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Song by Madonna. "I Deserve it" Left out one line in the song b/c I felt it didn't fit. . .


Chapter Eighteen
It'd been a month. A whole month of talking, connecting, moving, laughing.
A whole month of building up the sexual tension until they could barely stand next to each other without groping at the other like a couple of hormone-crazed teenagers. So, with that in mind Buffy had made the decision that tonight was the night. She knew Spike had been ready for a while now and was waiting for her. She loved him all the more for his patience with her. She knew at first they'd both been filled with trepidation on the idea of having sex – making love as Spike always referred to it as when speaking of them – but now he was ready. She could tell in the way his hands roamed just that much more, the way he started lustfully at her when they were in the middle of a makeout session and simply because he'd told her he was ready.

So, as she got ready for the bands gig, she planned that tonight would be
the night. After the show they'd go to her place to unwind and . . . well, she
actually didn't have a plan beyond that. Was that bad to not have a plan?
Shouldn't she have a plan for their first time after ten years? Cripes.

"You're thinking about something very hard." Spike, of course. He leaned
over her as she stared at herself in the mirror, pondering their evening post
show.

"Uh, just going over lyrics in my head."

"Sure you are. You'll do great kitten."

"My new manager has faith in me huh?" she grinned.

"All the faith in the world, sweetheart."

"Aren't you glad Wesley quit being the manager? Now you get to manage
your very own band."

"And enjoy the perks of being with the incredibly hot lead singer."

She laughed and stood wrapping her arms around him. "Love you."

"Love you more."

"How do you know that?"

"Take that one on faith too," he grinned.

She shook her head. "We love each other equally. Not one above the other."


"All right, fine. Have it your way."

She grinned, "Is there any other way?"

He chuckled and then patted her bum as he gave her a peck on the cheek.
"Let's go. Showtime."

She grinned and leaned in, taking his earlobe in her mouth and gently biting
it. "Spike."

"Yeah?" he practically squeeked as a shiver ran through him.

"Tonight's the night," and she slipped out of his arms, enjoying the rather
stunned and immobile Spike. It wasn't until she was nearly on the stage
that she heard him call her name in desperation. She smiled to herself and
grabbed her guitar.

Spike watched his girl sing her heart out and his own threatened to swell
with love and pride. She was such an incredible woman. All of her, the
complete package. God, how she'd grown up. He'd loved the young girl she
once was, and now he not only loved but adored and worshipped the
woman she'd become. She was right. Now they were equally matched. One
upon a time she'd hung on his every word and never thought she had
anything important to add. Now . . . now she spoke her mind and challenged
him at every turn just as he did her.

"And this one I wrote for my boyfriend. It's called ‘I Deserve It.'"

His eyes jumped to hers and she smiled shyly at him as she began to play.
Spike was riveted as the haunting simple melody began.

This guy was meant for me
And I was meant for him
This guy was dreamt for me
And I was dreamt for him



This guy has danced for me
And I have danced for him
This guy has cried for me
And I have cried for him

Many miles, many roads I have traveled
Fallen down on the way
Many hearts, many years have unraveled
Leading up to today

This guy has prayed for me
And I have prayed for him
This guy was made for me
And I was made for him

I have no regrets
There's nothing to forget

Not running from the past
I tried to do what's best
I know that I deserve it
And I thank you

Okay, he had tears in his eyes now. Truer words had never been sung. He watched her take her bow and leave the stage and he stood there for a minute, trying to gather himself back together. Not that she hadn't seen him cry since they'd been reunited . . .

"Buffy," he said, taking her hand and leading her away from the group. His
eyes misted again.

She hugged him. "Liked it?"

"Loved it. Love you. So much."

"I know, I love you too. Let's go back to my place huh? Let me show you
how much I love you."

He pulled away just enough to look her in the face. "Buffy, you don't have to
if you're not ready. You show me a zillion different ways that you love me,
you don't have to prove anything."

