MAKE HER OWN WAY


Chapter 23: ‘A Mother’s Insight’


A/N: I’m having a horrible night and needed a lift so I decided to submit this chapter now. It’s kind of a ‘revelation’ chapter and ties into the next series of events. Besides, I’m going no where fast with my other fic ‘A Murder In Sunnydale’ and need some consoling.

Oh, yes, I see by the last reviews that folks caught the anvil in the last chappie! Yeah! Thanks for reading and all of the lovely reviews. Luv, Spuf



“I want to speak to my son, privately,” Jenny repeated staring at Spike intently. Rupert Giles hurried over to his wife, “Jennifer,” he sighed patiently, “you really don’t understand, don’t know how to handle this situation, dear.”

Jenny turned to face her husband, “I know more then either of you two insufferable ‘overgrown boys!’ For instance, I know that Buffy had no idea that she was pregnant when she left William and Sunnydale.” Spike and his father gasped simotaneously, “Mum,” Spike whispered, “how did you know?”

His Mother turned back to face him, her features suddenly softer, almost sympathetic to her son’s emotional pain, “Buffy told me, William,” she stated evenly, looking him square in the eyes, “almost two months ago. I’ve known where Buffy was for nearly two months, that and the fact she was pregnant with your child.”

Rupert Giles looked like he’d been hit with a baseball bat and Spike ‘felt’ like he’d been hit in the gut with one.

“Mum?” he gasped again, trying to find his breath and voice, “you’ve known where Buffy was and didn’t tell me?” His voice dripped with confusion, pain and the sense of betrayal that only a son could feel when he finds out his own Mother has turned against him.

“Leave,” Jenny ordered Rupert evenly, her eyes never leaving their son, but her husband stood his ground.

“I can’t believe this, Jennifer,” Rupert hissed, suddenly finding his own voice again. Spike’s Father was as pale as a ghost still, but at least his expression had gone from confusion, shock and hurt to the more determined look the son was used to. Both men closed the gap between themselves and Jenny, walking slowly still in disbelief or denial that this beloved woman would defy or betray either of them.

“All right, then,” Jenny shrugged in resignation, “stay Rupert, but I gaurantee you, you won’t like what I’m going to say and I intend on saying everything I have to. That is if William wants Buffy and their child back, which he does, of course.”

Rupert began to say something, but Spike cut him off, “go ahead, Mum,” he said softly, “I’ll listen, but I’ve a feeling I ‘know’ what you’re going to say. Believe me, it’s not something I haven’t thought of myself for well over three months now.”

Jenny motioned both men to sit down on the couch, but she remained standing. Spike had to smirk as he sat down next to his Father, watching his little Mother cross her arms in front of her and take a commanding stance in front of her two ‘boys.’ Rupert seemed to be completely clueless at the moment, something that was quite a shocker to Spike, that and the old man couldn’t seem to say anything at all.

“First off,” Jenny began with authority, “you two are going to sit and listen for once; say nothing until I’m finished with this little conversation. Got it?”

Both men nodded, awed into silence by this suddenly formidable female. “That is, unless I ask a question of you, then I expect some straightforward answeres. Such as,” she paused, looking at her husband, “who’s great idea was is to switch the birth control pills? I’ve a feeling it was our sons,” she directed the statement at Rupert, who paled even more, “but this smacks of something you’d pull, dear.”

Spike cleared his throat, “it was me, Mum,” he said quietly, unable to look at her, “I did it, but I’m sorry for it, I am.” Jenny nodded, “thought so, it’s what Buffy thinks too. Well, William,” she sighed, “your plans have a way of backfiring on you don’t they? I mean, simply put, Buffy would not have stayed with you even if she had known she was pregnant. She's a strong woman, William, much stronger then I could ever hope to be.”

Spike glanced over at his Father, wondering if his Mother’s words had more then one meaning; he soon found out they did.

“Jennifer,” Rupert interrupted, “you are a strong woman, in your own way.” Jenny tilted her head, mimicing her own son’s habit, “if I was strong, Rupert,” she responded, her brown eyes meeting his blue ones, “I’d have never married you when ‘you’ used the baby stunt on me. And, I certainly would have left you years ago if I had any backbone to me, like Buffy does.”

Rupert stood up and walked up to his wife, slowly, “I’d rather die then live without you, Jenny dear,” he whispered softly, tucking a strand of his wife’s dark brown hair behind her right ear. Their gazes never broke from each other.

