Chapter Eight



Spike was feeling things. Things that he’d felt before, but never took the time to analyze. Things he’d shoved down for one reason or another. It wasn’t as if it was any easier now than it would have been before. It was downright confusing and Anya’s words kept coming back to haunt him. He was finding it even hard to look at Buffy right now, even if looking at her was all he wanted to do. How the hell could he define what he was feeling for Buffy right now? And it wasn’t as if it were just RIGHT NOW. It was something that had been dormant and was just waiting for the right time to show itself. If anytime was actually the right time. Love didn’t wait for the right time, it just came and you had to deal with it.

Spike watched her as she chatted up customers and smiled graciously. He was immediately transported back to high school. Anya had been right, even though he hadn’t wanted to say it. Buffy had been his knight in shining armor. She had saved him from what could have possibly been a hell situation and made him feel welcome and accepted. That tiny, loving, pain in the ass girl had made him feel at home in a place he was so adamantly against EVER calling home. She’d always been there for him, and he found that for some time, he had taken her for granted. She always seemed so put together and everyone loved her. Why would Buffy ever need anyone or anything? She was Supergirl, Wonder Woman, she was the epitome of independence and grace. Well, sort of. The girl could barely walk and chew gum at the same time, but that was a different story.

Come to think of it, Buffy could have been the poster child for a suicide victim. As morbid as that sounded, but, wasn’t it always the ones that seemed to have everything going for them the ones that fell apart when the doors were shut? Not that Buffy didn’t have her share of problems. She had a non-existent father whom she would glibly excuse by saying ‘he had better things to do than be a father.’ Anyone who knew Buffy would know the hurt that lay just beneath the surface of that comment. He supposed that was why Buffy had been so angry at Faith for not knowing who Nate’s father was.

It wasn’t until after Buffy’s mother died that Spike saw all of Buffy. The Buffy that could cry, that didn’t always smile, that got scared, that took the superpower bit to a whole new frustrating level and made him want to shake her. Much like she had made him want to do over the past month since Faith had died. Spike had forced himself through though. Made himself accessible to her and supported her. He was bound and determined to get to the core of Buffy Summers. And he did. What he saw, he loved and adored. She was a breath of fresh air in the demented little world that Drusilla had created. Dru had been his dark, Buffy was his light. Scratch that, she was more than just that, she was both, his light AND his dark. When she was being stubborn and distant, she was his dark, when she was smiling at him, laughing with him (and at him) and being the sweet, caring woman she was, she was his light.

His everything.

He had no idea what he was thinking when he’d taken up with Anya. Their friendship hadn’t suffered too much, but he was reminded of what Cordy had said once—that he went running after Buffy more than he did Anya. God, how could he have been so blind? When Buffy needed him, he dropped everything to be there for her. When Anya needed him…well, in all fairness Anya’s definition of needing him was entirely different than Buffy’s. Buffy’s needs were legit, Anya’s needs were at first sexy and cute and then just plain annoying. Exactly how many times a day did the girl need to have sex? Spike considered himself a pretty sexual guy with a healthy appetite for it, but Anya…she had to be a nympho.

The day before when they’d spent the day at the park with Nate, Spike had this feeling wash over him. It was as if he could see the future and in it, as always, he saw Buffy. But, when he saw her, he also saw Nate and other little tykes running around. He saw them together. It was a moment of clarity, a moment that told him that everything was going to be all right and that what he was thinking WAS right and was meant to be.

“Hey Spike, you’re staring off into space again. Trying to contact the mother ship?” Buffy quipped as she strolled past him. She laughed lightly to herself at her own joke and Spike smiled.

“Brat!” He called after her.

“Loser!”

“Wench!”

“Dork!”

Spike and Buffy dissolved into giggles. The sound of the door opening and Cordy squealing with delight caught Spike’s attention. Cordy was currently hugging some tall, broad- shouldered, dark-haired man. Spike cocked his head to the side. Boyfriend for Cordy?

He looked over to Buffy, about to say something about that when he noticed the look on her face. She had turned ghostly pale and she appeared frozen in the spot she was standing in.

“Buffy?” Spike asked and stood up from the table, about to make his way over to her.