"I know, Spike, but I want to make with you. I'm ready."

He kissed her passionately, letting her feel how much he wanted her, loved
her and needed her. She reciprocated ten fold and he knew then that she
meant it. She was ready. They were BOTH ready.

Entering the house, Buffy flicked on the light and dimmed it as Spike pulled
her back against his chest, nuzzling her neck and shoulder. She could feel
his erection pressing against her ass and she moaned as she leaned back,
allowing him easier access. The ride home had been, well, interesting. She
drove him to distraction; she knew that for a fact because he'd nearly
swerved off the road. She'd nibbled on his ear and left hot, open mouth
kisses on his neck as he'd drove them to her home. At red lights, he
devoured her lips with his. She knew she could touch him where his body
demanded it most, she'd seen him nearly popping out of his jeans, but she
didn't. She wanted him aching for it by the time they'd made it home.
Wiggling against him, she could feel that her mission had been
accomplished. Not that she wasn't aching herself. She was a mass of desire
for him. She couldn't wait to feel his hard body surrounding her. She
wanted to become reacquainted with the man he'd become in the worst
way . . .

"Buffy, you're driving me crazy," he moaned as he spun her around to face
him, jutting his hips forward and nesting himself between her legs.

She moaned, feeling her panties soak even more with longing. "Upstairs,"
she told him breathlessly and took his hand, running up the stairs with him.


As soon as they reached her bedroom, he took control, hauling her up
against him and kissing her hotly, tongue dueling and hands stroking. When
her knees hit the back of the bed, she fell back and took him with her; the
feel of his body on top of hers was exquisite. It brought her back to the first
time. She remembered feeling like the luckiest girl alive. Some things never
changed.

"Want to taste you," he murmured, lifting her shirt. He leaned down and
kissed her belly button, trailing his tongue around it. She was going to help
him discard her shirt, but he left her trembling with his tongue on her.
"Taste like sugar," he whispered and hummed as he helped her get rid of
the shirt. He fell to his side and gazed at her, letting his hand cup her bra
covered breast and watching it fill his hand. He smoothed his hand across
the top of her breasts and brushed against her nipples which were hard and
aching for him. She gasped and shuddered. Leaning over her he peppered
the tops of her breasts with kisses while simultaneously unfastening her
bra and discarding it. He stared at her breasts and cupped them with both
hands. "Beautiful," he murmured and closed his mouth over one, swiping
his tongue back and forth starting at the base and then landing over the
nipple, swiping as a cat would lick milk out of a bowl. She was ready to cum
just from that. He lavished attention to her other breast and Buffy dug her
fingers in his skull, feeling the silkiness of his hair thread through her
fingers. Trailing kisses back up to her mouth, he kissed her sweetly.

"Shirt, off," she gasped and yanked at his shirt, pulling it out of the confines
of his snug jeans. Off came the shirt and his torso, his perfectly sculpted,
David-come-to-life chest was revealed to her. Hungrily she leaned up as he
rested on his heels and lavished the same attention to his nipples that he
had done for her. Then trailed down to his stomach which clenched under
her adventurous tongue. Tangling his hands in her hair, he pulled her back
to claim her mouth with his.

Pushing her back on the bed, he set to work on taking off her pants and
panties. He did so with achingly slow tenderness that left her wondering if
he was taking inventory on every part of her body as he went. There
wasn't a part of her he didn't touch with reverence. Not a spot he didn't kiss
with his mouth. He reared up, gazing at her fully naked body.

"You're so incredibly beautiful Buffy," he stroked her skin with his fingers,
starting at her collar and made the path down to her legs. "You were made
for me. I was made for you."

"We were made for each other," she told him on a whisper.

"Never be apart again. You're my girl forever, yeah?"

She nodded.

"Say it."

"Forever."

"Mine."

"Yours," she agreed.

Scooting himself nearly off the bed, he laid on his stomach and nibbled on
the insides of her thighs.

