Chapter 11 –

Who knew that asking the young girl if he’d been good or evil would be a question that led to such a complex and detailed answer?

“And I would hang out and listen to your stories. Like this one time you told me about a family where the little girl was hiding in a coal bin, but right before you got to the good part, Buffy interrupted us.”

What could he have been thinking to tell a young girl such fiendish stories?

“Anyway, you would always let me hang out there after school. For some reason, you just seemed to have a way of making me feel safe.”

Dear Lord! Surely she was speaking in jest?

“You didn’t treat me like a kid. You always listened and didn’t talk to me like I couldn’t possibly understand anything that was going on. I liked that about you. Things were just easier when I was around you, you know?”

He surely didn’t.

“Which isn’t to say you were the best babysitter ever. I mean, you did help me break into the Magic Box and read through Giles’ watcher diaries. That’s how you discovered I was The Key, which is what Glory, the Hell God, was looking for.”

“The key?” This made no sense at all. The key to what?

“Oh right! You don’t remember any of that. Well, apparently before I was human, I was a mystical ball of energy that opens the barriers between all the dimensions. But then these monks turned me into Buffy’s sister so that she would protect me from Glory and couldn’t use my blood to turn Earth and every other dimension into one ginormous Hell dimension.”

“Good Lord!” He couldn’t help the outburst. This was all quite fantastic.

“But she ended up capturing me anyway, and she tied me up on this big tower built by crazy people, and then this creepy old dude came out of nowhere to start the ritual. That’s when you showed up to save me.”

“I did?”

“Well, you tried to save me. He was some sort of really fast little demon, and he ended up stabbing you and then throwing you off the tower. But then Buffy showed up and threw him off the tower. Except, he had already started making these cuts on my stomach, and all the blood started to open up the hell dimension and it started to combine with this one. And the prophecy said the only way to stop it was for the blood to stop flowing. I was just about to jump when Buffy realized that we had the same blood, and sacrificed herself by jumping instead.”

“She really died?” It was still a bit difficult to conceive that she could have actually died and been resurrected.

“Yeah. It was kind of hard to accept at first. I think we all thought she’d win like always. I mean, I guess she really did, ‘cause Glory’s dead, and this isn’t part of some big Hell dimension, but still…” She paused and dabbed a sleeve at her eyes. “I think that was when the rest of the gang finally believed that you really cared about her.”

“They didn’t believe before?” That seemed an odd thing for her to reveal.

“No. See, they all have this weird idea that vampires can’t love because they don’t have a soul. But all anyone had to do was look at you to see you were totally in love with Buffy.”

“I was?” Was he?

“Yeah. It was kind of hard for any of them to deny it that morning. You were so… I’ve never seen a person so… distraught? You didn’t talk about it after that, no one did, but I think you kind of blamed yourself. You were pretty overprotective around me after that. Anyway, I think that before that Buffy just didn’t want to believe it because that would make the whole Angel versus Angelus thing complete and utter bullsh…. Uh, baloney.”

Ah, yes, the vampire who had “sired” Drusilla. What did he have to do with this?

“Anyway, the way you let Glory torture you in order to keep her from finding out I was the key? Helping me try to bring our mom back after she died? Keeping me safe all those times I snuck out without telling Buffy? Helping Buffy patrol all the time? Offering to stake Drusilla to prove you love Buffy? Helping me figure out what I was? Getting yourself thrown off a tower trying to save me? I mean, yeah, you used to be evil once upon a time, but you’ve always been really nice to our mom and to me, and you do love Buffy, even if you did hurt her.”

“I hurt her?” Was this what had led to the fateful wish?

“Well, you kind of slept with Anya the other day. It really hurt Buffy a lot.”

That was certainly a revelation. He could understand now why she’d made the wish. But if he truly had loved Miss Buffy, then how could he have engaged in a tryst with Miss Anya? Perhaps he did deserve her spite.

“If it helps, when I came to see you earlier today you said that the thing with Anya was just something that sort of happened after you both had a few drinks.”

