[A/N: Title is a paraphrase of the Bard’s words, (his quote is ‘unless to spy my shadow in the sun’ from King Richard III, act 1, sc.1; while Audioslave’s is the actual song title, Shadow on the Sun, which is an awesome tune but you really really truly need to listen to the words. Beautiful sentiment, despite the heavy “metal” music. Anyway, the quotes are as attributed, and the disclaimers are still in full force and effect, but I’m thinking up ways to get to Joss, so if anyone has an idea, let me know.]
Previously: Buffy and Spike are now a couple, in every meaning of the word. Dawn ran into the Huntsman and he gave her some words of wisdom. Unfortunately, Giles doesn’t recognize the language and can’t translate . . . yet.
34. Shadow on the sun
The man of knowledge must not only be able to love his enemies, but must also be able to hate his friends.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Samtliche Werke: Kritische Studienausgabe
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Strength to Love, chap. 4
Armed with Dawn’s description and Anya’s dead on assessment, Giles made more inroads in the research than he’d expected. So by the time he realized how late it was, the sun was down and no one had bothered to call Buffy to let her know Dawn was back safe and sound.
Glancing at his watch, he also realized no one had heard from her either – which was odd considering she’d been concerned about Dawn going on patrol. Abruptly realizing that everyone was in the Magic Box except for Buffy and Spike, he grimaced slightly, then hid a grin. Undoubtedly Spike wasted no time once everyone was gone.
Just as he was about to get up and call, the phone rang. Anya answered, still chipper after working all day and she smiled brightly as she handed the phone to Giles.
“Rupert, its Wesley Wyndham-Price.”
Well, that was a surprise. “Hello Wesley. What can I do for you?”
“Actually, its what I can do for you. I’ve discovered something that may be of importance regarding information transmission.”
It took him a moment to decipher what Wesley was alluding too, but when he realized it, Giles looked around, noting everyone’s attention focused on him, moving into the back office, Giles closed the door and said “go ahead.”
“Our mutual friends have been sending out feelers regarding obtaining information about commodities under your control.”
Before the other man could go any further, Giles said “Wesley, stop right there.”
The former watcher did, catching onto the apprehension in Giles’ voice.
“Are you still in the same location?”
“Yes.”
“How soon can you make arrangements to leave?”
Understanding dawned in Wesley’s voice “not until tomorrow night at the earliest.”
“Right then. I’ll have the kettle on.”
And both men hung up at the same time.
Giles stared at nothing, wondering what else could possibly go wrong, then mentally kicking himself for the thought. He needed to speak to both Buffy and Spike.
Dialing the number, Giles waited for one of them to pick up.
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At some point, they’d fallen back to sleep, her leg up over his hip, their groins touching, arms entwined around each other. There was a ringing in his ears, dragging him from a particularly good dream where he was shagging the slayer senseless.
Spike woke up to the phone ringing and Buffy naked in his arms. Right, not a dream then.
Reaching over her, he lifted up the phone, grousing, “this better be good.”
“I’m sure its not anything approaching what you would consider good” Giles’ voice was dry.
“Out with it then” Spike’s sigh ruffled Buffy’s hair and he idly moved it off her face.
“Not so dire that you need to rush out.” And Giles quickly caught him up on what had happened during the day, only omitting for the time being Wesley’s phone call, but he didn’t want to alarm them any more than necessary.
“You want us to come there or you gonna cart everyone over here?” Buffy raised her eyes, shaking her head no at the second part of that question. “Never mind Watcher, Buffy wants to meet there.”
“Right. Give us an hour or so.” No need to tell Rupert they were currently in no state to be anywhere but exactly where they were until they showered.
Just before hanging up, Spike said, “Chinese and make it spicy.”
Buffy flopped over onto her back, really not wanting to move any further than the other side of the bed. Perhaps back on top of Spike or underneath him, but no where else. She smiled up at nothing, wondering what he would say if she could say that out loud. “So what’s up?”
Leaning over her, up on one elbow, Spike ran his hand over her breasts, flicking her nipples. “Huntsman is with the pack. Dawn is fine and Giles has more news.”
“And that’s all you’re going to tell me, isn’t it?” Buffy narrowed her eyes a bit, knowing there was far more to either story than two sentences, but figuring he’d only avoid her questions about anything until he was ready to talk.
“Yeah. No point in goin’ over it and stealin’ Rupert’s thunder. He’s gonna ‘xplain it all later in any case. Might as well hear it from him. ‘Sides” he continued, “rather spend my time doin’ this” as his voice dropped and he slid his fingers down to cup her mound.
“Spike. . . . shouldn’t we . . . mmmmm. . . “ Buffy arched her hips, opening up for him. He leaned closer, laying open mouthed kisses along her collarbone, trailing down toward her breast. Sliding over her, leaning heavily on his elbows, Spike framed her head and shoulders with his arms, wiggling his hips against her. “Spike, shouldn’t . . . you told him . . . an hour.”
