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A/N: The reviews have been great, I'm glad people are liking this. This chapter should clear up a few things, but there will be a little more to come. Please, keep the reviews coming, and enjoy.

***

Spike smiled as he stepped out of his car carrying a bunch of flowers and a small stuffed bear. His shift at the Bronze had been hell, but now he had three days off to spend with the two most important people in his life. He'd felt a little off today, and Dru hadn't been in the best state of mind when he'd left home, but then, she hadn't been very happy since Dawn was born.

He shook the bad feelings off and climbed the stairs to their small apartment. As he got closer he could hear a baby crying. He knew that it was Dawn. It shouldn't have scared him so much, babies cried all the time, but the awful nagging feeling the back of his mind was pushing its way forward. He tried to door but it was locked. He dropped the flowers and bear and struggled to get his keys out of his pocket. Throwing the door open, he ran inside, his stomach dropping as he saw Dawn wailing in her playpen alone.

"Dru?" He picked up his daughter and tried to calm her, rubbing her back soothingly. "Shh, 's alright, nibblet."

Dawn's cries lessened as she clung to her father. "Dru, baby, you here?"

His heart beat hard against his chest when he received no answer. "Where's mummy, Dawn?" he whispered against her hair. Dawn just closed her eyes and leaned against his shoulder.

Spike took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself. A million thoughts raced through his head. She could have had to run out for a moment, she could be asleep, she slept a lot nowadays. His feet felt like lead as he moved closer to their bedroom. His hand shook as he reached out to push the door open, unconsciously he tightened his arm around his daughter.

He could have believed she was asleep if her eyes were closed. His whole body shook, and the last rational part of him understood that he was holding Dawn and that he couldn't collapse. He squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a breath, holding it until he could place Dawn in her crib.

He didn't make a sound as he moved toward their bed and sat next to her. His hand moved shakily toward her eyes.

Suddenly she darted up, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. "You let this happen! How could you let this happen to our family?!"

Spike's sat up with a gasp. He cradled his face in his hands and allowed himself to sob, knowing no one was there to hear. "I'm sorry, Dru," he whispered into his hands.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood on shaky legs, knowing he would be unable to fall back to sleep. He made his way into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face, trying to calm down.

The nightmares about that night weren't as frequent as they had been during the first three years without her, but each time they came he could never go back to sleep. It was the worst night of his life, and the beginning of the worst year. He'd lost everything with Dru: Dawn, his job, school, and nearly his mind.

He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of whiskey. It probably wasn't the best way to deal with things, but he'd stopped drinking himself into oblivion after reminders like this one, and he was able to have a drink to soothe his frayed nerves without going overboard.

He swallowed most of it in one gulp, trying to chase away the voices in his head that told him he should have gotten her more help with her depression, that he never should have left her alone that morning, that he should have listened to his gut and gone home.

He was mostly done blaming himself at this point. Seven years later, he may still have dreams, they may still shake him up, but he was ready to move on.

For himself, and for Dawn.

***

"Hey Wills, come on in." Buffy stepped back and lifted the rope, allowing the redhead to make her way inside.

"So is-"

"Yes, Tara is here," she replied with a smile. "I think she's waiting for you to show up."

Willow took a deep breath and smoothed her skirt. "Do I look-"

"You look fantastic, now go in there and make your move." She gave Willow a little shove and watched as she approached the DJ stand with a shy smile.

"It's about time she got a little play."

"Tara?"

Gunn nodded. "I haven't seen her this pumped about anyone in a long time."

"Willow's the same way. Her last relationship ended in a bad way, so I think this is a good step."

"What about you?"

Buffy turned and looked at her partner. "What about me... what?"

Gunn smiled. "What about your last relationship?"

Buffy averted her eyes and laughed bitterly. "A world of bad. Actually, more like a universe."

"Mind if I ask what he did?"

Buffy leaned against the wall behind her and looked up, finally meeting his eyes. "It was both of us. I don't think I ever really loved him, and he didn't either, so..."

"So?"

"So he started paying girls to..." She trailed off and Gunn nodded.

"Yeah, I guess that is universe worthy."

Buffy shrugged. "And since we're sharing?"

Gunn sighed. "You met Wes?" Buffy nodded. "You met his girlfriend?" She nodded again.

Gunn gave her a knowing look and Buffy looked confused for a moment before her eyes widened. "Fred?"

He shrugged. "What happened?'

"Just didn't work out. It was bad there for a while after everything, but we all moved on."

"You guys are all friends still?"

"Everybody around here has learned to get along. I mean, there are conflicts every once in a while, but when it's tough, everybody's here for everybody else."

"So..." Buffy looked up at his questioning eyes then away again.

"What?"

"Nevermind, I'm just being nosy."

"There aren't too many secrets with us."

She hesitated for a moment, then decided to go ahead. "What about Spike, what's his story?"

Gunn laughed and Buffy looked up at him. "What?"

"You've got a thing for the boss."

"What? No... I mean, he's attractive, and nice, and fun..." she realized she was rambling and cut herself off. "He's my boss.. and I don't really know him. We've had a few conversations after work, but that's it."

"Uh-huh, a few conversations after work? That's more than anyone but his cousin and Tara gets.. ever."

Buffy shook her head. "He's just trying to make me feel welcome."

"Yeah.. that's it."