“You’re too kind, Miss Dawn. I begin to comprehend why Miss Buffy would make such a wish as she did.”

“I don’t think that was it,” She interjected.

“No?”

“I mean, sure, it hurt her a lot to see you and Anya, but it was a sad kind of hurt and not an ‘I wish you didn’t exist’ kind of hurt.”

He thought about all she’d said. He certainly was a rather strange and confusing vampire. Taking care of a young girl? Telling her stories of murdering families? Philandering? Offering to murder Drusilla to somehow prove his love to Miss Buffy?
________________________________

“Well, when you first came to Sunnydale you were certainly all with the big and mysterious evil. You crashed back to school night in your all black clothes and cool leather coat. Killed a bunch of people all over town.” Mr. Xander seemed rather unfazed during his telling as if this was a rather common occurrence. “You almost killed Buffy a couple of times.”

“I did?”

“Oh sure. But then she’d give you the slayer smackdown, and you’d run back to your crazy girlfriend. But then Angel lost his soul and turned into Angelus after he and Buffy got all…” He trailed off.

“Yes?”

“You know what? Not important. What is important, is that after Buffy kicked his ass, he got his soul back and you left town. For one glorious year, we didn’t have to put up with your bleached brain schemes. I kind of miss it.”

“Schemes?”

“Oh yeah. You tend to be pretty big on ideas. Execution? Not so much. If a vampire could have ADHD, you’d be patient zero.”

He certainly had an odd manner of speaking. He’d have to ask one of the others what ADHD was, and how one obtained it. Perhaps Miss Anya could shed some light on this subject?

“But after The Initiative put that chip in your head, you weren’t so much with the grand schemes as the pathetic, self-absorbed whining about how bad your life was. I was never so glad as I was when you finally moved out the basement.”

“The basement?”

“Well, we couldn’t figure out where else to keep you. We couldn’t exactly leave you chained up in Giles’s bathtub forever, so we tied you up in my parent’s basement instead. By the way, Hawaiian shirts are not your friend.”

He wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

“Miss Dawn also mentioned someone by the name of Giles. Is he Miss Buffy’s guardian?”

“Well, I guess you could call him that. He’s Buffy’s Watcher. See, Buffy’s a vampire slayer, and every vampire slayer gets a watcher to help and train her. They also keep a diary of all the battles and demons that she fights. They have endless amounts of books on every slayer and every demon. I hear they’ve even got a few on you. Or, well, Spike that is. Giles is Buffy’s Watcher. He’s from England, too. In fact, there’s a whole Watcher’s Council is in England. All a bunch of holier than though stuffed shirts if you ask me.”

“So, this ‘chip’ you speak of? It somehow reversed my evil nature?”

“Of course not! You’re still evil. Or, well, Spike was. Being as how you’re William and not Spike, you aren’t evil. Spike was always evil. The chip just made him unable to hurt people. If it hadn’t been for the chip, Spike probably would have bagged his third slayer by now, and killed the rest of us while he was at it.”

“Pardon me for asking, but, what do you mean, ‘bagged his third slayer’?”

“Well, Spike was the slayer of slayers. He killed two slayers, and was obsessed with making Buffy his third.”

“I killed other Slayers?”

“Well, not you. But yeah, Spike did.”

“And I wanted to kill Miss Buffy?”

“Well, yeah, at first. Then once you got the chip, you just kind of became crazy stalker guy. You thought you were in love with her and everything.”
___________________________________________

“Well, they don’t understand the complexities of demon souls. You can’t blame them really. Then again, I think they really don’t want to understand because it would interfere with their little black and white worldviews.” Miss Anya explained.

“So I had a demon soul?”

“Yes. It moves in and takes the place of your human soul. You keep all your memories and everything, but depending on how strong the demon is and how well it merges with your own consciousness, you may or may not keep certain aspects of your character. I mean, you’re still you to an extent.”

“I’m still myself?”

