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Chapter 4


Single Quotes = thoughts

When she had first found her way to Sp…William, she had been curious – he had been so different than what she had imagined. Unable to resist – she had drifted back from the heavens and started to watch him.

It had been weird at first – no one saw her and she had felt so very alone, scared even – she had lost almost everything from her life, family and friends and now she felt like she had lost her identity as well. Here she was nothing – just a massive cloud of energy and no identity and there was something about William that made her wish that she had form and meaning; she wanted to talk to him, get to know him and maybe understand why Spike had fought to save Dawn and had fallen in love with a Slayer. And to be really airheady she wanted to talk to him, if only just to hear the cute accent he had. He sounded like Giles and nothing like Spike.

And so she followed him night and day.

And nuh uh, she wasn’t stalking him!

Buffy had followed William all the time and observed him. She wanted to understand how Spike loved so deeply despite being a vampire, and Buffy could see the seeds of that loving nature in the man that Spike had been before he had met up with Dru and her fangs.

His interaction with others broke her heart. They mocked him to his face and also behind his back. But William, the innocent that he was, didn’t realise the cruelty of their remarks. The callous way they treated him gave Buffy had severe flashbacks to High School; it reminded her of how Cordy and her minions had treated others whom they felt were lower in the social pecking order. All of them treated William with such disdain and cruelty that Buffy began to respect the determined young man for going to these parties and laying himself open to their barbs.

But she knew why he did it.

He only saw the good in people and nothing more.

Buffy had only been able to bear to go to two of the High Society balls that he had been invited to – and watching sweet William being run down by all the others had made her so mad, and in a surprising way very protective of him.

He was a gentle and naive man who wanted for nothing more than someone to return his boundless love, and the witch Cecily, the one he had chosen was not worthy of his love – she was beneath him! After those two nights of interminable hell Buffy had stayed away – she wished she could get William to as well, but she had no idea how to talk to him…

It was beginning to frustrate her immensely being near enough to see everything he did and yet not be able to talk to him. Buffy had watched him with his Mom, Anne, and realised the Spike had been a nurturer from before he was turned. It had carried over when the demon had possessed him. Spike had then looked after Dru for god knew how long and then in turn he had cared for all her own family. This was a realisation that had surprised her – yeah, he may have said he was in love with her, but Buffy realised now that he had also loved her Mom and Dawnie.

From what she could tell his mom was real sick, and William was so adorable with her. The mother and son spent hours together talking to each other and enjoying each other’s company. One time Buffy had found William reading a poem he had written to his Mom, and then he had sat at her feet while she sang some old song and it had been so sweet to see them like that. The affection they had for each other was palpable – the way William had leant his head again her knee as she sang to him had tugged at Buffy’s heart.

Slowly Buffy had experimented in trying to show herself and the best she had managed was when Hetty had flipped out and left the house. So caught up in her own struggle to become corporeal, Buffy didn’t see that William had started to get a bit jumpy. She had noticed that he had started reading some freaky assed books – nothing like the poetry books he usually poured over day and night. No, these were books about ghosts – Buffy hadn’t really paid much attention to them and figured it must have been some sort of Victorian fashion.

She did recognise a couple of the writers-- Wilkie Collins and Conan Doyle. They had been stuffed into one of Giles bookcases – not that she had read them. At the memory of Giles and his books, Buffy wondered how the others were doing without her. She hoped that Dawn was being looked after and prayed that Dad hadn’t turned up and taken Dawnie away.

“Oh god!” William’s voice dragged her away from her thoughts about her family and friends. He staggered into the study, where Buffy had curled up in the window seat and had been staring out of the window at the garden to the back of the house.

There was a clink of glass on glass and she turned to peer at William. He stood with his back to her and was pouring himself a glass of whisky. Buffy straightened, surprised at him drinking so early in the day. Over the weeks that she had watched him, the blonde girl had gotten to know his routine quite well and also all his personal habits – and one thing stood out that was totally different about William compared to Spike.

He was not a HUGE drinker. Unlike Spike…

Buffy watched as William drained the glass in one shot and then shuddered at the taste.

“Master William, are you in there?” Ms Jenkins knocked and entered the room. She bobbed a curtsey and then waited for William to speak. The room was silent, except for the ticking of a grandfather clock that stood against the wall.

William stared sightlessly at the shelves filled with books, his face a picture of despair. Buffy hesitantly took a step forward; her hand reached out to touch him and then it dropped when she remembered that she couldn’t comfort him. His shoulders slumped and there was a look of anguish on his face, unlike anything she had ever seen on the gentle poet’s visage before.

‘Oh god! What’s happened?’ Buffy took a step forward and then paused, her head cocked when she realised that William had angled his body to face her. ‘Had he seen something?’

William felt a wave of concern for him rush through his entire being – it was unlike anything he had ever felt before. He turned slightly towards the window, something had moved and he was positive he had seen something out the corner of his eye. When he turned there was nothing there, to his disappointment. But, he sniffed slightly, yes, there was the scent that was so familiar to him now that it’s presence was almost second nature to him.

His guardian Angel was here.

And he felt better for it…

In the past few days; William had gone from thinking he was being haunted to deciding that whatever it was that was around him was his guardian angel. The presence had never once done anything evil – well except for frightening Hetty out of the house – but William suspected that it was more the maid’s decision than anything else.

He had at first only sensed a presence, but as time had passed he had begun to feel things. Concern, then compassion and finally companionship, something that he had never felt from anyone but his dearest Mama. ‘Oh god, what am I going to do…without Mother?’ His hearted ached in fear, the sight of the blood on her lips when she had coughed delicately into her hankie had terrified him. William had realised then that she has much sicker than she had lead him to believe.

