Author's Chapter Notes:
Warning: This chapter deals with the sensitive subject of abortion.
If someone were to ask Xander what was the best thing that ever happened to him, he would have to say tonight. He and Anya had danced the night away and he was still dancing as he approached his dorm room. He put his key in the lock and turned it but the door was already unlocked. When he entered his room the first thing he noticed was his best friend laying on his side with his arms twisted in his shirt. Xander placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head. The laughable sight pretty much told him Spike had gotten shit faced and must have passed out. The brunette placed his keys on his dresser then walked over to his friend. He pulled Spike's arms out of his shirt then felt the blonde grab his hand affectionately.

"Buffy luv, take your time we got all night." Spike mumbled before falling back into his stupor.

"Oh no we don't." Xander replied, pulling his hand away quickly. He wanted to make his friend more comfortable on the bed but was afraid if he touched him again, he would become his bitch so he grabbed Spike by the ankles and placed his legs on the bed. Xander watched Spike curl up into the fetal position. The brunette pulled the blanket off his bed and covered his friend with it.

Xander removed his smoky clothes and climbed into bed. He was too excited to close his eyes because thoughts of Anya wouldn't let him. He smiled, thinking about the time they spent at Denny's after closing down the Bronze. They talked for what seemed like hours. Well she did most of the talking he just listened. He was both shocked and amused by the things that came out of her mouth. One thing he learned about Anya was that she held nothing back. He liked that about her, finding it very refreshing that she spoke her mind. She certainly was different from all the other girls he had dated which weren't many and as far as he was concern there weren't going to be anymore. Anya was the only girl for him. When he pulled into her driveway, they sat in the car and shared their first kiss that turned into many kisses, giving Xander the courage to ask her out on a date. He was elated when she accepted.

*~~~*

Buffy nibbled on crackers and drank water while waiting patiently for Anya to come home. She couldn't sleep and she needed someone to talk to. When she saw headlights, she peeked through the blinds. It was Xander's car. She had expected Anya to walk through the door at any minute but after what seemed like hours, she decided to go to bed. She smiled, thinking the two had really hit it off and were making out in the car. As Buffy approached the stairs, the door opened and she couldn't resist the urge to tease her friend.

"Anya and Xander sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G." She sang, walking towards her blushing friend. "I take it the night went well for you."

"Tonight was awesome and Xander is a very good kisser." Anya had a smile from ear to ear. She grabbed Buffy by the hands and escorted her to the couch. "We went to breakfast and we talked and we laughed. You know Xander is a really a very funny guy and sexy too."

"Sexy...now that is a term I would have never associated with Xander."

"Oh yeah and I think I'm going to have lots of orgasms with him."

"TMI" Buffy said. Both women laughed then tried to quite each other so they didn't wake up their other roommates.

"Hey wait a minute. What are you doing up so late?"

Buffy had stopped smiling then held her head down.

"Is everything all right?"

"No" She looked up at Anya. "Spike pulled a Riley."

The brunette didn't say anything right away, staring at Buffy as if waiting for her to say something else. When she didn't, Anya shrugged. "Am not surprised."

"Anya!!!"

"What? He's a guy and that's what they do. They have trouble keeping it in their pants. So who did he screw?"

"This girl. I don't even know her name but I remember her face. It never occurred to me to ask him about her when we got together. Spike never volunteered information about other girls he had dated."

"Didn't want to know the number huh?"

Buffy shrugged. "Maybe" She placed her legs under herself before she continued. "I only seen her once. It was on the day when I moved in here. After our little get together, I dropped Cordy off in front of her dorm and as I was about to leave, I spotted Spike talking to her."

"Do you think she lives in the dorm?" Anya shifted on the couch, sitting Indian style.

"I doubt it. I've spent so much time there with Cordy I think I would have noticed somebody that looked like that."

"Is she ugly?"

Buffy hesitated.