“Oh yes! Granted, none of us would have guessed that Spike was a member of the Peerage, but then again, it certainly explains a few things.”

“It does?”

“Oh yes! The way you choose your partner and then set your sights and then never give up? Looking back, that’s very classical of someone of your station from that era. The social and cultural expectations of what and who you should choose to partner yourself with were very ingrained and difficult for people like you to overcome. It’s only natural you would want to choose a partner with the highest standing, which in this case would be Buffy. She would definitely be the top of the ladder outside your own species. Come to think of it, that’s probably why there aren’t many vampires from the late Victorian era still around. That, and I would imagine most vampires would have preferred to just eat the aristocrats since they would probably be even more insufferable if they were turned.”

“Insufferable?”

“Boy, you could be insufferable at times! Not your fault really, you are simply a product of your status and time. You were raised with certain expectations and that would obviously carry over into your vampire self. I remember the men back then quite well. I did, after all, spend a bit of time in your neck of the woods before popping over to Russia for a while. You aristocrats from that era held quite the double standard when it came to women. The brothels back then were my bread and butter, but the wives certainly weren’t short on vengeance wishes either.”

“I… I’ve, never…”

“Oh, I know you’ve never. Hallie spilled the beans a couple of months ago after Buffy’s birthday party. When she called you William, and I saw you recognize her, I summoned her a couple of days later and made her dish the dirt on you.”

“Hallie?”

“Oh, sorry! You knew her as Cecily.”
“Cecily? You… you spoke with Cecily? She’s still alive?”

“Oh, sure! She’s a vengeance demon like me. When you met her, she was currently pretending to be an Underwood so she could get close enough to corner a certain family. She said you were quite the thorn in her side during that time. Every time she had them right where she wanted them, you’d be there with the poetry and the moon eyes, and the stuttering. You know what, she can probably tell this way better than I can… Halfrek!”

“Halfrek?”

“Hallie! I know you’re still hanging around. You can’t tell me word hasn’t gotten out yet that I unmade a vampire! Hallie!”

Suddenly Cecily was standing among them.

“Anya dear, you do know I have a whole summoning ritual, right?”

“Cecily?” She’d adopted the same style of dress as the other ladies here in the residence, though she appeared more polished than the others, as was her custom. Otherwise, she looked exactly as she had when he’d seen her earlier. No, that was over a hundred years ago, he reminded himself.

“William!” She smiled and preened her hair a bit as it hung loose about her shoulders. He’d never seen it down before.

“Hallie! William was asking about you, and I figured you could tell him about your little recurrent gig better than I can.”

“Gig? I have no ‘gigs,’ Anya. I have serious vengeance that I take the utmost pride in carrying out to the best of my ability.”

“Whatever,” Miss Anya made a show of rolling her eyes. “Why don’t you tell him about your serious vengeance and why you drove him out the night he disappeared. In the meantime, I’m starving. Think I’ll go make me a sandwich.”

And with that, Miss Anya made a rather swift exit, leaving him alone with Cecily.

“Do you mind if I sit?” She asked him tentatively.

“No, no, but all means!” He stood and invited her to sit on the settee, then sat back down.

“William… I want you to know that I had absolutely no idea that when you left you would run right into The Whirlwind and be turned into a vampire. Truly, I didn’t.”

“Thank you.” He didn’t really know what else to say.

“Really, I felt awful when I recognized you a few months ago and realized that instead of going missing all those years ago, you’d been turned. How have you been?”

“Uh, evil apparently, and you?”

“Oh, I’ve been quite busy with the vengeance. Anya did explain to you that I’m a vengeance demon, yes?”

“A bit, yes.”

“Oh good. I am so sorry I pushed you away at the party, but I was trying to focus on my work you see, and you were such a distraction. It wasn’t that you were anything less than a perfect gentleman, but I was getting close to my objective and didn’t want you to be caught up in the end result. I had to find a way to make you leave.”

“I… I see.”

