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Rebel Hearts



Chapter 16: ‘ More Confessions’


As Spike rode away from Finnwood and his beautiful love, Buffy, his heart splintered into a million pieces. He barely noticed Lieutenant Abrams as he rode up to join his Commanding Officer.

“Captain Anderson,” Abrams began quietly, “it must be very difficult,” the Lieutenant hesitated, then, “it must be very difficult to have to part from such a fine woman as Mrs. Finn. For her, too, Sir. I know I am out of place, to bring this up to you, but I really feel that you will find your way back to her, Elizabeth Finn that is Sir. I just wanted to let you know that.”

Spike looked at the man in surprise, suddenly realized that this bloke was more then just a Lieutenant in the King’s Army, he was a human, with insight, emotions and feelings. ‘I wonder,’ Spike mused, ‘if Abrams has a lover at home in England?”

“Thank you Lieutenant,” he nodded at the man, “and yes, it is near impossible to leave Elizabeth, Buffy that is, it’s killing me.”

Neither man said another word, just rode on down the road that led them further and further from Spike’s love, Buffy.


‘One month later’





Buffy sat on her parlour window bench, the letter still in her tiny hand. She reread the words on the simple white paper, words that had not shocked her, no, instead they caused Buffy to mostly feel a sense of detachment.

The Contenintal Soldier, the one who had brought the papers to Buffy’s door, seemed more anxious then she did. Again, Buffy began to peruse the words written on the simple, if official paper:

Dear Mrs. Riley Finn:

I regret to be obliged to inform you that your husband, Captain Riley Finn, was killed in the service of his Country, these Independent States of America, on the 27th day of September, in the Year of our Lord, 1778.

Captain Finn died a hero while saving the life of a fellow Officer on the battlefield located outside of Wheeling Township in the new State of Virginia.

As required by Military Law, Captain Finn was buried on site, with his other fallen comrades-in-arms, in a nearby cemetary. Please be assured, Mrs. Finn, that your husband received an honorable Military burial, that befits his rank and service, and that the eulogy was in accord with his religious beliefs.

I send you the greatest regret at your loss and the upmost respect to you and your late husband, Captain Riley Finn. Please know that General George Washington, himself, sends his condolences and ‘thank you’ for your great sacrifice to our Independent States.

Enclosed in these documents, please find personal artifacts of your husband’s and his Military records.

With Deepest Sympathy,


W. Shepard, Colonel, Independent States Army


Buffy felt one lone tear fall from her right green eye and slip down her cheek, silently.

‘Oh, Riley,’ she sighed sadly, ‘you finally did it, became the hero you always wanted to be.’

She stood up and wiped the one tear from her face and walked to the parlour door, slowly. She was not, Buffy realized with no great surprise, heartbroken in any way that her husband was dead. There had been no love between Riley and she, at least on her part, very little on his, she was sure.

‘Now if this was a letter from the British, informing me that William was gone, then I would be desperate and lost,’ she admitted to herself.

Although, in truth, there would never be any way that Buffy could ever know Will’s fate in this War. Buffy would only know, if he came back to her, as promised, alive and well.

“Jesse, Mahalia,” Buffy called through the open parlour door, “please come here to me. I need to talk to you both.”

The couple hurried into the parlour and Buffy had Jesse close the door behind them. She cleared her throat and looked both of her husband’s loyal servants in the eyes, “your Master, my husband, Riley Finn is dead,” she stated evenly in a clear, calm voice.

“He is buried in Virginia, near where he was killed and will never be coming home to Finnwood.”

Buffy was not sure what reaction she expected from the couple before her, tears, fear or shock, even relief, perhaps, but Jesse and Mahalia simply stood there. They looked mildly surprised, maybe, but certainly not upset, just as she, poor Riley’s wife was not too shook up by the news.

Buffy thought for a moment then said clearly, “I would appreciate it, if neither of you spoke a word of Mr. Finn’s death, not until I give the word, to anyone that is. No servants on this land, no neighbors or even poor Andrew must know about his death, yet.”


If either Jesse or Mahalia thought their Mistress’s request ‘odd’ they did not show it. They both nodded and agreed to Buffy’s orders and prepared to leave her presence.

“Jesse,” Buffy halted the man servant, “I wish you to go and fetch Father Rayne for me. It is imperitive that I see him, immediately, here at the Farm. I am in need of Confession, as soon as possible. You may tell ‘him’ alone that Master Finn is deceased, but he is not to tell anyone else, not until I say so. Is that clear?”

Jesse consented to this new request and hurried out to make his way to the local Parrish in search of it’s Priest.

Less then two hours later, Father Rayne was escorted into Finnwood’s parlour to see Buffy.

