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“Save me a dance luv,” He said softly before releasing her. It was going to drive him insane watching her tonight but he knew he would win the night. Like her he wanted all or nothing and since it had been her that had offered, he knew that whatever part of herself that was becoming alive again wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Like everything else about her, it was an unexpected move but he had a pretty good idea how to counter her this time.

Carefully keeping a good amount of distance between their bodies, they walked in silence the rest of the way to 1630 Revello Drive. The porch light had been turned on to banish the night and he walked up to the door to knock.

“Spike,” Joyce said after opening the door and gracing him with a warm smile. “It’s been awhile since you‘ve been by.”

“Sorry about that, this is Buffy.” He said stepping back to make the introduction.

Joyce studied the girl waiting on her doorstep and it was hard to believe that this was the girl her daughter had told her so much about. The clothes and striking makeup reflected the stories that she had heard but the expression in her eyes was one of tarnished innocence. Even if she was wearing blue jeans and a simple sweater, lovely in her simplicity, her eyes would give her away. This girl may be the same age as her own but it was plain to see that she was haunted by the life she had been forced to live and Joyce’s maternal instincts went into overdrive. “Buffy it is so nice to meet you, the kids have told me so much about you. Come on in and we can all get to know each other.”

It seemed so simple but after spending an hour with Joyce and the others Buffy knew how lucky they all were. They were a family, even a stranger could see that and she found herself yearning to be a part of that close knit group. But there was still to much of the girl from the streets still inside of her to let herself hope that she could belong there with them. Hope couldn’t stop the hunger gnawing in your belly and it couldn’t make something true, so why bother she told herself. She had been fine on her on all these years and even if she let Spike in, she could survive without him if he walked away.

Besides he was more like her than all of them combined, so it wasn’t unnatural that she found herself drawn to him on so many levels, she told rationalized, as the conversations flowed around her. He understood her in a way that these people never could, because like her he lived in the darkness. They might all fight evil but they just visited that world while she and Spike belonged to it. It had created them, altering their perspective and forging them into the people they were today and that wasn’t something that could be undone with a few dinners.

Even when she had been a part of the conversations and passed the plate of warm food to the person next to her, she still felt like she was on the outside looking in. Like recognizes like and Buffy knew these people weren’t like her and sooner or later they would realize that and pull away. So it would be better in the long run if she just ignored those unspoken desires and stuck to the world she did know. It wasn’t great and it sure as hell wasn’t pleasant but it was familiar and consistent in it’s own way, she decided. “That was a wonderful dinner Mrs. Summers but Spike promised to take me on my first official patrol and we should probably get to it.”

“But I thought we we’re all going to the Bronze later?” Willow said quickly.

“Maybe we’ll swing by there after we take out a few vamps but I really want to get my first hunt in before the Watcher shows up.” Buffy said getting to her feet.

“If you give me a minute, I’ll go get my coat. Kinda show you the ropes.” Faith said wondering what was up.

“Don’t sweat it, you all finish up your dinner. But next time, sure I’d like to see you in full slayer mode.” Buffy turned back to Joyce and gave her a polite but distant smile. “Thanks again for having me Mrs. Summers.”

“You’re welcome here any time you like Buffy and please call me Joyce.” She told her getting up to walk them to the door. She could see the poor girl was desperately trying to escape but she didn’t know why. “The same goes for you Spike and you two be careful out there.”

“Sure thing Joyce, safe as houses.” He assured her with an easy grin.

The second they were out the door and down the sidewalk, Spike shot Buffy a knowing look. “Domestic overload, huh pet?”

“Tell me about it, I though families like that only existed on sitcoms.” She said taking a fortifying breath of the crisp night air. “She was nice though so let’s head off to the Bronze and kill something so it wouldn’t be like we lied to her or anything.”

“The Bronze isn’t exactly the ideal place to patrol. There might be one or two vamps hanging about but their older and a bit more careful about calling attention to themselves.” Spike said thinking he had a pretty good idea about what had been going through her mind back there. She had shown up expecting a slap and when it hadn’t come she wasn’t sure what to do but she had stuck it out a full hour so he figured she deserved an A for effort. “We’d have better luck trying the cemeteries. A mite quicker I recon as well.”

“Faith may go looking for vamps but I got my own way of doing things. When we get close to the place, stay back a bit.”

“What do you have in mind luv?”

“Watch and learn lover, watch and learn.” She said cryptically with a toss of her head.

When the got close to the Bronze, he did as she asked wondering what she was planning. Before she had even made it up to the door he saw a man come up to her and despite the overwhelming amount of sun in California, his unusually pale skin told Spike that he wasn’t a man at all. He watched her try to lead the man inside but after a few halfhearted struggles she allowed him to lead her towards the alley. That was when he decided he had held back long enough, he knew that she wasn‘t carrying a stake and she didn‘t even have a cross to fall back on.

Moving closer he heard the sounds of a struggle and just as he rounded the corner he saw her launch into a spinning side kick and using the long heel of her shoe as a stake, dusted him. “I wondered why you wore those shoes. I would have never thought of them as a weapon.”

“Neither did he, which was why it was so easy. Sometimes it‘s just good to be a girl.” She brushed at the bits of ash that had landed on her and sent Spike a sultry smile. “So now that’s all out the way, let the game begin lover.”





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