MAKE HER OWN WAY


Chapter 20: ‘I Know You Still….’


Spike stood out on the balcony of ‘their’ apartment, ‘no,’ he thought sadly, ‘not really their’s anymore. Not when the love of his life had been gone three months now.’ He sat down on a chair and lit up another cigarette, ‘how many smokes had that been today?’ he wondered, losing count at a pack. It was only after 12:00 PM and he was not only smoking like a chimney, he had already started drinking and hour before. “Why not?” he snorted, “can’t a bloke smoke and drink on his own Birthday?” Turning thirty should have been a good time in a man’s life, but Spike’s Birthday was miserable, just like his life, by his own making of coure, he realized that now.

“Wonder if Buffy even realizes what day it is,” he sniffed, feeling quite sorry for himself indeed. He had ordered his employees, his and Buffy’s friends even his parents to officially ‘not recognize’ or remember that today was his Birthday and they had bowed to his wishes. Even Xander promised not to buy him a drink, a present or even wish him any ‘Happy, Happy’ bullshit. “If anyone knows what’s good for them, they’ll bloody hell listen to me. “Oh, God, Buffy I miss you so much, I want you to come home, baby, please,” he whispered, feeling more hopeless every day.

Thinking back to weeks before to that awful moment when Buffy had hung up on him, again, he deserved it. “Christ, get her on the phone, order her to come home? How much of a moron could I be?” Then, after he had talked to his Mother, his Dad has to get into the act and pull that APB stunt! That had lasted less then 24 hours after Spike had personnally gone down to the Sunnydale Police Station and tracked down Robin Wood.

Spike had to laugh, now that is, he’d threatened Wood’s manhood and half of the Department’s jobs if they didn’t pull that fucking order off-line as of that second! They did, right in front of him; that’s when Spike called his Father in England and told him to stay the fuck out of his and Buffy’s relationship. As of then, dear old Dad hadn’t been calling him every other day, just a couple times a week and that was just fine by Spike. In his heart, he knew that his Father had been a part of the problem with Buffy and if Spike had to, he’d give up his worship of Rupert Giles to get her back. Lighting another cigarette, Spike stood up and looked out over the ocean, remembering something three years before.


Flashback Spike’s POV


Spike had been seeing Buffy, regularly, for six weeks now, wining and dining her, doing other simple things, picnics, walks or just anything that ‘she’ would like to do. Most times they ended up afterwards at her apartment making love. He had told her he loved her a hundred times, on the phone, on their dates, during sex, but she had never repeated the words back to him. That was okay, she would someday and for once, Spike could be a patient man.

Buffy had asked him to take her to see his apartment a couple of times, which of course he did even though he was embarrassed by the spartaness of it. When she first walked into it, she scrunched up her pretty face and kind of went ‘hmmm.’ “Will,” she murmered walking around, touching the simple furniture and lamps, “it’s got no ‘soul’ here. You need to bring some warmth and light in here.” ‘Of course,’ he chuckled, ‘you’re my soul Buffy, until you love me, I’m in the dark. Don’t you know that?’

Buffy was working at the Chateau that Thursday night, and Spike was working at his place, for what it was worth. He was about as interested in the paperwork as he was in mud, but since his Buffy was working, he might as well too. Around 8:30, there was a soft knock on the door and confused, he looked through the peep hole to find Buffy standing outside of it, a long trench coat on, ‘what the fuck?’ he asked himself.

Spike was thrilled she was here, but she was supposed to be at the restaurant, so he immediately assumed something was wrong. “It’s me, Will,” she called softly, “can I come in?” Spike threw the door open immediately and pulled Buffy into an embrace, “course you can come in, baby,” he murmered, happy that she was there with him. “But is something wrong, Princess?” he asked with concern, even while he kissed her forehead, cheek and finally lips.

“No,” she answered softly, a slight smile on her lips, “I just needed to come talk to you, it couldn’t wait, Will.” He started to lead her to the couch, then asked her, “can I take your coat, sweetheart?”

She gave him a mischivious smile and nodded enthusiastically, “I’d love it if you took my coat, Will,” she whispered slyly, untying the belt that held it closed. Spike stood behind her, ready to take the coat off her shoulders and when he slid it down her long arms, he realized that his Princess was completely naked from head to toes.

“Jesus, Buffy!” he gasped, dropping the coat on the floor in shock. Before he could say another word, Buffy turned around and literally climbed up his body, wrapping her legs around his hips and her arms about his neck.

“Buffy,” he panted, smiling from ear to ear, “I so love….” But she stopped him by putting a slim finger to his lips, “wait,” she whispered breathily, “me first. I love you Will. That’s what couldn’t wait, that’s why I’m here.” Spike just stared at Buffy, opened mouth and stunned by her whole personna tonight.

“You what?” he asked, dazed and confused. “I love you Will,” she whispered, a little shyly this time. “God, Buffy,” Spike moaned as he carried her to his bed, feeling the wetness between her legs that pressed against the material of his jeans.

Spike lay Buffy down on his bed gently, carefull not to jostle her too much and began to strip his own clothes off off him quickly. “Be there in a minute, Princess,” he whispered huskily. ‘Damn!’ he thought angrily, ‘I have to have a condom somewhere around here, but I think I took them all to Buffy’s.’

