Chapter 10 – Bonding


The next day, Buffy accepted Angel’s invitation to go out to dinner, even though Spike protested strongly against it.

‘I could handle him much easier when he wasn’t in the picture so much,’ Spike thought, watching Buffy scour through her closet for clothes to wear while he sat on her bed.

“What do you think about this dress?” Buffy asked, holding up a light lavender sundress.

“It’s nice,” he answered, shrugging. She frowned, sighed exasperatedly, and looked at him.

“You’ve called everything I’ve shown you ‘nice’,” she said. “You’re supposed to be helping me.”

‘Why would I help you look beautiful for him?’ Spike thought bitterly. ‘I don’t want him to be with you.’ She went back to her closet and pulled out a black skirt and a red blouse. ‘And she picks out my favorite colors- brilliant.’

“That will work,” Spike said, standing up and walking down the stairs, not willing to subject himself to watching her primp more for a date, considering he didn’t support it in the slightest.

Spike had called Xander to come over, hoping that his friend would keep him from killing Angel. Also, a part of him kind of hoped that Angel would make the mistake of saying something discriminatory about homosexuals, thus getting more evidence against the nancyboy.

‘Then I’d have an even better reason to punch him,’ Spike thought, sitting on the couch with Xander. This thought brought a smile to Spike’s face. They were watching a football game when Angel arrived. They watched Buffy come out of the bathroom, looking just as gorgeous as she always had. Both men let out a sigh as she went to the door, looking excited. ‘I wish she’d be that excited to see me.’

She opened the door and smiled up at Angel. “Hey.”

“Hey, Buffy,” he replied, handing her a bouquet of daisies. She looked at them, surprised.

“Daisies are my favorite,” she said. “Thank you.” He smiled at her and watched as she put them in a vase. Both men on the couch looked at each other, obviously displeased with the fact that Angel was trying to charm her. Spike was grateful that Xander was there. His friend was starting to look at Buffy as a little sister and, luckily, didn’t like Angel anymore than Spike did.

Buffy looked at Spike and Xander. ‘Why do I feel so uncomfortable about having them here? Alone, especially?’ she asked herself. ‘Perhaps it’s because you’d rather be here alone with him.’ She sighed and tried to clear her head.

“Well, we’re heading out,” she said. Spike looked at her and nodded, trying to mask how he felt. “We’ll see you two later. Have good night.”

“You too, luv,” Spike replied, averting his eyes as he clenched his jaw slightly. Buffy and Angel left the apartment, and Xander looked at Spike.

“I can see why you hate him, man,” he said. “There’s got to be some way of getting Buffy to see that she shouldn’t be with him.” Spike nodded and sank down on the couch. “I wouldn’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

‘I just hope it isn’t too late when we do,’ Spike thought sadly, running a hand through his hair.

* * * * *

Buffy and Angel showed up at the restaurant that she and Spike had been to a couple of nights before. Angel must’ve noticed the look on her face because he instantly frowned.

“If you don’t like this place, we can go somewhere else,” he quickly offered. She looked at him.

“No, I love this place,” she said, managing a small smile. “Let’s go in and eat.”

They got out of the car and went inside, being seated in a booth. As it turned out, it was the same one she and Spike had occupied.

‘This is starting to be weird,’ she thought, opening her menu. ‘I feel like I’m disrespecting Spike by being here. Almost like I’m cheating on him, but that’s just silly. I mean really, how many restaurants are there in this town? It’s not like we have a whole lot of options.’ She paused. ‘Maybe sitting in this booth is an omen. Of what, I don’t exactly know, but this all feels incredibly strange.’

“Is everything okay?” Angel asked, looking at her. She nodded and looked at her menu.

‘How come I don’t exactly believe her?’ he thought to himself, trying to brush off the insecurities he was feeling.

After ordering and getting their wine, Angel filled their glasses and suggested he propose a toast.

‘Well, that’s kind of romantic,’ she thought, raising her glass to his.

“May this relationship last and grow into something more,” he said, and she tapped her glass against his, drinking some of the Merlot.

‘And may I stop lusting after Spike,’ she thought, putting down the glass and looking at Angel.

* * * * *

A couple of hours later, Spike was happy to see that Buffy had returned and that Angel didn’t come in with her. She put her keys and purse down before going over to Spike and sitting beside him on the couch.

“Hey,” she said, looking somewhat tired. “Xander already left?” Spike nodded, looking at her.

“How did the date go?” he asked, trying his best to keep his tone neutral.

“It went great,” she smiled softly, curling up. “He’s a really nice guy.” Spike frowned. “And I know you don’t like him, but I…I enjoy spending time with him.”

“Your mum doesn’t seem to fancy him too much either,” he said. She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “When we were washing dishes last night, she mentioned how she didn’t really think Angel was your type.” Buffy sat up quickly, crossing her arms.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said that to her,’ he thought, his eyes widening slightly, noticing how defensive she became suddenly.

“Angel’s a great guy, and I don’t think it’s her place to say he isn’t my type,” she said sternly. “She doesn’t even know what my type is. I like Angel, and I’m not going to stop seeing him because you two don’t like him.”

“Not to burst your bubble, pet, but I’d say your mum knows your type,” Spike replied. “Give her some credit- she was the one who raised you and saw who you brought home during your teenage years. Parents know a lot more about their kids than their children think they do. And I’d have to agree with her that I don’t think he’s your type at all.” Buffy stood up and straightened out her skirt.

“You don’t know my type either, Spike,” she said. “You haven’t been around long enough to know, so don’t judge my choices on who I date. Okay?” Spike stood up and looked at her, their eyes locking.

