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Home is Where the Heart Is, Part 15



Home is Where the Heart Is, Part 15
By *~Rachel*~

For disclaimers, summary, notes, etc. please see the first chapter.

Once again...un-beta-ed part...sorry for any errors!

 
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Buffy drove ten miles over the speed limit to return to Los Angeles as quickly as possible as she tried to forget all her memories of Spike that had resurfaced over the past week. All right. Everything is all right, she told herself. I'm going back to LA. I have the papers signed, and I have Angel patiently waiting for me back *home*. LA is my *home.*

But was it really? Still?

Seconds before she had left, Spike had told her, "Home is where the heart is, pet. That's what it feels like to me when I am with you, anyway."

And hadn't she felt exactly like that when she was around him as well all during last week?

Then why didn't I say anything?

Buffy shook her head, ridding herself of that thought. She pressed down on the pedal, wanting to get as far away from Sunnydale as quickly as possible.

It doesn't matter, she told herself. I'm going to go back to Angel where I can pretend like this past week never happened, and forget all about Spike in a matter of weeks. Everything will be fine.

"Everything will be fine," she swore aloud, needed to hear those words again.


~~~


Buffy unlocked the door to Angel's apartment and cautiously stepped inside, knocking on the door at the same time. "Knock, knock," she greeted. "Anyone home?"

Angel quickly approached her and leaned down to lightly kiss her forehead. "Hey, Buff. You made it back home finally."

Buffy forced herself to cheer up and smile at him. "Yeah, sorry I was gone so long, Angel. It won't happen again."

Angel shook his head. "No problem," he assured her, a genuine grin on his features. "Did you have a good time? Catch up with all of your friends that you haven't seen for a while?"

Buffy paused, taking a deep breath. "You could say that," she replied, trying to avoid the subject. Buffy sank into the plush, leather couch a second before Angel joined her.

"Do you want dinner?" Angel questioned. He took her hands into his and lightly squeezed her fingers in a comforting manner. "We can order something and get it delivered."

At that moment, Buffy couldn't help but think, If I was at Spike's right now, he would fix me some of that chicken parmesan Alfredo that I loved so much.

Ug! Stop thinking about him so much! Another part of her brain then demanded.

"That'll be fine," Buffy agreed, shrugging her shoulders. "Whatever you want."

"How about Chinese? Do you feel up for some Chinese?"

Again, Buffy indecisively moved her shoulders up and down. "That's fine, Angel. Whatever you want, okay?"

As Angel stood up and walked into the kitchen to call a restaurant, no doubt her favorite Chinese restaurant in the city, on the phone, Buffy reminisced about her previous life in Sunnydale with Spike. She remembered how he had made her feel whenever something bad had happened.

Then, she thought about Sunnydale, the town, itself, and how Los Angeles was completely different than that quaint, peaceful town that she had grown up in. It's rhythm and beat were more than ten times slower compared to the busy city that she had reluctantly become accustomed to. Buffy had loved the quietness of the small town, especially the serenity of the park she and Spike had spent that one night in.

Buffy gazed down at the large diamond ring on her finger, a frown appearing on her face. She twirled the ring around with her thumb, gazing at the object as if she didn't recognize it, or even *want* to recognize it anymore.

She looked back at her right hand at the simply gold and ruby ring, Spike's wedding ring that he had given her years ago.

And unexpectedly, she felt a strong yearning for Spike and could push it away no longer. She needed to feel his arms around her again; she longed to hear his thick British accent in her ears. Her mind, her heart...her *essence* was suddenly telling her to go back to him.

Get up, grab your bag, and go back to him, a voice in her mind directed her. Go back home to William, you know you want to.

Angel slowly began walking back into the living room, taking a few seconds to pause and stare at his fiancée. He watched as Buffy twirled their engagement ring around up to the point where it looked as if it were going to fall off her finger. What hurt him most was, was that she seemed as if she didn't even care that it could fall off. I should have known that this would happen, he regrettably thought with a saddened expression quickly forming on his face.

"It's over, isn't it?"

Buffy jumped on the couch and slid her ring back to where it originally lay. "What?"

"You saw him, didn't you?" He asked as he began taking a few steps towards her.

"What are you talking about?" she innocently asked while her mind was screaming, How did he find out?!

"Him." Angel repeated. "Your...whatever he is to you now."

"Angel, what are you talking about?"

Angel softly sighed as he returned to his place on the couch. "Willow. She filled me in when I asked her what was keeping you in LA."

"Willow did?" Buffy exclaimed, her eyes widening in anger. Oh, I'm going to *kill* her when I see her next.

"Don't be mad at her, Buffy," Angel gently ordered. "I think that I bugged her so much last week that she finally broke down and told me what happened between you and William just to get me off her back."

"Oh," she murmured, lowering her eyes. So, he knows everything now, I guess.

"Did you see him?" Angel repeated after a pause lapsed between the two of them.

"Yes, I did." Buffy truthfully answered. "He...I got him to sign the divorce papers--"

"But you kept all of this a secret from me," Angel interrupted. "I didn't believe that you had kept all this a secret from me. You accepted my engagement while still being married to another man."

"But I--"

"God, Buffy, we aren't even married yet and, already, you were going to start things off with a lie."

Buffy couldn't meet eyes with him as she softly apologized. "I'm sorry."

Angel shook his head. "Don't be."

Her head snapped up and she looked up at him in confusion. "What? Angel, you're suppose to be ticked off at me." When he didn't reply, she tried again. "Aren't you going to yell? You're suppose to yell some."

"No. Buffy, I'm not mad. Honestly, I knew something was wrong ever since I called you and you were so upset about what you saw on ET," Angel explained. "I knew something was wrong right at that moment."

"I really *am* sorry," Buffy repeated.

Angel shook his head. "I'm not." He helped Buffy stand and lightly kissed her forehead. "Go to him, Buffy."

Buffy cast him one last look, her eyes conveying more gratitude than words ever could have, before reaching down to pick up her purse and pull out her keys. Buffy pulled off her engagement ring and pressed it into Angel's open hand, before squeezing her small hand against his. "Thank you," she murmured.

"Go on, now," Angel repeated once more.

"Good bye, Angel," Buffy finally said, before turning for the door. Buffy slipped the ruby ring from her right to left hand, sliding it onto her ring finger as she opened the door and ran out to her car.

Hang on, baby, she thought. I'm coming home.