She looked up at him with her half closed green eyes, they were filled with want and desire, “come here, Will,” she ordered, crooking her finger to point him to her side. He just stared at her, somewhat dazed from desire, “I’m looking for a…” Buffy smiled wantonly, “get over here, Will, don’t need them. I don’t want any barriers between us tonight, please Will. Just you in me, nothing latex between us.”

He stumbled over to the bed and flopped down on top of her, “you’re really beautiful, Buffy,” he murmered, running his hands down her arms and body. “Yeah,” she purred, “so are you.”

Spike didn’t hesitate, just thrust into her wet, hot center, “say it again,” he commanded huskily, pushing into her, then pulling out slowly, then back in again. “I love you, William Giles,” she groaned in pleasure.

“I love you so much, Buffy,” he echoed, “I’ll never ever let you go, you know that don’t you?” Buffy giggled with glee, “you better not, Mister!” They made love the rest of the night and less then two weeks later, Spike had leased their apartment and Buffy had made plans to have it painted and furnished. In the words of Spike Giles, it was a real win/win situation for them both.


Present Day


It was now close to 3:00 PM on his Birthday and Spike still sat on the balcony of ‘their’ apartment, staring out at the Pacific Ocean, wondering what Buffy was doing right that very minute. “Where are you baby?” he asked the air sadly, “why don’t you come home to me. I’ll change, I swear, baby, I will.”

His thoughts were disturbed by the ring of his cell phone sitting on the balcony table. “Christ, what now?” he hissed, picking up the cell phone and hitting the on button. “Hello,” he answered, just wanting to be left alone.

“Will,” came Buffy’s beloved shy voice from the other end. “Buffy!” Spike cried in shock, “Buffy, oh God, baby. It’s so good to hear your beautiful voice!” There was a moments silence, “I just called to wish you Happy Birthday, Will,” Buffy whispered softly.

“You remembered, Princess?” he asked stunned a bit but happy as bloody hell. “Course I did Will,” she responded with a giggle, “I couldn’t forget your Birthday silly.” Another moment of silence, then, “Buffy,” he began slowly, “I can’t be ‘happy’ without you. I love you so much. Please come home baby, I’ll change, I’ll do anything you want. I know you have to still love me a little, just to call me on my Birthday, so, why can’t you just come home to me?”

Spike swore he heard Buffy sniffling softly, as if she was trying not to cry, “I can’t come home right now, Will,” she said sadly, “I just can’t, but I needed to call you, tell you that I do still love you, and that there’s something….”

Suddenly, Spike heard a man’s voice on Buffy’s side of the line, “Buffy it’s getting late. You better get home now,” he swore he heard this poof say. “Who the fuck is that?” Spike growled at Buffy, his jealousy rearing it’s ugly head. “My boss,” she answered automatically, “I have to work Will. It’s my boss, that’s all.”

Spike knew he’d made a mistake, right off, grilling her about the man’s voice in the background. Of course it was her boss, poor little thing probably had to work at some fucked up job just to feed herself. ‘She better be feeding herself,’ he thought worriedly, ‘she better be all right, I swear to God or I’ll…..’

Buffy broke into his reverie, “I have to go Will,” she said softly, “just wanted to call and tell you ‘Happy Birthday’ and everything. Goodbye, baby.” She hung up before he could even say anything more.

“Buffy,” he groaned, clicking off his end of the phone and dropping back down onto the balcony chair. “God , Buffy, I’m so sorry for being such a fuck up. Please, please come home baby. I love you so much.”

Spike sat for a long while on the balcony, continuing his lonely Birthday celebration with lots of whiskey and Marlboroughs. It must have been going on 5:00 or even 6:00 PM that night when a knock came at the apartment door. “Oh fuck!” he hissed, “who the hell is that, now?” He stumbled over to the door and looked through the peep hole to find Xander Harris standing there.

With a sigh, Spike opened the door and leaned against the frame, “thought I told you I didn’t want visitors today, Harris,” he grumbled at the dark haired man. “Thought you’d want to see me to hear this,” Xander retorted with a smirk, walking right past Spike boldly and sitting on the couch.

“Spike, I’m going to give you a Birthday present, whether you want it or not and frankly, I’m betting that you’ll end up wanting this one.” Spike sat down next to his friend, pouring them both a drink in the fresh tumblers that he’d gotten from the bar.

“Yeah, what the fuck would that be, mate?” he mumbled at his friend, lighting a smoke for himself. “Well, first,” Xander began, eyeing Spike cautiously, “I have to have a promise from you, a big one, Spike. So, as a man, a gentleman and an Englishman, at least you are, you have to give me your word that if I tell you something, you’ll follow up on it, without going to my source, or their source.”

“I mean, friend,” Xander said, suddenly serious as a heart attack, “if I give you some information, you’ll have your people handle it, but you won’t harrass or grill the sources it came from? You’ll just have your own people check it out, where ever that may be?”

Spike set down his tumbler, after he drank the whiskey down in one gulp, “I promise,” he said, seriously, suddenly quite sober and giddy for whatever reason. Xander nodded and looked his British friend straight in the eye; “Happy Birthday, Spike Giles,” he began with a smile, “we think we’ve might know where Buffy is.”


A/N: Okay, now……next chapter we will find out just where and how Xander got this information. Thank you for reading and please review, writers so love reviews, good, bad, indifferent! Luv, Spuf





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