After Miss Anya had ushered him inside, she had directed him to sit at their dining table, while she fetched what she termed a ‘First Aid Kit’, which Miss Tara explained was container of tinctures, plasters, and such to treat injuries on the spot. He’d assumed that they would of course fetch a doctor immediately, but they had assured him there was no need of such interventions. He, however, was not quite so certain.

In the interim, he’d been left to sit in the dining area whilst the remainder of the party observed him as if he were a scientific specimen placed under glass for closer scrutiny. Just when he’d been about to object to their rather rude behavior, Miss Anya returned with a small white container with various contents marked ‘sterile’, and various liniments.

“Is there a dearth of doctor’s in this area?”

“What?” Miss Willow asked, as she went about opening packages and apply some sort of liniment to his scalp. “No. No dearth. We just, have a lot of experience treating stuff like this.

That did not reassure him.

“You… have a lot of injuries in your establishment requiring treatment?”

“Establishment?”

“He thinks this is an Introduction House,” Miss Anya supplied.

“Oookkaaay….um, been a little while since I learned about Victorian society. An Introduction House would be….. ?” Miss Willow failed to finish her sentence.

“A high-end brothel. Very discreet and selective. Usually they only entertained aristocrats of their choosing. Some of them specialized in very specific tastes. For instance, The Nunnery specialized in…”

“Dawn!” Miss Tara suddenly shouted, as a young girl burst through the door to the residence.

“Virgins…” Miss Anya finished her statement. Drawing odd looks from the rest of the assemblage.

“Wow,” The young girl smiled rather sweetly. There seemed to be a carefree quality about her, as she hung some sort of sack or package in the foyer. “You guys really do have some strange conversations while I’m gone. Hey, Tara!” The girl’s smile fairly beamed at the lady in question, as she bounded up and gave Miss Tara a kiss on her cheek. “I’m so glad you’re back! I missed you *so* much!”

“Sapphist?” He inquired of Miss Anya.

“What? No!” Miss Anya started laughing. “No, Dawn is quite the little boy chaser aren’t you, Dawn? Just a few months ago she skipped out to go make out with a vampire football player.”

“Ugh! Am I ever going to live that down?” The young girl, Dawn, asked.

Vampire? Football? Surely they were all speaking in jest. The longer he listened, then more he was convinced. What club would even desire such a creature? And how would a creature of the night attend a match? It was absurd!

“Anyway, as I was saying…” Miss Anya once again resumed.

“Yeah, I think we get the gist of it, Anya,” Miss Willow interrupted her, thank goodness for small mercies. This turn of conversation was making him rather uncomfortable in more ways than he cared to admit. “What I don’t get is why he thinks this is a brothel?”

“Well, it kind of makes sense if you think about it. I mean, put yourself in his place. Remember reading all those classics for English Lit class and how their society was very regimented? Suddenly here he is in a house full of women with no guardians or supervision?” Miss Tara furnished that explanation.

“Classics?” He asked Miss Tara. “How delightful! Did you study at Bedford? Cheltenham? Girton?”

Everyone in the room turned to look at Miss Anya for some odd reason, completely ignoring his question.

“Why is everyone looking at me?” Miss Anya asked, appearing a bit perturbed.

“Well, you seem to know what he’s saying so far. We just sort of assumed you knew what he was talking about.” Mr. Xander explained. Though he wasn’t quite certain what needed interpretation.

“Sorry. I’m just so used to everyone ignoring me. It’s a little strange for you all to finally recognize that I can contribute a lot of useful information. You don’t get to be 1142 without picking up a few things along the way. You all always forget I know six earth languages, 4 demon languages, and have traveled between an infinite number of dimensions in my selfless service to scorned women for over a thousand years.”

“Okay…” Miss Dawn broke the uncomfortable silence that followed. “So, moving on…since Spike is here, does that mean we aren’t all mad at him anymore?”

He started searching for the vampire in question, unfortunately very nearly injuring Miss Willow as he stood to try and assume a position to defend himself from the demon.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!”
“Hey!”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Take it easy!”

Multiple shouts assaulted him at the same time, and it took him a moment to recollect himself upon realizing that said vampire was not in fact present.

“Hey Dawn, can you help me in the kitchen a moment?” Miss Tara inquired of the girl. She appeared confused, but followed regardless. After a few tense, but silent moments, they returned to the dining room, with the girl looking exceedingly perturbed. She then proceeded to pronounce that everything was “messed up” and then stormed out of the room and up the stairs in the foyer in an apparent fit of pique.

“Geez, what’s her problems?” Mr. Xander asked.

“Dawn’s always sort of looked up to… him… as a, a, a big brother, sort of; so, she’s understandably a little upset with the, um, recent events.” Miss Tara seemed to be hedging around something, and he couldn’t help feeling as if that something was him.

“May I be so bold as to interject?” He asked the assemblage.

They all seemed to consider his request with all due seriousness before Miss Willow acquiesced.

“I don’t want to seem presumptuous, but I’ve been listening to all of your rather bizaar, discussion this evening, and it occurs to me that something of significance has occurred; and, for reasons that escape me at the moment, it is being kept from me. I assure you, I am of stout stock and can face whatever unpleasantness you may be holding back.”

He could feel his ire rising and knew he should fight it, but he’d had about as much mocking and jesting and social slights as he could stand this day and he was really rather done with all of the manners with which he’d been properly raised.

“So won’t someone please cease all of this prevarication and tell me what the bloody hell is going on here?”





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