“Buffy, I was hoping to find you here.”

Spike’s head whirled to the big man. What did he just say? He knew Buffy? How did he know Buffy?
“How’s Nate doing?” He asked her.

“He’s fine, thanks. He’s good. Much better.”

“You didn’t call.”

Spike raised his eyebrows, Buffy was supposed to call this man? Who the hell was he?
“Sorry, I…I got busy.”

“So you weren’t giving me the brush off?” The man smirked.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Spike asked graciously, stepping in between the guy and Buffy.

Angel looked thrown for a minute, “I’m uh, Angel. Nate’s pediatrician.”

“Oh, is that right?” Spike said dryly and crossed his arms across his chest.

Angel nodded, “do I know you?”

“I’m Spike. I’m Buffy’s best friend. Nate’s uncle.”

“Oh, well, nice to meet you, Spike,” Angel stuck out his hand. Spike took it, trying to stop himself from squeezing it hard. Their eyes met and while he didn’t see malicious intent on Angel’s side, he still didn’t like him.

“Excuse me,” Buffy said, pushing Spike out of the way. Spike glared at her. “I’m sorry, Angel. I just got a little wigged about calling you. I mean, you’re Nate’s pediatrician.”

“And pediatrician’s can’t date?”
“Oh, no, that’s not what I’m saying. But, they can’t date patients.”
“I’m not asking Nate on a date, Buffy. I’m asking you.”

“I know, I just…I don’t know.”

“For crying out loud Buffy it’s a date, he’s not asking for your hand in marriage. Build a bridge and get over it already,” Cordy rolled her eyes. Now Spike was glaring at her.

Buffy looked trapped and just when Spike was about to intervene and tell the nice doctor man that Buffy wasn’t interested when Buffy beat him to the chase.

“Okay, I’ll go out with you.” Wait, that wasn’t a rejection!

“What?” Spike sputtered.

Buffy shot him an odd look and then directed Angel away from the audience of Spike and Cordy.

“What the bloody hell is she doing?” Spike hissed.

“Getting a life.”

“She has a life.”
“Not much of one. She deserves to have some fun, Spike. Besides, Angel’s a nice guy, he likes kids, he’s successful and smart…what’s not to like?”

“He’s too tall for her. He probably wears lifts. And look at that hair gel.”
Cordy looked at him, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

“What?”

“Someone—“ Cordy began.

“Cordy, I didn’t know you knew Angel,” Buffy interrupted.

Cordy shrugged, “small world. So, you got a date?”

Buffy smiled sheepishly, “I do. He’s going to stop by on my lunch hour tomorrow to take me out for ice cream.”

“Ice Cream?” Spike balked. “Ice cream on a lunch break?”
“What’s wrong with that?” Buffy and Cordy asked at the same time, then shot each other funny looks.

“Ice cream is not a healthy lunch. He’s a pediatrician for Christ’s sake, shouldn’t he be pushing broccoli and salad and things of that sort down your throat?”

Both women looked at him as if he’d lost it, but Spike continued on.

“What kind of pediatrician is he? Next thing you know he’ll be telling you that Nate doesn’t need his vegetables and you can cram cupcakes in his face all day. Then he’ll tell you to forget about brushing his teeth—“
“He’s a pediatrician, not a dentist,” Cordy pointed out.

“Oh, see? You’re already making excuses for him!”

Cordy turned to Buffy, “Lunch hour huh? I think Spike could find it in the kindness of his heart to give you at least an extra half hour to spend on your ‘date.’ Couldn’t you, Spike?”

Spike wanted to throttle Cordelia right about now, especially since Buffy now had a hopeful look on her face. “Fine,” he muttered.

“How about a whole hour?” Cordy pressed.

“Don’t push your luck,” Spike pointed at her. “Doesn’t he have patients to see? Isn’t he busy at all? What kind of doctor can just take off for an hour like that?”

“The kind that doesn’t work on Sundays,” Cordy told him.

“I need to get my order,” Buffy said and rushed off.

Spike glared at Cordelia. “Office. Now.” And he practically dragged her to his office.

“You do realize you’re not supposed to be man handling the help?” Cordy told him dryly as Spike just about slammed the door shut.

