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MAKE HER OWN WAY


Chapter 19: ‘I Love You, Don’t Hang Up!’


“God Buffy, where are you?” he cried in relief, just hearing her dear voice made him feel a thousand times better then he had in a month. “I can’t tell you that, Will,” she stammered, “I just called to tell you I’m fine, I’m safe and that well, that I…..” she hesitated and he broke into her sentence.

“Buffy,” he began, his voice husky with emotion, commanding, “get your arse home, now!” Spike immediately realized he had made a grave error when Buffy was silent for almost a minute then she simply said, “I hope you’re well, Will. I just wanted to call, let you know I’m doing fine. Take care of yourself, darling,” she finished. “Buffy, I love you, wait don’t hang…” but before he could finish, she had clicked the phone off on her end.

“God Dammit!” he screamed, slamming his cell phone down on his desk, “I’d fuck up the most simple thing!” Spike resisted the urge to throw his cell phone against his office wall, instead, he opted to fling his coffee mug, coffee and all against his door.

“When I get my hands on her!” he hissed, thinking of all kinds ways to violate Buffy’s lucious body when he had her again. Of course, that sentiment lasted about sixty seconds before he felt so ashamed of himself for even thinking like that, that he dropped his head into his hands and began to sob like a child. Once he had cried out most of his immediate anguish, Spike picked up his office phone and dialed his parent’s home in England, knowing full well his Dad would still be in London at this time. He needed to talk to his Mum, desperately.

The maid answered the phone and put Jennifer Giles on at once. “William?” Spike’s mother greeted softly, making him feel comforted one moment and ashamed of his horrible thoughts about Buffy the next. “Mum, I need to talk to you,” he mumbled, embarrassed by the child like need in his tone.

“Is it Buffy?” Jennifer asked knowingly, “have you found her?” Spike grimaced in pain and took a deep breath, trying not to let his Mother know how tormented he really was. “Yes, Mum,” he stammered, “but no, I still don’t have a clue where she is. But, Mum, she just called me and I kind of mucked things up with her, again that is.” Jenny sighed heavily, “oh, William, what did you say now?”

He explained what had happened, leaving out his nasty after thoughts of fucking Buffy into total subjugation once he had his hands on her again. “I’m lost without her Mother,” he finished, his voice strained and cracked with emotion, “I’m nothing without her.”

“William,” Jenny sighed again, “have you ever considered that ‘you’ might be wrong about all of this. Going about it the wrong way? You’re so busy hunting poor Buffy down that I wonder if you’ve even thought about what is going to happen if you do find her? If you don’t do some changing, son, I’m afraid that all of your pleading with Buffy won’t do any good. Have you even considered this?”

Spike had considered this a hundred thousand times since Buffy had taken off, but the Gile’s male machismo in him just couldn’t, yet, admit that it was he that had to make some big changes. That is if he wanted the woman he loved back in his life.

“Yes, Mum,” he admitted shyly, “I’ve considered it, and I agree with you. I do need to be a different man for Buffy and when I get her back, I promise you, I’ll be less of a control freak, more sensitive to her ‘needs’ and all.” Jenny was silent for a moment then finally said quietly, “I just hope that ‘if’ you find Buffy, William, you realize that your obsessive control of her isn’t the only problem you two have.”

Spike wasn’t completely sure what his mother was trying to tell him, but an unpleasant thought niggled in the back of his mind. Deciding to put that part of the problem aside for now, he told his mother that he was actually trying to write again about Buffy.

“It’s just bloody awful, Mum,” he admitted with a derisive chuckle, to Jenny, embarrassed by any weakness he might exhibit, even to his mother. “I’m sure it’s just fine, son,” she responded with enthusiasm, “you don’t give yourself enough credit, William. Buffy always did, she loved the poems you wrote about her and sent to me. I know she told you I gave them to her to read, she cried over them, did you know that?”

Spike felt his heart skip a beat, ‘no’ he hadn’t known that Buffy was moved to tears by his lousy prose, but now that he did, he was more determined then ever to find her, bring her home. He would spend his fortune, deplete his riches and forge into hell to find her and be with her again.

“I’ll find her Mum,” he promised Jenny and himself, “I’ll find her and we’ll be together again, even if I lose everything I have in the trying.”

After the great cell phone fiasco a few weeks before, Buffy had not attempted to get in touch with Will in any way. “He hasn’t changed a damn bit,” she grumbled to herself, trying not to cry over it again. Will was as commanding and controlling of her as before. “What the heck did I expect,” Buffy thought sadly, “a miracle, it’s only been two months.” Right at that moment, while she was checking over some new inventory at the Gallery, her office line rang abruptly, alerting her to a phone call. She picked up the line, expecting Warren or April to be ringing her about something, instead, she heard Tara McClay’s voice on the other end.

“Buffy?” Tara asked in her soothing voice. “Hi, Tara,” Buffy answered, setting down the pen and clicking off her computer, “how are you?” Tara hesitated a moment, and Buffy just knew she had some earthshattering information for her. “What’s wrong Tara,” she asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“Buffy, it’s William, well I mean it’s something he’s done. You’re not going to like this Buffy and I have to tell you, I really didn’t want to tell you this.” Buffy began to feel a bit whoozy, sick to her tummy and head, the writings on the paperwork before her began to blur and she felt like she might faint. “Go ahead, Tara,” she said, weakly, “let me have it.”

Tara hesitated again, then finally just spilled the news, “Well,” she stammered, “apparently after your attempt to try and let him know you were okay? He kind of thought it over, I guess, if you could call it ‘thinking’ and, heck Buffy, I’m just going to say it. William has kind of had a ‘teeny’ APB put out on you here in the States that is.”

”He’s gone past using his own people to find you, he’s actually gotten that nimrod, Wood at the Sunnydale Police Department to go along with all this nonsense and contact some other big city police detectives to help find you. I’m sorry Buffy, but Xander and Cordelia hear all of this first hand from William, of course they immediately tell us. Cordy is fit to be tied, but Xander’s being a complete idiot about it, siding with William and ‘Rupert Giles’ in it. Yes, William’s father is involved in this, now too.”

Tara had said everything so fast that at first, Buffy thought she had misheard her friend.

“I’m to understand,” Buffy choked out the question to her, “that my William has put out an all points bulletin on me? Like a criminal!” Tara quickly assured her that it wasn’t like that, exactly, not so severe as that, “more of a kind of ‘runaway’ child type of action?” Buffy was beginning to see the ‘blinding white light’ of anger that Will used to talk about, “oh, what a comfort for me,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Now I’m just a spoiled little runaway teenager to half the known world!” “Buffy, I wished I wasn’t the one to tell you this, I’m sorry, but I…” Buffy calmed her voice enough to assure Tara that it was the best thing to call her right away and let her know what Will and his Dad were up to.

After she hung up the phone, Buffy sat for a long time, digesting this new information, “this better have been one of Daddy dearests bright light ideas, William Giles,” she growled through tears. “If you were solely responsible for this one, I’ll go so deep into hiding that God won’t be able to find me. And, news flash Rupert and Spike Giles, neither one of you are Gods!”


A/N: Oh, I just had to (hehehehehe). Anyway, Tara’s call will prove to be pivotal in the next few chapters. There are only a few chapters left now. Thanks, please read and review.Luv Spuf





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