Chapter 34: Make Me Lose Control
Giles stared at the coffee maker as the last few drops fell. Usually in the mornings he would have his tea, but today felt like a coffee day. Today felt like it was going to be a long one and he needed all the caffeine his body could consume.
He had just finished pouring himself a cup when he saw Angel appear in the doorway out of the corner of his eye. “Good morning”
“Hello.”
“Did you sleep well?” Giles asked taking a sip of his steaming coffee
“Fine. What about you?”
“Not to well considering that Spike was in my bed and I had to sleep on my sofa.”
“Listen Giles.”
“What really happened to Spike last night? How did he manage to get a stake rammed into his chest?” Giles wondered his eyes glaring over his glasses directly at Angel as he took yet another sip of his coffee.
“I did it,” Angel confessed. “It was an accident.”
“Mere centimeters from his heart and you declare it an accident,” Giles snorted amusedly. “Somehow I don’t buy that story.”
“He was taunting me Giles,” Angel argued his anger getting the better of him. “He wouldn’t shut up about Buffy. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Cleary not,” Giles agreed.
Angel sighed. He was tired of arguing with people. He had done enough of it last night with both Giles and Spike, now he just wanted it to stop.
“How long do you think it will be before he wakes up?” Angel asked, glancing over his shoulder and down the hallway.
“Might be a couple of hours or less, he lost a lot of blood last night. He also went through a great ordeal.”
“Good, good. Something happened last night that I think you should know about. But, I really don’t want Spike to hear about it.”
Giles looked up from his coffee. He saw the concern in Angel’s eyes and knew that this was something he wasn’t going to argue against.
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“Who was that on the phone?” Joyce asked her daughter as she cleaned the last dish from their breakfast and put it in the dishwasher.
Buffy placed the phone back on the receiver. “That was Giles.”
“Oh really, what did he want?”
“He said I need to come over to his house right away. He wouldn’t tell me what it was about, but from the tone in his voice it doesn’t sound like fun. I’m guessing he’s in full research mode.” Buffy glanced down at her watch and frowned. “It’s not even 9:00 and he’s already like this. Maybe I can pretend I forgot he called and not go over to his house. I am so not in the mood for his endless twenty questions today.”
Joyce shook her head slightly, drying her hands off with a dish towel. “You should go. It would be good for you to get out of the house for awhile. Ever since Spike has been staying here you haven’t gotten out much.”
Buffy frowned even more at this realization. She had been spending less time with her friends and way too much time with Spike. Although the time spent with Spike was semi-productive, it still wasn’t a habit that she wanted to fall in to.
“Speaking of the undead father to my baby,” Buffy mocked. “I wonder if he is downstairs asleep. He wasn’t in my…..” Buffy caught herself before revealing to her mother what had taken place in her bedroom last night. “I mean he wasn’t in the basement last night when I went to bed.” She corrected rather poorly. “I think I’ll go wake him up.”
Joyce excused herself to get ready for work before Buffy made her way down the stairs to the basement. With each step she took an eerie feeling crept through her. It wasn’t until she reached the last step and realized that Spike wasn’t anywhere in sight that she started to rethink the whole ‘avoid going to Giles house’ plan.
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“Are you certain it was Drucilla you heard screaming?” Giles asked for the third time after Angel had explained in full detail what had transpired between him and Spike last night.
“Yes.” Angel answered for a third and he hoped final time. “I know my childes voice when I hear it. Plus I could smell her.”
“Do you think she’s alone in Sunnydale?”
Angel shook his head. “I don’t think so. She isn’t that independent yet, at least not enough to make it on her own.”
“Buffy has been having dreams about her,” Giles recalled from there sessions at the library in most recent weeks. “Maybe they have been getting stronger since Dru has been close. I will have to remember to ask her about that.” Giles stopped pacing when a thought came to him. “You don’t suppose….?”
“That Spike has been having dreams of Dru as well,” Angel completed his thought, indicating that he had been thinking the same thing. “I guess this means Spike has been lying to us. I knew he was up to something. Now I don’t feel so bad for what I did……”
Both men were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Buffy caught sight of Angel sitting in the easy chair across the room. Her heart skipped a beat. Without taking her eyes off of Angel she slowly shut the door behind her. She made her way into the living room passing by Giles along the way, whose presence she still hadn’t acknowledged.
“Where is he?” She asked. “What happened to him?”
Suddenly the pain she had felt last night came rushing back through her. It all made sense now. Last night Spike wasn’t in her bed when she had woken up, more than likely he had left not long after she had drifted off to sleep. Something bad took place last night and she had a feeling Angel had been involved.
“He’s in the bedroom,” Giles spoke up from behind her.
Buffy spun around on her heels, her eyes connecting briefly with Giles before she was off down the hallway towards his bedroom. She could hear Angel following her trying to explain what happened, but she didn’t stop to listen to him.
Her body tensed when she saw Spike in the bed naked from the waist up, a bandage showing across his chest.
“He was staked.” She heard Angel come in and stand beside her. For some reason she could not peel her eyes away from the sight in front of her. How did this happen she wondered. But, instead of asking that one question she made a demand.
“Leave.”
