Two days had passed since Spike's return and he still hadn't seen Buffy. He could understand why he didn't on the day of his return. He was exhausted from his trip and had to attend his remaining few classes for that day. Afterwards, he returned to his dorm room for some much needed rest. He called her when he woke up, expecting to leave a message since he knew she would be at work but when she answered the phone, he immediately asked her what was wrong. She told him nothing but Spike could always tell when something was wrong with his girl. He didn't believe her until she finally told him she wasn't feeling well. Jokingly, he offered to bring her chicken soup. He laughed but stopped when she wasn't laughing with him. He knew there was something she wasn't telling him. Rather than persist, he let her get some rest and told her he would see her soon. Whatever it was, she would tell him in due time.
*~~~*
"Here you go" Anya handed Buffy a piece of dry plain toast and a glass of warm ginger ale.
Buffy grabbed the glass and small plate. "Thanks An".
"Do you need anything else before I go?"
"No, you've done enough. Thanks for covering my shift again. I owe you one."
"Two and you damn right you do and I plan on collecting."
Buffy smiled then took a bite out of the toast. Anya had been a great friend. Over the past two days, Buffy hadn't been feeling well. She missed a few classes and two days of work. Ever since she found out she was pregnant she was tired and hungry all the time and was unable to keep anything down. She was throwing up as soon as she swallowed anything, and urinating every ten minutes. Anya suggested she try toast, crackers and ginger ale. It seemed to do the trick.
Anya had given Buffy a weak smile. She got up from the edge the bed and walked towards the door then stopped to turn around to look at her sickly friend. "Have you decided what you're going to do yet?"
Buffy could barely look her friend in the eye, taking a sip of ginger ale and another bite of toast.
"I'll take that as a no." Anya huffed. "Have you even told Spike yet?"
Buffy shook her head then sat the cup and plate on her nightstand before sinking back down into the pillows. She wanted to pull the covers over her head, hoping when she pulled them off all this would be a dream.
"Buffy!!" Anya yelled, what the hell are you waiting for? It's been two days already and whether you want to or not. You have to deal with this."
"You know I haven't been feeling well and I'm waiting for the right moment."
Anya was pissed her friend still hadn't made a decision. She was convinced Buffy was in denial. Someone needed to put a fire under her friend's ass. "You are so full of shit and you know it. You've been skipping out on your classes, missing work, and avoiding Spike. You're being irresponsible... again. Damn it Buffy haven't you learned anything? You need to grow up and deal with this now."
"All right!! Buffy shouted. "You're right and I will."
"I mean it Buffy...grow up."
"I'm going to tell him today."
"I hope so." Anya replied. She walked out the door, hoping Spike would help Buffy make the right decision.
Buffy watched her friend leave then pulled the covers over her head.
*~~~*
"I got it. I bloody got it." Spike shouted quickly getting Xander's attention as soon as the brunette entered the room with a load of laundry in his hands.
"You shitten me. You got it. You really got it."
"My agent just called. He said they loved me and they're drawing up the contracts now."
"How much?"
"You may want to sit down for this part mate. Are you ready?"
"Wait" Xander had put down his laundry basket then sat down on his bed. "Okay...wait." He changed seats, moving from the bed to his desk chair. "Okay now I'm ready."
"$300,000"
Xander jumped up from his seat, screaming with his pal. He grabbed Spike and hugged him. They both started jumping up and down. Xander shouted. "We're rich, we're rich." Then abruptly stopped, when he felt the twinkie he had eaten while waiting for his clothes to dry, was about to come up. He backed away and sat down but once the urge to throw up subsided, he was back to shouting they were rich.
"Not rich mate, but I want be eating out of a garbage can anytime soon while I'm living in LA." Spike placed his hands behind his head, lying back on his bed.
"So give me the details...when do you leave to shoot the movie?" Xander asked, rubbing his hands together as if he was warming them by a fire.
Suddenly, Spike wasn't smiling anymore.
"What's wrong?" Xander asked.
