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Author's Chapter Notes:
I think the path they’re both on must lead them forwards, not back And he’s beginning to fall in love all over again.
Never Alone by Lilachigh

Chp 17 Something - Nothing


Buffy crawled to the edge of the precipice and stared down into the vast cavern of Hellmouth. In the months since Spike had destroyed it, the ground had obviously carved out a way downwards once more. Hundreds of feet below she could see smoke and dull orange and ochre flames. The air smelt of sulphur and she realised it was getting hard to breath. There were a few small fires half way down and in their flickering light she could see Tosh.

Clem’s little son was perched on a finger of rock that stuck out from the side of the cavern about fifty feet beneath her. His shirt collar had caught on something and that was holding him steady on his precarious seat.

Buffy shouted down to him .“Tosh, sweetheart, hold on. Buffy’s coming to get you.” She wasn’t sure if he could hear her or not. He was still crying.

“Bloody Hell! How are you going to get down there, Slayer?” Spike said, peering over the edge.

“I can climb down, unhook him and - ”

“And what? You can’t climb up holding him as well. The first time he struggles, you’ll both go down.”

Buffy bit her lip. He was right but there was no way she could leave the child there. As soon as his shirt tore free, he would panic and fall.

“So what do we do. Wait until Clem gets here and tell him we’re sorry but we can’t rescue his son!”

Spike raised an eyebrow at her tetchy tone. Hot sticky sex obviously upset this girl’s temper. He would have to remember that. “We’ll both go. One on each side of the rock he’s on. I’ll put him on your back, his arms round your neck. Then we both climb, I’ll guard you with my body all the way up so if he does fall off, I’ll catch him.”

Buffy nodded. His plan made sense. She hesitated briefly on the edge of the chasm. It was hard to realise that it had been somewhere here that Spike had burnt and died. And he had no memory of it at all. And even after making love to her, there was no recognition in his eyes. It broke her heart - all over again.

But that would have to wait. First they had to rescue Tosh.

Inch by inch, she clambered down the rock face, her feet slipping and sliding as she fought to keep her balance. She glanced across at Spike. He’d thrown off his leather coat and boots. His bare feet were feeling for holds on the slippery surface but he was moving swiftly, surely and she remembered with a flood of emotion how easy it was to work with him, knowing that his vampire strength was almost as good as her Slayer’s.

At last she reached Tosh, just as a spout of flame gusted up from underneath her. It missed them by about three feet but the heat was enough to make the toddler scream and wriggle. As he did so his shirt came free and he swayed perilously on his rocky perch.

“Spike! I have to get him now. He’s going to fall.”

“I’ve got your back, Slayer,” Spike said and gasped as his new scar throbbed violently, the pain so great it almost made him pass out. He bit back a groan and watched as she swung herself across, plucked the little demon from the rock and swung him onto her back where he clung like a baby monkey.

Those words - god, what did they mean? He’d said them before - somewhere, sometime. And she’d said - something like - a faint echo sounded in his head - ‘I thought you wanted me to leave you alone’.

He swarmed across the rock face and covered the two of them with his body as another great flame flared up.

It missed them by inches and slowly Buffy began to clamber up the side of the Hellmouth, aware of his body protecting them every foot of the way.

“You’re doing fine,” Spike gasped. “Not far to go now.”

“Tosh keeps wriggling. Don’t let him fall. Catch him if he does. Promise?”

‘Promise. And I always keep my word to a lady, sweetheart,” he laughed then glanced behind him. The flames were coming fast and furious, leaping higher and higher, like crazed animals, desperate to reach them. “Can you climb a bit faster, luv?”

Buffy put on a spurt and then, a worried wrinkled face peered over the edge above them and Clem was there, reaching down with flapping arms.

‘Daddy!” Tosh squeaked and let go of Buffy’s neck.

Clem howled as the boy fell backwards and Spike reached up and plucked him out of the air. He swung from the rock face by one hand, the other grasping the child by one wrinkly arm.

Buffy turned and gasped. Spike didn’t look secure. Tosh might only be a toddler, but his weight was pulling the vampire’s bare feet off the rock face. And underneath him the flames were growing larger and hotter every second.

As she watched, he scrabbled for a hold, the blood pouring from his toes as he caught them on the razor sharp surface. “Can’t hold him for long, Slayer,” he gritted.

Then she was at his side, catching Tosh’s other arm and together they heaved him up into his waiting father’s comforting arms.

Panting, Buffy and Spike hung together against the rock face. He stared down into the green-grey eyes. He felt he was drowning in their depths. Why could he remember her saying those words? When had she said them?

‘Spike, flames, burny, no good,” Buffy said at last as the heat became unbearable and they scrambled up the last few feet together to lie exhausted in a tangle on the rocky tunnel floor.

“Oh thank you, thank you so much!” Clem’s ears were waving back and forwards in his joy. He clasped the little lad to his chest, kissing his wrinkly head over and over again.

“Think nothing of it,” Spike groaned, rolling over onto his back and wincing as his bare feet touched the ground.

“I must get him home. The Shades are still hunting for him and his mother will be back any minute. See you later, guys, and thanks again. If I can ever do anything, anything...” and he hurried off back up the tunnel, with Tosh waving goodbye over his shoulder.

“You’re hurt,” Buffy said, looking at his torn feet.

“Just another set of scars to add to all the rest,” Spike replied and sat up, resting his back against the rock wall. He rubbed the new scar on his forehead and glanced across at Buffy. He’d never met a girl like this before. Brave, strong, resolute. But she was still the Slayer and he was a vampire. Why did he feel admiration for her? Nothing made sense and his head hurt so badly when he tried to think about it.

She caught his gaze and frowned. “What?”

“You’re something else, Slayer. I’ve never seen anything so brave. You could have gone down into that fire in a second.”

Buffy reached out and tentatively touched his shoulder. “I thought you were the brave one. The last time you were here, you burnt up and vanished. Spike, don’t you remember any of that. The amulet, the potentials, all the Scoobies fighting the First?”

There was a long pause as he fought his way past the agony in his head. “Just now, when we were doing our Batman and Robin routine, I remembered - ”

Buffy’s heart leapt. “What?”

The vampire frowned and ran a filthy hand through even dirtier blond hair. “Something, nothing, I don’t know, Slayer. It hurts so much when I try and think about the past.”

She bit her lip and clenched her fists so hard her nails bit into her palms. It was like losing him all over again, but he’d suffered enough for her. There was no way she was going to let him go through another sort of hell just so they could play ‘do you remember’ in the rubble.

‘Then don’t,’ she said firmly. “Perhaps it’s all tied up with your coming back from wherever the amulet sent you. Perhaps you’re not supposed to remember things. Let’s get back and check on Tosh.”

She got to her feet and held out her hand. He took it and she hauled him upright. Leaning on her, they made their way unsteadily down the tunnel, heading for the mall and his room.

Buffy was glorying in the heavy weight of his arm around her shoulders and Spike was wondering why he felt so glad to feel the warmth of her body against his. Neither of them bothered to glance behind them and so neither Slayer or Vampire saw what came crawling up out of the pit towards them.


to be continued





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