The Protectors
By Heather Martin
Rated – R
Summary- The monks gave Buffy and Spike one night of fake memories. That would have been enough to change their lives. But when you add a glowing key in the form of an unborn baby, well . . . things wouldn’t just change, they would be turned completely upside-down
Disclaimer- Joss Whedon owns Spike’s eyebrow scar, his bleached hair, his crystal blue eyes, his manly arms, his muscular chest, his tight . . . *cough* Too bad isn’t it? But a girl can dream, right?
Spoilers- Starts during Out of My Mind. The entire Season 5, although I changed it tremendously to suit my own purpose
Chapter 4
I’m pregnant. Two simple words. It should have been easy to spit them out. Instead Buffy was finding it as difficult to do as when she sent Angel through the spinning vortex of Acathla.
All day she trailed behind her mother. Joyce gave her curious looks now and then. Buffy could understand. She hadn’t spent this much time with her mother since . . . Well, a long time. Buffy had hardly come back home to visit. She was always at the dorm, with the gang, or going out to hunt demons. Now that life had turned devastatingly distraught all Buffy wanted to do was climb into Joyce’s lap and regress into a dependant child.
“What’s that?” Buffy questioned, spotting the papers her mother was scanning.
“Honey, are you all right?” Joyce asked.
Buffy took a seat next to her at the dining room table. “Sure, Mom. Why?”
Joyce shook her head. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s just I’ve seen you more today than in the past month.”
“Is there anything wrong with some mother-daughter bonding action?”
Joyce smiled. She patted her daughter’s hand. “No, of course not. Let me look over these papers for the gallery first, okay?”
“Oh. Sure. I’ll just . . . go do something else for a few.”
Buffy stood up.
“I really do want to see you, Buffy. If it wasn’t for this paperwork . . .”
Buffy forced a smile. “I know.”
She hurried upstairs and to her room. She shut the door and then leaned against it for support. She took a few deep breaths. She was glad her mom had sent her away. It would give her time to contemplate how to break the news.
I’m pregnant. Two simple words, but no easy way to say them.
Buffy moved to her bed. She lifted the pastel bedspread and crawled underneath it. The heavy comforter snuggly wrapped around her small frame; she closed her eyes and let herself disappear in it.
***
Someone up there had it in for him. Not that he blamed them. He was William the Bloody after all, scourge of thousands. He deserved this afflicted torture. He knew it, but he still wished there was some way to make the pain go away.
Spike downed the last of his Jack Daniels. Bugger, there was not enough to put him in a stupor. His mind was too active. He stared into the clear, empty bottle.
He remembered how smooth her skin had felt. Sweat covered her, and his fingers traveled over the slick surface, taking in its heat. She burned. Her heart had beat loud and fierce. It pounded in his ears, mingling with her heavy breath. Her eyes lost focus as her head fell back. She cried out and her muscles quivered around him. All for him, because of him. The thought of her with another . . . doing ‘those’ things with another. . . And a baby. Fuck. She’d never be his. Captain Cardboard was a part of her now, always would be, no way around it.
Spike tightened his grip on the bottle. It shattered from the pressure. The glass flew. Blood slid down his palm. He snickered humorlessly.
He wished there was some way to make the pain go away. To do away with his love, to do away with ‘her’.
* * *
Buffy stalked though the cemetery. She wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. She still hadn’t told her mother the unexpected news. She couldn’t find the opportune moment for it. She fought to stay focused, reminding herself about what happened last time she had patrolled.
She moved through the graves, hugging herself. She opened up her senses for demon activity. It wasn’t long before she felt something nearby. She prepared herself for the attack.
The vampire emerged. He looked like a Kiss reject, makeup and all.
“Are you trying to cover up something? Major acne?”
She offered a few kicks.
“You know, they have cream for that. Or, does that not work on dead things?”
The vampire snarled in displeasure. He punched her in the face. She dodged out of his way when he went for another one. She wasn’t fast enough to avoid the foot that plunged into her abdomen, though. Her eyes went wide as she staggered backwards. Oh God!
The vamp chuckled. “I’ve heard much about you, little sister. All lies. You’re not that tough.”
Buffy’s features hardened. She battled with the nausea building in her stomach. She whipped out her stake. Now was the time. She thrust the wood into his heart before he could react.
“Think again,” she commented as he disintegrated in the air.
She let out a breath. She dropped the stake to clutch her middle. It hurt. Tears built up in her eyes. What if . . . ? She had to get help. The hospital wasn’t far away. She could make it.