"The movie shoots in Canada. I'll be gone for three months then I have to be in LA soon after for follow up work and that's another two to three months."
Xander shrugged. "So what's the problem?"
"The problem is I have to drop out of school."
"So drop out. Man you're going to be a movie star."
"I have to leave Buffy."
"Oh come on. Don't get me wrong. Buffy's a great girl but she'll understand."
For some reason, Spike was getting the feeling Xander was talking about something more. He needed his friend to elaborate. "What are you saying?"
"You know exactly what I'm saying. You have to break up with her." Xander removed the laundry basket and assumed the same position as Spike on his bed.
"You're off your nut. I'm not breaking up with Buffy."
"Lets look at the facts here...shall we. You're leaving for Canada." Xander looked over at Spike for the answer."
"The movie starts shooting in a two weeks."
"Right... after that you have to find a place to live and go on auditions until its time to promote the movie which means endless interviews, appearances and parties. You want have time for her. Chicks really get upset when you don't call them." Xander turned to look at Spike again. Did I mention the women in LA are hot? Once they find out you have a movie coming out, you're going to have to beat them off with a stick. You will be the man."
Spike knew Xander was making perfect sense. Ever since freshman year things had been working out great for him. He even got some small roles in a few movies. Sure they all went straight to DVD but those roles furnished him with an awesome resume and tones of acting experience over the last three in the half years. He had made a little money from the various roles and saved a lot of it. He was going to buy a car, find a place to live, and become a famous actor but even if he didn't become famous he would settle for a working actor. He had played the scenario over and over again in his mind. He had spent so much time perfecting his art he avoided getting into serious relationships, settling for short-term flings. Besides, he was young and couldn't see the point in tieing himself down to one chick but cupid had other plans. Buffy, his blonde goddess, had stolen his heart. She was the closet thing to perfection for him.
Xander looked over at his friend, wondering why he was so quite. He sat up and snapped his fingers. "Hey are you in there?"
Spike turned to him. "Yeah I was just thinking."
"Thinking how Buffy is the right girl for you but that she came along at the wrong time."
"I really hate it when you're right."
"I'm your yoda man." Xander got off the bed and started putting away his laundry. "Now snap out of this mood. You already said you're not dumping her. I'm sure you two will work something out." He put away the last of his laundry then leaned against his dresser, folding his arms across his chest. "What you need to be thinking about is where we're going to celebrate. I think we should go to the Bronze. Buffy should go with us too and tell her to bring her friend Anya.."
Spike rolled his eyes. "Why don't you just ask her out on a date yourself?"
Xander turned to admire himself in the mirror. "I will in due time but I have to make sure she's ready for the Xan man before I make my move." He licked his fingers then smoothed out his eyebrows.
"Xan man?" Spike questioned raising his an eyebrow.
The brunette looked at his friend through the mirror. "What?" He asked, holding his hands out in front of him.
Spike shook his head while his friend continued to check himself out in the mirror. He stared up at the ceiling while making a mental list of things he needed to do before he left for Canada. Buffy was first on that list. There were some things they needed to talk about. Can their relationship survive the long distance? Should they break up but still keep in touch? He didn't know but once they talked he was sure things would become a lot clearer. He closed his eyes, getting further lost in his thoughts until a knock at the door brought him back.
"Who is it?" Xander asked.
"Its Buffy."
The brunette enthusiastically opened the door. "Hey it's the Buffster." He shouted.
"I can see that mate." Spike said, sitting up on his bed.
Buffy greeted Xander with a smile then said hello. She walked into the room turning her attention from the brunette to her gorgeous blonde boyfriend who was looking quite scrumptious sitting on his bed. Her stomach was in knots, which wasn't good considering she still felt like shit. Spike hugged her off her feet and the warm loving greeting made her want to cry but she fought back the tears.
"I was just about to call you, pet. I have some great news."
"I'll leave you two alone and Spike don't forget" Xander said, walking towards the door.
Spike placed Buffy back on her feet. He crinkled his brow at the statement his friend had made. "Forget about what."