“What?”
“I need to be alone with him for a minute.” She told Angel and nothing else, something told her that he didn’t need to know anything more than that.
“I’ll be waiting in the den with Giles.”
She waited until she heard the latch on the door catch, signifying that it had been shut, before making her way closer to the bed.
“At least he isn’t dead.” She joked to herself, laughing softly. “That which doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.”
She saw his chest rise slightly and froze, waiting to see if he was awake. When he didn’t make another move after a couple of seconds she gradually sat down on the edge of the bed. On its own accord her hand reached out to touch his wound, a part of her wanting to touch him if only to reassure herself that he was really there and half alive. The tips of her fingers grazed his skin and she immediately felt the faint thumping of his heart. The breath she had been holding in came out in one big whoosh. She closed her eyes and let a slight trance overtake her as her fingers played across his chest, unwilling to lose their connection.
A painful gasp escaped her lips when she felt pressure around her wrist. She opened her eyes and saw Spike glaring at her, his dark empty eyes burning into hers. She winced in more pain when he lifted her hand off his chest and twisted her wrist in his grip.
“Spike,” she moaned quietly. “You’re hurting me.”
Spike ignored her painful cries as he twisted her whole arm and yanked her down towards him. Their faces were inches apart, his cold eyes never leaving hers. He felt her erratic breaths against his face and the unsteady pulse from her wrist as she tried to figure out what he was doing; afraid of what was going to happen next. He shoved at her hard, sending her flying to the hardwood floor.
Buffy couldn’t understand why she was so weak right now. How he was able to overpower her with his strength when he was the one that was injured. She warily raised her eyes to see what he was doing and the next thing she knew he was on top of her, pinning her with his body to the floor. Her head hit with a thud against the floor from the force of his body impacting with hers and she felt the blood leave it all at once.
“Weak slayer,” she heard Spike growl above her. Through her hazy vision she noticed that Spike was in demon mode, his yellow eyes gazing down at her. “Come to finish what your boyfriend started?”
Buffy felt her body throbbing from the pain running throughout her body as well as the emotional war that was raging within. Part of her wanted to cry out in defeat and another part of her wanted to fight back with as much force as Spike was showing. She could feel the defeated side of herself becoming stronger through some force she could not control. It was almost as if someone else was controlling her thoughts and emotions at that very moment. She knew it couldn’t be described as an out of body experience because when she opened her eyes Spike was still there, very much close to her and very much ready to kill her.
“Fight me slayer,” She heard him sneer into her ear as he nuzzled his face against her neck, his teeth barely grazing the skin. “Make me thrill at the chance to end your precious life.”
Slowly Buffy arched her neck, giving him better access to the area. Once again it felt to her as if something else was forcing her to make this action. Something was telling her that this was supposed to happen, that this was the only way to make things right.
Spike growled in frustration and excitement. His demon wasted no time in latching onto her neck and taking the first pull of blood from her veins. Then he was stopped, by the feel of two hands grabbing him by the shoulders and heaving him into a wall.
Giles ran into the room just in time to see Spike’s body sliding down the wall and coming to a heap on the floor. The next thing he noticed was Buffy sobbing on the floor and curled tightly into a ball. He quickly came to her side and helped her to her feet. He didn’t say anything to Angel as they passed him out of the room.
Angel waited at Spike’s feet, hoping his childe would wake up and start fighting him. He wanted an excuse to use him as a punching bag after what he caught him doing to Buffy a minute ago. When no movement came from Spike he left him there on the floor to go check on Buffy.
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Angel came back into the den just as Giles was handing Buffy, who was sitting on the couch, a cup of hot tea. He felt the guilt rise up in his throat again when her eyes meet his. He guessed saving her life a minute ago hadn’t remained fresh in her mind like he thought it would. Broodingly he took his place on the far side of the room so she wouldn’t feel the need to attack him about last night. He knew eventually she would get onto him about last night, but right now he wanted to hear her talk about what happened in Giles’s room.
“I don’t know why he attacked me like that,” Buffy admitted softly. “I don’t know why I let him get that far either. For some reason I cannot explain, but it felt like the right thing to do, like my mind was urging me to do it despite what could’ve happened to me.”
“Maybe the demon in Spike has remained dormant for so long that it felt the need to attack,” Giles reasoned. “And you being the Slayer seemed like the perfect opportunity to renew its deflated ego.”
“What did you do to him last night?”
Angel heard the question but refused to meet her eyes. “It was an accident.”
“Did he fall on the stake? Did he accidentally run into it while you were holding the damn thing? How in the hell does a stake being driven through his chest qualify as an accident?”
“What is this?” Angel wondered finally looking at her. “Why do you feel this need to protect Spike all of a sudden? He sure doesn’t feel the need to make sure you’re safe. We can all see that by what he was doing to you in that room a minute ago.”
“I let him do it.”
“It’s like he has some kind of control over you. Do you not see it? Do you not feel it?”
Buffy was taken back by his remarks. That could possibly explain the loss of control over her actions that she was feeling while in the same room with Spike. But it didn’t make sense. If he could control her that much why hadn’t he killed her long ago? Why wait until now to do it?
TBC………..
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