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” he said, choosing not to start an argument with her.

“I’ll be fine,” she replied, trying to lose the defensive edge to her voice. “Good night.” She walked away and went up to her room. Spike sighed and sat back down on the couch, resting his head on the back of the couch and shutting his eyes.

'What would she do if she knew I was straight?' he asked himself. 'Would she ditch him and be with me instead?' He clenched his fists. 'You're the reason she's not with you, mate. You should've told her the truth right away, and maybe you wouldn't be in this mess right now.'

* * * * *

Buffy tossed and turned in her bed later that night, sleep continually
eluding her. She felt guilty about what she’d said to Spike a few hours
before. It wasn’t fair for her to have told him that he hadn’t been around
long enough to know her. He knew her better than anyone.

Buffy sighed, climbing out of her bed, and wrapped her arms around herself,
warding off the chill of the drafty apartment. She padded down the stairs,
not bothering to notice that she was only wearing a sports bra and a pair of
short shorts. All of the lights were turned off, so Buffy headed down the
short hallway to his bedroom.

She knocked lightly, not really expecting an answer as she pushed the door
open. The moonlight streamed through the window, bathing Spike in a blue
and silver glow as he peacefully slept.

Buffy felt her stomach clench as she, once again, thought of the hurtful
things she had said to a man who had done nothing more than acted as her
friend. Crossing the room, Buffy crawled into bed with him, scooting closer
to the warmth of his body until she was cuddled against his bare chest, her
leg brushing against the soft fabric of his sweatpants as Spike stirred in
his sleep.

“Buffy?” he asked in a hoarse whisper, trying to wake up a little more.
“What’s wrong, luv?”

Buffy looked up, her eyes meeting his, and Spike frowned at the pain that he
saw there.

“Tell me,” he whispered, pulling her closer when he felt how cool her skin
was.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said softly. “About earlier…it wasn’t fair to you.”

“What’s that, pet?” he asked drowsily.

“When I said that you didn’t know me. You’re my best friend, Spike, and I
don’t want you mad at me.”

Spike gave her a tender smile, letting his hand trail over her arm and up to
her face, brushing the hair away from her eyes. “Don’t worry about it,” he
said quietly, never breaking eye contact with her.

“Can I stay here tonight?” she asked, the innocence of her simple question
causing Spike’s heart to flip.

“Of course you can stay here,” he whispered, smiling as she snuggled into
his chest.

Buffy sighed in contentment when she felt his lips brush over the top of her
head. ‘Why does this feel so right?’ she asked herself as her hand lightly
played along the strong muscles of his chest. ‘Why do I have the feeling
that every man I meet will be compared to this man?’

Buffy sighed again, this time in frustration.

“Something else bothering you?” Spike asked, frowning when Buffy shook her
head. He wasn’t about to be fooled by that. “Tell me, Buffy.”

Buffy kept her head where it was against his chest, avoiding his eyes as she
spoke. “Why don’t you like Angel?”

Spike tensed slightly, licking his lips as he thought of an unbiased
response to her question. “Bad vibes, I guess.”

“You don’t think I’m safe with him?” she asked, propping her head up on his
chest as she looked into his eyes.

Spike gently played with a strand of hair, letting it fall through his
fingers before picking it up again, enjoying the feel of the silky locks.
“If I didn’t think you were safe, I would never let you go out with him
alone,” he whispered honestly, trying to convey his emotions through his
eyes.

Buffy felt tears shimmer in her eyes at the tenderness in his voice. “You
really do care about me, don’t you?”

“You know I do,” Spike whispered in a husky voice, feeling his heartbeat
speed up as Buffy leaned forward to leave a gentle kiss on his lips.

The kiss was a little longer than the one they had shared the night before,
but it was just as sweet. Spike felt a slight panic fill him as Buffy began
to pull away, his hands coming up to lace through her hair, pulling her lips
back to his in a more passionate kiss.

Buffy gasped into his mouth as his tongue slipped past her lips, dueling
with hers as his hands held her in place. She quickly made herself forget
all of the reasons why this shouldn’t be happening and lost herself in the
kiss, moaning when Spike rolled them, their lips never separating as he
settled himself on top of her.

Buffy’s hands ran up the defined muscles of his arms, to thread through his
hair, holding him to her as the kiss deepened. Spike felt as if a fire was
burning inside of him as his hands wandered her body, relishing the soft
curves under his fingertips.

He could feel his muscles tense as her body arched beneath his, causing his
already painfully hard erection to grow even larger. He couldn’t stop the
natural response to push back against her, letting his hands leave her body
to fist in the sheets next to her head, trying to control his raging
emotions.

Their lips stayed firmly locked as they slowly moved together, moaning as
their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly, even with the few layers of
clothing that still separated them.

Slowly breaking away, Spike’s lips trailed down her throat, swirling his
tongue along her collarbone and eliciting a moan before moving back up to
meet her lips again. He pulled back for a moment to catch his breath,
realizing his mistake when Buffy’s eyes widened as she realized what they
were doing.

“Oh my God,” she whispered, her expression one of shock.

Spike immediately rolled off of her, not wanting her to think he was going
to force her into something. Buffy sat up, her heart pounding from a
mixture of lust and embarrassment as she realized what just happened.

Spike watched, still in too much shock to do anything, as Buffy climbed out
of the bed and hurriedly left the room. He felt his stomach drop as he
flopped back onto the bed, looking at the ceiling.

“Bloody hell.”





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