Chapter 29 – Changing Courses



William lay in her arms with his head nestled against her breasts. Absently, Buffy played with the riotous curls adorning his head while he slept. A part of her was still angry that her husband wasn’t fighting for the truth, but her heart was screaming that her relationship with Spike was more important than the past. Eventually everything would come out. Nothing could remain hidden forever, especially not in Hollywood. She just needed to do what she could to hold onto their marriage.

“You’re awake,” William mumbled, rubbing her tummy and arching his hips closer to her leg.

“Yeah, I’ve been awake awhile.” Buffy smiled in the semi-darkness of the room. They’d had the forethought to close the curtains some time in the moments of getting into bed. Otherwise, the creeping dawn would have kept them awake. Her hand drifted along William’s back. “You okay?”

“Fine, pet, fine.”

“I heard Tara downstairs, but I didn’t want to disturb you.”

William lifted his head, arching one eyebrow while a grin stretched slowly across his face. “So, no shagging this morning?”

“Nope.” After everything they’d gone through in the last twenty-fours, it didn’t seem right that he would want sex. No more talking or planning, no apologies for his friends, just ‘let’s get back to our old routine’. She wondered if he thought it would go away if they never talked about Drusilla again. Slipping from his arms, she realized that William would definitely think that way. Pushing it away was the way he dealt with everything unpleasant in his life. “Sleep longer if you want to, I’ll go down and spend some time with Tara.”

William nodded, flipping onto his back and putting his hands behind his head. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Buffy said, picking her robe up off the chair. She smiled. “Get used to it, buddy. It’s not going anywhere.”

“Thank you.”

They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds before she waved and headed for the downstairs. Her mind was already making a list of the things she needed to do. The first priority was finding out if she was pregnant or not. If so, it would change everything in their lives. Maybe it would be the catalyst Spike needed to make her and their family a priority. At least, she hoped it would be, since she promised that she wouldn’t snoop anymore…a decision she hoped she wouldn’t regret.

Tara was sitting on the living room couch with her feet tucked beneath her bottom. She was holding a steaming cup of something, most likely tea, while she read the newspaper. Tara’s presence almost made everything happening with her husband and his pals seem like a horrible nightmare that didn’t really exist. A surreal dream, barely remembered in the waking hours.

“Good morning,” Buffy said, taking a seat in the chair near her friend. “Did you sleep well?”

“Better than you,” Tara turned so she was facing Buffy. “Is everything all right?”

“You heard us fighting?” Buffy didn’t need an answer as she stared down at her hands. She was embarrassed at all that had occurred in front of Tara. The spectacle of Xander kissing her husband, the fight afterwards, and even her knowing everything about the marriage that was supposed to be a fairy tale come true. “I’m sorry that I dragged you into the middle of my life.”

“Isn’t that what friends are for?”

Tara’s tone was gentle, and compassionate, but it only made Buffy feel worse.
She was still a newlywed. This should be a time of happiness and endless passion. Instead, it was a game of cat and mouse with her husband’s best friend. Xander was doing everything he could to drive her away from William. Buffy was almost tempted to run away before things got any more complicated. It would be a relief to be out of the limelight and give up fighting for the love of her husband, much less worry about a baby she wasn’t even sure she was carrying.

“You’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had,” Buffy said honestly. She chuckled. “I don’t think my mother could have handled this life I’m living. She would freak out about the money we spend, the parties we go to, and the whole thing.” Buffy waved her hand in the air. “It’s good to have someone to talk to that’s real.”

“I’ll say thank you since I’m assuming that’s a compliment.”

“Of course it is.” Buffy played with the hem of her robe. “I need to find an ob/gyn.” She lowered her voice after a glance upstairs. “I might be pregnant.”

“Oh Buffy, that’s wonderful.”