Xander tilted his head, giving his blonde friend a pissed off look. "You know."
Spike knew exactly what his friend was talking about. He wanted to play with him a little bit. He stood there gesturing with his head like he still didn't know what Xander was talking about. The brunette made the same gesture again but it was much more intense. He didn't want to remind Spike out loud in front of Buffy.
Finally deciding to put his friend out of his misery, he winked at him. Xander huffed out the door.
"What was that all about?"
"Xander wants you to invite Anya to the Bronze with his tonight."
"And why are we going to the Bronze?"
"To celebrate."
Buffy looked at him, waiting to hear what they were celebrating.
"Before I tell you, let me do this."
Spike lowered his head, kissing Buffy on the lips and then pulled away. "I've missed you." He whispered then leaned in for more but she pulled away.
"What's wrong?"
Buffy answered his question with a question of her own. "So what are we celebrating?"
Her question did temporary distract him. A huge smile appeared on Spike's face.
"I got the part, pet. I'm finally going to be in a movie that want go straight to video."
"Wow that's great." Buffy turned around when she felt her eyes well up with tears. There was no way she could tell him now that she was pregnant and ruin his good news.
Spike stopped smiling. He tilted his head to the side. "Buffy?"
"So I guess you'll be leaving soon huh?" Buffy started to wipe the tears from her eyes.
"Yeah about that, pet"
Buffy didn't like the way Spike's voice sounded but she couldn't turn around to face him.
"I have to go to Canada."
"Canada!!!" Buffy shouted before turning around.
Spike's eyes opened wide at the sight of Buffy's tear stained face.
"Hey why the tears, pet. Its not like I'm not coming back." Spike approached Buffy, pulling her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and more tears started coming along with a few sobs.
Spike couldn't believe how much she was crying. He didn't expect her to react this way to his news.
"Sweetheart, I know it's going to be hard but I think we can survive it. Please stop crying...it's killing me, luv."
Buffy couldn't keep letting Spike think she was crying because he had to leave. She had to tell him, trying to find the words. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes then lost the nerve.
Spike wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb. "I'll call you every chance I get and we can write and you'll visit me."
"Spike, I'm pregnant." She blurted out.
Spike released his hold on her and backed away to Buffy's disappointment.
"No...when...how...I mean I know how but I thought." He was at a loss for words, staring at Buffy for answers.
She stepped to him but he backed away from her. She looked at him with questioning eyes. She didn't like the distance he was putting between them.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like I'm the most horrible thing you've ever seen."
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"Don't you mean we?"
Spike didn't like the tone in her question. He had said something wrong.
"Of course pet." He remained silent.
"Well"
"Well what, luv?"
"How do you feel about it?"
Spike knew he had to be careful not to say the wrong thing. "Do you want to keep it?"
Buffy's heart sank when Spike didn't answer her question; making it obvious he wasn't happy about it.
"I thought about keeping it."
"What about school and work?"
"Jesus you sound like Anya."
"Anya, you told Anya before you told me...who else knows?"
"Nobody". Buffy could feel herself getting angry at Spike. She didn't expect him to be so distant and unconcerned. Where was the question about how was she feeling? Hell, she would have settled for him asking how far along she was?
"What's your problem?"
"What do you mean? I don't have a problem."
"I tell you I'm pregnant and the only thing you seemed to be concerned about is who else knows."
"Look it's a bit of a shock for me. I need some time to let this sink in."
"Let it sink in. Is that it...that's all you have to say!"
"I really don't know what to say!"
"You got that right," She mumbled under her breath.
Spike had heard what she said. "Christ Buffy what the bloody hell do you want me to say!"
"You don't have to shout."
"Well you're shouting at me!"
The couple stared at each other neither of them knew what to say anymore. Buffy took a few steps back then turned around to walk out the door. She slammed it behind her.
