Chapter 5 - Cold Once More

Elizabeth woke up to the sound of voices and the disorientation that came with not immediately recognising your surroundings. Blinking away the last vestiges of sleep, she turned in the sleeping bag and grimaced slightly as she became conscious of the way her body ached. Part of it was due to the fact that she'd slept on the cold, hard floor of a large 4 x 4 all night, but the other part…

Abruptly, the details of the previous night came flooding back and she automatically gripped the protection of sleeping bag more tightly around her.

Oh God. What had she done? And more importantly…why?

Scorching heat stained her skin as a wave of embarrassment crashed through her system. Outside, she heard William say something that was answered by another male voice and cringed. What was he going to say when he saw her? Worse…how was she going to be able to face him?

Last night had been amazing. It had been about heat and comfort…about love…

She shook her head suddenly. No, it wasn't about love, she reminded herself firmly. It was about sex and the fact that she'd casually engaged in a one night stand where her…their need had overcome sense.

Gingerly sitting up, she held the sleeping bag to her chest and looked around for her clothes deciding she needed to be dressed before she had to face him again. Within arms reach she saw her jeans and sweatshirt in neatly folded pile with her bra lying across the top. She knew she hadn't left them like that which brought her to the startling conclusion that William had. A small smile graced her lips at his unexpected thoughtfulness before she frowned at the absence of her panties.

Remembering how she'd help him take them off, she dived under the cover and groped around the bottom of the bag until she found her elusive underwear. Hurriedly dressing, she was just putting her boots back on when a brief knock came on the tailgate before it opened to reveal William.

In the startling snow lit light of day, his appearance was even wilder than the night before and she automatically raised a hand to her own tousled hair and crumpled sweatshirt.

"The snowplough's here and cleared the road," William explained in detached tone. "I've warned the chap about your car further down so, when you're ready, we can go. Is there anywhere in particular you want dropping off?"

Yeah, the nearest cliff, she thought to herself, conscious of the fact that after one brief glance in her direction, William had studiously avoided her gaze. So, he'd had his fun and now he was back to being cold and distant, eh? Well, she may not have had as much experience at meaningless encounters as he obviously had but two could play at that game she told herself bitterly as she fought against the sudden onrush of tears to her eyes.

Turning away from him, she made a show of folding up her rug as she coolly said, "Just leave me at the next town." From there she would call her uncle to come and get her.

"Do you want some coffee?" she heard him offer hesitantly after a short pause.

She closed her eyes trying to blot out the sudden softness of his tone that evoked memories of the night before and tried to swallow past the enormous lump that had formed in her throat as she struggled to get her heaving emotions under control.

She couldn't understand what was happening to her. Last night, in his arms, it'd seemed as if they were two halves of the same perfect whole. But this morning…this morning, she just couldn't comprehend the urges that had driven her into those wonderful arms in the first place. She was so confused…and so out of her depth.

As William stared at her rigid back he wished he knew what to say. Last night she'd been so warm, so eager. Now she was cold and distant, making it plain to him that as far as she was concerned their time together was a forgotten memory.

He sighed. It was just his rotten luck. Here he was wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch her…to tell her how much last night meant to him. And there she was, so withdrawn in on herself that she was nothing more than a shell of the passionate woman he'd had the pleasure of holding only hours before.

Shaking his head he realised that it had been so long since he'd been with a woman that he'd come close to forgetting the rules. He was getting a damn good refresher course right now though.

Annoyance flowed through him at her continued silence and he slammed the tailgate shut, mentally cursing himself for wanting to establish some sort of an emotional bond with a woman who’d obviously had no more than a passing physical interest in him. Hadn't Dru taught him anything for Christ's sake? Hadn't he learned that not all women needed or desired love?

God he was pathetic.

Mouth tightening into a grim line, he saw Buffy clamber into the front passenger seat and walked up to the driver's door, yanking it open. Not looking at her, he slid into the vehicle and was relieved when the motor started at the first turn of the key.

He put the car into drive and pulled off trying to ignore the strained atmosphere that stretched out between them. It was as if they were two enemies forced together and he hated it. Hated it and didn't have clue how right it.