~~~

 
Buffy called Spike's number on her cell phone when she was less than ten minutes from his home and let the phone ring six times before ending the call. Okay, so if he's not at home, I'll just try his usual hangout, Buffy thought as she punched in the number for "The Silver Spoon."

"Hey, I was wondering if Spike Giles was available?" she asked the woman who picked up the phone.

"Sorry, mam, but he's not at the restaurant tonight," she answered. "Can I take a message?"

"No, no thank you," Buffy spoke. "Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"Well, you might want to check his apartment first and then see if he's visiting his father, if you know where he is, anyway," the woman suggested. "Other than that, I don't know where he is. He didn't say anything this evening, he just called this afternoon to say that he wasn't going to be coming in."

"All right. Thanks." Buffy paused before asking, "Is Xander Harris in, by any chance?"

"No, he's spending the evening with Ms. Chase," she replied.

Buffy thanked the young woman once more before turning off her cell phone and tossing it in the passenger seat beside her. All right, he's not at home, not at the restaurant...

Buffy turned onto the main road that would take her into Sunnydale, planning to stop by Giles' home first and ask if Spike had stopped by or told them where he was. She needed to find him tonight.

As Buffy passed the familiar sign welcoming her back into the small town, all she could think was, what the hell possessed Xander to start dating Cordelia Chase?!

 
~~~

 
As Buffy pulled up along the sidewalk, she hoped that Rupert Giles hadn't moved to a new home. After all, she hadn't checked up on him even once in the last two years, with the one exception of seeing him at Sunnydale High last week. Nevertheless, she headed up to what she hoped was still Mr. Giles' house and rang the doorbell, waiting for someone to come and open the door.

"Buffy!" Anya exclaimed, a bright smile appearing on her face when she opened the door. "How are you?"

"Great, and you?"

"I've never been happier," Anya admitted, obviously referring to the older man who was somewhere inside. "It's great to see you again."

Anya's bright attitude was contagious and soon, Buffy was smiling also. "You too," she agreed. Breaking eye contact with Anya, she took a second to sneak a glance or two back into the house, trying to catch a glimpse of a bleached-blonde head.

"He's not here," Anya bluntly stated.

Buffy's eyes snapped back to meet Anya's. "What? Anya, what are..." At Anya's glare, she then asked, "How did you know?"

"Let's just call it woman's intuition," Anya began. "Spike hasn't been by all day. Did you check the restaurant?" Buffy nodded. "His home?" Again, the blonde nodded. "Maybe he went over to Xander's place for the evening?"

Buffy slowly nodded. "I guess I can check there next," she groaned. "Thanks, Anya."

"No problem."

The two women turned to leave, but Buffy quickly spun back around to address Anya one more time. "Anya? Let's just say that I moved my gallery back down to Sunnydale -- theoretically, and--"

"You're going to move back?" Anya interrupted, her eyes bulging. "That's great!"

Buffy quickly smiled. "Well...I'm not completely sure yet, but I was wondering, if I *was* going to move back, if you were interested in a job?" At Anya's confused and questioning look, she quickly continued, "It's just that, Willow is going to stay in LA to finish up school, and I know we've never been good friends, especially in high school while you were part of the Cordettes, but I'd really love to have someone I know helping me out still."

"Buffy, I'd love to help you out," Anya honestly said.

Hearing that, Buffy's nerves vanished and she grinned. "Great. I'll call you and let you know what I decide, all right?"

"That's fine," Anya agreed. "Thanks, Buffy."

"No problem. Say 'hi' to Giles for me, okay?" Buffy cast her friend one more smile before turning around and heading back to her car.