Anya had taken her friend's hesitation as a sign the girl wasn't attractive. "That's even worse. Why do guys always cheat with girls that look like trolls?"

"I guess the trolls are easy but I wouldn't say she's a troll?"

"So she's cute?"

"She's taller than me but not by much. She has long dark hair, dark eyes and porcelain white skin."

"Sounds like a vampire...she can't be pretty."

"I would say she's exotic. Oh and she has a British accent like Spike."

"Well that explains the pale skin. England never gets any sun. So when you saw him with her what did you do? Tell me you cursed them both out along with a slap, a punch and a kick."

"Well I didn't catch him with her."

"Did he confess?"

"No, I didn't talk to Spike."

Anya crinkled her brow, looking at Buffy with questioning eyes. "Then what happened?"

"I saw her when I was getting off the elevator and she said something like, 'isn't he insatiable."

"That's it...what did you say to her?"

"Nothing, I was too shocked."

"I don't get it. You don't know her but she says this to you and right off the bat you assume she's talking about Spike."

"Right"

"I don't know about this Buffy. She probably got you mixed up with someone else."

"Who else could she have been talking about? She was on his floor and I know he knows her."

"Fine...let's say she was talking about Spike. What are you going to do about it?"

Buffy was holding her head down. "I don't know. Things are going from bad to worse with him right now."

"Karma"

Quickly the blonde looked up. "What did you say?"

"Its karma. You stole Spike from Faith and now he cheats on you with the vampire."

"I didn't steal Spike away from Faith." Buffy remained quite, letting what Anya said sink into her brain. "You really think that's what happening right now."

"Absolutely, I hope you don't think that what you two did want have its consequences. Your relationship was doomed before it even got started."

Buffy shifted. Anya's statement was making her uncomfortable.

"I know this is probably not what you want to hear but how can you expect to have a descent relationship with him when the basis of your relationship was built on deception? You betrayed Cordy by seeing him when she told you not to and you knew he was seeing Faith...so you betrayed her too. Now I know Faith has her flaws, but it doesn't justify what you and Spike did to her. Although it does make sense on the karmic wheel, she was doing dirt too and you just happen to be the person who dished it out to her by stealing her man."

Anya was right it wasn't what she wanted to hear. Her friend was sounding like Cordy, bringing back old feelings of anger she had for the brunette at that time. "Well thank you doctor for telling me the problem with my relationship. Before I get off your couch, is there anything else you want to enlighten me about?"

Buffy's sarcastic statements didn't offend Anya. They only fueled her to keep talking. "Now that you mention it, I do. Take Spike for instance. Now here is a guy who is drop dead gorgeous and smells really good. I will even go as far as to say he is one of the top studs at Sunnydale University who, at the time, was screwing a girl you knew. Everything is going good between you two then boom." Anya clapped her hands together. "You get pregnant."

"But that's my fault."

"Doesn't matter whose fault it is Buffy. It happened. Now be quite, I'm not done yet. Now Spike gets a major part in a movie, which is good by the way but he has to drop out of school when he's only a few months away from graduating. Now you tell me this isn't Karma and I'll shut my trap."

Buffy was about to speak but didn't. There was no way she could dispute what Anya was saying. She needed to make things right with herself, starting with making an appointment with the clinic and concentrating on school and work. As for Spike, she wasn't going to tolerate being cheated on again so things with them would have to end.

Anya knew talking to Buffy about the pregnancy was a touchy subject but she had to go there whether her friend liked it or not.

"You didn't tell me how Spike took the news."

"He was like a zombie...in shock I guess. We wound up arguing and I walked out on him. When I left you with Xander, I was going to apologize and tell him that I had made a decision." Buffy had gotten quite.

"So what did you decide?"

A single tear had fallen from Buffy's eye. "I'm not going to keep it." She covered her hands over her face and more tears started to fall.

Anya pulled her close. "Everything is going to be okay. I'm here for you. Have you called the clinic to make an appointment?"

