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Home is Where the Heart Is, Part 13



Home is Where the Heart Is, Part 13
By Rachel

 
For disclaimers, summary, notes, etc. please see the first chapter.

Sorry for the delay (I know, you've heard this before) but I hope you enjoy this part!

 
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Another week passed, and Buffy continued to delay her much-needed conversation with Spike about Mr. Evans' offer for her gallery. Every time she started bringing up the topic, she lost her nerve and quickly tried to change the subject. Although her time was running out, Buffy just couldn't bring herself to just say what needed to be said.

Here goes attempt number fifty, Buffy sarcastically thought to herself as she entered the kitchen of his restaurant. Let's see how quickly I back out of it *this* time. Buffy spotted Spike slaving away in front of the stove alongside two other cooks. "Spike?"

Her husband cast a quick glance over his shoulder, a slight grin on his features. "G'afternoon, love," he greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"It looks like I'm wasting my lunch break to come by and say hello to you," Buffy explained.

Spike wiped his hands clean before tightly embracing her. Their lips met in a quick kiss before Spike broke away, asking, "Was there something you wanted?"

"Well, I was actually wondering if you could take this evening off, so we could spend tonight together," Buffy suggested. If he agreed, an evening alone would be the perfect opportunity to bring up her gallery's offer.

Spike paused a second before slowly and reluctantly shaking his head. "Buffy, I’m sorry, but I don't think I can do that tonight," Spike apologized. "It's been busy here all afternoon, and it's only going to pick up as the day passes."

"But...but I really need to talk you," Buffy told him, allowing her sense of urgency to show.

Suddenly jumping to conclusions, Spike nervously asked, "Oh bloody hell, what is it? Are you pregnant?!"

Buffy chuckled at his worried expression. "No, I'm not pregnant," she affirmed. "I just...we really need to talk."

"Well, now you've got me all worried, love."

"So you'll take tonight off?" Buffy requested, her tone filled with hope.

"I told you; I can't," Spike repeated. "Maybe tomorrow night?"

This time, Buffy shook her head at Spike's suggestion. "Saturday nights are too busy at the gallery, and Willow can't handle it all on her own anymore."

Spike playfully shook her shoulders, trying to get her to smile. "Don't worry, love, we'll work it all out. We'll talk soon, okay?" He kissed the end of her nose before adding, "Go and enjoy your lunch break now, all right?"

Buffy slowly nodded, disappointed that she would not have a chance to talk with Spike tonight about Mr. Evans' offer. "All right," she softly answered. She raised her head and lightly pressed her lips against his. "I'll see you at home later, all right?"

Buffy turned on her heels and left "The Silver Spoon's" kitchen with her head lowered to the floor in frustration. Spike watched the woman he loved more than anything else in the world trudge out of the room, realizing that things were nowhere close to being all right in their relationship.

Originally, Spike had planned and hoped that their marriage would ultimately bring them closer together. However, their jobs had spiraled out of control. Spike knew they were both were doing more than necessary. Now, their jobs were actually pulling them apart. They never got to see each other for longer than ten minutes except at night when they were too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