“Elizabeth,” the Priest greeted her warmly, but with the right amount of sorrow in his voice, “I am sorry, my daughter, for your loss.”

Buffy stood up and allowed Father Rayne to take her hand in his, lead her to the sofa to sit down. Both the Priest and she crossed themselves at the mention of her dead husband. Jesse had shut the door behind him as he had left the parlour so Buffy felt the privacy to immediately begin the discussion she had asked Father Rayne to come for.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned,” Buffy began evenly, her eyes never left the Priest’s. “It has been over two fortnights since my last Confession and I have sinned most grieveously since then.”

Father Rayne, who sat next to Buffy on the sofa, took her tiny hand in his and repeated, faithfully, “tell me of your sin, my daughter, the Lord above will surely forgive you.”

Buffy hesitated a moment, then continued in a somewhat shakey voice, “I am a sinner, Father,” she stated clearly, “my husband is dead and the news of it has not caused me the pain it should. I am a heartless woman, God must feel so, to not shed the tears of a true and faithful wife for her husband. Instead, I feel relief, Father, that I will not have to receive him home, fear him any longer. So surely I will be damned.”

If the Priest was shocked by her Confession, Buffy did not see any sign of surprise or judgement in his blue eyes. After a moment of silence, in which Buffy averted her eyes from his, the man seemed to ponder her Confession at length.

“Elizabeth, my daughter,” he sighed, “perhaps I am wrong, myself, in this matter, however, it is no surprise that you have hardened your heart to your late husband. All who knew him, knew what kind of man he was, how he hurt you and many others around him. I cannot think that our Lord above would fault you for not being heartbroken at his death. No, we must just hope that Riley Finn has gone on to a better place and pray that he is at peace now. Can God expect anything more from you, my child?”

Buffy raised her green eyes and again met the Holy Man’s warm, loving blue ones with them. “There is more, Father,” she whispered to him.

“Go on, Elizabeth,” he urged her, somberly.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, most grieveously. I have slept with a man who is not my husband, before my husband’s death. I willingly and without thought to my marriage vows, took this man to my bed and committed adultry with him. I will most surely be damned for it.”

Again, Father Rayne, while he scowled slightly, did not seem particularly shocked by her Confession to him. “I see,” he said simply with a nod of his head. “This man,” he began again, slowly, “the man you committed adultry with, my child, do you have feelings for him? Other then lust, daughter?”

Buffy flinched a bit at the Priest’s words. “Yes,” she sighed softly, “yes Father, I care for this man. I love him and he does love me, too, I know this.”

“Yes,” it was Father Rayne’s turn to sigh, “Captain Anderson loves you very much Elizabeth, this I also know.”

Buffy gasped slightly and gave the Priest a look of surprise. “You know?” she asked him in disbelief.

In another surprising move, Father Rayne chuckled a bit, “Elizabeth, Captain Anderson and you, the looks between you? I saw the love between you two the first time I laid eyes on you here, at Finnwood, together. I am not stunned, or shocked in the least to believe that you two acted on those feelings.”

“However, my daughter, you must repent of your sin of adultry. Say five, no, let’s make that six Hail Marys. God will surely absolve you, my dear, and since you are now a widow, any transgressions in the future with Captain Anderson that is, will surely not be a sin in our Lord’s eyes. That is, when he returns to claim you, which he will undoubtedly do, as soon as he is able to.”

Buffy blushed profusely, but nodded and began her cant of the six Hail Marys in Father Rayne’s presence. When she had finished, she bit her lower lip, gently and nervously returned her gaze to the Priest’s forgiving stare.

“There is more, Elizabeth, I can see this,” Father Rayne stated gently. She nodded, almost shyly, which was odd since she had just admitted to her Priest that she had committed adultry, willingly, and felt no real sense of loss over her own husband.

“Forgive me Father, for…” Buffy found it hard to go on, especially with the ‘sin’ part, for deep inside, she felt no remorse for her next Confession. In fact, she felt nothing but joy and completeness in her next words.

“I am with child Father,” she announced quietly, “and this child, which I already love more deeply then anything, is a creation of my adultry with Captain Anderson. So,” she took a deep breath, “I cannot lie to you, or God, who would surely realize my lie at once. I want this child, I embrace it with all of by heart and soul, like I embraced his father to me.”

For the first time, since she began her Confession, Buffy saw some true emotion in the Priest’s wide eyes.

The Priest, Father Rayne, who, in the last few months since Buffy’s arrival here in South Carolina, had always been such a comfort to her, did not let her down, even now.