Spike wriggled around on the couch, a bit uncomfortable to witness such an intimate moment between his own parents, as if he had no place there right now.

“Good,” Jenny stated firmly, “because we’re going to discuss ‘that’ little thirty-three year old plot of yours right after I’m done with securing my Son’s future happiness.”

Rupert gave his wife a half-smile and then glanced around to his son, “William,” he said softly, “you’re on your own,” then he quietly left through the front door.

Spike still sat on the couch, looking down at his hands pensively, much like a scolded school boy.

“William, you should know that Buffy loves you very much, but you do know that don’t you?” Jenny asked softly. He met his Mother’s gaze and nodded slowly, “why did she leave me then Mum? If she loved me, like you loved Dad, wouldn’t she of stayed and worked it out? Like you two did?”

Jenny came around the coffee table and sat next to Spike on the couch, taking his large hand in her small one. “Like I said, Son,” she said in her soft tone, “Buffy is much stronger, emotionally then I am. She has always seen the man you are, loved you despite of yourself and realized that you could become the man ‘you’ want to be someday. Buffy just realized that she needed to go away from you, for a while and maybe you could realize your own potential?”

Spike shook his head, still a bit confused, “so she leaves me, takes our child because it will change me? Make a better man out of me?” His voice was beginning to rise and his Mother, shushed him gently, “well, William, haven’t you changed in the last few months? I mean, aside from the stupid ‘man-hunt’ nonsense and the calling your Father every five minutes with updates, haven’t you at least began to figure out the truth about yourself? Your life and what ‘you’ really want from it?”

Spike stared back down at his hands, then back at his Mother’s loving brown eyes, “you mean, Mum, that I’ve finally woke up and realized I don’t want what Dad wants for me? That I hate it and always have, only did it for him? To please him?”

His voice was barely a whisper as he confessed the truth to his Mother, who, he had a feeling, knew the truth all along.

“Yes,” she murmered, patting his hand with hers, “let me ask you something and I bet I already know the answere to this one, but just humour your old Mother.” He smirked, “you’re hardly old, Mum,” he chuckled warmly. “Well, that’s a matter of opinion, but anyway let me ask you this:

Remember back, oh say over three years ago, before you met Buffy and swept her off of her feet, so to speak. You had everything ‘else’ that you have now, money, power, success and noteriety in the business world, here and back home in England.


Your Father was very proud of you, of course, you’d accomplished everything ‘he’ wanted for you and then some, but….”

Here his Mum paused and frowned slightly, “you weren’t very happy, were you William?” Spike didn’t hesitate, he shook his head, “no,” he answered firmly, “I wasn’t happy at all. I wasn’t ‘happy’ or anywhere near it until Buffy came into my life and lit it up, brought me out of the darkness.”

He felt those old tears begin to slip out of the corner of his eyes and wiped his face quickly to keep his Mother from seeing them. Jenny must have chosen to ignore them, because she continued with her speech: “William,” she began again, hugging her son to her, “if you weren’t happy with everything you thought you had or wanted, before Buffy came along, then don’t you think that perhaps ‘you’ never wanted those meaningless things anyway? I mean, I know about the Journalism classes you took in College, even if your old man doesn’t have a clue.”

Spike glanced at his Mother in surprise, he’d loved those classes, but no chance was he ever going to be able to use them, not with Rupert Giles having his future all mapped out for him.

“Yes, I’ve always known about your love of writing, all kinds of it and frankly, I always thought you’d make a better writer then a ‘captain of industry’ like your Dad.”

William thought about what his Mother had told him for a few moments then asked her, “so ‘why’ did Buffy have to leave? And why didn’t you tell me where she was, skip all the bullshit, sorry Mum, and let me go to her, talk to her?”

Jenny shook her head, “because you had to lose everything William,” she explained evenly, “you had to lose the one, or should I say now the two ‘people’ you wanted the most to realize the truth about yourself. You are not your Father and never will be and let’s be honest, Son, isn’t that a good thing, really?”

He chuckled a little, shook his head and asked, “so I had to become a loser to be happy?” His Mother shook her head again, “no, not become a loser, just lose something that really meant everything to you. Buffy and your child. I prefer to think of it this way…..you lost the real happiness in your life when Buffy left you, right?” He nodded without hesitation.

