?”

Harmony decided at that moment that fake polite Giles was way scarier than loud yelling Giles, so she repeated what Buffy told her, word for word.

The British guard standing in front of her didn’t look too pleased with the message she gave him.

“Bloody hell.” He mumbled under his breath before rushing out of the office.

Harmony stared after him, mouth gapping. She finally shook her head in disbelief.

“GOD! Has everybody taken their crazy pills today or what?!”

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