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Chapter Three: After Living It



They started up the walkway and tentavily stepped inside.
Dawn helped her change her clothes because Buffys hands still hurt.
There was a loud banging noise downstairs and they both looked in that direction.

“What was that?” Buffy asked alert.

“It’s Spike” Dawn said excitedly

“DAWN! DAWN! ARE YOU THERE?” Spike yelled from down the stairs

“I’m here!” Dawn yelled back, running off down the hall in the direction of the stairs.

Buffys breath caught in her throat and she stood frozen in place. This was her chance. To make things better. And Spike was alive. She checked the mirror to take one last look at her hair. She noticed not all of her buttons had been done up and she quickly did them and started for the stairs.

“Thank God. You scared me have to death…or more to death. You- I could kill you” Spike told Dawn pointedly

“Spike” Dawn tried to interrupt

“I mean it. I could rip your head one-handed and drink from your brain stem” Spike continued

Dawn smiles at Spike and he finally notices something’s up. Buffy appears at the top of the stairs.

“Look” Dawn says pointing to Buffy

“Yea? I’ve seen the bloody bot before. Didn’t think she’d patch up so-“ he broke off realizing it wasn’t the robot. He looked back to Dawn alarmed
“You-What did you do?” he croaked out

“Me? Nothing” Dawn told him

Spike looked back to Buffy, noticing her bleeding hands
“Her hands” he pointed out

“I was gonna fix em” Dawn defended

Spike couldn’t take his eyes off of Buffy and he looked like he was gonna pass out.

“Spike are you ok?” Dawn asked worried

“Had to claw he way out of her grave then?” he asked knowingly

Buffy nodded solemnly, still unable to form words.

Something snapped in him and he reached out
“We’ll take care of you. Come on” he guided Buffy into the living room, only stopping once to look back to Dawn
“Get some stuff uh, mercurochrome, bandages.”

Dawn nodded and went to leave to get said supplies but stopped short. Remembering that at any moment the scoobies would barge in. she quickly looked to the door and locked it. She smiled to herself and left to get the supplies.

Buffy sat on the couch across from Spike. He took her hands in his and held them as if they were glass, and he would break them if he held on too tight. She looked up to meet his eyes and he smiled weakly at her.
“Thank you” she said, her voice almost inaudible.
Spike reeled. His emotions were on all on time high. He nodded in response, not being able to find words.
They stared at each other for a beat.
“How long was I gone?” she asked, she knew the answer, but she wanted to hear him say it. To see the look of happiness on his face when he said it.

“Hundred-forty seven days yesterday. Uh, hundred-forty eight today, ‘Cept today doesn’t count, does it?” he says smiling a little.

She smiles back shyly

“How long was it for you… Where you were?” he asked

Buffy looked down, she wasn’t ready to tell them yet, but she knew if she wanted to change things, she was going to have to.

Dawn came in then with the supplies and Spike took them and began to dress her wounds. He stopped halfway through and sat up abruptly, obviously sensing something. “I should go, Family reunion and all” he said moving toward the door.

“Spike wait!” Buffy called after him

Spike stopped, his hand on the doorknob and looked back to meet her eyes.

“Thank you” she said

He nodded and moved to open the door only to find it locked. He frowned. He didn’t remember locking the door. He unlocked it and opened it, only to be bombarded by the gang rushing past him inside the house. He rolled his eyes. Tara was the last to come inside and she smiled weakly in apology. He nodded to her and left.