Spike couldn't bring himself to follow her. He leaned against the wall, sliding down the hard surface to sit down. He folded his arms across his knees and lowered his head. He had said all the wrong things. He should have been honest with her from the start. He didn't want to raise a kid at this point in his life especially when his acting career was getting back on track. If this movie was a success, he was going to ride the wave of fame and everything that came with it. If he'd just stuck with his plan not to get seriously involved with anyone, this would not have happened. He managed three years without having a girlfriend. Then Buffy comes along, making him go against everything he said he wouldn't do, like falling in love. Xander was right. There was no doubt in his mind Buffy was the right girl for him just at the wrong time.
Xander knocked on the door then turned the knob. Since it wasn't locked, he figured the two lovebirds weren't making hot monkey love. His smile faded when he saw his best friend sitting on the floor and that Buffy was gone.
"Hey man...why so down?"
"Buffy's pregnant"
"WHAT!!!...What a minute, wait a minute. Did you say what I think you just said? Buffy's pregnant."
"That's what I said, mate."
Xander was shocked. "Weren't you guys using something?"
"She's on the pill."
"Then how...I thought when you took those things. It was almost impossible to get pregnant. This is bad man... this is bad. Is she going to keep it?"
"I think so."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"I want kids but not now. Especially not now since things are starting to happen for me. Should've stuck to the plan."
"Dude, I hate to say it but I told you so. Maybe you should have stuck it out with Faith."
Spike had given his friend an annoyed look. "Shut up, Xander"
*~~~*
Buffy had driven to the park, sitting down on the bench to people watch and to clear her head. Things didn't go so well with Spike and it was all her fault. He had asked what she wanted from him and all she had to say was that she wanted him to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be all right. Instead she walked out, getting upset with him because he couldn't read her mind.
She wasn't paying any attention to the numerous people that walked by her until she got up to leave. She spotted a mother and a father playing with their two children. They looked so happy together. She couldn't help but smile at the picture perfect sight as she walked by them on the way to her car. She wanted that some day, knowing it was unrealistic of her to think she could have a baby and give it the best possible life when she had a maturity level of a kid herself, no full-time job, no degree, and no father. She watched the family while she sat in her car and wiped away her tears. She had made her decision. She wasn't going to keep the baby and she needed to talk to Spike to apologize for being such a hormonal bitch.
When she arrived him, Oz and Amy were sitting in the living room watching TV. They both turned and looked at her at the same time. The looks on their faces prompted Buffy to ask them was something wrong.
"Is everything all right with you?" Amy asked.
"I'm okay." Buffy lied. She didn't want anyone else to know about her situation especially since she decided to have an abortion.
"That's good" Amy replied then turned her attention back to the TV.
"There is a message on the answering machine from Spike." Oz said.
Buffy walked into the kitchen and pressed play.
"Buffy I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I want you to know I will be there for you and support whatever decision you make. Xander and I are going to the Bronze. Please meet me there so we can talk."
There was a pause. "Oh, Xander told me to tell you to bring Anya."
Buffy was glad he called but she was the one who needed to apologize. She called Anya at work. They were going to go to the Bronze after her shift ended which was in four hours. In the mean time, Buffy was going to take a nap.
*~~~*
Spike and Xander walked into the Bronze and found some seats. They made sure they sat at a table that had two extra chairs.
"Tonight all drinks are on me. You can pay me back when you get that fat six figure check."
Spike wasn't feeling the place. "I changed my mind Xander, lets go some place else."
"Why? You told Buffy to meet you here and don't forget she's going to bring Anya."
"I don't think she is going to come. She was really mad at me."
"She's going to show. You two are made for each other." Xander put his arm around Spike's shoulder. "Lets have a few drinks, play some pool and chill out. This is a celebration man. You're going to be famous." Xander signaled for the waitress. He ordered six shots of tequila. They played pool, darts, flirted and downed more shots. Xander knew his limit; stopping after his sixth shoot but that didn't stop Spike.
"Are you Irish?"
"No, why do you ask mate?"
Xander was buzzing, losing his train of thought. "uhhh, I forgot." Both men laughed.
"I'm going to dance. See ya" Xander said.
Spike was drunk. He laid his head on the table so he didn't have to look at the room spinning around any more.