He told himself that, like her, he should just forget their night together, but, for some reason, he couldn't seem to shake the feeling of loss…betrayal almost, at how remote she was now being toward him. At the back of his mind a little voice niggled at him…a little voice that kept insisting that for all her apparent indifference, last night had been special. That he'd been given a precious gift that was for him alone.

Glancing over at Buffy's taut features, William frowned before turning his attention back to the slippery road. He was being ridiculous. She couldn't have been…could she? No. No, definitely not. There hadn't been anything hesitant or shy about the way she'd touched him. Nothing uneducated or uncertain about the caresses that burned a trail of fire across his skin and made him ache so badly.

And yet…

Thinking back to the moment they'd become one, William admitted to himself that he'd been so overcome by lust at her aggressive action that he'd not been able to think of anything else. His body, so consumed by the fire that had enveloped it, had reacted instinctively, unable to hold back its base urge to move hard and fast within her. It had registered that she'd felt tight…very tight…but the need to possess and claim her body as his overrode any further rational thought.

Realising what he was thinking, William suddenly pulled himself up short and almost let out a sharp laugh of self-delusion. Would a woman really give up her virginity to some stranger in the back of his car in the middle of a snowstorm? Not bloody likely. So why the hell was he trying to make more of this than it was? Was it just to make it seem more acceptable to him that he felt a connection between them when she so obviously didn’t?

Christ, he really, really was a pathetic git.

Elizabeth sat next to William in silent misery wondering what he was thinking. If the grimace on his face was anything to go by, it wasn't pleasant. Probably hoping she wasn't going to make a scene when they got to the town that was fast approaching. Well, he needn't worry…she wasn't going to say a thing about the previous night. Just as he hadn't…which merely confirmed her suspicions of just how little their encounter actually meant to him.

That didn't mean that a part of her didn't wish that he'd say something though…make a gesture of some kind. But why would he? He'd given her a chance to change her mind and she'd not only said no, she'd backed it up with a forcefulness that made her face flame at the memory. She certainly hadn't acted like a shy virgin so how could she now be angry with him for assuming that casual sex was a part of her life?

They'd reached the outskirts of the town now and as William negotiated the roads to its centre, Elizabeth faced the prospect of never seeing him again. It was what she wanted, she told herself firmly…so why did those stupid tears insist on blurring her vision again?

Blinking rapidly, she couldn't help but ponder the irony of her current situation. That morning she'd felt like she'd die if she had to see him again and now…now she felt like she'd die if she didn't.

"You want dropping off here?" William suddenly asked brusquely, cutting across her unhappy thoughts.

She looked out the window to the space he'd indicated to outside a small Post Office and nodded, her throat tight with pain as she tried to suppress her urge to break down.
The roughness in William's voice, which disguised his reluctance to let her go, she misinterpreted as impatience to be rid of her and when he pulled to a stop she had the door open and was halfway out before he could anything to stop her.

If she hadn't had to wait for him to hand over her stuff, she would have walked off without even saying goodbye.

As she took the proffered rug from his hand, their fingers brushed sending a shock of awareness through William's system that had him hardening painfully at the remembered passion they'd shared. He desperately wanted to say something…reassure her that if there were any repercussions…but a woman who made love so skilfully and eagerly wouldn't take risks. Just as well when it hadn't even entered his mind in the heat of the moment. His arms ached to hold her to him one more time but the fear of rejection held him immobile and silent, simply watching her while she awkwardly rearranged her possessions more comfortably in her arms.

He had her name and knew the make of car. He could always trace her…although the way she was acting he wasn't sure that would be wise. Heartache lay down that road, he was certain of it. And all of it would be his. Better he just let her go and keep the good memories no matter how much he wanted there to be more between them.

As Elizabeth turned and walked away from William, she wondered how her legs were actually supporting her. The brief meeting of their hands had been like a lightning bolt of sensation through her and her fingers still tingled from the contact. Resisting the urge to turn back for one last look at the man who'd been her first lover, she told herself to forget him and forget last night. It was over…finished…and she'd never see him again.

William forced himself to turn and get back into his car then started the engine. Hands tightening around the steering wheel, he cast one last longing look at Elizabeth's retreating figure then pulled out with a screech of tyres.

