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Chapter Six (B)

"What's up Buffy?" Willow asked as she entered the kitchen to see Buffy staring out the kitchen window. Walking over, she peered over her friends shoulder to see what she was watching so intently.

"Do you think Spike likes Faith?" Buffy asked, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully. "I mean, he's acting like he likes her. But I'm just curious as to how MUCH he likes her."

Willow studied the pair. "I don't know. I mean, he's smiling, which indicates that he might like her, but he could just be being polite. You know like when he met Anya and didn't even blink when she said ‘so you're the one that got Buffy knocked up.' I was ready to deck her, but he just took it all in stride."

Buffy laughed and then groaned.

"I know Faith isn't your favorite person—"

"Gee, can't imagine why. She's not even MY friend but she insinuates herself in MY life any way she can and tries to take over everything. Remember how she hit on Wesley?"

"Yeah, but remember how well he handled it?"

Buffy grinned, "he did do well didn't he? He just simply told her that she was acting like a cat in heat. I suspect no male has ever turned her down like that before."

"You think Spike will?"

Buffy sighed. "I don't know. Once upon a time, he used to be an open book. Now he's a mystery to me."

"Would you be jealous if he liked Faith?" Willow asked lightly.

Buffy turned to Willow and blinked. "Jealous? Me? Jealous if he wanted to. . . jealous? Please. No, I would worry about him being able to handle her that's all. Besides I have Wes."

"Just checking," Willow said as she popped cheese cube in her mouth. Buffy turned back to her.

"Well, now you know."

"Know what?" Spike.

"You have a knack for just popping up don't ya?" Buffy teased him.

He chuckled, "what are you girls doing in here? Gossiping?"

"I came for the cheese and now I shall depart," Willow said extravagantly and waltzed out the door.

Buffy giggled and started for the fridge to take out the chilled desserts.

"Need some help?"

"Hiding again?"

Spike grinned and shrugged. "Haven't really had much of a chance to talk with you today."

"Well, you've been busy catching up with your other friends."

"Are we Buffy?"

"Are we what?"

"Friends."

Sucking on her bottom lip thoughtfully, she finally answered with a nod. "I think so. What do you think?"

"I'd like that. After what we've been through, we deserve that don't you think?"

She nodded as she placed the Boston Cream Pie on the counter and shook the can of
whipped cream. "You and Faith seem to be getting on well," she attempted conversationally.

Spike scratched his head, "yeah, she's an uh, interesting bird."

"Really? You'd use interesting to describe her?"

Spike laughed as he watched Buffy coat the top of the pie. "What word would you use to
describe her?"

"I can't just use one word when it comes to Faith," Buffy told him as she tilted her head back
and sprayed the cream in her open mouth.

"Hey! You have to share that!" Spike told her and reached for the can. Giggling, she handed
it to him and watched as he mimicked her actions. He grinned at her and they both reached out
simultaneously to wipe residual cream off one another's noses. Their hands brushed and Buffy
jumped when Spike took hold her of her hand and looked at her, earnest and intense.

"What?" She whispered.

"I just have to thank you. For this. I didn't realize how much I missed until today. Any
friends I had. . . they were nothing like this."

"You're welcome," she told him softly, pulling her hand away from his grip. The contact was
making her feel all sorts of funny and it wasn't settling well with her.

"I talked to Wes."

"Oh?"

"He's protective of you."

"Wouldn't you be if the tables were turned?"

"Fair enough. How'd you meet?"

Buffy grabbed another two pies out of the fridge and started dressing them with cream. "I
met him at work."

"What do you do Buffy? You've never told me."

"I'm a guidance counselor for high school kids," she looked up at him, gauging his reaction.

He nodded slowly. "Fits doesn't it?"

"After everything happened, it seemed the only thing that fit. I wanted the chance to help
other kids like me. Maybe help them so they don't end up like I did." At that last comment she let
out a sarcastic snicker.

"You didn't turn out bad, Buffy," Spike said softly.

"I turned out hard, angry, bitter and untrusting with serious abandonment issues. I'm a
psychologists dream."

"What does Wes do?"

"He's a principal. He was in the process of changing schools when I met him. He kind of
took me by surprise. I didn't expect him to. . . well, anyway, that's how we met."

"No, what were you going to say?"

She shook her head and sighed. She closed her eyes momentarily and then looked at him. He
looked sincerely interested and she couldn't help but share with him. "I didn't expect him to want to
be with someone like me."

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, defensive.

"All the baggage I have, all the issues I have with. . . everything. I didn't think someone as
together as Wesley would want to have anything to do with such a mess. But, he did."