The gang rushed at her at once
WILLOW: Is she here?
ANYA: She's here!
WILLOW: You're here.
XANDER: We didn't know where you were.
ANYA: You ran away.
WILLOW: Buffy!
TARA: Are you okay?
Buffy tried to pay attention to all of them at once, but came up completely lost.
ANYA: You're not a zombie, are you?
XANDER: Anya!
WILLOW: Are you in pain?
XANDER: What do you remember?
TARA: What do you know about what happened?
Buffy looked at them and started to laugh. They all stared at her shocked and waited for her to finish.
“Guys, I’m fine” she told them
“Did you really have to dig out of your coffin?” Anya asked interested
“…I”
“It’s ok Buff, you don’t have to talk about it” Xander said “Hey do you want something? Anything. Pizza. I’ll get you Pizza”
“Buffy like’s pizza” Anya piped up
“Yea something to eat-“ Tara agreed
Willow looked at them “She doesn’t want pizza.”
“I just meant” Tara began
“Guys!” Buffy interrupted, forcing them to look back at her. “I think I just want to go to bed” she told them. They nodded in understanding and Buffy started up the stairs.
Once she was gone Willow looked at the group desperately “She seemed fine, she used to go to bed all the time!” she pointed out defensively
“I’m sure she just needs time honey” Tara assured her
Dawn smiled at the group. She’d never thought she’d see Xander with two eyes ever again. Her eyes then locked with Tara’s and she smiled.
She’d been the one to find her when she’d… but she wasn’t gonna let that happen this time. There was a knock at the door and everyone jumped. Dawn frowned. This did not happen the last time. She opened the door to reveal Andrew and Jonathon.
“Andrew?” she asked unbelievingly
“Hey” Andrew beamed relieved
Jonathon looked pointedly at Andrew “Isn’t that Buffys sister? Why are we at Buffys house?” he whispered
Xander stepped up behind Dawn “You know them?” he asked her
Dawn nodded “Yea, we um…school” she said. She met Andrews eyes ‘you too?’ she mouthed.
He nodded.
Willow came up behind Xander “Jonathon?” she asked shocked
“Wait, wasn’t he in the Matrix?” Xander asked
_____________________________________________________________
Buffy went straight to her room and shut her door. She tip-toed to the window and opened it. She climbed out and smiled to herself. This was a skill highly developed in her younger years and she was hell bent to forget it. She made it to the overhang and jumped the rest of the way down. She stood up and dusted herself off before taking off in the direction she intended to go. She heard noises at the front door and looked to seen Andrew and Jonathon there, talking to Dawn. She groaned, she had forgotten all about Andrew, but maybe this was a good thing, without Andrew and Jonathon Warren wasn’t a threat. She hadn’t been looking forward to a second round of the-nerds-stalk-Buffy-and-screw-up-her-life. She hid from their view behind her front tree. That’s when her senses picked something up. Something familiar. She peeked over to the other side of the tree.
“Spike?” she whispered shocked.
Spike jumped and turned around quickly wiping his face of the tears that had been falling uncontrollably. He narrowed his eyes at her
“Buffy what are you…?”
“Where you crying?” Buffy asked surprised
“What?! NO!” Spike defended.
Buffy looked to the front porch to see if anyone had heard his outburst and ‘Shushed’ him. To the looks of it no one had. She looked back to Spike knowingly, daring him to tell her the truth.
Spike sighed and looked heavenward “Maybe a little” he mumbled.
Buffy smiled, not that she thought it was funny that Spike was crying, just the fact that he was, for her. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around all of his millions emotions that vampires weren’t even supposed to feel. But he proved her wrong. She tugged at his sleeve and started heading toward the cemetery.
Spike was confused to say the least. Not only was Buffy talking to him, but she was taking him with her wherever she planned to go. Not that he was complaining, he just didn’t really understand.
“Your little scoobies don’t know you’re gone, do they?” he asked her suspiciously
Buffy kept walking “No…” she said guiltily “But they’ll be ok” she assured.
They walked in silence for a few moments.
“Are you ok?” Spike asked looking at her with concern. He didn’t know anything about hell other than the fact he wasn’t there when he should be. He didn’t know about dimensions and he didn’t know where Buffy had been trapped for all this time. He didn’t really want to know, but he cared about her well being and all that rot.