As Spike watched Buffy turn the corner and leave the restaurant, he couldn't shake this unsettling dread that everything was getting ready to completely fall apart.


~~~


Buffy wove her way through the line standing outside of "The Silver Spoon," determined to talk with Spike about their future with her gallery and his restaurant. Buffy's two weeks to decide whether she would accept Mr. Evan's funding would be up in three days, and she still hadn't answered him. Tonight was the night that she knew she had let Spike know what was really going on; she had put it off for long enough.

"Spike?" she called upon pushing her way through the crowded doorway of the restaurant. She raised herself on her tiptoes to search the masses for a bleached-blonde head. "Spike!"

A man dressed in the usual black and red "Silver Spoon" uniform approached her, asking, "May I ask who are you looking for, mam?"

"Spike. Uh...Mr. Giles," she corrected. "I'm his wife, and I really need to talk with him."

"We're sorry, but he's really busy right now, Mrs. Giles," the waiter informed her. "Can't you two talk after the restaurant settles down later tonight?"

Buffy forcefully shook her head. "No, I've been putting this off for too long; I need to see him."

"He's back in the kitchen cooking up a storm," he told her, pointing back to the kitchen’s swinging door.

"Thanks."

Buffy crossed the main room, cautious to not run into any of the waiters carrying trays out of the double doorway. "Spike, honey?"

"Buffy! What are you doing here?" Spike asked as he laid his knife on the table and took a few steps forward to kiss her on the forehead.

"I had to come see you," Buffy announced.

"I'm really busy, love," Spike pointed out. "It's a really bad time...rush hour and everything."

Well, whose idea was it to open up on Sunday? Buffy thought to herself, a hint of anger beginning to surface at his comment. It certainly wasn't mine. "But--"

"Look, go home and wait for me, and then we can talk about whatever later tonight," he thought up, before turning his back on her and going back to what he was previously doing.

"But by then you're always too tired, or you don't want to listen to what I have to say, or..." Buffy began. "I don't know when else to bring this up with you."

"Buffy, love, just...right now isn't--"

"Would you even miss me if I weren't even here anymore?" Buffy half-shouted, tears now beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "Because that's how you seem to always act nowadays."

Spike froze, her outburst half-unexpected to his ears. "What?"

"You're just...just so involved with your damn restaurant that you don't have enough time for me," Buffy replied more quietly.

Spike stopped dealing with the boiling food and bubbling soups, staring at her with disbelief on his face. "What are you talking about? How did you come up with this crazy idea, Buffy?"

"I've been trying to tell you for almost two weeks now. I probably should have told you that first night, but I was afraid of what you'd tell me in response."

Spike shook his head in confusion. "I just...I just don't get where this is coming from."

"A company offered me a deal--"

"A deal?"

"Phillip Evans, this man who is the head of this major funding corporation in L.A., came by my gallery and offered me a large loan to rebuild my gallery...a completely brand new and much larger gallery."

"Buffy, love, that's great!" Spike said joyfully, reaching out to squeeze her arm in affection.

"But...but the one exception is, is that it's in L.A.," Buffy finished.

"L.A...." Spike softly echoed. "L.A.? As in...Los Angeles?!"

"Spike, I know that--"

"Yo! Giles!" a voice boomed from the kitchen doorway. "Table 24 and 26 are getting impatient here! Are their orders done yet?"

Spike continued staring at Buffy, still not fully comprehending what or why she was telling him this. How could she not tell me this right away? he wanted to know.

"Hey! Spike! Are you paying attention back there? You better not be lettin' all the food burn, man."

Spike swallowed and cleared his throat. "Yeah, they're just about ready, Matt. I'll have them out to you in another second."

Buffy nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the next, lowering her gaze to the floor and refusing to look her husband in the eye. "I...I should have brought this up sooner...it's just that, whenever I'm free, you're busy, and then when you have work, I'm not supposed to bother you, so I don't know when I should have talked with you about this."

"You should have told me two weeks ago," he muttered. "I just..."

Buffy resisted the urge to run to him, wrap her arms around him, and swear that she'd never leave. Honestly, however, she couldn’t guarantee that because she hadn't fully dismissed the possibility of moving to L.A. and running her gallery there. "Maybe...maybe now that I've brought it up, we can talk about it tonight at home."

Spike slowly nodded. "Yes, I think that's a good idea, pet. I think we *really* need to talk about this tonight."


~~~


After cleaning up and closing the restaurant for the evening, Spike headed back to Buffy's and his apartment, an unusual feeling of heavy dread in his heart. Although he wasn't aware of the entire story, and regardless of the fact that L.A. was only less than three hours away, Spike knew that if Buffy moved away from him, it would change their relationship permanently, and probably not in a good way.

He was also well aware that as soon as he stepped through the doorway, Buffy would be right on his tail, demanding to continue their conversation.

"You're finally home," Buffy greeted emotionlessly after Spike entered the foyer. She finished descended the stairs, facing him with an uneasy smile on her face.

Spike froze, his face expressionless. "So this is why you've been so distant from me for the last couple of weeks?" No point in avoiding the subject anymore, is there?

Buffy let out a cold, heartless chuckle. "No, the *gallery* is why I've been so distant recently. There's just so much work there these days."

"So...so you just want to increase your amount of work by creating a whole new and *larger* gallery?" Spike's voice increased as did his anger as he spoke. He stormed into the living room, throwing his duster on the back of a chair as Buffy quickly followed.