Buffy felt the sheer terror that poured of William and nearly stumbled over in surprise – she heard what he was thinking! Buffy stared in shock at the grieving man in front of her and then froze.

She had heard what he was thinking!

What the hell was going on? Nikki hadn’t said anything about a weird ass mind meld – what the hell did Xander call them? Vulcan, that was it! Buffy was pulled away from her mental rambling with the horrified realisation that William had said ‘without Mother’. Buffy quailed at the saddening thought. Anne couldn’t be dead. Not that lovely woman… What would William do without her? Before Buffy could panic anymore, a man appeared in the study.

“Sir? I do understand that you are concerned, but as your mother’s physician, I do recommend that she stays at the Spa and is allowed to rest and recover for at least two weeks.”

William clenched his teeth and his jaw flexed in a way that made his sharp cheekbones stand out in relief, a mannerism that was so evocative of Spike that Buffy blinked in surprise. She sometimes forgot that this man standing before her would become the vampire Spike, whose broken body she had last seen as she threw herself from Glory’s tower.

“I know, I do apologise for my unseemly behaviour – however, I had not realised the extent of my mother’s ailment. I do appreciate that she has to go, but please understand that this is a shock to me!” William nodded his head at the elderly man who had entered the room.

“Indeed William, but you and I have known each other since the day you were born. And I assure you that I, and the exemplary staff at the Spa, will ensure your mother’s return to health.”

William looked up over his gold-rimmed glasses; his pale blue eyes filled with emotion and he took a deep breath. He nodded briefly, “thank you…”

“Ms Jenkins and I will withdraw and allow you a moment to gather yourself.” The doctor pulled the housekeeper out and firmly shut the door.

William shivered, tears poured from his eyes and fell unchecked down his face. Reaching for the decanter of whiskey he pulled out the glass stopper and drank straight from the neck of the cut glass decanter. He glanced guilty over his shoulder – worried that someone had witnessed his uncouth behaviour.

Buffy thanked whatever powers were watching over William and his Mom-- she wasn’t dead! He had totally freaked her out when he had first come in, she wished she could touch him just so she could slap him around the head!

William paced back and forth in front of the fireplace, his hand clasped behind his back as he muttered under his breath. He knew that Mother had to go away to recover her health, but he had too many social commitments and if he were to miss any, then he would become even more of a social pariah, and then there was Cecily…

Buffy moved closer to the object of her fascination and sighed.

William froze in his tracks. All thoughts of his mother and his social reputation fled his shocked mind. He pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes – no, she was still there. He stared in awe at the vision of beauty reflected in the mirror. She was a goddess incarnate! He was filled with a delighted amazement – she was real…and here in the room with him.

Unwilling to turn and face her, William continued to drink in her delicate beauty. She was a tiny woman with long unbound hair that almost fell to her slender waist. Her eyes were a mixture of green and hazel that dominated her dainty face; their compassionate beauty filled his heart with an un-parrelled joy. Her full lips were of the palest pink and her nose was a work of art in itself. He raised a shaking hand to the mirror and with his fingers traced the outline of her face.

“Who are you?” he whispered, his voice cracked with emotion and surprise. He had known whatever was watching over him was an angel, but to be confronted with her divine presence was another thing.

“Huh?” Buffy’s jaw dropped. He was touching her face in the mirror. “You can see me?” She squeaked in shock.

“Indeed, never have I seen such a radiant angel such as yourself,” William answered softly. The calm tenor of his voice belying his excitement and surprise.

“If it is not too forward, may I know the name of the celestial being that has been my constant companion over these last few weeks?” he added shyly. Internally, William was berating himself for being so forward, but there was something about this small woman that set him at ease and he instinctively knew that she would not think ill of him for his uncouth ways.

“Bu…Elizabeth.” Buffy had no idea why she had given William her full name and not the one everyone called her. But she felt it was better to be more formal with the Victorian gentleman that was standing with his back to her and staring at her reflection.

“Elizabeth…how enchanting…” William remembered his manners. No matter what this radiant girl was, heavenly being or ghost he should not treat her so basely. Taking a deep breath William turned to face the impish beauty that had appeared in his home.

Buffy looked down and realised the for some reason she was corporeal and dressed in a fancy Victorian dress, much like the ones she had seen the other women wearing at the parties she had followed William too.

It was a confection of lace and silks in a dusty rose and the corset sucked. She couldn’t breathe, what she didn’t get was why she was breathing if she was dead? ‘Must be habit – Spike used to…’ The mental image of Spike brought her attention back to William.

Who was staring at her now!

Oh boy he was staring at her with Spike’s eyes…

Buffy shook herself – ‘those are Spike’s eyes dummy.’

“Are you okay?” William asked, he was unnerved at the way she was staring at him. Most women would on glance at a gentleman and not stare in such a frankly assessing way. He was intrigued.

Buffy smiled at the fuzzy way that William was looking at her. “I’m okay, what’s happened to you Mom?”

“Oh!” William took a deep shuddering breath, reminded suddenly of her poor Mother’s ill health. “She’s not doing too well, her health is weak..”

“I know,” Buffy replied softly. Compassion tinting her hazel eyes.

Before either of them could speak there was a rap at the door and Buffy jumped. Before she could stop it she faded away.

“No! Wait please don’t leave!” William called out as the vision of heavenly beauty vanished before his eyes.





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