Buffy sighed and glanced over her shoulder at him, not answering.
_____________________________________________________________
Dawn let Andrew and Jonathon inside, with reluctance from the rest of the group. Andrew and Jonathon pledged to help out where they were needed and Andrew supplied information about Warren. Jonathon was a little angry that Warren had told Andrew all of this stuff and not him. But to the sounds of what Andrew was telling him, he was glad he hadn’t known.
Dawn told them they could stay in the basement and the gang had gone their separate ways. Willow and Tara to their room and Xander and Anya to their apartment. Jonathon and Andrew set up camp in the basement, calling it their new ‘Lair’ and Dawn had gone upstairs. She opened Buffys door and really wasn’t that surprised her sister wasn’t occupying it. She went over to the window and closed it, and then she went to the bed and without changing got under the covers. There she could finally sleep.
_____________________________________________________________
Buffy and Spike walked silently to the graveyard. Once they reached it Buffy sat down on a stone bench close to Spikes crypt and Spike sat next to her.
“Listen” Buffy began “I’m fine, really, it’s just… there’s a lot of stuff going on right now”
Spike nodded “If you ever need anything…”
“I know” Buffy said smiling slightly at him.
They stared at each other for a beat.
“Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her.” Spike began “If I had done that ... even if I didn't make it ... you wouldn't have had to jump.”
“Spike…”
“But I want you to know I did save you.” Spike continued “Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ...” he looks into her eyes “Every night I save you.”
Buffy took his hand in hers and smiled “I know”
_____________________________________________________________
Dawn jumped out of sleep when the door burst open.
“Where’s Buffy?” Willow asked
Dawn rubbed her eyes “I don’t know, I think she went patrolling”
“So she’s not here?” Willow asked desperately
“No… Why?”
“But she was here, she was yelling… Didn’t you hear it?” Willow asked
Oh god! Dawn groaned that stupid ghost they made. She hated that thing.
“What did it say?” Dawn asked calmly
“I didn’t really understand it” Willow started but a scream from the other room cut her off.
“TARA!” Willow yelled rushing for her bedroom, Dawn ran after her and they stopped in the doorway.
“There’s something in the house” Tara told them pointing to the wall it had just been occupied at.
“Ok, call Xander and Anya, tell them to get over here, I’ll go find Buffy and we’ll figure it” she resolved. She went to grab her coat but Willow stopped her
“Dawnie, maybe you shouldn’t go alone, I mean…”
“I’m not old enough?” Dawn filled in sarcastically, heading down the stairs and for the door “Trust me, I haven’t forgotten”
Willow and Tara glanced at her retreating form, not knowing what to think.
____________________________________________________________
Buffy snuggled deeper into the covers. She reached over, only to find no one there. She sat up abruptly, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She looked to the end of the bed and made out a chair, and then a form in the chair.
“Was wonderin when you’d wake up” Spike told her, getting up to light some candles
Buffy rubbed her eyes “Thanks for not waking me”
“Well, you were pretty beat” Spike pointed out “Willows getting pretty powerful, can’t get a good nights death around here” he said trying to get a response
Buffy snorted “Yea, well, that power is going to get her into trouble if she keeps using it like she is”
Spike sat back down in the chair and narrowed his eyes at her
“Like how?” he asked
Buffy reeled, had she said that out loud? She might as well give him the truth.
“I um, I wasn’t in…hell” Buffy said
He shook his head not understanding
“I, I think I was in heaven” she told him
His face grew grim with concern and then anger
“But it wasn’t their fault” she defended “They didn’t know, they couldn’t have known”
He got up angrily
Buffy reached out to grab his hand
“But I’m glad I’m back” she told him
He looked at her confused
“Second chanced and all” she explained
He nodded and sat back down.
She smiled at him and removed her hand but he grabbed it back and held it.
She smiled at him and then a thought hit her. That stupid ghost was showing up any minute.