"No, that's not it; it's that...Mr. Evans only gave me two weeks to let him know if I wanted the funding or not, and--"

"Two weeks?" Spike repeated, wondering if he had misheard her. "Bloody hell, that was...that *was* almost two weeks ago!"

"I know, I know," Buffy said, trying to keep her husband calm. She placed her hands on his arm. "I have about three days left to decide, and--"

"So you just decide to bring this up then? Gee, nothing like waiting until the last moment, is there, pet?" Spike shot back at her.

"Spike, it's not that bad," Buffy attempted to assure him. "Look, I know we need to talk about this, but I thought that I could accept the offer. We could move to L.A....it's not that far away, and you can--"

"Can what? Can drive a total of five, almost six, hours every day back to Sunnydale just to run *my* business?"

Buffy clenched her fists together, trying to contain her anger. "Would you *stop* interrupting me, Spike?!"

Spike held up his hands in defense, taking a few steps back from her. "Sorry, love. It's just that you've got to realize that this is just really unexpected to me."

"I understand," Buffy murmured.

"So why don't you explain it all to me? Tell me what you're planning to do?"

"I...I don't know," Buffy told him with a hint of regret in her voice.

"Well, you'd better figure it out, love. Your two weeks are almost up, aren't they?"

She nodded slowly. "I told you, three days to decide," she explained again. "But...I was hoping that you'd be willing to do this for me."

Spike forcefully shook his head in disagreement. "No, you were *counting* on me agreeing with you, Buffy...I know you better than that. You want me to pick up everything I've established here and just *move* with you?"

"Well...yeah," Buffy stated. "Spike, this is my one chance for the gallery to get the attention that it deserves, *finally*, and I don't want to lose this chance."

"I don't know if I can support this decision of yours," Spike informed her, turning his back on his wife and moving to the front door. "My job binds me to this town, and don't forget Xander, who has given next to everything to go into this partnership with me. I'm not dropping this restaurant…not for anything or anyone."

Buffy angrily stomped her foot on the carpeted floor. "Dammit, Spike! Why are you always so stubborn?"

"Me? Love, you're ready to run off to L.A. without considering any of the other options," Spike attempted to reason with her. "If one funding company is willing to support you, then there are plenty of others that would also do the same, and you could stay here."

"No, this...I have to take this, Spike," Buffy tried to voice her own opinion on this topic. "This is it...you've had your fame with your restaurant, and now it's my turn."

"So, what? You're just going to move away to Los Angeles?"

"I'm not sure," Buffy admitted.

Spike sighed, raising his eyes to the ceiling and shaking his head in exasperation. "Well, you're making the wrong decision, love, You are doing fine in Sunnydale, and...and if you up and decide to accept this bloke's offer, I can't support this."

Tears welled in the corners of Buffy's eyes as she backed away from her husband. "Fine." Her eyes roamed the room, placing her concentration on anything except the man standing in front of her. She took a deep breath. "We can discuss this more in the morning, but I'm going to bed."

"I think I'll stay up a bit more," Spike told her.