* * *
The doctor didn’t seem worried. Why wasn’t he worried? This was her baby at risk.
“Calm down, Buffy,” Dr. Grant soothed.
“But he kicked me! He came out of nowhere. He wanted . . . uh . . . to rob me, yeah!”
“I’m sure your baby is fine, Ms. Summers. I’ve examined you fully and the injury seems superficial. But if you are worried I could do a sonogram.”
Buffy rested her head back on the examining table. “Is that where there are pictures on the TV?”
The doctor smiled. “Yes. It is a simple procedure. Sound waves are used in order to capture an image of the womb. It would be a sure way of making sure everything is ship shape.”
Buffy nodded. “Please do it.”
“All right, Buffy. Now just relax.” He set up a few things. “Prepare yourself, this might be cold.”
Exposing her belly, the doctor squirted a small amount of gel. He spread it around. Buffy watched the screen expectantly. A picture was formed. She squinted, trying to make something out. She became disappointed when she couldn’t form anything coherent in what she saw.
The doctor must have seen her difficulty. “Do you want me to point out your baby?” he asked.
“Please.”
He pointed to a tiny dot on the screen. “That’s it.”
“There?” she questioned with skepticism.
“Yes,” the doctor replied and laughed. “Don’t feel bad. It takes a professional in order to point it out. It is very small at this stage.”
Buffy hardly heard. She had become transfixed right after he pointed out her baby. A small smile formed on her lips. There really was a baby in her. The reality of it all hadn’t really hit her until now. She was going to be a mother. It didn’t matter if it hadn’t been created naturally. The baby was hers now. The monk was right. They had given her a beautiful gift. And she loved it. She loved the tiny creature within her. She knew she had from the very start, but hadn’t let herself realize it until now.
“Everything is fine. The heartbeat is strong. I have no reason to believe there will be any abnormalities,” Dr. Grant stated.
Buffy blinked away accumulated wetness. “Thank you.”
* * *
Buffy left the doctor with a new perspective. She was no longer ashamed with her pregnancy. She kept glancing down at the blurry pictures that had been printed out for her. Her thumb slid across its surface. She felt lightheaded with wonder. She would do everything in her power to keep her baby safe. Everything. Even if that meant collaborating forces with an evil bleached blond fiend. She wasn’t strong enough to beat this new big bad. Her condition was only going to degrade with time. If she couldn’t prevent a mere vampire from kicking her in the stomach there was no way she could pound . . . whatever that permed freak bitch was.
She reached Spike’s crypt without a further confrontation. She was thankful for that. She entered civically, without crashing her way in. The place was dark except for the flickering glow of the television. Spike whipped his head around.
“Oi, you,” he said in indifference.
“Yeah, me. Can, uh, you shut that off? I want to speak with you,” she said, gesturing to the program. It was some black and white detective movie.
Spike rose. The movement was so fluid. She couldn’t help but compare him to a feline. His physic was so strong, sleek, and lean. A flash of herself pressed against such physic came to mind. She blinked, realizing he had muted the television and was now glaring at her.
“What do you want?” he demanded.
She spotted his left hand. It was marred with dried blood. She opened her mouth to ask what happened but then thought better of it. She shifted her gaze to his face.
She sighed. “I need your help.”
Spike took out a cigarette. He quickly lit it and blew smoke at her. “So ‘now’ you need my help? Thought you were good enough on your own.”
Buffy coughed and pushed the smoke away with her hands. She grabbed the stick out of his hand and smashed it under her shoe. “No smoking!”
He shook his head. “Oh, right. Your condition.”
She fiddled with her hands. “Look, this isn’t easy for me.” She paused. “I’ve always been strong enough on my own. I’m the slayer, ya know? But I can’t do this alone. Please, help me. Go with me on patrol until after she’s born.”
His jaw twitched.
“I’ll pay you!” she added. She searched his eyes pleadingly.
He laughed. She just stared.
“Get out,” he said.
She gaped. “What?”
He pointed toward the door. “Leave before I toss you out.”
“Spike . . .? “ Her eyes began to sting. Oh, geez, she had been crying a lot lately. Hormones?
“Oh balls, woman. Turn off the waterworks. Look, you’ve got enough help without bringing me into the mix. I’ve seen the whelp and Red out. They’ve done just fine.”
“Not against this. There is something new in town. Something powerful. I went up against her and almost didn’t get away.”
He shut his eyes. “Call up the poof. I’m sure he’d be here in a heartbeat.”
“Who?”
“Angel.”
There was a moment of silence.
