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chapter 23: bittersweet – part IV

She heard a loud crash and then a quieter sound she couldn't make out right away. Dawn bolted upright in her sister's bed and shook Carlo awake. “Something's outside, and it isn't Buffy or Spike,” she said through clenched teeth.

Carlo swung his feet onto the floor, shoved them into his boots, and pulled on his shirt. Dawn tilted her head toward the bedroom door and listened. Nothing. The noises were gone. Dawn sniffed the room. She smelled him. The air reeked of his sickly sweet odor. It reminded her of Janice’s baby sister; the scents of soiled diapers and rose water filled her nostrils.

“It's the portal jumper," she whispered.

“That bony bastard from the alley?” spat Carlo as he stuffed his t-shirt into the waistband of his jeans. “Shit.”

“Gotta go,” urged Dawn.

“Buffy said stay here.”

“Buffy didn't know he'd be here.” Dawn stood up, slipped her bare feet into her gym shoes, and fastened the top button of her shorts.

Carlo's large brown eyes stared at her as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. She could tell he knew what she had in mind. His expression was a mixture of fear and excitement.

“Ready?” she asked.

"Always."

The spinning sensation felt surprisingly normal to Dawn as the room turned gray and tiny bolts of light shot through the air. She hadn't known until the alley she could open portals. It had been pretty scary; unlocking a wrinkle in time and transforming it into a doorway to another place, another dimension. But Dawn had made up her mind. She'd do whatever she had to do to protect herself, her friends, and her family.

She closed her eyes. It was time to go back to the beginning and face the reason she and her sister had come to New York City in the first place. Holding on to Carlo's hand as tightly as she could, she opened a portal to Sunnydale.


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Crushed vertebrae, cracked jaw, and a splintered thighbone. Gruesome descriptions, but Buffy knew her body—and it was a broken mess. The thing Willow had called Shemhazi had emerged from beneath the crumpling concrete and clawed various parts of her body into pieces on its way to Willow. It had sliced Buffy open, mangling her with a thoughtless swipe of a gigantic paw. She almost wished she hadn't followed Spike blindly into the alley like some kind of savior. He hadn't even stuck around long enough to watch her die, vanishing as soon as the beast had arrived.

Buffy curled herself into a ball and swallowed a mouthful of blood, too weak to spit. She should have stayed in the apartment with Dawn. It had been safer there. If she hadn't run after Spike, she wouldn't be lying in filth thinking about dying for the third time in almost as many years. But she'd had no choice.

In Sunnydale, her feelings for Spike had confused her. Then she saw him in New York City and grudgingly had to admit the truth. She cared about him. Of course, she hadn't planned on telling him that—although kissing him those two or three times might have been a clue. When he'd jumped out of her apartment window, the look in his eyes had frightened her. It was as if he'd accepted it. Whatever wanted him evil, he'd given in to it without a fight. And that wasn't the vampire she knew. No matter what she'd said about protecting Willow, she'd run out of the apartment and into this black hole of an alley for Spike.

Now, she was the one who needed help and he was nowhere in sight.

Look at where love has taken me.

Buffy glanced down at her fractured limbs and tried not to cry.


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Screams echoed inside her head.

“Must have passed out,” mumbled Buffy as she pried her eyelids open slowly.

Squinting, she could make out Willow and the thing that had nearly killed her floating opposite each other above the pavement. They were tearing at one another’s flesh, all fingernails and claws, hoofed feet and pointy-heeled boots. Then it seemed as if half the alley disappeared and the two opponents retreated like boxers to opposite corners of a ring, slinging giant balls of smoke and fire at the each other’s head as they separated.

It reminded Buffy of watching a couple of kids playing catch, except with a really hot, smoky flaming ball.

She chuckled and then coughed as the heat burned her throat. It was funny how magic never quite worked for her as a visual. A battle of wills wasn't as appealing as the sight of a scissor kick connecting with a demon's stomach or a stake buried in the heart of a vampire. If she'd been watching that kind of brawl while lying on the ground bent and bleeding, she might not have felt so damned wrong and out of place.

Her vision blurred and Buffy squeezed her eyes shut as her stomach churned with nausea. She didn’t want to vomit. She might not be able to lean forward in time to avoid covering herself with whatever came out of her mouth.