'Keep going, mate, just keep going,' he told himself as he passed her and headed out of the town towards the small rural bed and breakfast he'd pre-booked for the night. Twenty minutes later, he pulled into a farmhouse's drive and smiled as the door flew open to reveal the delighted countenance of a slightly plump, fair-haired lady of around fifty years.

"William, my dear! It's so good to see you again," she gushed, coming forward with her arms open wide.

Pushing his jumbled feelings aside for the moment, William got out of his vehicle with a huge grin and engulfed the woman in a bear hug. "Hello Grace, it's good to see you too," he told her affectionately as he pulled back to look down at her kindly face. "Still looking as young and beautiful as ever," he added charmingly.

"Oh you!" she chuckled slapping him playfully on his chest as she stepped back from his embrace and absently patted her neat bun with her right hand.

"'Ere now, you're not trying to sweet talk my woman are you, young fella?" a gravelly voice suddenly demanded from the side.

"Course I am," William replied light-heartedly as he turned to face Grace's husband.

The older man's stern face broke out into a grin and he stepped forward, hand outstretched. "Don't blame you, son. She's right fine woman. I'd be offended if you didn't."

William grasped his friend's hand and drew the man into a brief hug before stepping back, his face clearly showing his joy. Jack Weston was a distinguished looking man in his early sixties who’d been good friends with his father. The families had been neighbours until the Weston’s decided to move down south and open up a B & B.

Although money wasn’t a problem, Grace enjoyed looking after people and had always wanted to run a cosy little guesthouse and Jack, never one to deny his wife anything, had happily agreed. The rural life suited them and William visited whenever he could, enjoying the easy company of the elder couple. "It's good to see you, Jack. How have you been?"

"Good, good," the elderly man replied, patting William firmly on the back. "Knees giving me a bit of gip, but other than that, can't complain. How about you, Will? Got yourself a young lady yet or do I seriously have to worry that you're after my woman after all?"

William's smile faltered slightly as memories of Buffy’s passion filled face entered his mind but then he pushed them back and shook his head. "You always have to worry, Jack," he commented with a chuckle as he put his arm around Grace and gave her a gentle squeeze.

The couple laughed with him and then he released Grace and went around to the back of his car and opened the tailgate. “So, where’s the Rascal?” he asked as he dragged out his backpack.

“He’s taking Maggie out for a walk,” Jack replied in amusement just as the sound of excited barking filled the air. “Looks like he’s brought her back safe and sound too.”

Seconds later a large black German Shepherd dog came bounding down the drive followed by a young dark-haired woman walking hurriedly behind. “William!” she called out with a huge grin and a wave just as the dog jumped up at him and began licking his chin.

“Ugh! Good to see you too, Rascal,” William laughed as he gave the happy dog a fuss. Looking up at the woman who had now joined them, he added, “You too, Mags. How are Josh and the boys?”

“They’re good. I’m bringing them over for dinner later,” Maggie replied, giving him a hug as Rascal dropped back down onto four paws.

“It’ll be good to see them again,” he said then let out startled exclamation as Rascal jumped into the back of his car and grabbed the sleeping bag. “Hey, you leave that alone, you devil!”

Ignoring William, Rascal jumped back out onto the drive dragging the quilted material triumphantly behind him. William automatically reached out and grabbed a corner causing the zip to undo all the way down thus revealing the bright orange inner.

Maggie quickly took Rascal by the collar and got him to release the bag then handed him over to Jack to take inside.

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Grace informed them as she followed her husband in.

Maggie nodded then turned back to help William gather up the sleeping bag. “Oh! There’s some blood on here. Did you cut yourself or something?” she asked in concern, holding up the orange fabric for him to see.

William’s head snapped up at her enquiry and he snatched the fabric from her hand to get a closer look. All colour drained from his face as the enormity of what the dried mark meant hit him with full force. His gut instinct had been right after all. Buffy had given him a precious gift and what had he done? Just left her all alone in a strange town without a second glance. “Oh, bloody, fucking, hell!” he cursed suddenly. “Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!”