"My poor little Spike."
Spike recognized the voice. It was Drusilla. He looked up and smiled.
"Hello Dru, It's been a long time."
"Too long...I've missed you. Have you been hiding from me?"
"Now why would I want to hide from someone as lovely as you, pet."
"Well if I'm so lovely why haven't you called?"
"I'm sorry pet. I've been busy with school."
"Bad Spike. You shouldn't tell lies. I know about your little blonde. She's quite pretty. What's her name?"
"I knew I couldn't pull one over on you, pet. Her name is Buffy."
"What a funny name? So why isn't this Buffy here to take care of you. You're not looking so well."
"She's mad at me."
"Has my Spike been a bad boy?"
"Always". Spike had given the brunette beauty a mischievous smile.
Drusilla mirrored his smile. The only thing better than a horny Spike was a drunken horny Spike.
"Lets go," She said, helping him up.
Xander spotted his friend talking to Drusilla. He had a worried look on his face. He was about to walk off the dance floor until he spotted a cute blonde dancing by herself and made his way over to her. After she dissed him, he turned his attention back to Spike but he was gone. He shrugged and started dancing by himself again.
*~~~*
Buffy and Anya walked into the Bronze and Buffy immediately started feeling queasy from all the cigarette smoke and the smell of booze. She knew her stay wasn't going to be long. She wanted to find Spike quickly and get the hell out of there. She spotted Xander on the dance floor. She tapped Anya on the shoulder and pointed in his direction. Anya smiled. She liked Xander and she was glad he wanted to see her. They both walked over to him. Buffy tapped him on the shoulder.
Xander turned around. "Hey Buffy" He said and then he saw Anya. He cleared his throat. "Hello, Anya"
"Hi Xander" The infatuated couple stared at each other like giddy teenagers.
"Where's Spike?" Buffy asked.
"I think he went back to the dorms. He was pretty down. He didn't think you would show." However the truth was, Xander didn't know where Spike was.
Buffy was disappointed Spike wasn't there but she couldn't blame him for thinking that. She wished she had called him to let him know she was coming.
"Anya, are you going to be okay. I'm going to the dorms."
The blushing girl asked Xander was she going to be okay.
"She's in good hands Buffy. I'll make sure she gets home safely." Xander looked at Anya. "Do you want to dance?"
"Of course."
Buffy hurried out the club.
*~~~*
Spike had trouble focusing on putting the key in the lock.
"Dru darling can you help me?" She had taken the key out of his hand and quickly ushered Spike into his room.
He still could barely walk. She was hoping he would have sobered up on the drive to his dorm. Now she was going to have to rely on her feminine wiles to do the trick. She had sat him down on his bed without having any trouble figuring out which side was his. Spike was incredibly neat. She removed his boats and started unbuttoning his shirt.
"What are you doing?"
"Hush now. I'm just making you comfortable."
Dru only managed to get Spike's shirt half way off before he passed out on the bed.
"Spike...Spike" She shook him and then tapped him on the cheek. "Spike"
Dru wanted Spike bad but there was no way she could shag him while he was unconscious. It seemed too desperate so she called Angel. Lucky for her he was in his room. She didn't bother placing Spike's feet on the bed, leaving him in the same pathetic position. She looked at herself in the mirror before exiting his room, noticing the cute blonde stepping off the elevator. It was Buffy and the perfect opportunity for her to start some trouble.
"Our boy is so insatiable." She said before stepping onto the elevator.
The brunette's words stunned Buffy because she knew the meaning behind them. She recognized the brunette as the girl she saw Spike talking to a long time ago in front of Cordy's dorm. She had never forgotten that day. It was the first time she and Spike made eye contact. The look in his eyes was enough to masturbate to. Buffy was crushed. How could he she thought, walking pass his room to take the stairs out of the building. She got into her car and cried all the way home.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
It has been two months since I last updated this story. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter. I'm interested in what you have to say so leave a review. Since I'm where I want to be with my other WIP, I have more time to dedicate to this one.