“What do you want, witch?” bellowed Shemhazi. His booming voice revved the pain engine in Buffy's head.

“Remove the demon curse from my children!” Willow shouted back.

That made absolutely no sense thought Buffy, inching her body closer to the brick wall behind her. Willow didn't have any kids.

“You end this…or I will,” warned Willow.

“How witch? You exist because of me,” roared Shemhazi. “These half-breed demons are your curse. You did this to yourself. Don't blame an angel of god for your arrogance.”

"God?" laughed Willow. "God doesn't want you. God doesn't even remember you."

“You bitch,” barked Shemhazi. “He would if you'd stop this madness.”

“Fool! You think I'm keeping you from heaven?” shouted Willow. “You killed every man in that village, and raped every woman. Then you tried to make amends by giving us the wisdom of the roots and herbs and the words.”

“That was a blessing.”

“Yes, you created the first witches, but then you made our child hell's first half-breed, and now you blame me for your divine punishment?”

Shemhazi screamed, an odd sound coming from a hideous gigantic angel-looking monster, thought Buffy. He then shook his head from side to side as thick rivulets of black smoke rose from behind his head. Buffy rubbed her palms over her eyes. Willow had pissed off this big bad big time and Buffy was certain it hadn’t been such a good idea.

Buffy's attention switched to Willow, who appeared unfazed by Shemhazi’s reaction. She raised her hands above her head and lifted her chin to the sky. Then Willow began chanting in a language Buffy didn't understand. Not that there were that many languages Buffy could recognize, except for English, but this didn't sound like any of the ones Willow typically used to cast spells or call upon the higher powers. As Willow chanted, Shemhazi calmed and standing motionless stared at Willow as if transfixed.

They were so entrenched in each other, neither one of them reacted to the guttural growls rolling into the alley. Buffy turned her head toward the noises. Different from the sounds Willow and Shemhazi had been making, these angry barks were closer to the ground, closer to where Buffy lay. She pulled her arms to her sides, bent her elbows and pushed her palms against the pavement, raising her body a few inches from the ground. She then swiveled her shoulders slightly, so that she was facing the direction of the noise. She blinked to clear the smoke from her eyes.

She saw Spike crouching next to Willow, hands flat on the ground, eyes blood red, and his features feral and twisted. Jacob bounced on all fours at his side, grinning foolishly. Eyes wide and vamped out, they looked like wild animals, fangs dripping spittle, tongues lapping at dried, cracked lips.

Where had they come from?

Buffy glanced up. Then she looked back at the vampires as Shemhazi swiped Jacob across the head, knocking him to his knees. Jacob staggered, but then righted himself. Staring at the drops of blood oozing from the cuts on his arms, he growled at Shemhazi and slithered toward him. His features had morphed into a murderous scowl. He wasn’t backing down, thought Buffy. Foolish vampire.

Still, Jacob hadn’t been shred to pieces as Buffy had by a single swipe of Shemhazi’s claw. She watched amazed as the vampire taunted the angel with sneers and growls. He was making certain Shemhazi understood that he wasn’t afraid of him.

A few heartbeats later, the vampire suddenly coiled his body into Willow's side. Apparently he’d changed his mind and had decided to back down. Spike then sprang from his hunched position and propelled himself toward Shemhazi. But Willow snatched a clump of his hair and holding on, pulled him to her.

“Stay still.” Willow ordered the vampires as she released her grip on Spike.

"You will make our child whole." She repeated to Shemhazi.

"And if I don't?"

"I will destroy you."

"No...You can't."

Willow folded her arms neatly across her chest. She had a new version of resolve face etched across her features. "Okay, you're right. I can't. But your eternal existence will become an endless hell if you don't do as I ask.”


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A row of squarely chopped bushes with brown-tipped yellow roses withered in the California sunshine. They looked normal to Dawn, even for the middle of December. On the other hand, the air was suffocating her. It was thick like refrigerated syrup dripped over cold pancakes, all gooey and dense. Dawn’s skin itched as she felt the sweat roll down her back. She had expected it to be warm in California, but not so unbearably hot. She wiped the perspiration from her forehead and then pulled her palm across her dry lips.

