[Reviews - 19]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 1943 times

- Text Size +




“Buffy!” Spike called as he saw Buffy coming up the sidewalk toward the school. Since the funeral a week ago, he hadn’t been able to get in touch with her at all.

Buffy briefly looked up to see Spike running toward her. As he finally stopped, he just stared at her for a moment. “Buffy?”

“Hey,” she said quietly before moving to go around him. His arm shot out to stop her, though he didn’t hold her in a firm grasp. “Buffy?” He repeated. “I’ve tried calling. Mom said that you didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.”

“Yeah. Surprisingly, it still hurts that my baby sister was murdered,” she said in a cold voice. She was lashing out at him, she knew, for no good reason. He’d done nothing wrong. In fact, she knew he was probably more upset for her than he was himself.

That’s what scared her. She and Spike were getting so serious that he was putting her pain before his. He’d do anything to make sure she was okay without worrying about himself. But, she knew if he played the strong part for to long, it would break him down and do bad things for their relationship.

Spike looked at her in confusion and hurt, though he tried to mask the latter. “I didn’t say that you shouldn’t hurt, pet.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “I’m just being all bitchy ‘cause I’m hurting, you know? Really, really bad hurting.”

Spike eyed her for a moment. She hadn’t cried at the funeral, and her eyes weren’t even watering up now. “Then why won’t you cry?”

Buffy just looked down. She’d hoped that if she looked like she was okay, that maybe he’d let some of his pain out. But it wasn’t just that. If she stopped and thought about it too long, then she would have to really accept that Dawn was gone.

And that just hurt too much.

“I have cried.”

“You cried at the hospital. That’s it. Buffy…you can’t keep it bottled up. You know that I’m here for you.”

“You can take this away then?” She asked, her voice a whisper. “Can you?!” Much louder this time. “You think you can take me in your arms and make all the hurt and loss go away?! I don’t need to be held! I need to move on. She’s dead, there’s nothing we can do. We both need to get the hell over it!”

Spike’s instincts were to hit her for the way she was lashing out. But he’d never hurt Buffy like that. Ever. If he ever hurt her physically, it’d be the last thing he’d ever do. That’s the promise he’d made to himself.

“Shut up,” he commanded in a firm, low voice. He clenched his fists at his side as he tried to control his temper.

“Why? She’s dead right? Six feet under and whatnot? I’m just stating the facts, Spike!” Buffy didn’t even notice how her eyes were glossing over. “What? You’re gonna get mad because I’m not turning to you? I. Don’t. Need. You! If you think that holding me tight is going to make the pain go away, you’re wrong!”

“You don’t mean that.”

“You know what I’m thinking now? That’s rich.” She suddenly blinked when she realized her vision was clouding. She couldn’t cry. Not now. But when the first tear slipped from her eyes, she didn’t try to stop the rest. “There. You wanted me to cry? Well, here I am.” Her eyes suddenly turned dark as she used all her will to stop the flow of tears. “That make you want me, Spike? Seeing me weak? That why you want me to cry?”

Spike had no clue where she was getting any of this. But it was pissing him off. “Stop. Now.”

“No.” Her tears had completely stopped, but she seemed to permanently have foot-in-mouth syndrome. “You like seeing me weak. Reminds you of what Parker almost did to me last year, doesn’t it?” Spike’s eyes hardened completely when he was reminded of the Parker incident. The attempted rape against Buffy. God, he had never wanted to kill anyone more than he did Parker. “S’that what you plan to do?” She asked in a mock-weak voice.

Spike felt himself snap at that comment. Clenching his fists tighter, he set his jaw hard before turning to walk away. “Hit a nerve, then?” Buffy asked cruelly.

He suddenly turned back to her and she inwardly winced at how angry he looked. “I love you, and you know that. If you ever suggest something like that again…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he walked toward the parking lot anyway.

“You’re not worth it anyway,” Buffy said loud enough for him to hear.

“I’ll remember that,” he called over his shoulder as he climbed into the driver’s side of his car.

Buffy’s whole insides turned to ice when the reality of all her words came crashing down on her. Biting her lower lip to keep the tears away, she turned her back on the school and began to walk away.

She could skip today. Life didn’t seem to have anything important in store for her anyway.

A/N: I know, I know. Bitchy Buffy. Ouch. But, next chapter holds Spuffy. So, there’s something to look forward to. :D Just to let you know, the whole Dawn’s death thing has nothing to do with the plot. It’s just a little bit of angst before the real storm comes.

Boy is it gonna be a bad one. :D Hehe

Don’t worry. Big Spuffy ending and all.





You must login (register) to review.