Chapter Nine



“Listen mister, don’t think I’m easy just because you give me that look,” Buffy told Nate as she thrust one last cookie at him. When she had begun to put it away, Nate had looked so despondent that Buffy couldn’t resist the pouty lip. Probably because it was so much like her own. “Gonna have to sit down, buddy.”

Nate sat down on the floor with a plop as he gobbled his cookie. She smiled and sat down across from him. She watched him as he every so often would offer her a bite of his cookie and then giggle when she took what he offered. His giggle caused Buffy to giggle too, his merriment was contagious.

“Can I come in? Or is this a private party?”

Buffy looked up to see Spike standing in the door, smiling down at them. She started to get up.

“No, don’t get up pet. I’ll join you.” He strolled across the room and sat down, on Buffy’s right and ruffled Nate’s hair who promptly offered him a bit of cookie.

Spike took it and laughed at Nate’s giggle as well. Then, Nate stood and toddled over to him, turning around and carefully plopping himself down on Spike’s lap. The simple act warmed Buffy’s heart and she found herself staring fondly at them. “You know, you’d make a really good dad.”

He looked at her in surprise. “What makes you say that?”

“Because you’re so good with him. He loves you. Nate doesn’t just cuddle with anyone you know.”
“Does he cuddle with Angel?”

Buffy gave him a funny look as she stood and dusted herself off from cookie crumbs. “Jealous?”

Spike shrugged and looked down, she could have sworn he was pouting. “Maybe.”

Buffy chuckled, “nothing to be jealous about.”

Spike’s head popped up, “really?”

“Really. Nate loves his Uncle Spike and no one could ever replace you. Especially not his pediatrician, whose main function is to poke and prod him. Or, you know, prescribe him medicine when he’s ill to make him feel better.”

Spike leaned back against the fridge and watched as Buffy finished cleaning up from dinner. “So you guys really hit it off, huh?”

Buffy shrugged, “I think so. I’m not really sure. It was a short visit and I left definitely feeling something for him.”

Spike straightened, “oh? What’s that?”

“Gratitude. Nate was sick, he had it in his power to tell me what was wrong with him and then make him better.”

“Well, the amoxicillian made him feel better, not Angel himself.”

“You know what I mean. I don’t know, Spike. It’s been so long since I’ve had even the remote desire to date. So long since I’ve ever been attracted to anyone.”

“Buffy, you don’t date at all. You hate to date.”

“I know, that’s what I’m saying. Marvel at the concept that Dr. O’Connor made me want to date.”

“Or is it just gratitude like you said?”

Buffy frowned thoughtfully and sat back down on the floor, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She looked at him, “you tell me.”

“Well, if it’s not gratitude then it could be that Cordy was right there shoving him down your throat. Not to mention that he was right there putting you on the spot, which I know you hate, so it could have been peer pressure.”

Buffy raised her eyebrow, “since when do I EVER give into peer pressure?”

Spike pretended to think about it, “um, never.”

“Exactly. So, what do you think I should do? I mean, should I go out with him and see if my prognosis is mere thanks that he was there to save the day when I felt helpless, or do I not go out with him because it could be just that?”

Spike stared at her for a long time, so long that Buffy poked him on the leg, wondering what he could possibly be thinking about for so long.

“I think you think too much Buffy Summers and should allow yourself some time out with him and see what you feel by the end of your date. If you don’t, you’ll always wonder what it was.”

Buffy nodded, “I think you’re right. I do think too much. He’s really cute, isn’t he?”

“I’m your best friend, and I’m a guy. I’m not gay though, Buffy. I’m not going to be bloody checking out guys with you.”

Buffy giggled, “you know who I think has a crush on you?”

Spike raised his eyebrows, intrigued. “That quiet bird that comes in every now and then with the notebook?”

“No, she’s gay.”

“How do you know?”

“I talked to her. She told me her girlfriend owned a daycare—hey there’s an idea!—and was still somewhat in the closet due to it. Doesn’t want it to ruin her business if people find out and whatnot.”

Spike looked at her incredulously as Nate leaned over and started to play with his shoelaces. “You always know what’s going on with people.”

Buffy smiled, “that’s because I take the time to talk to people. Especially if they’re a regular like she is.”

“Name?”

“Tara. Don’t go talking to her now,” Buffy poked him in the arm, “I don’t want her thinking I’m talking to everyone and their mother. She’s really kind of shy and soft spoken.”

“What are you trying to say? I’m shy and soft spoken,” Spike told her in mock offense, putting his hand over his heart.

“Please. You’re about as shy and soft spoken as a mack truck. Right Nate?”

Nate stopped inadvertently untying Spike’s shoe laces long enough to look up and say “yeah.”

Buffy gasped and held her hand over her mouth. “Did you hear that?”