“So,” Jenny continued, “you basically lost everything and hit rock bottom. Now, when you face Buffy again, you can show her the man that she and I always knew you could be. You’re on the right path this time, William, you’ve realized what makes ‘you’ happy in life, what you really want. Who cares if it’s not what your Father wants for you and I just want you to be happy, darling.”

“I see you as a kind of Phoenix, William,” she continued, “you’ll go to Buffy, a new man, your real self, arisen from the ashes of your old life. You’ll….Oh for God’s sake,” she sighed, “I’m beginning to sound as dottie as your poor Sister Drusilla. In other words, Son, because you are becoming the man you want to be, a happy man within himself, a truly successful person, Buffy will come to be a part of your life again.”

“ Remember something, William, my Father, Grandfather Randalph, he didn’t die a rich or important man, but he died a happy one. With his loving family around him and the contentment of knowing he’d done well in life, because of that. He was a successful person, William, because he found happiness and joy in just living and loving all of his family, and receiving our love in return. Just like you can, Son, no matter what you do in life, as a career, how you earn a living. If you have someone in it, like Buffy, who loves you more then life itself and who you love just as much, well then, you’re a success right off. Just live a good, happy life, William, it’s all ‘I’ve’ ever wanted for you.”

Spike began to cry, silently, embarrassed by his traitorous tears in front of his Mum. She took that moment to hug him tightly to her.

“Will she come back to me, Mum?” he choked out through his tears, burying his head into his Mother’s shoulders.

“I can’t promise that,” Jenny answered, honestly, “but I know she loves you and she’ll at least listen to you now.”

He nodded and continued to cry quietly, rather embarrassed that he did seem to cry so easily sometimes. When he’d finally stopped crying, had gotten calmed down enough to look at his Mother, he said softly, “He’ll disown me, you know that, right?”

Jenny almost smirked back at him, “oh, your Dad, he’ll threaten to disown you when he finds out you’re quitting, giving up the family business, etc. You are, right?”

Spike nodded firmly, “as of right now, Mum,” he responded with determination.

“Well, like I said,” she chuckled, obviously picturing her Husband’s reaction to his Son’s decision, “he’ll threaten to disown you. Probably get good and drunk when we get home and even break up some of my finer furniture and vases, maybe even call an inheritance lawyer or two, but in the end, he’ll come around.”

William gave her a dubious look, “I’m not so sure, Mum” he stammered, “but I’ll take my chances, I just want Buffy and the baby back.”

Jenny laughed outright this time and touseled his hair lovingly, “if he even makes a move to disown you, Son,” she chuckled warmly, “I’ll leave him for good and he knows it. And this may come as quite a surprise to you, but your Father wouldn’t last a day without me, he knows that too. Besides,” she continued, “Rupert Giles would never cut the ties to the one link he has to future Grandchildren. He loves you and your big Sis too much to lose either one of you or any children you might have.”

William knew it was the truth, deep down, he knew his Father would go ballistic at first, but calm down, eventually, and come to his senses about the whole thing. Besides, it’s like his Mum said, time and again, ‘The Giles men hold the women they love in very high regard,’ Dad would never willingly lose his Jennifer. Just like he,William Giles could never be happy without Buffy or their child.

After another fifteen minutes or so of quiet and discussion, William and his Mother realized that Rupert Giles would have to be let in on the turn of events.

“I better be the one to tell your Father that he is not going with you to ‘invade Canada’ tonight. Or ever for that matter,” Jennifer Giles chuckled wickedly, “I almost can’t wait to see the look on the old blowhard’s face when I tell him!”

William was rather shocked to hear his mother talk like this, but realized that after thirty-three years of marriage, most couples had come to grips with their partners’ shortcomings as well as their assests. They all dealt with them, such things in the way they had to.

Jenny stood up and hurried to the apartment’s front door, “Rupert, dear,” she called warmly, “you’d better come in now. In fact, William is going to fix us all a drink at the bar. Make mine wine, Son,” she ordered back to him.

“There we are,” she chuckled, taking her husband’s arm, “sit down Rupert, dear, William, give your Father his whiskey. He’ll need it.”


A/N: This chapter did not go quite as planned, I had wanted to write Jennifer tougher then this, but…..I went with this plot line to show that Spike/William was truly changing already, already waking up and smelling the coffee, without advice from either parent. Hope that makes sense! Next chapter, well, let’s just say there ‘will be’ some Spuffy. Anyway, please read and review! Thanks, Luv, Spuf





You must login (register) to review.