Buffy pulled away from her friend, wiping her eyes. "I was going to do it first thing this morning."

"Well let's get some sleep and we'll take care of it then."

"Thanks Anya"

"Hey what are friends for."? The brunette climbed off the couch and stretched.

Buffy was still sitting on the couch.

"Anya"

"Yeah"

"Will you go with me?"

"Of course I will."

Buffy stood up and hugged her friend.

*~~~*

Spike had woken up to the worse singing he had ever heard. His head was killing him, his mouth was dry and his eyesight was blurry but his hearing was perfect. He looked over at his friend who was apparently singing "Every Woman In The World" by Air Supply.

Xander was Spike's best friend but a singer he was not. "Thinking about changing your major, mate."

The brunette turned around. "It's alive...its alive. Man, I thought you'd never wake up."

"What time is it?"

"Around noon...you missed a couple of classes but who cares right...you're dropping out anyway." Xander continued to sing.

"Xander" he called out but the brunette didn't hear him. "Xander!!" He shouted. "Please I can't take it anymore."

"What you don't like my singing or just my choice in song. How about this instead rock, rock, rock, rock, rocking roll high school... rock, rock, rock, rock, rocking roll high school." The brunette stopped and started laughing.

Spike chuckled. "That's better but its sacrilege to make fun of The Ramones. I forbid you to ever sing that song again in my presence including that other one."

It was Xander's turn to chuckle at his friend this time. "So how did it go with Buffy last night?"

"What are you talking about Xander?"

"Buffy...you know your girlfriend."

"I know that she's my girlfriend you twit but I still don't know what you're talking about."

"She and Anya showed up at the Bronze last night. She asked me where you were. I thought maybe you went back to the dorms and she hurried out to find you." Xander quickly changed the subject. "Man that Anya is some girl. We had a great time and she agreed to go on a date with me. Xander looked at himself in the mirror, wetting his fingers to smooth out his eyebrows. "The Xan man had it going on last night. She was unable to resist my charms." Xander looked at Spike through the mirror, seeing his friend deep in thought. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm trying to remember what happened last night."

"You were pretty shit faced and I saw you talking to Dru last night. I haven't seen her around campus in a while. Oh I forgot...she only comes out at night. I'm telling you man. She's hot but seriously the chick needs to get some sun. You would think living in California would help her out" Xander stopped talking then looked at his friend.

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Its funny now that I think about it. You're a little pale yourself. Now I see the attraction. You're both vampires." Xander made a cross with his fingers, ordering Spike to get back.

"Very funny Xander. I talked to her last night but that's all I remember. I don't even remember how I got back here."

"Xander turned around to face his friend. "Well, I doubt that you walked so she must have been the one who brought you back here."

"Maybe she did" Spike tried to remember what happened last night but kept drawing a blank. He looked down at himself. He noticed his shirt was off but his pants were still on, eliminating the thought that he had slept with Drusilla. However to make sure, he checked his body for scratches and bites. When he didn't find any, he exhaled. Then he started to wonder what happen to Buffy.

"I need to talk to Buffy."

"May I suggest you shower and brush your teeth first."

"I'm glad you thought of that Xander. What would I do with out you?"

"You need to eat something too. It will help you get rid of your hang over. I was about to go to the student union for lunch.... go with me."

"Sounds good...give me twenty minutes." Xander could smell Spike's breath. He fanned the offensive odor away. "Take an hour"

*~~~*

Buffy was able to get an appointment for Friday which was in two days. She was hoping to get one for the following week, which was a pay week for her. The nurse told her since she was so close to thirteen weeks she recommended she have the abortion this week. Buffy only had $600.00 in her bank account and the abortion cost $500.00. She hadn't paid her rent for the month or any of her other bills that were due. She needed money and didn't want to borrow it from Anya even though the brunette had offered to loan her the money. Buffy felt she had done enough. She didn't think she could rely on Spike so she called her father and lied to him about what the money was for. Hank was going to send her $500.00 by Western Union and then told her to keep it between them. Buffy knew the only reason he agreed to give her the money was out of guilt. She had taken it hard when she found out her parents were splitting up because of his infidelity.