"Oh, God, Spike," she moaned, jutting her hips forward, wanting his mouth
on her pussy.

He licked her slit from bottom to top in one smooth motion, causing her to
spasm from the contact. She was gripping the bed spread in her fists.
"Please," she whimpered.

Spreading her lips, he swished his tongue back and forth inside her and
then stabbed at her clit with the tip of his tongue.

"Oh my God," she groaned.

"Taste so good Buffy," he told her on a hum and that sent shockwaves to
her system. "Like honey," he whispered.

"Spike," she gasped. "Oh god, that feels so. . . "

"Mmmm…" and he sucked her clit in his mouth hard.

She saw stars, her body quaked and she gripped the bed spread hard as
she came in his mouth. He lapped up what she gave, practically purring as
he did.

When she had control of her breathing, she grabbed at him, wanting him
closer. He crawled up her body, kissing each part as he went, worshipping
her. When he finally reached her mouth, she crushed hers against his,
tasting herself. With a growl, she flipped him onto his back and straddled
him, her core coating his weeping cock. His eyes widened and he sought to
move so they could finally join.

She had other ideas.

Kneeling between his legs she took him in, drinking him with her eyes. He
was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen and would ever see in her life.
Leaning forward just a touch, she spread her hands wide across the
expanse of his chest and slid them down, over his nipples, across his
stomach.

"Buffy," he rasped, watching her with nearly black eyes.

She grinned and took his cock in her hand, watching him. His eyes widened
and then fluttered shut. "God, Buffy," he groaned.

Leaning down, she licked the slit with her tongue and was pleased when she
heard his gasp. Taking him in her mouth she slid her tongue from side to
side as she worked back up his length, swirling her tongue around the head.


"Christ!" he shouted, his hips bucking, sending his cock further inside her
mouth. She sucked at the head and he was up in a shot, pushing her gently
away, pulling her up and rolling her back onto her back. "Wrap your legs
around me," he demanded huskily.

She did so, amazed by her ability to make him lose control so quickly.

"Want to be inside you when I cum, Buffy. Waited so long to be with my girl
again, I don't want to miss a moment."

He slid inside her so slow she was ready to roll him onto his back and
impale herself on him. When he was finally seated within her, she was
surprised by the orgasm that rocked her body. She watched him, the
intense look on his face as he tried to reign in his own orgasm. Gently, he
started to move as her walls started to flutter less around him.

She needed him, all of him and she spread her hands on his back, pulling
him even closer. She was sure that if his whole body was inside her, it
wouldn't be close enough.

Their eyes met and simultaneously they welled up in tears. Tears of joy.

"I love you so much," they said at the same time.

"I've loved you forever Buffy. So lost without you . . ." he told her, his voice
full of raw emotion.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, words escaping her, her emotions
and the sensations in her body overcoming her. He sought her mouth
desperately as they rocked together. When he started to move faster
within her, she knew he was getting ready. Gliding his hand between them,
he rubbed at her clit, wanting her to cum with him.

She hissed and shuddered, pleasure coiling inside her . . . reaching. . .
reaching. . . until. .

"Spike!" she yelled his name, coming all around him, shaking from it.

"Buffy!" he shouted her name, coming hard inside her, tremors of pleasure
shaking him.

They rocked against each other, riding out their pleasure as the
shockwaves petered out. Moving to their sides, Spike stayed within her, not
wanting to ever be apart from her again. They gazed at each other,

caressed each other and kissed each other, murmuring their love. In each
others arms, they'd found their true home.

Epilogue

Epilogue

Three years later

"Auuggggggghhhhhhh!"

"Breathe baby, breathe."

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do!"

"Buffy—"

"If you're going to say anything remotely encouraging and supportive then
I suggest you get the hell out of the room RIGHT NOW!"

"Isn't there anything you can give her? This isn't my wife. It's Linda Blair."

