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A/N: I'm writing shorter chapters than I usually do, but I hope this way I can keep going with steady updates and not get burned out. Thanks so much for all the great reviews, and please keep them coming.

***

Spike banged his palm against the steering wheel in his car for the hundredth time. He'd been sitting outside his ex-in-laws' home for almost thirty minutes. They probably knew he was out there, and they were probably coming up with a lot of terrible reasons for his hesitation, but there was just one simple thing keeping him out.

He itched for a cigarette, but there was no way he was going to walk in smelling like he'd been smoking. That would just add more fuel to the current inferno. He sat back and took a few deep breaths before opening the door and made his to the door.

The door opened before he could knock and he flinched when he encountered cold, angry eyes. "Hello, Darla."

"You're late."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, just trying to get some things together."

She rolled her eyes and stepped aside to allow him to walk through. "Is she ready to go?"

"I wasn't sure if you were going to show, so no. She's in her room, probably crying because her father let her down again."

He clenched his fists at his side and refused to turn and look at her. She was obviously itching for a fight, and he knew there was nothing that could help her more than him losing his temper.

"I guess I'll have to go assure her that something like that will never happen again." He didn't wait for her to respond and made his way to his daughter's bedroom, hoping to avoid Ethan. He was lucky and slipped into Dawn's room with incident. He found her taking her clothes out of her overnight bag and putting them away in her dresser.

"Hey, little bit. I'm so sorry I was late."

"Daddy," she said brightly, a wide grin spreading across her face.

He opened his arms and pulled her to him. "Want me to help you get ready?"

She nodded and stepped back and he helped her repack her bag. "I got a movie for us tonight, and some of that awful pink ice cream you like."

"Did you find out when I get to come stay with you for good?"

Spike swallowed and avoided her eyes. "Let's hurry up and get home and we'll talk about it."

Dawn's face fell and Spike knew she was too smart to fall for his attempt at delaying the bad news. He cursed himself, wishing he were a better liar.

"Would you like to stop and see uncle Angel before we go home?"

She smiled, but he could tell it was a little forced. "He's back from his trip?"

"Yeah and I'm sure he's got a bunch of presents to spoil you with."

Dawn shoved the rest of her clothes in quickly and stood. "I'm ready."

Spike grinned and took her hand, thankful that something could make her happy for a while longer.

***

"Thanks for having us over, I couldn't take her home yet."

Cordelia smiled warmly and refilled his coffee cup. "Angel adores her, and you're always welcome." She paused and he knew what was coming. "You can't avoid it forever."

He sighed and felt like crying, but he wouldn't do it now, not in front of Cordelia. She and Angel had seen him at his most vulnerable, and he wasn't keen on reliving that experience. "Tonight. I'll tell her. It's not the end, but maybe I shouldn't tell her about all this shit anymore. Just gets her down when it falls through."

"Spike, it's not your fault. Yes, seven years ago you made some stupid decisions, but you were young and you were just getting over Dru's death. If some asshole judge can't see that Dawn loves you and that you're a fabulous father... It's just not your fault so much anymore."

He nodded shakily and took a deep breath to keep himself calm. "Thanks."

Cordelia moved around the kitchen counter and wrapped an arm around his shoulder before kissing his forehead lightly. "It's going to be ok. Angel and I are going to do everything we can to help, and Wes will work this out. He's the best."

"That he is."

"But Spike needs a miracle, isn't that right?"

Spike smiled sadly as his cousin walked in the room. "She and Connor playing?"

"Yeah, she seems to like all the stuff we brought back for her."

"Just trying to show me up. Bastard."

Angel chuckled and squeezed Spike's shoulder as he passed him. "You doing ok?"

Cordelia shot him a look and Angel shrugged.

"I'll be fine, just worried about Dawn."

"Kids are resilient. She's not going to be mad at you, she'll understand."

"Yeah, because me fucking up is just par for the course." His jaw clenched and he ran a shaking hand through his hair. "Fuck. I'm sorry."

"Did Darla say something to you?"

"What the bloody hell do you think? Can't let me forget a goddamn thing. Every bad decision I've ever fucking made she reminds me of every chance she gets."

"You can't let her get to you. She's trying to make you crack so that she can use it against you in court."

"I know. It makes it a hell of a lot harder to know she's right."

Angel put a hand on his cousin's back and sighed, unable to find anything to say.

***

"Hey bossman, you wanted to see me?"

Spike looked up from his paperwork and smiled brightly. "Come on in, pet."

Buffy settled herself on the corner of his desk.

"I just wanted to see how you were settling in, if there's anything you need."

Buffy shook her head. "No, I love this place. And everybody's been really welcoming."

Spike nodded his head and sat back. "No problem with the hours?"

"Nope."

They settled into comfortable conversation after that about themselves and work. Buffy realized that she'd been working at the Bronze for three weeks and the only person she had left to get to know was Spike. She'd been attracted to him when she first saw him, but after that night she'd seen very little of him.

It was nice to find that they could talk easily and even flirt a little. She noticed the picture of the little girl on his desk and picked it up.

"Who's this?"

Spike tensed slightly and shifted slightly away from her. "That's Dawn. She's my daughter."

"She's adorable. How old is she?"

"Eight. Started a little young."

Buffy nodded, still looking at the picture. "So you were eighteen?"

"Nineteen. Finished my first year of college just in time to see her born." Spike was surprised at how comfortable he was talking about this with Buffy. Most of his employees at the Bronze knew the whole story, but only because they'd seen it for themselves. He didn't talk about it with them, though. Not Dawn unless it was good news, which it rarely was, and never, ever, did he talk about Dru.

"And what about her mother?"

Spike swallowed. "She... she's actually.. umm.. she wasn't well after Dawn was born and-"

"It's ok, Spike," she whispered, her hand covering his. "You don't have to tell me anything else if you don't want to."

He nodded. Part of him wanted to spill out everything to her, it might feel good to let someone take some of the weight off for a moment. He'd never really talked out his feelings about the whole ordeal with anyone. People knew things because they saw what happened, but no one asked Spike what he felt about it except Angel and Cordelia, and Tara. He'd never told them anything, however.

"I am here, though.. if you ever do need to talk, I mean," she said, seemingly reading his mind.

He turned his hand over so that he could lace her fingers with his. "Thank you. I may take you up on that offer."

She smiled and stood, squeezing his hand before letting it go. "I better get going, I've still got some work to do before tomorrow." She leaned over and kissed his cheek softly. "I'll see you later, Spike."

He just nodded, as his throat felt too tight to respond. He watched her leave and stayed there long after she was gone.





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