"Did you tell him everything right away?"

"Pretty much. I figured if really wanted to take a chance, he deserved to know what he was
getting involved with. He was so supportive and understanding. He didn't judge me at all, he just
accepted it as part of my past and understood that it was something that I needed to work through.
He told me he would be there for me and so far, he has been."

Spike nodded, seeming to be processing what she was telling him. He rubbed the back of his
neck. "Buffy. Do you—if a girl came to you and told you that she was in love with a boy and that he
loved her too but her parents didn't approve, what would you tell her? Would you tell her to leave it
be or to stay with him?"

Buffy stared at him for a long time before answering. "Well, on one hand there is the
romantic notion of following your heart. On the other hand is the very realistic notion of doing what
is right—"

"Following your heart is wrong?"

"And abiding the consequences of doing what romance dictates," she continued, ignoring
him. "The reality of the situation is that the consequences of defying your parents when you still live
under their roof can be dire. And if the boy loves you enough to want to be with you through thick
and thin, then he'll understand and wait for you. However, if that is too much to ask of him, then
perhaps he doesn't love you as much as he says. By showing your parents that you can be adult and
follow their rules, perhaps they can be ‘worn down' and relent on their previous judgements about
the relationship."

"Thought about this much have you?" He asked, obviously annoyed.

She shot him a glare and crossed her arms. "Haven't you?" She shot back.

"So you're saying you would tell the girl to give up. To not fight for what she wants."

"And you define ‘fighting' by sneaking around?"

"Maybe she could find other ways than just lying down and taking what her parents
dictated," he said angrily, his voice starting to rise and his jaw clenching.

"Maybe her boyfriend should be more understanding of her situation and not try to pressure
her so much."

"Maybe her boyfriend just loves, needs and wants her so bloody much he can't think. Maybe
he's young too and has never been in love before and believes that where there's a will, there's a
way."

Buffy was trembling from his passionate outburst. She found herself feeling those emotions
emanating from him and covering her in them, making her feel the love she had once felt coming
from him. She shook her head and walked away from him. "Maybe her boyfriend believes too much
in fairy tales."

"You do blame me, don't you?" He whispered, looking down.

"No, not completely. I was there too. I blame a lot on me."

"Which part?"

"If I wasn't letting myself be led by my parents, then I was being led by you. I was living that
fairy tale that you built for us. I wasn't living in reality. I was so over come by the fact that you,
William ‘Spike' Reeves, the badass with the heart of gold—loved me. Plain Buffy Anne Summers.
You could have had any girl, but you wanted ME. I was naïve, dumb and hormonal. I wasn't thinking clearly and I let you do the thinking for me because you seemed to have all the answers. I never fully realized that you didn't though. I had my doubts, but I let you convince me because I wanted to be convinced.
I'm not a teenager anymore Spike. I see things differently now. My heads aren't so much in the clouds. And if it does get in the clouds just a little bit, well, my feet are planted firmly on the ground.
So, I would tell that girl to stick it out best she could. I would tell her that sneaking around would only be asking for more trouble than she would get into if she gave it some time and found a way to convince her parents that they guy she's in love with isn't so bad. And, if the guy is worth his salt, he'll wait for her and support her."

"Did you think I would have abandoned you, Buffy?"

Tears pricked her eyes and she took a deep breath and straightened her gait, willing her tears away. "I was afraid you'd leave me, that you'd get bored and move on."

He shook his head sadly, "I wouldn't have left you Buffy. I wouldn't have left you at all. If you had asked me to wait, I would have. I would have done anything for you. Why didn't you GET that?"

"I told you I had low self-esteem."

"And I'm being punished for that," he said matter-of-factly.

She shook her head, "Spike." She sighed heavily. "You wanted truths, didn't you? In order for this—whatever it is—to work, then I'm not going to lie to you. I don't expect you to lie to me either."

"Then let me be honest with you and tell you that the only reason why you don't believe in fairy tales and happy endings is because you're afraid to trust yourself."

"That's the whole essence of low self-esteem Spike," she said through gritted teeth.

"And who better to nurture those beliefs than Mr. Logical Full of Cold Reserve, Wesley Wyndam Pryce," Spike shot back.

"You don't know ANYTHING about Wesley. NOTHING! Just like you don't know anything about me. Not anymore."

They glared at each other.

"I think you should leave now," Buffy told him levelly, her jaw set, her eyes cold.

Spike held up his hands in surrender and shook his head. He let out a humorless snort. "I think you're right."





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