When she'd left New York City with Carlo’s hand in hers, she'd wanted to return to Sunnydale desperately. But as she looked around, she realized she hadn't ended up quite where she'd planned. She was standing in a park she recognized located in the outskirts of town, far from Revello Drive.

Damn it! Why couldn’t things be different? Why couldn’t she be at home sitting on a stool in the kitchen laughing as Giles and Willow and Tara rolled their eyes at Xander’s latest silly comment? Or perhaps, she was smiling and the others were shaking their heads at some really wrong remark that had fallen out of Anya’s mouth. Or what if the Scoobies were waiting for Buffy to get home and go immediately into explainy mode. When she marched into the kitchen, she’d go on and on about some super demon. Dawn stifled a giggle at the thought of endless Buffy talk. Then with her big sister's voice echoing in head, Dawn figured her only choice would be to interrupt Buffy and introduce everyone to Carlo. Because, of course he'd be there, too. Buffy would smile sweetly at him and make it clear to everyone that she really liked him and wasn't mad at Dawn for dating. Then Anya would say she was hungry and ask Willow and Tara to cook her breakfast. Dawn chewed her lower lip, thinking about what might happen next. Oh yeah, she chuckled. Spike would rush into the kitchen and toss his smoking blanket onto the floor while smacking the flames on his body. As she and Buffy watched silently, the Scoobies would nod hello and he'd smile really big and wave right back at them…

Dawn shuddered. Daydreaming wasn’t going to change where she was or what had happened.

She looked around again.

"Giles?" Dawn saw a tall figure in the distance walking toward her. He was dragging his feet across the ground, crushing the grass under his footsteps. She practically expected him to slump to the ground. He looked that exhausted.

"Giles?" Dawn raised her voice and waved. Her fingers felt weak. Then she suddenly remembered Carlo and spun around.

He wasn’t there. She turned toward the swings and then the sliding board. Nothing. She spun in the direction of the sandbox near the stone fountain. Carlo was nowhere in sight.

"What’s going on?" she called out.

The Watcher was still on the other side of the park. He hadn’t taken but a few steps since she’d first seen him. Dawn’s legs started shaking.

A thin film of dust began swirling around her. It was spinning fast and her vision blurred. She could barely see the bushes and the burnt yellow flowers next to her. Giles had disappeared just like Carlo. Except something or someone was still walking toward her. She just couldn’t see who or what it was. The sweat on her forehead fell into her eyes. She wiped the back of her hand over her eyes. The dust was getting thicker. It clogged her throat, making her cough and cough. She was choking, drowning in the dust.

Then as suddenly as it had surrounded her, the dust vanished. She closed her eyes and opened them quickly. The park was drenched in sunlight.

“Giles?” she whispered as she saw the tall man still walking toward her. Except he was much closer now, and she could see him clearly.

It wasn’t Giles. It was the portal jumper.


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Spike had to figure out a way to free himself from Willow’s spell. He had been trapped by her power and the bad magic flowing between her and Shemhazi since fleeing Buffy’s apartment. It had taken over his mind almost completely by the time he’d reached the alley. He had wanted to talk to Willow. He had wanted to explain to her the risk of vengeance and remind her how much she loved her friends and family. He had wanted her to remember the young girl she’d been before the thought spell. But that hadn't happened.

Buffy had found him. He'd tried to talk to her, but couldn't make himself make sense. So instead, he'd jumped up on the roof as Shemhazi and Willow squared off. He'd had no choice. It was what Willow had demanded. And because of her newly acquired power over vampires, he hadn't been able to do anything except what Willow told him to do.

Spike had dealt with some dicey situations featuring a witch or two during his nearly 125 years of being a vampire, but he’d never experienced anything like the insanity that was happening around him now. If he didn’t get himself out of this predicament in a hurry, Buffy was going to die. It might already be too late to save Dawn. And Willow was pretty much a goner as far as he could tell. Then again, Spike wasn’t exactly in the best condition of his non-life either.

In between making feral growling noises, which he couldn’t stop himself from doing; he could see Buffy out of the corner of his eye. She sat on the ground, her back pressed against the brick wall, her eyes opening and closing as she slipped in and out of consciousness. Even if he hadn’t seen her crumbled in the corner, he’d have known she was there. He'd smelled her blood. It filled his nostrils and choked him. She was hurt badly and he had to do find a way to break free to help her.

to be continued...





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