"Fine." Buffy turned on her heels and began leaving Spike alone downstairs.

 
~~~

 
On her last full night in Sunnydale, Buffy decided to hunt down Spike again. She hadn't seen him in almost two days, which both surprised and worried her. I've really blown it with him, haven't I? she thought. And here I am, pathetically trying to catch one glimpse of him and one opportunity to talk with him.

She found herself standing outside the back-alley entrance to "The Silver Spoon," pacing around and waiting for Spike to walk through the doors. A second later, she heard the door slam open and her ex-husband pass through the doorway. Buffy saw him direct a cold glare towards her before he continued down the alley towards the main street.

"Spike!" she called, picking up her pace to catch him. "Wait up!"

"What for?" Spike answered back, not slowing down. "So you can try to apologize to me again for something new?"

"No," Buffy forcefully told him. "Look, I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon, and I'm going to have to stop by and pick up those papers." And I just wanted to see you again to make sure you were all right.

Spike rolled his eyes. That's it? he thought sarcastically. "Suggestion, love. Use the bloody phone next time." He brushed past her roughly.

"Yeah right...I know that if I called you, you'd just hang up on me," Buffy retorted. "That's how stubborn you are."

I'm beginning to get really tired of hearing that word now, Spike wanted to yell at her. Instead, he turned his head to stare at her, gazing into her hazel eyes and finding that he could still lose himself there. He then wondered if he should regret the attitude he'd displayed toward her the last couple of days. "C'mon, love, let's go for a walk," he suggested.

Buffy quickly fell into step beside him and asked, "Where are we going?"

"Figured we'd go to Sunnydale Park," Spike decided. "You *do* remember what a park is, don't you?"

Buffy reached over to punch him in the arm. "Of course, I do, Spike."

"Just wondering, love. After all, you probably don't see too many of them in Los Angeles, do you?"

"That's true, I don't."

As Buffy and Spike entered the park several minutes, Spike led Buffy toward a bench near the trees.

"I forgot how beautiful this place looked at night with the street lamps turned on," Buffy commented as she lowered herself onto the metal bench.

"Yeah, beautiful," he agreed, not removing his eyes from her profile.

Buffy heard how distracted his voice sounded and turned to look at him, her eyes immediately locking onto his. She blushed and broke their stare, lowering her eyes to the grass.

Spike stretched out his arms and crossed them in front of his chest. "So, tell me love, what's so bloody great about L.A.?"

"Oh, lots of things," Buffy said somewhat over enthusiastically.

"Like what? C'mon, pet, if you could tell me even one good thing about L.A., I'd be surprised."

"L.A. is...it's fast, and it's hectic, and it's okay," Buffy began, trying to think of something good to say about the city she had lived in for the past two years.

"Honestly, I'm not hearing anything from you, Buffy," Spike teased.

"I don't know...I'm used to it by now. I can't really think up anything good to say about it," Buffy realized. "But...but I come back here, and I see the Sun Cinema and the Expresso Pump and...and I'm back home. L.A. is fast-paced; it's quick. It's so quick that sometimes I feel like I can't keep up. But...but this…here…feels right."

"Love...this feels right because it *is* right," Spike insisted. He leaned closer toward the woman at his side, gazing deep into her hazel eyes. "Being in Sunnydale...this is right." He uncrossed his arms and cradled one of her small hands in one his larger ones.

"I just don't know..." Buffy whispered in a daze, leaning closer to the man that she had once loved with every essence of her being.

"Don't..." Spike lowered his eyes to gaze at her lips, fighting the urge to lean in just a few inches closer and kiss them. "Don't know what?"

"Where I belong anymore..." Buffy’s voice was barely audible.

God, I could kiss him right now, she thought.

I can't. Angel... she remembered, thinking about her faithful husband-to-be in Los Angeles.

He'll never even know, another voice told her. Just do it.

Buffy pressed her shoulder against Spike's, lowering her neck and pressing her body close to him as possible. "We...we can't do this, Spike..." she warned, not stopping her trail of motion. Please don't stop this from happening.

"I know."

The two were less that an inch away from each other, their lips almost pressed against each other's, when Buffy's cell phone shrilled, causing the two to jump back from each other. The spell was broken, their moment ruined, and Buffy couldn't have been more relieved. She sent him a quick apologetic look before taking out her phone. "Hello?"

"Buffy?"

Oh God...

"Angel?!" Buffy stammered, quickly climbing to her feet and hurrying away from Spike. "Angel, hi! Sorry, it's just that you caught me at a really bad time..."

From several feet away, she heard Spike mutter, "You have *got* to be kidding me. Couldn't be at a worse time."

"What did you want?" Buffy asked, her tone sickeningly sweet and filled with joy.

"I just wanted to call and see how you were doing," Angel said. "Also, I was wondering when you were coming back home."

"Oh...uh, I should arrive back in L.A. tomorrow evening at the latest," Buffy said guiltily. God, I have to go back to being with Angel tomorrow night. Amazingly, she hadn't thought about her fiancée too often since arriving in Sunnydale. Her ex-husband had done an excellent job of distracting her from Angel. However, this phone call brought everything rushing back to her.

"Great!" Angel energetically replied. "I've missed you."

"I..." she looked back at Spike, taking note of the sour expression on his face. "I missed you too," she said in a softer tone.

"We're almost done with 'Confronting the Sun," Angel told her. "Faith is amazing in this role; she is definitely going to be an Oscar nominee this year. At least that's what we're all saying on the set."

"That's great," Buffy commented. "Look, uh...speaking of movies, I saw what you said at the 'Temptations' premiere on E.T. the other night." She heard Angel sigh on the other line and waited for his answer. When she got none, she continued talking, "I thought we both agreed to wait until I got back to announce our engagement, Angel. We agreed! In fact, I remember you being the one that suggested the idea in the first place."

"I know, Buff, but...it just seemed like the right time."

"And you announced it without any input from me," Buffy stated, allowing the anger to infiltrate her voice. "You just...blurted it out on national television! God knows how many people saw it, and now everything that you've said is going to become a scene that will be repeated on every station, every show, and printed in every magazine that keeps up with you."

"Look, don't exaggerate the situation, Buffy. I know you're upset, but we'll work through this," Angel tried to calm her rising temper. "I just thought that the sooner we got our news out, the sooner we could start actually planning our wedding."

"We're planning the wedding already?" Buffy wondered aloud. "We just got engaged a week ago, Angel."

"I know, but...Hollywood likes fast marriages, not slow, dragged out ones," Angel insisted. "That's just the way they do things here."

"Well, that's not the way *I* do things," Buffy informed him. "Look, I don't want to argue about this. I'm coming home tomorrow. We can talk about it then, all right?"

"Okay, Buff," Angel agreed. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"I'll come by your apartment as soon as I get back in," Buffy planned.

"All right. Buffy...I love you."

"I...I love you too," Buffy murmured softly, now embarrassed that Spike had overheard her half of their conversation.

Buffy punched the "end" button on her cell phone and slowly turned back around to look at the bleached-blonde sitting in front of her. A smirk was widely spread across his face, and Buffy knew he was preparing to say something rude to compensate for his hurt feelings.

"Trouble in Paradise City?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows. "Upset with the Poof for exposing your big news?"

"Spike," Buffy cautioned, hooking her cell phone on a loop of her jeans. God, I don't need this from him now. "I was wrong...all of this...me coming back here when I didn't need to. It was wrong. I don't know why I did."

Yes you do, a voice inside her shouted. You're getting ready to ruin everything, Buffy!

"You're just saying that," Spike told her, now sounding less cocky. "Buffy, stop acting like you're made out of steel and let me in! Talk to me, dammit!"

Buffy pushed her hair out of her face, trying to think of a way to quickly end her conversation with Spike. "All I know is one thing...I belong in L.A." Before Spike could retaliate, she turned and ran toward the park’s entrance.

Spike stared at Buffy as she ran away from him. "Two years and the chit hasn't changed...still runs off whenever she's afraid of having to actually face her fears."