“What the hell are you trying to do?” Spike demanded.

“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Buffy and that Angel guy…setting them up.”
“I’m not doing anything! He asked her out.”
“You’re not helping! You’re pushing them together.”

Cordy’s eyes widened, “I’m PUSHING them together? Okay, you know what Mr. I’ve-been-in-denial-since-high-school-about-how-I-really-feel-about-Buffy? DON’T YELL AT ME because YOU’RE too chicken shit to do anything about it! Do you think that just because you’re completely clueless that the rest of us are too? You do realize that even Anya knew how you really felt about Buffy, don’t you? The poor girl jumped through hoops to get your attention and all Buffy has ever had to do is walk in the room.

I’m not pushing them together, I’m pushing YOU to finally get off your ass and do something about it! I’m also pushing Buffy to think about something else aside from the fact that she’s basically now a single mom with no life AND her sister just died. She deserves to have a little fun and be reminded that she is still young and found attractive. Besides, why should she have to wait for you to get off your ass and tell her how you feel? She could very well be an old lady before that day happens and do you know how hard it is to date when you’re eighty?”

Spike stared at her, open mouthed and in shock. “Y-you know how I feel?”

“Does the word ‘duh’ mean anything to you?”

“Does she know?”

Cordy sighed with exasperation. “No, she doesn’t.”

“Do you think she feels anything for me?”

Cordy tilted her head thoughtfully and chewed on her bottom lip. “That, I’m not sure of. I mean, sometimes I think yes, and other times. . . well, the girl isn’t exactly an open book.”

“Tell me about it,” Spike agreed dryly, raking a hand through his hair. He narrowed his eyes. “What about your friend? Why are you willing to help ME out and hurt him in the process?”

“Angel and I aren’t exactly ‘friends’. We grew up together and all that, and I had a major crush on him. I asked him out and he rejected me for some bimbo named Darla. NOONE rejects Cordelia Chase and gets away with it.”

Spike grinned, “so this is payback?”

“In a manner of speaking. I like to think of it in three ways: One, all is fair in love and war, two, I’m helping you and Buffy out because in some weird way I do care what happens to you two freaks, and three. . . you and Buffy are meant to be. It’s fate, kismet, all that deep stuff. Anyone either of you get involved with is eventually going to get hurt because of your intense devotion to each other—for example, Anya. Maybe this will wake Buffy up to her feelings for you.”

“You surprise me, Cordy. Here you are, flitting about only thinking of yourself and really, you do care about others and notice what’s going on around you.”
“Don’t give me too much credit there Spike. When you and Buffy get married one day—if you EVER, you know, TELL her—then I’ll get all the glory and not only be the maid of honor BUT have your first born girl named after me!”

“So in the end, it’s still all about you.”

“Spike, it’s ALWAYS about me.”

He started to laugh and Cordy did too.

“Any advice?” Spike asked after a minute.

“Well, if you want to make Buffy compare and contrast, you’re going to have to show Buffy what it means to be loved by you. You’re going to have to ease your way in though. Going in all heart shaped boxes full of chocolates, roses and dramatic declarations of love is NOT the way to Buffy Summers’ heart. That will send her running for the hills. What you need to do is have more days like you did yesterday. Nate is the way to her heart now—“

Spike winced, “not going to use him to get to her. She would never go for that and I really do love him. I couldn’t use him that way.”

“I’m not saying that, dummy. I’m SAYING that you do love him and he loves you, right?”

“Right.”
“And Buffy’s priority is Nate right now. The only way you’re going to be able to let her know how great it can be is if you show her that you can be the long haul, family guy.”

“What about Angel? He’s Nate’s pediatrician. How can he not be the long haul, family guy.”

“Because Buffy is meant to be with William, that’s why. Buffy’s stubborn—“

“Don’t I know it!”

“So, it’s up to you to be persistent without going over the top and making her run the other way. She trusts you and believes in you Spike. Reinforce it.”

“When I did that before, it blew up in my face.”

“Because of Anya whom is now out of the picture.”

“Good point.”

“I think another family day with Nate is in the cards, don’t you?”

Spike grinned, “I rather think there is.”





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