Buffy punched him on the shoulder and laughed. "Ow, save it for the troublemakers."

"I'm gonna take a break, you want a drink?"

"Nah, I'm good. It's been kinda slow, I can handle it if you wanna take off."

Buffy thought for a moment and nodded. "Thanks, I'm kind of tired."

"Plus it'll give you some time with a certain someone."

Buffy mock glared at him before walking to the bar. "Hey Xander."

"Hey Buffster, what'll you have?"

"Rum and coke, please."

"Get off early then?"

"Yes, and let me say, thank God."

Xander grinned and mixed her drink, setting it in front of her. "So how've you been, we haven't talked for a while. Which is kind of ironic, seeing how you get a job working with me and we see each other less."

Buffy smiled and rested her head on her hand. "I've been so busy with work and school. If I didn't love this place and the money so much I don't think I would keep this up."

"Keep what up?"

"Spike, hey."

He smiled down at Buffy. "Hello, luv."

They stared at each other for a moment and Xander waited for some kind of acknowledgement that didn't come. "Yeah, and I just work here, so I'll leave you two alone."

His words knocked them out of their trance and Spike looked over at Xander. "Hey, how're we doing tonight?"

Xander noticed Buffy's blush and frowned slightly before looking back to Spike. "Been pretty slow, that's why our girl here's having a drink with me and not kicking no good ass with Gunn."

"Damn, this is usually a big night for us." He looked over at Buffy who was finishing her drink. "You in a hurry, or do you think you can help me with something?"

Buffy swallowed the rest of her drink and smiled. "I've got some time."

Spike smiled and stood. As they walked away, Xander couldn't help but notice Spike's hand in the small of her back.

***

Buffy dropped onto Spike's couch with a tired sigh.

"Tired?"

She simply raised her eyebrow and he laughed. "Guess you didn't imagine I had manual labor on my mind when I asked for help."

"No.. not exactly."

He smiled and plopped down next to her before reaching into the fridge next to him and pulling out a beer. "Drink?"

"Yes, please."

He handed one to her after opening it and grinned as he watched her drink half the bottle.

She noticed him looking and blushed. "What?"

"Thirsty?"

"Sorry."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You are one interesting girl."

"I could say the same about you... Only, not the girl part."

Spike leaned back into the couch and took a drink. "What's so interesting?"

She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he drank from his bottle. "I don't know. You run this club in kind of a weird way."

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "I mean, these people are like your family instead of your employees. I especially love how you gave Willow a big brother type talk when she asked Tara out."

He smiled. "Well... They are all kind of like my family. My cousin used to own this place before he pretty much gave it to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah.. He made me clean up my act to get it, but after that, it was free sailing."

"He just gave it to you?"

"He made me finish my degree, changed it from English to Business, worked my ass off here as a bartender, and then yeah, he gave it to me. He had enough money to do what he wanted anyway, and he has a family."

Buffy noticed the way he tensed slightly at the word family. "That's a pretty nice cousin you've got there."

"He's more like a brother, and father... He's just really helped me out."

Buffy nodded and finished her beer. "Another?"

She hesitated for a moment and he opened his mouth to retract when she agreed. He smiled softly and handed her the bottle.

"So how's school going?"

She looked up at him for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Is that really what you want to talk about?"

His eyes darted down to her lips for a moment before going back to her eyes. "No... not really."

He moved his hand slowly until it rested on her knee. "Is this ok?"

She nodded slowly before covering his hand with hers. "Tell me about Dawn?"

He let out a short sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "When my wi-... When Dru found out she was pregnant.. I think we were supposed to be so upset or scared, but I was just so happy, and I know she was too. But we were really young. I mean, she was still in high school. We convinced her parents not to freak out, and we got married."

"Is that when you started working here?"

"Yeah. Angel yelled at me about being irresponsible for about five minutes before he made me agree to change my major and take his offer."

"That's your cousin?"

He nodded. "So it was great. We were really happy, and then Dawn was born and I was happy, but Dru... she had a lot of trouble. And..." Spike looked suddenly. "I can't believe I'm telling you all this."

"You don't have to," she assured him quickly.

He smiled and looked down at their hands. "I haven't really talked about this with anyone... I.. just haven't."

Buffy moved a little closer to him and ran her fingers down his cheek. "We can stop, I'll be around."

She moved to stand and he stood with her still holding her hand. "Do you have to go?"

Buffy looked toward the door then back at him. "I guess I can stay a little longer."

He smiled and stepped closer to her, his hand brushing away the hair in her eyes.

"Is this a good idea?"

He leaned closer, his forehead resting on hers. "I don't know, but I haven't looked at another person in seven years and with you... I think there's something here, and do-"

"Yes."

He smiled. "Can I kiss you, Buffy?"

"Hey, Spike can you-" Xander stopped in the doorway, his eyes wide. "Oh, sorry."

The couple jumped apart at the sound and Buffy reached for her bag.

"Was I interrupting something?"

Spike glanced at Buffy, her face was flaming and she avoided his eyes.

"I've got to go, I'll see you later, Spike." She squeezed Xander's hand on the way out. "Bye, Xand."

Spike clenched his jaw and sighed after she was gone. "Guess not."

Xander watched Buffy for a moment before turning back to his boss. "What are you pulling here, Spike?"

"No fucking clue, mate."





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