After hanging up the phone with her dad, Buffy sank down into the pillows of her bed. Anya was lying on the edge of it, staring up at the ceiling. She looked at her friend, gathering the nerve to ask her something she pretty much knew the answer to.

"Anya can I ask you a personal question. If you don't answer it, I'll understand."

The brunette lifted herself up on both elbows. "Shoot"

"Have you ever had one?"

"Yes" She replied but didn't offer any other information. It was a dark period in her life and something she wasn't proud of.

"Did it hurt?"

Anya sat up, pressing her back against the wall as she recalled the memory of having her insides sucked out by a vacuum. "I wouldn't say it hurt but it was very uncomfortable."

"How long did it take?"

Anya remembered when she first walked into the clinic and saw that the place was filled with girls her age and even women her mom's age. They were all in their for the same thing. Nobody smiled or laughed and very few of the women talked. Everyone seemed to be afraid or perhaps even ashamed of why they were there and probably hoping no one they knew was there. "Between the waiting and the counseling."

"Counseling?"

Anya would never forget the middle aged woman who talked to her before she decided to go through with the procedure. The woman's name was Doris Kroger. She had put Anya at ease and even held her hand while the doctor did the procedure. "Yeah they have someone there to talk to you and they explain what you can expect but the actual procedure takes less than hour."

"What about afterwards?"

Anya didn't want to scare Buffy anymore than the blonde already was. The brunette remembered immediately throwing up right after the procedure was done and the gush of blood that came running out of her body. Doris had escorted her to a recovery room where Anya cried her eyes out from the overwhelming feeling of loss that had hit her all of a sudden. Something not even Doris could prepare her for. "All I can say is that I do not want to ever go through anything like that again."

Buffy swallowed hard, feeling a bad case of the butterflies in her stomach. She and Anya hadn't spoken for several long minutes. Anya appeared to be staring off into space with her eyes flooded with tears while Buffy looked down at her stomach.

Catching a tear before it fell from her eyes, Anya was all for changing the subject. She turned to Buffy. "Are you going to tell Spike?"

Buffy looked up. "I don't want to see his face." She said in anger.

"Then tell him over the phone but you got to tell him."

"I will but first lets get something to eat. I'm starving. We can stop at Western Union on our way to class. I've already missed my morning classes and I don't plan on missing anymore."

"Then lets get something at the student union." Anya said.

"Sounds good to me."

*~~~*

"They have that onion thing you like so much on the menu again. Are you going to get it?"

When Xander didn't get an answer, he looked over at his friend. Spike was daydreaming. "Did you hear me?"

"What's that mate?"

"Are you going to be like this all day...just call her or better yet go wait outside one of her classes."

"I'm already ahead of you. Her next class starts in an hour. I have to see her. This waiting is killing me."

Xander glanced over to the entrance of the dinning hall. "Looks like you want have to wait after all buddy"

Spike looked at Xander who gestured for him to look towards the entrance. Anya and Buffy had walked in.

Suddenly, Spike had lost his appetite. "See ya Xander"

"Go get her man"

When Buffy saw Spike approaching, she had suddenly lost her appetite.

"I have to go Anya."

Buffy's words had caught the brunette by surprise. It was only a few seconds ago her friend was telling her about all the things she wanted to eat and then she saw Spike walking towards them. She became angry, thinking about what Buffy had told her earlier about his fucking around.

Anya grabbed Buffy by the arm. "No you don't. You say what you have to say to him and then we're going to get something to eat. You shouldn't leave just because he's here."

"I know but I can't... not right now." She said, pulling away from the brunette until she finally let go.

"Buffy don't go!!" Anya shouted but Buffy was already out the door.

Spike stopped in front of Anya. "Why is she running away from me?"