“Oh, William, I don’t think you do. You were so far above those other imbeciles you wanted to be friends with, but they wanted to do nothing more than laugh at you. I felt certain that one day you would make some young lady a fine husband, but not if you stayed at that club while I carried out vengeance. If it’s any consolation, most of them met with a rather unpleasant ending shortly after you left.”

“I… I’m not sure what to say.”

“Well, thank you wouldn’t be a bad start.” She gave a light pat on his hand. “I suppose I did you a bit of favor, sending you out like that. You became part of The Whirlwind and got to see the world. You didn’t die gasping from some awful disease. You get to see all the marvels of the modern world and have taken quite a fancy to the Slayer I hear. I bet that’s led to some rather interesting evenings, yes?”

He couldn’t quite find the words to respond to that question.

“Oh for Pete sake, Hallie, I unmade him, remember? He doesn’t remember a thing about being Spike. For all he knows, Spike never existed.”

“Except, he did, didn’t he? Or else William wouldn’t be here and now, instead of back in 1880. I see what you did there, Anya.”

“So, I took a little creative license. What was I supposed to do, just dust him and then hope Buffy didn’t try to take my head off when she realized she still had feelings for him?”

“I wasn’t criticizing, Anya.” Cecily stood up. “I was just remarking that you unmaking him wasn’t purely unmaking him.”

“Still, he doesn’t remember anything Spike did. He doesn’t know he’s been all around the world or ate children for snacks,”

“Children?”

“Or committed a century of rape, pillage, and murder for fun.”

“Did you say…?”

“Or apparently spent many, many, hours of wild sex and mutual orgasms with who knows how many women, not to mention Buffy.”

“Wh….wh…”

“And that’s another thing, it would have been a crime really to do that to someone so talented in that area.”

“Talented?”

“I mean, he did comfort me when I was still so upset about Xander. He was my solace in my dark moment of need. It was the least I could do to save his life. Preventing Buffy from going off the deep end because of guilt over killing her lover was just a bonus.”

“Anya! I get it! He’s William. You don’t have to convince me. Just don’t let D’Hoffran in on your little secret.”

“Thank you. It means a lot to me that you understand. You always did.”

They embraced each other tightly for several moments before separating.

“Did you explain your whole vengeance thing to him?”

“I think so,” Cecily replied to Miss Anya. “William? Have I answered your questions?”

He wasn’t entirely sure. Did he even have questions to begin with? He thought he might have, but he certainly had more questions now. But, none of them were questions he dare ask. So he nodded.

“Lovely. It was so nice catching up with you, William. Do stay in touch!” She smiled warmly at him. “And you too, Anya! I’ll probably be around another week or so. Always plenty of orphans and such here in Sunnydale to help.”

“I’ll call you next week! We can have coffee.” Miss Anya embraced Cecily again, and then Cecily just seemed to vanish.

“So, William. Any other questions?” Miss Anya asked.
“No. I… you’ve been quite… helpful… with your explanations. Thank you.”

“Glad I could help!” She reached out and pat him on the shoulder, smiling radiantly, and then simply left the room.

He contemplated what he had learned in his brief interviews with the others. It all seemed so conflicting that it was rather difficult to form any kind of idea or impression on who or what he had been as a vampire. Perhaps he was going about this in the wrong manner. He’d always rather enjoyed devoting time to studying the literature, perhaps there were literary sources he could consult. There was also the previously mentioned fellow, Mr. Giles, who apparently kept a journal of the goings on pertaining to Miss Buffy. Yes, literature and study were the pillars of an educated mind. Perhaps Miss Tara and Miss Willow could assist him in locating a suitable library nearby in the morning. Miss Tara did say she’s studied classics and seemed to imply Miss Willow had as well. Yes, he’d ask their assistance tonight and get their opinions on what he’d been like before today, and then dive into researching first thing tomorrow.

The contemplation of all he’d learned today and anticipation of locating a library tomorrow should make for a refreshingly quiet night for introspection as he found that despite the exceedingly late hour, he was rather awake and not feeling the call of Morpheus just yet.

Now, where to find the young ladies?





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