 
~~~

 
Although she didn't want to interrupt his evening at home, Buffy needed to find out where Spike was. So, if bugging his co-workers is the only way to find out where he is, then so be it, Buffy thought as she pulled into Xander Harris' front driveway. A second later, she rang the doorbell and stepped back when she heard footsteps on the other side as she waited for the door to open.

Who she saw, however, wasn't whom she expected to see.

"Cordelia!" Buffy exclaimed, partly out of surprise and worry. "Uh...hi!"

The once brunette, whose hair had grown out past her waist and was now highlighted a dirty shade of blonde, warmly smiled at the woman standing in front of her. "Buffy Summers?! Oh my God, I haven't seen you in such a long time!"

Okay...this is weird. She's being nice to me, Buffy thought worriedly. She must be up to something. After all, the last memory she had of Cordelia Chase was her intense lip-lock with her ex-husband. "Uh...I know!" She stuttered. "How are you?"

"Fine, and you?" She answered.

"I've been better," Buffy honestly replied. "I was wondering if Xander was around? Someone at the restaurant said he was here."

"Yeah, he's around," Cordelia affirmed. She turned her head towards the stairs and shouted, "Xander Harris! Get your ass down here now!"

"Coming!" the two women heard him reply.

"So what are you doing in Sunnyhell?" Cordy asked, turning her attention back towards Buffy. "Last I heard, you had left Spike and gone back to LA." She paused, before her eyes doubled in size. "Are you coming back down here? Are you and Spike going to get back together?"

Buffy nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other, unsure of openly talking to Cordelia about she and Spike. "I--I don’t know yet," she managed to say.

"Well, everyone wishes that you would come back home," Cordelia said. "Spike hasn’t been the same ever since the day you left. I don't think I've ever seen him happier except the times when he was around you."

Buffy eyed the tall woman carefully, wondering if she was speaking honestly. "Do you really mean that?" she asked a second later.

Cordelia smiled and nodded. "I guess after five years, it’s about time we make some peace, don’t you think? Bury the hatchet and all that?" At Buffy’s slow nod, she continued. "Ever since you left, and he and I became friends again, I realized that there really was no one else for him but you. I really hope you two can make this work."

"I do too," she softly muttered.

"And maybe someday, you can forgive me for being such a bitch in high school," Cordelia continued, looking hopeful at the idea of the two of them becoming friends.

Buffy was about to speak when Xander appeared in the doorway. "Xander! Have you seen Spike?" she quickly asked.

"What? No, Buff, I haven’t seen him all day," Xander answered regretfully. "Did you check is father's?" Buffy nodded. "The restaurant? His apartment?" Buffy nodded at both of these options.

Cordelia turned to speak to both Xander and Buffy. "You know what? I bet you anything that he’s drowning his sorrows right about now," she suggested. "Did you check Willy’s?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, I didn’t even think about that place." After all, he never did too much drinking back then in high school since they were underage. "Does he go there often?"

"After you left him? Yes," Cordelia honestly answered.

"All right, I’ll go there and check," Buffy said as she pulled her jacket tighter around her waist, momentarily exposing her left hand to Xander’s eyes.

"Wait a second, where’s the rock?" he questioned.

"Gone," Buffy softly answered. "I gave it back to him."