Looking back up at her friend, Buffy was elated to see that Tara’s enthusiasm was genuine. It made her relax enough to let a little joy infuse with the thought of actually being pregnant. Her hand rested on her lower stomach as her smile grew. She could be carrying a child created in a love that couldn’t be denied. No matter how many people wanted it to go away. There was no way William would let anyone or anything hurt his child. Of this much Buffy was certain.

~~~~~~~~~~

Xander groaned. Everything hurt.

“Here.” Cordelia’s voice ripped into his head like a dull knife cutting his brain into tiny pieces. “Xander.” This time it was an order, and he forced his eyes open. She was standing over him with a glass he was sure was filled with liquor and in her hand a nice little pain pill that would make the day a little easier to accept.

“Thanks baby.”

Cordelia sat on the edge of the bed. As always, she was immaculately groomed and dressed in an Anne Klein outfit. After all these years, he still wasn’t sure how she managed to be able to look so gorgeous and function so well even when she hadn’t gotten to bed until four am.

“Stay home today,” Cordelia ordered, taking back the glass he drained of every drop of vodka. “You look like shit and we can’t afford any talk concerning us.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Xander didn’t really want to go anywhere anyway. He slid further down on the silk sheets and leaned his head on one hand that rested on his pillow. Staying in bed sounded like an excellent idea. The previous evening hadn’t gone as he’d wanted. Spike just wasn’t letting go of the little brat he’d married. Xander just didn’t understand why, but he wasn’t ready to give up yet. He just needed to formulate a new plan. A day in bed would give him the opportunity to do just that.

Cordelia pointed at him, shaking it in admonishment. “Don’t call Spike either. It will just make you look clingy and uncertain about what you did. Let him stew for a couple of days.” She smiled demurely. “He’ll call you. He always does.”

Xander grabbed her hand, kissing the palm to let her know how much he appreciated her advice. “You’re right.” He sighed, and then added with a whine. “I just wish that little bitch would go away for good. Playing friends with her didn’t help.”

“Have dinner with me tonight and we’ll figure something out.” Before Xander could respond, Cordelia’s cell phone rang. They both looked at it, and one perfect brow on her face rose in confusion. “Hello?” She pointed at the phone and mouthed, “Buffy” to him.

Xander sat up again, leaning close, hoping to overhear some of what Buffy was saying.

“Of course,” Cordelia said. “Hold on for just one second.”

She stood and headed for the dresser where her date book rested on top. Flipping through the pages, Cordelia murmured a few noises of agreement and compassion. “Here it is. You ready, Buffy?” A slight pause and then she continued. “Her name is Willow Rosenberg and her number is 555-2121. Let the person who answers know that you’re a friend of mine and they’ll get you in right away.”

“What the hell was that about?” Xander asked. He was sitting up and impatient to hear why Buffy wanted the name of Cordelia’s gynecologist. A sick feeling went through him. “Oh my god, please tell me she’s not knocked up.”

“She says it’s because she needs to get on the pill,” Cordelia said, crossing her arms with one toe pointed. She shrugged. “I don’t know if she was telling the truth, but don’t worry. I’ll call later today and ask Harmony what it was all about.”

“Call me as soon as you know,” Xander said, crashing back against his pillow.

If Buffy had managed to get pregnant, then there would no way he’d ever break them up. Unless, of course, she had an accident. Maybe fell down those steep stairs in their penthouse.

“Stop making plans,” Cordelia whispered, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “We don’t know yet. Could be she has a nasty case of VD or something. Tonight we’ll make some decisions and figure out how to get our Spikey back to our side.”

Xander squeezed her breast as he felt his cock stir in excited anticipation. God, he loved his wife. She was an amazing woman and he was lucky to have gotten her to marry him. One day, he assured himself, one day he would share a bed with Cordelia and Spike. His life would be complete, and he would finally be happy. Yes, it would happen. He was sure of that as long as Cordelia was on his side.

~~~~~~

“Did she buy it?” Tara asked.

“I doubt it,” Buffy said, turning to her friend. They were sitting on the terrace where they had some privacy from prying ears. Although, Will was still in bed, she didn’t want to risk him overhearing. “She’s probably running through all the scenarios right now. I have to tell Will today, one way or another, because if I don’t then she’ll make sure he’ll know about it. Wish me luck on getting an appointment.”

Tara squeezed her hand while she dialed the number for Dr. Rosenberg’s office. If nothing else then she could be confident that Cordelia would give her the name of someone who was discreet with information. Cordelia wouldn’t let just anyone be privy to the most intimate details of her life.

“Dr. Rosenberg’s office. This is Harmony, how may I help you?”

“Yes, this is Mrs. Nagle. I wanted to make an appointment as soon as possible.”

“Let me get your chart. Hold on, please.”

Buffy tried to tell the young woman she wouldn’t find a chart for her in the files, but Harmony was already gone. She tapped her fingernails on the table while she waited for the receptionist to return. Any moment Will could come out and then she would have to tell him before she was ready.

“Mrs. Nagle,” Harmony said, coming back on the line. “It’s been awhile since you’ve been to see us.” Buffy heard paper rustling. “How is the baby? He must be getting big.”

“Baby? I’ve never been to see Dr. Rosenberg before,” Buffy protested, and then froze as she realized what Harmony had done. She must have pulled Drusilla’s chart. “I’m sorry – you must be talking about my husband’s first wife. I’m Buffy Nagle.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Harmony said. “You should have said so before I got the chart.”

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. She wanted to snap that she wasn’t given a chance, but she didn’t want to make Harmony angry until after she got an appointment. “Cordelia Chase Harris suggested I call. I need to see a doctor right away.”

“Of course. Dr. Rosenberg is quite busy, but let me see what I can do for you.” The sound of clicking keys came through the receiver. “Mrs. Nagle, there was a cancellation this morning. Can you be here in an hour?”

“Yes, yes, I can,” Buffy rushed out before the offer could be taken away. “Where are you located?”

She carefully wrote the directions down before hanging up the phone. Relief and worry were fighting for domination of the stronger emotion. She rubbed her forehead, and then sighed. At least in a couple of hours she would know for sure if she was pregnant or not. She only prayed that she was, because it would seal her marriage to Will. He would be ecstatic to find out he was going to be a Daddy.

If she wasn’t, she would still have to tell him about the doctor’s visit and the reason why she went. Maybe if she wasn’t, then she could talk him into trying. Perhaps even persuade to go to the doctor himself to prove that he was capable of fathering a child even if he wasn’t ready to try. Shaking her head, she stood. One thing at a time, she told herself. No reason to plan the entire war when she only needed to get through this battle.

“I have an appointment in an hour,” Buffy said, looking down at her friend. “Will you go with me?”

“Yes, of course I will,” Tara said, nodding.

At least, she wouldn’t have to go it alone. Buffy headed back into the house to tell Will she had to go out. She only hoped he wouldn’t ask too many questions. ‘No more lies’ was the promise, and she would keep it even if she wasn’t totally forthcoming with the truth. A technicality she wasn’t very comfortable with, but one that was necessary for her to figure out how to proceed.


to be continued…





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