“I have to go” she said standing up and running for the ladder.
He should’ve known she was only treating him nice out of pity. Right when he tried to get closer to her she drew further away. He shook his head and got up to go to bed when he heard something behind him. He turned around to see Buffy jump back down from the ladder and walk over to him quickly, he looked at her in surprise but before he could say anything she was kissing him. And as quickly as it began it ended and she was back up the ladder and out of his crypt. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Had he just imagined that? His lips still felt warm and he realized then that he hadn’t. He smiled, maybe he was wrong.
_____________________________________________________________
“Buffy!” Dawn called out from the entrance of the graveyard. Buffy ran over to her confused
“Has it already happened?” she asked
“Yep, the ghostie attacked Tara and Willow, I told them to call Xand and Anya and I’d come and get you” Dawn said as they began their jog back home.
Buffy smiled “What did they have to say about that?” she asked
“I’m too young, bladi blah blah” she replied giggling.
They were almost to their house
“Lets just get this over with” Buffy said “There’s school tomorrow”
Dawn stopped “Do I haveta?!” she whined
“Yes!” Buffy said reaching the house and barreling through the door
Willow, Tara, Anya and Xander stood up from their seats on the couch.
“Willow, Tara, I need a spell, make this thing corporeal” Buffy said
“But how do we know that’s what were supposed to do? We don’t even know what…” Willow began
“Just trust me” Buffy said, she looked to Xander “Grab some weapons, stay alert” she said heading over to her weapons chest. She looked at it with disgust; she hadn’t gotten the new one from Xander yet. She’d just have to wait. She pulled out and axe and twirled it in her hands before heading up stairs.
_____________________________________________________________
“So she just knew?” Willow asked the group that had formed around the magic box “It just doesn’t make sense”
“What doesn’t make sense?” Buffy asked walking in
“Nothing, just um” Xander struggled for a cover, he held up a book “Words…” he looked around helplessly.
“Words are a lot of trouble for Xander” Anya piped in.
He smiled at her
Buffy seemed skeptical but she let it go.
“So, um, there’s something I need to say” Buffy began
“Did you get Dawn off to school alright?” Tara asked worriedly
“Yea, she’s, she’s there, um, this is more about me…” she continued “This is hard, so I’m just gonna say it”
The group listened with concern
“You brought me back; I was in, um…heaven”
Willow gasped and Tara leaned into comfort her
“But I’m ok, I’m-I’m glad you did… What you did” she told them truthfully
Willow came forward “Buffy I didn’t know” she chocked out
“I know, you couldn’t have known… but that’s not the point” she said stepping closer to Willow “I’m fine, heaven was um… heaven” she said looking at everyone around the room “But being here with you guys” she looked to Anya and Tara “All of you…it’s better” she said smiling a little
“…Buffy” Willow sobbed moving to embrace her friend. Xander joined in, followed by Anya and Tara.
__________________________________________________________
Buffy closed the door behind her and stepped out side.
“Buffy” Spike greeted
Buffy looked up and smiled.
“Spike”
She walked over to the crates
“I was gonna go in, but I heard you and the super-friends exchanging a special moment and I came over a bit queasy” he joked
She looks up at him
“Jealous?” she teases
“Not really a group kinda guy” he told her smiling, he sat down next to her
“I told them” Buffy said looking at the ground
“How’d they take it?” Spike asked
“Pretty good actually” she said
“Bloody idiots they are” Spike said through clenched teeth
“Would it be wrong of me to agree with you?” she asked. She was glad she was back sure, but if she had a choice in the matter, she wished they hadn’t have done it.
Spike looked over at her and shook his head.
They sat in silence for a bit longer
“I’m glad you’re here” Buffy told him, her voice barely audible
Spike narrowed his eyes at her “Could say the same about you” he told her, obviously surprised she’d want him anywhere near her.
She smiled at him
“Yea”

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A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! Please keep em coming!
XOXO
-Anne





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