"Wha--"

"I need to go find Spike," Buffy interrupted Xander, not wanting to waste any more of her time to explain what she was doing. "Thank you for your help, you two." Buffy began turning around before adding, "And Cordelia? There’s nothing to forgive."

 
~~~

 
As Buffy parked in the rundown, pothole filled parking lot outside of Willy’s Bar, she heard thunder rumble nearby. Before climbing out of her car, Buffy pulled up the rooftop to her convertible, just in case it started to rain. After that, she headed inside the smoke-filled and beer-scented bar that she hated too much.

Once inside, she paused and gazed around the room, looking for her husband’s peroxide-dyed head of hair. There he is, she thought when she spotted him at the end of the bar with a half-filled bottle of beer in his hand and three empty bottles placed in front of him.

Buffy stormed over to him, a clear look of disapproval on her features. "Oh yeah, this is real mature, Spike," she sarcastically exclaimed as she stood beside him and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Spike cast a quick glance at her standing to his right before going back to his drink. "What are you doing here, love? I figured you’d be back in your rich, fancy apartment in LA cuddling up to the poof right about now."

"I..." Buffy began. Suddenly, the words she had thought were so easy to say became impossible to speak.

"Why are you here?"

"I’m here to fix my mistakes," Buffy began.

Spike chuckled, his tone cold and uncaring. "What? Marrying me?"

"Spike--" Buffy tried to speak, but was cut off.

"Did you really have to come back to Sunnyhell to rub the divorce in my face?"

"What? No!" she cried out defensively.

"Then what the hell are you doing back here? Haven’t you done enough damage?!" Spike shouted. "Or do you feel like you need to rip out my heart just a little bit more?"

Buffy’s jaw clenched. If he's not even going to act mature about this, I don't even see why I should bother, she thought. "Well, I can see that I made a mistake coming back down here," she said, trying to make her voice as steady and calm as possible. "I guess that I thought wrong." She turned on her heel and walked back to the door, quickly exiting and heading back towards her car.

Overhead, the sky rumbled and a bolt of lightening lit up the sky before drops of rain began falling to the ground. Buffy increased her pace to a brisk run as she reached into her purse for her keys, blinking back tears that were falling down her cheeks and mixing with the rain. Suddenly, a hand reached out and grabbed onto her arm, forcefully spinning her around. Buffy looked up through the downpour and met her hazel eyes with a pair of cold ice-blue orbs.

"What the hell do you *want* from me?!" Spike forcefully demanded to know, shaking her back and forth. He blinked heavily, the raindrops getting into his eyes, as he stared down at the beautiful woman standing before him.

Buffy shook off his hand and stepped back to look down in her purse. Of course it has to rain during all of this, she sarcastically thought as she quickly pulled out a folded group of papers. She unfolded them and showed them to Spike.

"The divorce papers," Spike muttered, quickly becoming very sober. So she really did just want to rub the divorce in my face. But then he noticed that the rain was quickly smearing the pen ink on the first page, making their signatures unrecognizable. "Uh...love," he stared, unsure of the point she was trying to make.

Then, he watched in even more astonishment, as she grabbed the papers in her two hands and ripped the papers in two. She repeated this motion a few more times, until the packet of papers were torn up shreds between her fingers. Buffy tossed them aside to the ground, where the water quickly began to carry them away.

What the hell is she doing?

Buffy took a couple steps closer towards the man standing in front of her. He’s just...beautiful, she couldn’t help but think as she looked at his drenched form. "Ask me again, Spike." She took another step towards him, having to force herself not to reach out and throw herself in his arms, spreading wet kisses all over his face.

A confused expression crossed his face, as Spike wondered what she was referring to. Ask what? he thought, almost asking the question aloud.

But then, he remembered.

A smile flashed across his features as he asked, "What do you want, love?"

"You!"

Buffy stepped out and flung herself into his arms. She wrapped her own tightly around his neck, her lips finding their way instinctively to his as, at the same time, she felt him run his hands down her side before resting against her hip bones. Spike showered kisses around her lips, moving down to her jaw, and then back up to her mouth.

"God, I love you...love you so much, Buffy," Spike muttered breathlessly, pulling away from her for a second. He pressed a gentler kiss on her nose as he breathed her heavenly scent, now mixed with the rain, in. God, I’ve missed you, he thought.

 
"I love you too, Spike."

 
~~~

 
TBC...epilogue to follow!

 
 





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