"You should know. You cheating asshole!!"

"Woman what the bloody hell are you talking about...I didn't cheat on her!!"

"Then who was that girl you were with last night!!"

"What girl?"

"Oh now you want to play dumb. The one that looks like a vampire."

"Dru"

"Dru, Dracula whatever!!!...Buffy knows about her and she doesn't want anything to do with your sorry ass so just leave her alone!!!"

Spike held his tongue even though he wanted to call Anya a meddling twit but realized she was protecting her friend and that his best friend was crazy about her. It wasn't a good thing if they didn't get along for Xander's sake. He rushed pass Anya determined to catch up with Buffy and clear things up. She must have seen him with Drusilla and thought the worse. He exited the building and could see her running in the distance.

"BUFFY!!!!...BUFFY... WAIT!!!!" He shouted. Spike sprinted after her, catching up to her in no time. Buffy...stop!!! All this running can't be good for the ba--."

Buffy stopped before Spike could get the word out of his mouth. She turned to face him. "Don't you say it...don't you dare say it."

"Baby, baby" Spike dropped to his knees. "Our baby" He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed the side of his face to her stomach. "I'm so sorry, luv. I handled it badly but I'm ready to face this now. I meant what I said. I will respect and be there for you which ever decision you make."

"That's just it Spike why does it have to be solely my decision. I need to know how you feel about it. Can you at least give me that?"

Spike stood up and grabbed Buffy by the hand. "Lets go over here, luv." He pointed to a bench. She allowed him to lead her to sit down on the wooden and metal structure. He continued to hold her hand. "To answer your question, luv. I can't tell you what to do with your body. Now to address how I feel about this, I'm not happy about it. I know you were on the pill so I was shocked when you told me you were pregnant. I do want children...someday... but not now."

Buffy was glad he was being honest with her. She wished he had said it when she first told him about the pregnancy. "I didn't give you much of chance, huh?"

"I felt a gust of wind when walked out and slammed the door. I should have gone after you."

"I was such a bitch to you. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted and I'm sorry I wasn't the man I should have been. I love you Buffy and I promise I will never let you down again." Spike pulled Buffy closer to wrap his arms around her but she held her hand out to stop him.

"Speaking of letting me down, who was the bitch you fucked last night." She said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Her name is Drusilla and I didn't fuck her."

Buffy shook her head while her arms remained crossed. "Don't lie to me Spike."

"Buffy I swear nothing happened. Xander and I were at the Bronze as you know and I had too much to drink. She did me favor and took me back to my room where I passed out."

"She said you were insatiable. A word that I would use to describe you when it comes to you know what."

"Pet, I'm not surprised she tried to upset you. She made it clear to me she wasn't happy I stopped seeing her because of you."

"How does she even know about me?"

"She told me she had seen us together a few times."

Buffy believed him and slowly started to relax only to tense up again when she had to express out loud how she felt about Drusilla. "Well the next time the jealous bitch wants to start some trouble. I will be more than happy to accommodate her."

Spike loved Buffy's feistiness. It was such a turn on for him. He smiled at her." "Well listen to you...all ready to pounce." He nuzzled her neck then pulled away. "But you know pet, a woman in your condition shouldn't be fighting."

She tensed up, briefly avoiding eye contact with him before finally turning back to look at him. "Yeah, about that. I've decided not to keep it."

Spike had froze. He was sure Buffy had already made up her mind to keep the baby. "Are you sure that's what you want to do, pet?"

"I think, right now, it's the best decision for both of us. We're both too young and unstable. I want to finish school and have a career then there's your movie career. It just wasn't meant to be. I've already made the appointment."

Spike kissed her on the forehead. "When do we go?"

Quickly, Buffy looked up at him. "You want to go with me."

"Why not?"

"I already asked Anya to go."

"Bullocks...we're going through this together." Spike gathered Buffy in his arms and kissed her on the lips before they embraced each other close.





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