“I did.” His mouth captured hers and she could feel his erection growing between their bodies. “But, this” he proceeded as he nuzzled the side of her neck, “is what I want to do.” Teasing her by thrusting against her clit, Spike nipped his bite marks then said, “but kitten if you wanna go, we will.”
Wrapping her legs around him, her hands pulling his hips down hard against hers, Buffy tried wiggling around so she could slip him inside her. “No” she breathed heavily as he lifted his hips away from her “no, no. . . don’t go . . .” Then whispered his name in a kind of half whine “Spiiike.”
Lifting himself up away from her body, he grinned down at her. “You sure this is what you want? Don’t wanna disappoint the watcher do you?”
Buffy grabbed his hip, guiding him down against her forcefully. “Don’t care. Want. Now.”
Teasing her again, he shifted once more to avoid entering her “positive, love?”
She growled up at him, using both her legs to pull him down against her. “Yes. . . now.”
Ooh he thought, got the slayer wanting this also. Staring into her eyes, daring her to not look away, Spike shifted again, sliding against her heat. Buffy’s eyes grew impossibly wider as he teased against her then thrust out her lip in an unconscious pout. Oh bloody fucking hell, that did it. That damn pout. Spike honed in on her lip, and as he nibbled on it, maneuvered himself inside her. “God. . . fucking hot . . . so wet . . . “
He groaned into her mouth, rocking hard inside her, his hips pumping a constant rhythm, sliding in and out and back in again. It was hard and fast and Spike had to control the urge to go into game face and bite her, it was a near thing, everything in him urging him to claim her, mark her permanently as his, but he wouldn’t do that to her, not without . . . . and his mind went blank as their orgasms wrenched through them simultaneously.
Panting for air, Spike laid his head between her breasts and held back the tears.
******************************** ***************************************
Giles gave them an hour and fifteen minutes before he even called the Chinese take-away, knowing they wouldn’t make the hour time limit Spike had quoted at him. He and Dawn had slacked off the research, not because they’d discovered everything, but mainly because after Wesley’s phone call, he’d been focused on other things. The cryptic information the other Englishman had imparted had struck Giles as a bit of unusual timing and also there had been an odd note in his voice. Something was not right in Los Angeles.
Just like something was not right in Sunnydale. With any luck, the two weren’t connected. But Giles didn’t like leaving anything to luck, especially not when it came to the hellmouth – or, as Wesley put it “commodities under his control.”
And he’d used the plural. Meaning more than one. And the only ‘commodities’ Giles had seemingly under his control were the girls and Spike. Not that any of them would admit to being under his control, either.
Wiping his glasses, Giles surveyed the pile of books laid out on the table before him. It was now an hour and a half and knowing Spike’s timing, he and Buffy would arrive just as the Chinese did. Directing Dawn to help him pile up the books, Giles sent a plea heaven-ward that Xander wouldn’t react the same way he’d done this morning. Another confrontation he didn’t look forward too.
Taking Tara’s, Dawn’s and Anya’s cautions about Willow to heart, Giles had spent part of the afternoon watching her. And unfortunately, he was beginning to agree with their assessment. She was . . . tainted was the first word that came to mind. Somehow, the innocent insecure Willow had been replaced with this creature he was sure he didn’t know. Oh he was certain it wasn’t a demonic possession, not even a ghostly one. It was more like a shadow of Willow, or rather, the darkest part of Willow’s personality was coming to the fore, overtaking the sweet over-achiever he’d first met in the high school library. And Giles didn’t think this was a normal part of growing up, of gaining maturity. It was almost a bit like what he’d gone through when he’d rebelled against parental control and dabbled with magic beyond his control, but not beyond his reach. Hopefully Willow wouldn’t start conjuring demons.
Abruptly, Giles realized what Willow had done, opening an untold number of dimensions at the hellmouth couldn’t possibly be any better. In fact, was most likely worse.
He was still sitting there stunned when the bell over the door rang, and Spike walked in, followed by Buffy and the Chinese delivery. Glad he’d only made a mental wager with himself, Giles hid a smile when Tara handed Dawn five dollars.
Grinning up at him in a moment of unspoken solidarity, Dawn danced the bill in the air, and he had to laugh.
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Dinner was a quiet affair for once. Giles had no desire to divulge his information with everyone present, and the others, at least Xander and Willow, had no idea the direction of his research. He had no intention of telling either of them in any case. He would disclose everything to the blond pair, but something held him back from bringing it up while they were eating. He suddenly had no desire to talk about anything important in the shop.
Besides, both Buffy and Spike were in uncommonly good moods, and he didn’t want to break it, at least not just yet. So keeping the talk general and not slayer related, Giles watched the relationships unfolding around his table.