“What?” Maggie queried in confusion. “Don’t worry, it’ll come out. No need to get so worked up over it.”

William looked up at her blankly for a second and then shook his head. “I’ve got to go back into town for a while, Mags. Tell your mum I’ll have that tea when I get back, okay?”

Without waiting for a reply, William threw the sleeping bag into the back, slammed the door shut then jumped into the drivers seat and started her up. With a quick wave in Maggie’s direction, William rapidly backed down the drive and out into the road then gunned the engine. He had to find Buffy before she left town.
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Elizabeth stood by the kerb patiently waiting for Rupert to arrive. After William had sped away, further confirming that he couldn’t wait to be rid of her, she’d used the nearby telephone box and immediately called her uncle. Naturally, he’d been concerned for her welfare overnight and was relieved to hear her telling him she was safe. He promised he wouldn’t be long but she knew it’d take a good forty minutes to get there, especially in the current conditions.

Seeing a cafe across the road, she’d gone over and had a hot cup of tea and some toast. Although she hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday teatime, she found that she wasn’t really hungry. Maybe sex did that to you…or maybe it was watching the man who’d taken your virginity drive away and knowing that you’d never see him again that made the thought of food turn your stomach inside out.

Yeah…that was it.

Once she’d eaten and tried not to think about William anymore, she’d paid up then gone back across the road and kept an eagle eye out for her uncle’s ancient Citroen.

Giles arrived about ten minutes after she’d left the café and Elizabeth didn’t think she’d ever seen a more welcome sight. He pulled up then got out and pulled her in for a brief hug before picking up her things and putting them in the boot.

Once Elizabeth was sitting in the passenger seat, she allowed herself to relax and gazed blankly out of the window. Last night had been the most wonderful night of her entire life and she’d never forget a moment of it…never forget him. And now she was going home; back to being boring old Elizabeth who wanted nothing more than to marry a nice, loving man and settle down. Trouble was, the faceless man of her dreams now had light brown hair, a scraggy beard and the most amazing blue eyes she’d ever seen.

Shame then, that the guy couldn’t get away from her quick enough. Life could really screw you over at times.
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By the time William had arrived back in town, he’d called himself every kind of name and then some. What if he’d hurt her? His stomach clenched unpleasantly at the thought. He’d hardly been tender had he? Shaking his head, he wondered how he could have been so blind. Looking back, all the signs were there. Sure, her touch hadn’t given her away but her body had…and so had her words. That’s why she’d been so forceful, he now realised, and why she’d been so distant this morning. Whereas before he’d taken her attitude as being withdrawn, he could now see that a woman who’d been a virgin wouldn’t have had any idea how to act in that kind of situation…hence the apparent aloofness. She’d probably been petrified.

And he…he, God help him, had been an over-sensitive ass, ignoring her when he should have been insisting that they talk…not to mention kissing her stupid like he wanted to. Then, of course, there was the subject of protection. He had absolutely no doubt in his mind that Buffy wouldn’t have been taking anything, so what if she now got pregnant?

He had to admit that the thought of them possibly making a baby from such a perfect night together wasn’t unappealing at all. In fact, it gave him kind of a warm buzz just thinking about it.

He shook his head. No good thinking about that yet. First things, first. Find Buffy then talk to her and tell her how you really feel about last night.

The Post Office appeared up ahead and William found himself a space nearby. Getting out, he turned in a circle avidly searching for any signs of the petite blonde. When it became apparent that she wasn’t anywhere nearby, he set off to check around the town.

Half an hour later, it became evident that wherever Buffy was, it wasn’t in the town. The local garage didn’t know anything about her car and no-one he spoke too remembered having seen her. It was as though she’d disappeared into thin air.

Returning to his vehicle, William let out a cry of frustration then smacked his hand down on the bonnet, startling a couple who were walking by. Offering a mumbled apology, he got in his car and sat there for a few moments, gathering his scattered wits back together.

He’d lost her for now but this wasn’t the end. He’d find Buffy again if it was the last thing he ever did and, when he did, he’d make damn sure he wouldn’t let his foolish fears and stubborn pride get in the way ever again.

TBC IN CHAPTER 6





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