Spike grinned, “Nate, do you want another cookie?”

“Yeah.”
Buffy jumped up immediately and grabbed another cookie and handed it to him.

“How could I resist that?” Nate forgot all about the shoelaces and attacked his cookie with vigor.

Spike whispered in his ear loud enough for Buffy to hear, “do you know how happy you just made your Aunt Buffy? I think your next word should be ‘car’. That way you’ll be sure to have one by the time you’re—Buffy, why are you crying?”

She shook her head, and reached for some paper towels. Spike stood and sat Nate down on the floor to eat. He went over to Buffy and took her in his arms. “What is it, pet?”

“I mean, it’s only one word. It’s only ‘yeah’. . . I just wish. . . I just wish Faith was here to hear it.” She hugged him as she cried into his shoulder. She missed Faith, missed her every day and it was times like this, when Nate would do something new, that Buffy felt her loss even more acutely. “It’s just so sad that she’ll never get to see him say it. She’ll never see him get all his teeth, go to kindergarten, lose all his teeth. . . she’ll never get to see all those things. It’s not fair.”

Spike stroked her hair, “I know Buffy, I know. You don’t think she’s watching over him at all? I do. I think she sees it all. With all the things Faith did wrong, I know she did love him very much. I’ll bet she heard him, and I’ll wager she’ll see it all.”

“Do you think so?”

“I do.”

She pushed herself away and wiped at her eyes with the towel. “It does get easier every day you know, I don’t always fall apart like this.”

“Buffy, it’s normal. She was your sister and that is her son. It’s normal to feel this way, it’s all part of the grieving process. No one expects you to be a hundred percent after a month.”

“I know, I just hate to feel weak.”

“You’re not weak, woman!”

“I can tell you’re frustrated with me when you call me ‘woman.’” She gave him a small smile.

“If you weren’t so bloody thick-headed—“

“Me? You’re one to talk!”

“Hey now—“

“Did you want to know who had a crush on you or not?”

Classic Buffy. Change the subject when she didn’t want to hear it anymore. She smiled as Spike shifted gears in his head.

“Okay, who?”

“Andrew.”

Spike’s eyes flew off his head, “Andrew?” He sputtered. “No way.”

Buffy nodded, “he talks about you as if you’re a god and he’s here to worship you.”
“I didn’t think he was gay.”

“I don’t know if he is or not, actually. He’s kind of. . . ambiguous. You guys could be the ambiguously gay duo!” Buffy burst out laughing at the look of horror on Spike’s face.





Spike was sulking. Today was the day. D-day. Date day. He had enjoyed their time the night before when it had just been them, the three of them just hanging out having a good talk, laughing, hearing Nate say a new word. There were tears, but Spike was glad he had been there for it. He wanted to be there every time Buffy cried. Every time she mentioned that day she had to take Nate to the pediatrician’s was another knife to his heart. He wanted to have been there for her. He knew she had to have been scared and feeling alone and he hated that she felt like that. Hated it because she wasn’t alone. She had him and if he could only find a way to tell her—

“What’s your problem?” Cordy asked, standing in front of his desk.

He peered up at her from where his head was resting on the desk like an insolent child. “Nothin’.”

“Liar. Oh, I know. Today is Buffy’s date with Angel. Relax, it’s not like she can have sex with him in only an hour. Well, she could—“

“Cordelia!” Spike shouted, sitting upright. “Do you mind? Don’t you have work to do?”

“Well, yeah. I just thought you’d like to know that Andrew is going to be a little late and Lorne needs to leave, like now. So, unless you want your bar unattended for God knows how long, I suggest you get your tight butt out there.”

Spike grinned, “tight butt huh?”

“Did I interrupt something?” Buffy asked, coming into the room. “Did I hear something about tight butts?”
Spike grinned devilishly, “Cordy was just saying I had a tight butt.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows, “okay then. I’m going to get ready for Angel. He’s going to be here in a bit, so you might want to get out there Cordy.”

“On my way. Make sure you wear that green shirt, it brings out your eyes!” Cordy called after her as she made her way out the door.

Spike pinched Cordy’s arm as they made their way to the front. “Don’t help her on her date for fuck’s sake!”

Cordy rolled her eyes, “whatever. I’m not going to tell her to go out in a brown sack like you probably would.”
“I thought you were on my side here?”

Cordy smiled cheekily, “I’m on the side I’m always on.”

“Which is?”

“Mine.”

“Cordy,” Spike growled at her.

“Besides, I enjoy watching you squirm. Makes me wonder just what you’ll do and how long it’ll take you to make a move. Oh, look. There’s Angel now. Excuse me while I go greet him.”

Spike glared at her and then at Angel as he came in having the audacity to smile.

Lorne came over and patted Spike on his back, “don’t worry crème brulee, it’ll all work out for the best.”