“I don’t want to bring him into this.” She couldn’t deal with her ex right now. What would he think? It would be too humiliating to be pregnant with another man’s child while around him. No, she couldn’t bear it.
“You’ll figure something out,” Spike said coldly. “Best of luck.”
Lies. He didn’t care at all.
“Just for your information, I’m not at your bloody beck and call. I’ve got my own place now, don’t need to be mixed up with your lot. Got things to do. Evil, vampiric things.”
She nodded. “I understand.”
Without another words buffy turned and left.
***
God Damn It! Spike swore. He was at the end of his bloody rope. This was too much. He couldn’t stand to be around her. It tore him up inside. He could feel it in her. Just as he could sense death, he could sense life. Not only that, the fluttering beat of the added tiny heart closed in around him.
Something had to be done. He had to get rid of this pain. There had to be a way. There was no way that he could go seven months with this.
He could leave town. He’d pack his bags and storm out of this fucking town. He’d find Dru again. She could cure him of this disease. Together they’d find a way to turn him back into a real vampire again.
Wait. He shouldn’t have to leave. He could stay here if he wanted. He wasn’t going to let a little girl lead his unlife.
Spike stormed over to a metal trunk. He searched through its contents. His hand brought up his prize, a double barreled shotgun. He smirked after loading with two rounds.
Two hours of brain blasts and then the pain would be over. He’d make it all go away.
* * *
“Mom, can we talk?”
They had just finished dinner. Empty plates sat in front of them, the red hint of lasagna lingering.
Joyce smiled. “Sure. Do you want dessert? I made brownies.”
Buffy reached over to halt her mother from rising. “Mom, we really should talk.”
Joyce relaxed. Her complete concentration went to her daughter. She frowned. “Drugs?”
“What!? No!”
Joyce put a hand to her chest. “Thank god. Is Angelus back?”
“No. Mom, relax.”
“Okay, I think I better stop guessing. Just tell me.”
This was it.
“Mom, I’m pregnant.”
It took a moment for Joyce to grasp the sentence. Buffy waited for the explosion. Instead Joyce replied in a calm manner.
“Whose is it?”
Buffy’s green eyes widened. “How can you ask that?”
The bomb hit. “Well, I don’t know, Buffy. Everytime I think I know what is going on with you I get struck. First it was Angel and then the slayer thing. And now you’re pregnant!”
Buffy looked down at her hands. “I’m not a whore.”
“I didn’t . . .” Joyce sighed. “So it’s Riley’s?”
Buffy swallowed. “Yeah.”
Joyce nodded sadly. “Didn’t you use protection?”
“We got caught up in the moment once.” She met her mom’s eyes. “Once.”
It was a lie. Buffy had always been firm about protection. Riley had no problem with it. They got in the habit of always having some on hand.
“I can’t believe you would be so irresponsible,” Joyce snapped.
Buffy gripped the edge of the table. “I’m sorry.”
“Well the damage is done. So, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not getting rid of it!”
“I didn’t mean that. I meant . . . Are you planning on getting a job? Are you staying in college?”
“I . . . I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Well you better start! How far along are you?” Joyce asked.
“A little over two months,” Buffy said.
“Seven months may seem like a long time but it’s not. It will come sooner than you think.”
“I know!”
Joyce stared at her with disappointment. She stood up.
“Excuse me, I’m going to bed.”
Buffy sat there numbly. Well, it was over. She had known it would be bad. Somehow it felt worse then she anticipated. Mommy, I’m sorry.
* * *
Spike stalked purposely toward the Summers residence. He stepped through the shadows and into the light from the back porch. She sat hunched on the bottom step. He aimed the gun at her head. His finger hovered over the trigger.
You can do it, mate. One quick motion and it’ll be done. He cocked the gun.
Buffy raised her head. She looked at him through blurry vision.
“What do you want now?” she asked.
His finger trembled. He took in her devastated face. She was a mess of tears. His rage vanished at the sight of her suffering. He lowered the gun to his side.
He tilted his head to take her in. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.
“Is there something I can do?”
She simply stared up at him in confusion. He settled next to her on the step. She let him. He hesitantly reached out and awkwardly patted her on the back.
He was a fool to think he could be anything but love’s bitch. There was something in him that just broke over the opposite sex. There was no fighting it. The pain was there and there was doing away with it. He’d stick by her side. He’d protect her with his unlife. He loved her with all he had. And against his choice he seemed to love the bit as well. It was a part of her after all.
He retracted his hand. They both stared out into the night in silence.
_____________________________________________________
Long part for you, guys. And I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. : )
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