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Chapter Six

FLASHBACK

“Are you serious?” He was shocked.

She moved away from his embrace. She was angry. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was embarrassed.

He felt guilty. He hadn’t meant to make her feel embarrassed. He rushed to her and grabbed her arm. “Don’t go.”

“I can find my way back.”

“No, you can’t. You can’t find your way out of a paper bag with both ends open.”

Her eyes widened. Dammit Spike, he berated himself, keep your bloody mouth shut.

“You’re an ass!” She barked at him and started to leave again. He took her hand and brought her closer to him until she was back in his embrace. She stayed there, woodenly.

“It just surprised me is all. I mean, you’re…”cautious Spike. If you let on too much, you’ll freak her out. “Bloody gorgeous. How could you not have been kissed before?” And I’m glad, so glad. You’re untouched.

He looked at her and cupped her face in his hands. She looked at him in shock this time. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

He nodded, smiling tenderly.

“It’s not like I’ve really gone out all that much, ya know. I don’t really get a chance to date. I seem to spend a lot of time with a certain vampire.” She grinned at him.

He smiled and resisted the urge to kiss her right then and there. Everyday it was a little bit harder not to tell her he fell in love with her. Everyday it was a little bit harder not to give into his baser instincts and kiss her, hold her, love her wholly.

“So, you want me—to teach you?”

She nodded and then looked away, shyly. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to. I mean, I’m just a kid. You’ve been around, you—“

“I want to,” he told her honestly, almost breathlessly.

She blinked. “You do?”

He nodded. More than anything.

“Um, okay. S-so, what do I do?”

He was falling apart at the seams. He wanted to taste her so bad, he couldn’t think straight. She was looking at him expectantly.

“Lick your lips,” he instructed. He nearly groaned when her pink tongue came out and swept across her mouth. “Now, close your eyes.”

She closed them and he marveled at how much she trusted him. She knew all his stories, knew all about his presoul days and she still trusted him with her life. He was humbled by her on a daily basis. Everytime she graced him with a smile, every time she wanted his company when it had nothing to do with vampires or demons, every time she made him part of her family. She was his heaven.

He pressed his lips to hers and she jumped a bit. He continued, stroking a hand down her arm to calm her nerves. She relaxed and followed his lead. He moved his lips against hers and she instinctively imitated the action. When he swept his tongue across her lips, she immediately opened her mouth and he swept inside. He pushed at her tongue and she withdrew it. He sought it out and she moved it away again. It was duel with their mouths and Spike could feel himself grow more and more aroused as they continued. He knew he should stop, but he didn’t want to. He couldn’t seem to make himself. When she did, he would and not a moment before. She pulled back a second later, panting for air.

He watched her flushed cheeks and heaving chest and wondered how long until they could kiss again. He wanted to sink inside her and lose himself. If his heart was alive, it would leap out of his chest.

“Was I good?” She asked sheepishly.

He nodded, unable to find words.

“You mean that? You’re not just saying it?”

He shook his head. “N-no. You’re a natural.”

She smiled wide then. “Thank you Spike.”

She walked to his bike with a big smile on her face.

“Anytime,” he mumbled.

END FLASHBACK



Giles thoughtfully watched Buffy as she sipped her hot cocoa and ate her waffles. He’d been waiting up for her the night before, wondering what happened with her and Spike and found that she was not forthright in her answers.

“I know you’re wondering if he bit me last night, Giles. He didn’t.” She said without looking up from her breakfast.

Giles cleared his throat. “I expect you would have been shouting from the rafters if he had.” He attempted lightly.

She looked up at him then. “Are you angry with him Giles?”

Giles nodded. “Yes, I am.”

“Why?”

“That’s a silly question.”

“You still trust him.”

“I know he loves you. Despite how he did what he did, I know for him it was because he loves you.”

“So, it’s the fact that we didn’t have an erotic experience before he claimed me that has you bothered.”

Her bluntness shouldn’t have shocked him, but it still managed to after all these years. He coughed and took off his glasses to clean them. She smiled at his reaction.

“Well, like I told you before, when a vampire claims a mate it’s not on a whim, it’s not to gain control. It’s because they wholly love that person and want to spend their eternity with them. It’s rare for a vampire to claim a mortal, but Spike is a rare vampire. Always has been, from what I understand. I presume that’s why Whistler chose him to protect you. Whistler doesn’t just choose anyone. He knew you and Spike would work well together, he saw something in both of you that would work well together.”

“I’m sensing that there is more to this arrangement than Spike and I working well together. Giles…do you think Whistler wanted us to mate?”

Giles cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t rule out the possibility.”

“You know, you never really seemed all that surprised that he did it.”

“I always had a feeling he would do it one day,” Giles admitted softly.

She jumped up from her chair. “Why didn’t you tell me? Warn me? Did you want him to do it?”

“I didn’t have concrete proof that he would…what was I supposed to do? Deny his help to save your life based on my own feelings of mistrust? And no, I didn’t want him to do it! Why would I want that?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry Giles, I’ve just been questioning a lot of things lately. Motives…life.”

“You feel guilty about the Slayer?”

She rolled her eyes and hopped off her chair. She put her dish in the dishwasher and turned to him. “Is part of being British being psychic as well?”

Giles smiled. “I am psychic to an extent Buffy, you know that. Be that as it may, I also happen to know you well.”

“Yeah, well, I’m working through the guilt.”

“You can’t be held responsible for what happened—“

“What protection spells were you able to put together last night?”

Giles stared at her. “I presume you’re done talking about it then?”

“Yes, all done. All talked out about it. Spent the better half of last night talking about it with Spike. I should write an article. ‘You know you’re not normal when…’ and at the top of the list will be ‘you seek counsel from a vampire.’”

Giles grinned, “I rather think you should put ‘you know a vampire’ as number one.”

Buffy laughed and Giles smiled widely. It was a sound he hadn’t heard much in the past couple days. He’d missed it.

“I’ve been thinking I should go home today and protect the fam. Just need to know what kind of work we need to do.”

“This house has been protected as well as the uh, ‘fam’. The only work left to do is on you and Spike.”

“And you, Giles.”

“The house should suffice.”

“You too, Giles.” She insisted.

He shot her a quick smile and nodded briefly. “Yes, if you insist.”

“I do.”

“I suppose you should go home, however. Check in and let them all know you are in fact all in one piece.”

“I know, I know, I know. I’m on the way. You don’t mind, though, if I—“

“You can stay as long as you need, Buffy. You know that.”

She smiled broadly. “Thanks, Giles.” And with that she bounded off.

Spike was right in his assumption. He did love her with his whole heart and would do anything to protect her. The point of the matter was, however, Giles knew it was useless to hope and dream. Whether she knew it or not, she had always belonged to Spike and he had always belonged to her. When Spike accused him of loving her, he had at first felt frozen and outraged by his find. But, that had given way to acceptance and understanding. He accepted his place in her life and held onto it; it was the lot that had been carved out for him. It was fruitless to wish and want for more. He’d always be her mentor and friend, her spiritual advisor and a father figure. The only wish and want he had now was for the lost couple to make amends and do right by each other.





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