It was obvious to anyone watching that Willow and Tara’s relationship was about to implode. Tara barely spoke to her girlfriend, directing playful banter at Spike, listening carefully to Buffy and mothering Dawn, and Willow was patently unaware of the shift. Spike had barely spoken to the red-head and Buffy almost completely ignored her. Fallout, from the retrieval, no doubt.
Xander sat as far away from Spike as possible, which, unfortunately for Xander, brought him face to face with him, albeit the table width between them. Both men were sporting new bruises, but it looked like Xander had borne the brunt of the fighting. Watching the half-hearted interaction between Xander and Anya, Giles had the sinking feeling that they were also headed for an upset. Really, a girl like Anya could probably do much better.
That left Buffy and Spike. They were funny, already stealing food from the other’s plates, Spike subtly feeding Buffy by making her taste this and that, all slipping by unnoticed. And the really remarkable thing was that neither one of them left Dawn out, she was included in their circle without any extra effort. She stole equally from the pair, and they treated her like the playful child she was. Giles was suddenly reminded of that night, when Willow’s ‘will be done’ spell had backfired. Had it really? When it came to these two, Giles wasn’t so sure. Perhaps it just allowed unacknowledged feelings to surface. He hadn’t seen them that night, but his hearing had been fine, and they sounded, to the best of his recollection, almost exactly the same. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Maybe there was more to Buffy’s inexplicable attraction to vampires than the Council was willing to admit. Maybe – he needed to look into this also, after he figured out what was happening on the hellmouth.
As he’d sat there musing, dinner had winded down, and seizing upon a perfect opportunity to get Buffy and Spike alone, away from eavesdropping friends and nosey little sisters, Giles asked “since neither of you is up for solitary patrol, how about I accompany you both?”
Knowing a ploy for a secret meeting when he heard it, Spike glanced once at Buffy, and in the silent communication some couples have, got her agreement and said “sure Watcher, if you think you can keep up with the walking wounded.”
Xander hadn’t even offered and while Dawn whined a bit, for once Spike was unbending. “Not tonight, Niblet, not up for protecting non-combatants. Need you to stay indoors, safe and sound.”
When she started to protest, Spike just dug in his heels. He wasn’t normally so forceful with her, but she was pushing his buttons, and Spike wasn’t entirely sure how Buffy was going to be on patrol.
Gritting his teeth, Spike looked at her, pointedly saying, “Dawn. . . not . . . tonight . . . don’t . . . ask . . . again.”
Unspoken was, otherwise I won’t ever let you patrol again, whether or not Buffy agreed.
Grumpy, she flounced back into her chair, unappeased by Tara’s offer to sit up and watch movies together.
However, the additional offer of ice cream was grudgingly accepted.
******************************** ****************************************
“She’ll get over it. Trust me.” Spike tried again, after Buffy’s third repetition of “Dawn’s pissed at you.”
“Believe me kitten, ‘s not the first time and nowhere near the last, but your sis needs to be told no once in a while. And she needs to know I’m not the pushover she thinks I am.”
Buffy stopped short, causing both men to turn around.
“What?”
“Do you realize how parental that sounds?” There was real amusement in her voice as she realized how Spike felt about her sister.
Scratching the back of his neck, Spike looked down at his feet. Without looking at Giles, he mumbled “‘s how I feel sometimes.”
Which came as no real surprise to Rupert. But it obviously was to Buffy because she gaped at him, unable to find any words that wouldn’t upset him.
“Dunno if its right, but she’s had it rough. Your dad disappearing, your mum going all sickly round about the time Niblet discovered who she is, then first Joyce dying . . . and that Glory bint . . . and you.” Spike stood there, trying to explain how he felt, while the other two just waited him out.
“She was lost, feeling alone and . . . that no one was there to protect her or help her . . . no offense Rupert, “ realizing he might be insulting the other man, Spike tried to make unnecessary amends.
“None taken. You are right.” Giles gestured for him to continue.
“Jus’ felt like she needed me. And, she’s not my blood, but” and he paused, searching for the right words, “in a way, she’s mine.”
He’d no idea how his halting speech affected Buffy until he looked up to see her wiping away tears. If there were any doubts in her about continuing this relationship, Buffy felt more of them crumble to dust.
Before they’d discovered the memories were a plant, Riley had treated Dawn like a necessary evil, had to be nice to her because she was Buffy’s sister, and the way Angel had treated her didn’t really count, but it did, because Dawn mattered. And now, there was Spike, standing here, telling her that he loved her not because Dawn was her sister, but because she was Dawn. And he loved her. Really. It was plainly, painfully clear that Spike loved Dawn like his own blood family.
Suddenly she knew she’d made the right decision all those months ago, entrusting her own flesh and blood to this man. Knew it like she knew her own name.
Wordlessly she closed the short distance between them, her arms opening to gather him close.
“Oh Spike. You know she loves you too.”
“Yeah.” Looking helplessly down at the woman in his arms, Spike laughed at himself. “I do know.”
Giles turned away, giving them a moment of privacy.
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