Before Spike could ask if he knew too, Lorne was gone. Spike sighed and then gasped when Buffy retreated from the bathroom. God, Cordy was right. Green was the perfect color on her. She had changed into a tight, soft green turtleneck and black skirt that came just above her knees. Her hair had been brushed out from her braid and it fell in waves around her shoulders. Her makeup had been touched up and made a tad darker. To sum up, she was glowing and beautiful and Spike wanted nothing more than to stop her. His feet seemed to have a mind of their own as he moved towards her.

“Buffy,” he told her, almost breathlessly.

She looked to him, halfway to Angel who was beaming at her. “Yeah?”

She was flushed and she looked nervous as well as excited.

Spike stopped. What was he going to say? Tell her that she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and to not go out with Angel? How could he do that to her? Cordy had been right, she deserved to have a bit of fun. Wasn’t that the whole reason why he had told her to go out when she asked if she should or not? He didn’t want to advise her to not go out with the man and then have her wonder if there possibly could have been anything. He just had to make sure to give Angel a bit of competition, that’s all. Then Buffy would see that they were meant to be, always had been, and she’d come to him of her own accord. Wouldn’t she?

“Spike? What is it? I’d really like to go now.”

Spike swallowed and took a deep breath, forcing a smile. “Have fun. You look beautiful.”

Buffy smiled, a look of surprise passing over her features. Note to Self: Tell Buffy she’s beautiful more often.

“Thanks, Spike.”

Buffy made her way over to Angel who took her hand gallantly and kissed it. She smiled shyly at him and he held out his arm for her to take. Spike swore he heard Cordy tell her that if she wanted to take longer than an hour, it would be no problem.





Buffy was having a good time, she felt relaxed and not at all sick as she had first felt when she had started getting ready for her date with Angel. He was easy to talk to, kind, gentle and easy-going. He was soft-spoken, which she wasn’t used to because Spike was the complete antithesis of soft-spoken. Not to mention that Spike could at times be wound tighter than a drum when he wasn’t getting his way and Angel—why the hell was Spike making an entrance in her thoughts on her date with Angel?
As soon as she and Angel came back to the restaurant, she felt as if she were on display from the eyes that swerved in her direction. Cordelia gave her a huge smile, Andrew looked wistfully at her and smiled approvingly at Angel and Spike looked. . . well, he appeared to have a dark cloud looming over his head.

“I had a nice time, Buffy,” Angel told her gently and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’d like to do it again sometime. Maybe when you have some more time?”

“Oh, I can help. I can watch Nate, Buffy,” Cordy came up and threw her arm around Buffy’s shoulders.

“Uh, okay—“ Buffy replied, her head on a tailspin all of a sudden.

“Great, I’ll call you.” He strolled out, waving to Spike who nodded and gave him a fake smile.

Cordy ushered Buffy into the back to change, chatting on and on about how she used to know Angel in high school and how he was considered the greatest catch and the most likely to succeed. Buffy was only half-listening, letting the events of her date sink in, and wondering why Spike was so gloom and doom.

“What’s wrong with Spike?” Buffy blurted out.

Cordy stopped mid-sentence. “Oh-kay,” she said slowly. “I guess you didn’t want to hear about how Angel was Quarterback for his high school.”

“Sorry Cordy, I was listening. I just noticed that Spike seemed—“

“Cranky? Moody? Yeah, he’s been that way for a while now.”

“That’s not true. Spike’s not always like that. Sometimes it seems as if he’s cranky but really he’s just deep in thought—“

“You know him very well, huh?”

Buffy pulled her work shirt over her head and shrugged, “well, yeah.”

“And I’m sure he knows you just as well,” Cordy observed.

“Yeah,” Buffy said slowly. “Comes with the territory, I guess. So, what’s wrong with him?”

“Who knows. I don’t think he’s ‘deep in thought’. I think he’s just cranky. Well, I have to get back to work! We’ll chat later.”

Buffy watched her go and shook her head slowly. The girl was a whirlwind. Trekking out to front, Spike was talking to Andrew about something and Andrew was staring up at him adoringly. Buffy sauntered up behind Andrew and made kissy faces at Spike over the boys shoulder. Spike’s eyes widened and he stepped back considerably from Andrew.

Andrew spun around and smiled weakly. “Buffy, hi. How was your date? Angel looked. . . like an Angel. Very handsome. What kind of ice cream did you get?”

Buffy smiled. Some people found Andrew annoying, but she liked him. She found his offbeat sense of humor and personality refreshing. He saw things in a whole new light. “I had chocolate cookie dough. Very yummy. How goes things around here? I miss anything?”

“Oh nothing. It’s been kind of slow. I was trying engage Spike into a game of I Spy but he decided to lecture me instead.”

“Andrew,” Spike told him sternly.

