Author's Chapter Notes:
Exerpts from "No Place Like Home"
Chapter 38:

Buffy's fist crashed into the vampire's nose with a satisfying crunch. This was exactly what she needed to relax herself after the stressful day she'd had. Buffy had tried to spend the day pampering her mother. Unfortunately, Dawn kept doing stupid things to get her mother's attention, and her mother had been too busy for Buffy's liking.

It was almost enough to make you think your kid sister was a demon. Almost, but not quite. Sure, Dawn was evil, but it was bratty-kid-sister evil, not needs-to-be slain evil. Whatever Spike thought, Buffy was sure of this. It would have been easier if Spike had known about Ted, her mother's robotic ex-boyfriend, or Kathy her demonic roommate. Buffy had known both of them were evil, when everyone else just thought they annoyed her, and she had been right. Considering how much Dawn annoyed her, if she was evil she would have set off Buffy's spider sense a long time ago.

Which brought up another problem. What was she to do with Spike? She'd been disappointed when she'd woken up and he hadn't been there. True it made things easier, since she would have been stuck with him all day once the sun came up, but she didn't know what to make of it.

Did he want her or not? His emotions told her he loved her, but his actions raised some doubt. Buffy had learned the hard way that love wasn't enough. She did believe that Angel still loved her, but that hadn't meant he was willing to stay with her. And Spike had given in so easily. He hadn't fought the way she'd expected him to. All in all it just gave her a headache.

So she was more than happy to be pummeling the vampire. Unfortunately, she was so preoccupied that she slew him too quickly. She'd even been quipping on autopilot.

"Hey!" A man yelled at her as a bright light was shone in her face. A night watchman approached her. "Miss, if you're looking for one of those rave parties, I'm afraid you're late. Chased a bunch of kids out of here last night."

"Oh, right." Buffy quickly went along with the guard's explanation of why a young woman would be in the industrial district at night. "Yeah. Darn. My fellow ravers will be so disappointed. It was my turn to bring the Bundt cake."

"You know, if it was my call, I'd let you do whatever you want. It's not like anybody's using this place or nothin'. But they just don't pay me enough to argue with the boss, so..."

"Already gone," she assured him.

She turned to leave when the guard called her back. "Oh, hey! Hold it, Miss. Take your... whatever this is with you."

He bent over, picked up a large glowing yellow orb and handed it to her.

"Thank you," she said as she looked at the curious object.

"Glow balls, huh?" He laughed. "I swear, I don't get your generation. What is that thing?"

Not really paying any attention to him, she replied, "I'll let you know as soon as I find out."

After a moment's consideration, she decided she did know what it was. It was a good excuse to talk to the vampire that had been stalking her all night.

She walked a distance away from the warehouse. Then she called out softly, "Any ideas?"

"About your new night-light? Not a one," Spike admitted as he stepped out of the shadows. He looked a little sheepish. "How'd you know I was there?"

"I always know where you are," she told him simply.

"Any word on your mum?" he asked her.

"No, still waiting on test results."

The walked deeper into Sunnydale's industrial district as Buffy continued her patrol.

He nodded. "Well, if you need any help. . . Slaying or taking care of your mum. Let me know."

"What?" Buffy was shocked. "You're not supposed to say that."

"Huh?"

"You're supposed to tell me that you're sure that it's nothing and that every thing's going to be okay."

"Oh, right. I'm sure it's nothing. Every thing's going to be okay," he said in a dead pan voice.

Buffy laughed. Spike looked startled for a moment, and then he joined in.

"Oh, god. Don't ever do that again," she told him.

"Never was good at the polite insincerity." He smiled at her and started to reach out his hand to touch her shoulder, but then he pulled back. "Seriously, Buffy. If you need anything, I know a thing or two about caring for the sick."

"I can't believe you just compared my mom to Drusilla!" Buffy spun around and started to walk away from him.

"No, I didn't mean. . . " He grabbed her arm to stop her. "I meant my mum."

That stopped Buffy dead in her tracks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. What did she. . ."

"It's all right. luv. It was a long time ago. It was consumption. Uh, you call it tuberculosis nowadays."

"Did she. . ? I mean, of course by now. . . That is. . . "

"Did she die? That what you're trying to ask?"

"Yeah," she said weakly.

Despite his saying it was a long time ago, Buffy could tell the pain was still real for Spike. It surprised her a little. She knew Spike was capable of great love, but it was unusual for a vampire to care for any of the people they had cared for in life.

"How old where you when she. . . died?" she asked carefully.

Conflicting emotions spread through him. He felt guilty. She supposed that he felt that he should have been able to do more, been able to save her somehow. There was also revulsion, and Buffy wondered if his mother's death had been particularly ugly. It made her unsure if she should be asking about it. Although he had brought it up.

He stopped and leaned against the wall of the building they were passing. "I was. . . She didn't die of the consumption. I killed her."

He looked her in the eye, as if daring her to say something, But Buffy could feel his shame. It surprised her. Not that he'd killed her–that was pretty normal for a vampire–but that he felt shame about it, or grief. It did explain the guilt, though.

She moved close to him for the first time that night, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay. A lot of vampires kill thei-"

"It wasn't like that!" Spike interrupted her frustratedly. He broke away from her, and started pacing. "I know what you think," he continued. "You think I'm like Angel. Killed his dad cause he could never live up to his expectations." He saw her startled look. "Yeah, I know all about that."

Buffy was surprised, not so much at Spike's knowing that Angelus had killed his family, but the reasons he'd given for it. Buffy had never stopped to consider why Angelus, or any vampire would go back and kill their mortal family. It was just one of those things they did. She'd never really thought it was motivated by anything. It was odd, and a little frightening to think that a vampire's first acts were to take revenge for their mortal lives.

"It wasn't like that. I loved my mum. I was trying to. . ." He sank to the ground, hugging his knees. "Trying to save her." His voice softened, "You know. I thought I could make her better, that she'd be healthy. . ."

"But she wasn't your mother anymore," Buffy finished for him. She sat next to him and put her arm around him.

"Yeah, she was. . . It was pretty bad. I had to stake her, not fifteen minutes after she rose. But before that. . . before Dru, I took care of her for a couple years. So like I said. . ."

"Thanks," Buffy told him.

She hated him a little for the revelation he'd given her. Not because it made him seem more evil, but it made him more human. It was all too understandable. And it made her all the more vulnerable to him.

She'd talked to all her friends about her mother's hospital trip over the course of the day and they'd all offered her empty consolations. Spike had been the only one with the courage, or the understanding to really try and talk to her about it.

It frightened her more than anything ever had to think that her mother might be sick. That someone she loved might be endangered by something she couldn't fight. And Spike would get that. William understood what it was like to have a sick mother, and Spike understood the need to deal with your problems directly and with force.

"It's different now," Spike interrupted the silence. She looked at him quizzically. "In my day, doctors, all they could do was tell you how you were going to die, and how to make it hurt less. If something's wrong, they'll cure her up before you know it."

She smiled at him. "Spike-"

"Shh. Look, you could use a friend right now. Let me be your friend Buffy."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "Yeah, I'd like that."





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