 
~~~

 
The morning after his first fight with Buffy, Spike awoke with a fresh and clear mind. He knew that he had been acting rashly last night. Buffy was his wife, his first and only love, and he was well aware that this was her big chance. After all, she had supported him with "The Silver Spoon," so he would be unfair in not supporting her with her endeavor. This was her opportunity to have her dreams come true, and instead he had acted like a prick.

Spike headed out of the basement, determined to apologize to her and try to work something out. Maybe they could compromise and meet half way with an agreement. All he knew was that winning the argument meant far less than losing her.

Spike padded upstairs to their bedroom and searched for Buffy, ready to crawl on his hands and knees to apologize if that's what he had to do to win her back over. When he saw the bed neatly made, Spike turned towards the bathroom, confusion clearly drawn on his face. Spike noticed that the bathroom door was closed, and he assumed that she was getting ready to face the morning.

Spike slowly approached the door and knocked a couple times. "Buffy? pet? You in there?"

But he heard nothing.

Increasing his pace, Spike rushed through the rest of her house. She’s not here, Spike thought, not wanting to believe the obvious. His legs gave way, and he collapsed onto the couch. Turning his head to the left, Spike saw a single sheet of paper placed on the coffee table, which he quickly leaned over and picked up.

His eyes widened as he read over the letter, and he began trying to tell himself that he just hadn't woken up from a nightmare yet.

When he headed back upstairs and pulled open her closet, noticing dozens of her favorite outfits missing, Spike knew the truth.

Buffy had left him for that damn gallery.

 
~~~

 
TBC...

Thank you for all of the reviews! They all mean so much to me, knowing that you are enjoying the story. Stay tuned for what Buffy is going to do next in the present-day timeline. :)

And also...for those who know me for my site, Sinister Attraction: Darkprophecies died and I'm in the process of getting my own domain and getting the site back up. I think it'll be back up before the end of the weekend. Thanks!

 
 





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