“I’ll play with you, Andrew,” Buffy smiled. So that’s what got Spike all sour puss.

“Buffy,” Spike said on a slight whine.

Buffy blew Spike a kiss and headed for her table that suddenly had customers.



Spike pulled Cordy aside, discreetly, the first chance he got. “So, how’d her date go?”

Cordy rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me with this? Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

“I’m afraid of the answer,” he grumbled. “She looked so bloody happy when she came in. . .” he trailed off, remembering her happy smile, flushed cheeks and wind blown hair. She had looked happy all right, happy and beautiful.

Cordy snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Hello, where’d you go?”

Spike shook his head, “sorry.”

“I really think you should ask her. I think you also might be interested to know that while I was telling her all about Angel’s virtues, she was concerned why you looked like such a sour puss when she came in.”

Hope dawned on Spike’s face, “she was worried about me?”

“Yes,” Cordy said as if he should have known this all along.

Spike paused and pointed at her, “you going to tell me how her date went or not?”

“Nope. If I tell you everything, then you’ll never talk to her. That’s the whole point, Spike. TO TALK TO HER. How else are you going to convince her that it’s you she belongs with?”

Spike nodded and looked down, “yeah, you’re right.”
“Duh.”

Spike shot her a glare. “Don’t you have work to do?”

“You brought me in here, remember? Keep it up and Buffy’s going to think there’s something going on between us.”
A light bulb went off in Spike’s head.

“Don’t even think it,” Cordy was quick to shoot it out. “That would be only playing a trick on her and do you really think Buffy would take too kindly to that if she found out?”

Spike sighed, “yeah, you’re right.”

“And this surprises you? So, why don’t you make sure you talk to her before she leaves tonight?”

“Yes, Cordy.”

“Just keep saying that.”



Buffy watched as Spike sauntered up to the bar where Buffy was helping Andrew wash glasses. He looked almost sheepish and she wondered what was up.

“Hey Buffy,” he said as he approached.

“Hey Spike, what’s up?”

“How was your date?”

Oh yeah, her date. It felt like hours and hours since she’d had that. She glanced at the clock. It’d only been four hours, but it felt more like eight. She nodded, “good.”

“That it? Just good?”

“It was an hour. What do you expect?”

“I don’t know. You usually know after an hour if you click with someone.”

“I think we clicked.”

“You think you did? You don’t know?”

“I’m out of practice with the clicking. If clicking means that I enjoyed his company and there weren’t any awkward silences, then yes, we clicked. If clicking means I was ready to have hot sex with him on park bench, then no, we didn’t click.”

His eyes glazed over for a minute and she wondered where he’d gone before he snapped his attention back to her. “Uh, yeah. So, did he ask about Nate?”

“Yeah, he asked how he was doing. Why?”

“Because if he didn’t ask how Nate was then it would appear that he doesn’t care how the little tyke is doing after being sick. That would just be wrong.”

She nodded slowly, “I see your logic there.”

“Did you ask him what his favorite movie was?”

She frowned, “no.”

“Buffy, you’re slacking.”

“You said it was a superficial question!”

“I changed my mind. I think you were right, it can tell you how deep a person is. I mean, if his favorite movie is, say, Starsky and Hutch, then he’s not very deep. However, if his favorite movie is say, American Beauty, then he’s a thinker.”

Buffy gave him a ‘are you kidding me?’ look. “Spike, MY favorite movie is Starsky and Hutch. Doesn’t mean I’m shallow, does it? No. Besides, it is a superficial question that ultimately doesn’t mean anything. So I’m not ‘slacking’. I’m just changing my tactics.”

“To?”

“I don’t know. It’s been one date!”

“I think you should have a way to guage whether or not he’s a good guy, Buffy.”

“And the fact that’s he’s my nephew’s pediatrician which means he loves children is not good enough?”

“Nope. Doesn’t mean he’s a good guy. That could just be a cover.”

“A cover for what?”

“He could be a serial killer. Luring young, good-looking SINGLE woman, just as yourself back to his apartment and then going Dahmer on them.”
“You know what I think?”

“What’s that?”

“I think you have WAY too much time on your hands.”

“I’m serious Buffy.”
“I know, that’s what frightening. Spike, I went out on ONE date in which he was a perfect gentleman and I had a good time. I can’t make big decisions about him after one date. If you like, you could babysit Nate for me and that could aid me in deciding.”
“I’ll do it. If it’ll help you—wait, how is my babysitting Nate helping you decide if Angel’s a good guy?”
Buffy grinned as she made her way to her locker, “that way I can have a real date with him, not just an hour. Thank you, Uncle Spike!”

Spike let his head drop with a thud on the bar. He felt someone suddenly rubbing the back of his head. He looked up to see Andrew. “It’s okay tiny dancer,” the young man assured him.





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