He took her hands in his and actually kissed the back of each of them, “bless you, Elizabeth,” he mumbled, almost tenderly. “For it is a blessing,” he continued, “when a child is conceived in love, such as this little one. Too many of the poor little lambs are not created in love, which is a pity and a true sin. This one, however, I believe, my daughter, has a good start since both of his parents love each other.”

Buffy was shocked, yet again, that Father Rayne was not admonishing her for her horrid sin, or at least scolding her somewhat.

“Tell me, Elizabeth,” he murmered, thoughtfully, “have you given thought to informing Captain Anderson that his is to be a father?”

Buffy jumped at the question, “no,” she hissed, “I could not. Oh, Father,” she cried desperately, “if I even got a letter through to Will, if I even could? He would rush off from his duty, leave his troops and hurry back here to me, our child. They would hunt him down, the British, shoot or hang him for desertion. No, I could not do that, I must not.”

“Yes,” Father Rayne nodded in agreement, “your Captain would most certainly do that and that would serve no purpose to any of you. Even if you could get a correspondance through to him, which is doubtful. Best to just hold tight and take care of the issues at hand.”

He stood up and began to pace, anxiously about the parlour, finally stopping before Buffy, his hands clasped behind his robe clad back.

“The important thing now, Elizabeth, is to protect your reputation and the future of this child you carry. We must come up with a valid solution to this dilema. Hmmm, I wonder…”

The Priest eyed Buffy carefully, “have you told anyone at all about your husband’s death?” he asked cautiously.

Buffy nodded, “only Jesse and his wife, Mahalia, I have instructed them both to tell no one until I give the word. They will stay quiet, why?”

Father Rayne nodded in satisfaction, “good,” he grunted, “keep it that way, for a while anyhow. Now,” he continued with a frown, “where did Riley Finn die, again?”

She handed the Priest her letter from Colonel Shepard, which he read quickly. With a sigh Father Rayne handed Buffy the paper back and thought for a minute, “I have a sister, a wonderful compassionate soul, who lives near this place, in Virginia. Her name is Tara McClay, she is a widow herself and a I love her dearly. I’m thinking, Elizabeth, that we must make a good and proper ruse, you and I. One that will still gossiping tongues and quiet any questions or accusations that might come up about this child, and you. I know you will not even consider going home to Boston, to your parents with this child. Poor Andrew would never make it there and you will not leave him, I know this. So…”

Buffy gave the Priest a questioning look, “ruse?” she asked quietly, “what kind of ruse?”

Father Rayne put his finger to his chin, in deep thought, “we must,” he hesitated, then went on, “we must convince everyone, except your trusted servants, Jesse and Mahalia, that this child is a product of your marriage, to protect everyone, that is. I have a tentative plan, one that must be fine tuned, but something, anyway.”

She sighed and slumped back onto the sofa, suddenly tired and overwhelmed with all of this. “I’m thinking,” Father Rayne broke her weary reverie, “that if we, you and I, perhaps Mahalia should come with, go up to my sister’s place in Virginia. Oh, for a just two weeks, perhaps three at most. We could put the word out that Riley Finn is injured in battle, no…” he paused, “better yet, ill from fever or something.”

“You will go to nurse him to health, accompanied by your trusted servant, Mahalia and myself as escort. No one would dare bother us, me, a Priest as escort to you both. Mahalia should bring her child, Jacob is it? With her. We will arrive in Virginia, at my sister, Tara’s home, and stay with her, sequestered and safe. Once we return here, to South Carolina, in the coming weeks, word will be spread that your poor husband, Riley Finn, succumbed to the fever. This way,” he scrunched up his brow, “no one can question the paternity of this child.”

Buffy was stunned beyond words. Her pious, proper, wonderful and compassionate Priest and good friend, Father Rayne was plotting to protect William’s and her child. It amazed Buffy and overwhelmed her that this Man of the Cloth would do anything he could to help her in this situation. “Father,” she whispered, “I cannot thank you enough, for everything, I…”

The Priest chuckled again, “oh, Elizabeth,” he sighed, “you are not the first woman in the world to get with child while your husband is away. I fear you will not be the last. In the mean time, we must make plans to spirit you off to Virginia and my sister’s wonderful home. You will like Tara,” he assured her, “she’s a good lass and has a good heart. She will understand, completely your situation and will help us in our ruse to protect this ‘love’ child of your’s and your beloved Captain’s.”

Buffy clutched her stomache, protectively, ‘beloved, he is,’ she acknowledged, ‘beloved, loved and missed beyond words.’


A/N: I decided to to submit this, I hope you all read and enjoy it. I know, since I am not Catholic, that I am probably off a bit on the Confession and wording and such. Please read and review this story and chapter. It means so much to me and other writers here when folks review. Thank you so much for reading.





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