Spike and Buffy sat in their cushy living room, formerly just Spike's home,
watching the video he made of the birth of their son, Justin William Reeves.
For some odd reason Buffy had the urge to see the video. Probably because
Justin was a year and growing so fast it made Buffy's heart ache to
remember how small he used to be. Spike had suggested she just look at old
photo's instead of the tape, but she had insisted on the tape.

"I didn't do that, did I?" she asked, horrified.

Spike nodded, "you did. Emasculated me, you did."

"I remember that I was in pain, I just don't remember how much. I
suppose that's what makes some women go back for more."

"Or they figure out there are drugs to be had."

Buffy nodded. "Good point. Epidural next time, I'm thinking."

Spike smiled. "So you still want more after seeing that?"

"Do you?"

"Buffy, I want a village. You know this."

She giggled and then stopped suddenly. Jumping up, she ran from the
room. Spike started after, startled. "Buffy?" Then he heard it. Justin was
crying. He found her in Justin's room – with the original Winnie the Pooh
theme all over the walls – taking a whimpering Justin out of his crib.

"All done with your nap, honey?" Buffy cooed gently at the tiny baby with
the light brown mop of curls and eyes as blue and sparkling as his fathers.
Justin curled up against Buffy, peering over her shoulder as she carried him
from the room at his father who followed the pair and made funny faces at
his son, trying to get him to laugh. Which he did, beaming at his father and
belly laughing. He reached for Spike and Buffy smiled, turning and
relinquishing Justin to Spike.

Walking into the kitchen, Spike went for the fridge to grab Justin his sippy
cup.

"You made sure you only filled that half with juice and the rest with water
right?" Buffy asked as she went to find the vanilla wafers from Gerber
Justin liked so much.

Spike rolled his eyes, "yes dear."

"You know what? I think you've been hanging out with Xander and Anya
too much. I don't nag like she does. I don't need the ‘yes dear.'" She paused
and then looked at him worriedly. "Do I?"

Spike chuckled and strapped Justin into high chair. "No, dear."

Buffy swatted him playfully and crumbled up the wafers on the tray. Justin
grabbed at them and his juice simultaneously.

Buffy giggled as Justin sucked on his sippy cup whilst holding onto the
wafers in his hand for dear life.

"So, pet. You're off for the summer in a couple weeks, yeah?" Spike asked
as he sat down at the kitchen table, next to his son.

"Yup. Where are we going to go for vacation this summer? When do you
have off? I was thinking we could take Justin somewhere fun."

"As opposed to somewhere boring."

She stuck her tongue out at her husband.

"How bout if we took him to his pops hometown?"

Buffy wrinkled her forehead. "Sunnydale? Spike, I try not to see my
parents very much."

"Buffy, go look under the iron in the closet."

She looked at him as if he were nuts. "Under the IRON?"

"It's a surprise and the one thing you don't do in the house is iron so I
figured it'd be safe."

"All right . . . "

Spike looked over at Justin who was smiling at his daddy. "She's gonna love
it Justin. So will you. Been wanting to take you to—"

"LONDON!!!"

"—For a long time."

Buffy came tearing into the kitchen, flushed, eyes wide and clutching the
tickets in her hand. "Are you serious? We're going to London?"

Spike nodded slowly and stood. "Yup."

Buffy squealed and launched herself in Spike's arms. "Yay!! Hear that
Justin? Daddy's taking us to London!!"

Justin babbled happily and then went back to munching on his wafers.

Buffy pulled back enough to plant a big kiss on Spike's lips.

"Been a long time coming that trip, don't you think?" Spike whispered.

"Roaring fire, right?"

Spike nodded slowly. "I keep my promises and I promised you. Sorry I was
so late."

"Doesn't matter how late we were. Just matters that we've made it."

Spike leaned in, and brushed his lips against hers. "Till death to us part."

Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed! I know it was tough at times to read and I thank you very much for sticking with it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!





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