STAKE YOUR CLAIM
Chapter 10: ‘Realizations’
A/N: The following chapter will start out kind cutesy and fun, then it will get serious. I want anyone who reads this chapter to understand where I am coming from here. Please be assured, I am not judging anyone or any way of life, on the contrary, I am trying to write my characters sympathetically and have you readers understand all of them. Thank you, Luv, Spuf
Buffy watched over her school room full of students carefully. The twenty-five students, ages seven to fourteen and one fifteen-year-old, were very well behaved, for the most part. However, now it was the beginning of the second week of November and the children were getting restless. Dawn had been a big help for the last couple of weeks, keeping the kids on their toes, in line and such. Andrew Snyder was completely mesmerized by the sixteen-year-old Dawnie Summers, but apparently, she was smitten with Connor Giles and he with her.
“I want your numbers written on your individual blackboards and turned in by the end of the week,” Buffy ordered the sea of anxious children.
“Then,” she added, “we’ll decide what we are going to do plan out for our Thanksgiving Pageant!”
Twenty-five young faces began to beam back at her, their excitement was evident and it gave Buffy such a happy warm feeling inside of her.
“I bet your folks will be thrilled to see you all in some kind of play, right Buffy? I mean Miss Summers?” Dawn stammered, embarrassed by her slip of her sister’s nickname.
“I think they will, too,” Buffy grinned at Dawnie, then her class.
“But, for now, I want you kids to do your numbers, go over the new readers and write a story for me. Let’s say you write about someone you admire, a hero to you, or heroine from history. Or, someone you know personally. That’s the assignment for this week. I’d like that report by Monday of of next week. Leave enough time for your home chores and don’t be late to class for the rest of the term.”
Buffy smiled as she dismissed the classroom, eyeing Dawn closely. Dawn was staring out the school house window, her mind definitely somewhere else, probably on Connor Giles who usually made an appearance right about this time of day. Him, and his older brother Spike.
“Dawnie,” Buffy began as she walked over to her little sister, keeping watch at the window, “I think maybe you should…..”
She was interrupted by a breathless Johnathan Rosenberg, who burst into the now student empty school house, “it’s my cousin, Willow!” he announced eagerly, “she’s had the baby! It’s a little boy!”
Buffy dropped the reader she had in her hand and grabbed Dawn quickly, “we’ll have to go over right now!” she crowed happily. “I promised Wills I’d be there right after the baby was born!”
Dawn and Buffy hurried after Johnathan, barely stopping to close and lock up the school house behind them. When they reached the Osbourne household, Daniel, Willow’s husband was already passing out cigars and grinning proudly to the few visitors that sat about their parlour.
“Buffy,” he cried, eagerly, “it’s a boy! My son! Willow’s fine, Doctor Wilkens really came through for us. Thought we’d call him Daniel Saul Osbourne., after me and Uncle Saul here, of course!”
Daniel was so proud as he almost strutted about the room, grinning like a loon and his Uncle Ethan just beamed like a new Father himself.
Saul Rosenberg beamed at everyone like it was his own child, too, that had just been born.
“I think we should break out the brandy, Daniel,” he offerred, “his eyes filled with family pride, “the ladies must have a glass and us of course!”
Tara Rosenberg took that moment to enter the front area of the house from the room that held Willow, the baby and Doc Wilkens.
“I’ll have a glass darling,” she smiled warmly at her older husband, “but I think Dawn should maybe have tea?” she offerred with a giggle.
Dawn looked a little dissapointed, momentarily, but soon accepted the offerred cup of Earl Grey with appreciation. Buffy took the brandy snifter, swirling the contents quickly and taking just an appropriate sip or two before congratulating Daniel on his new son.
“Erin go Braugh!” Buffy shouted happily, toasting Daniel Osbourne and his wife and child in the custom she and Daniel were used to.
“Mazaltov!” Saul Rosenberg chimed in with gusto as he raised his glass.
“Bless us all,” Daniel crowed excitedly, his heigth seemed to grow six inches in a minute!
Later, after Daniel had retired into the bedroom he shared with his wife and now newborn son, Buffy and Tara sat out in the parlour of the Osbourne home. Dawn had long since fallen asleep on the comfortable sofa and Buffy longed to join her little sister in slumber, but Tara had other plans.
“Buffy,” Tara whispered conspiritorialy, “can I talk to you? Female talk that is?”
Buffy was taken aback by the forthrightness of the usually reserved Tara Rosenberg. “Uhm, sure, Tara,” she stammered, rising to join the woman in the kitchen of the Osbourne household. Saul, Tara’s husband had fallen asleep in extra bedroom of the house and now it was just Tara and Buffy awake in the rather large building. Tara went about the kitchen, busying herself making some tea and setting out biscuits for both Buffy and herself.
“I normally don’t intrude or stick my nose into other people’s business, Buffy, but I feel I must speak up with you,” she cautioned.
Sitting down next to Buffy on a kitchen chair, Tara sipped her tea and pondered her next words.
“I was wondering, Buffy,” she began carefully, choosing her words with caution, “about you. You and Spike Giles, and, well, Riley Finn.”
Buffy was stunned, she had no idea that someone like Tara Rosenberg would ever wonder about her or any of the people in her life. The tall, solidly built, sweet faced Tara seemed more interested in things such as business, her husband and his two children. Never, did Buffy ever think for one moment that Tara would consider her life and the Summer’s family members. But here Tara was, asking questions about Buffy’s love interests and such, it perplexed her, but for some reason, she found it easy to open up to Mrs. Rosenberg.
“Please do not be angry with me, Buffy,” Tara pleaded softly, setting her tea cup down on the table, “I just wondered some things. You know, we all think so much of you and your family here in Cheyenne. We just want you to be happy.”
Buffy looked down at her little tea cup and began to worry her bottom lip with her blunt teeth. It was a habit she had picked up years before and one she was not all that happy with.
“I don’t know what to say Tara,” Buffy stammered shyly, “I’m a little surprised that you would even ask such things.”
“Well, sometimes I surprise Saul and myself,” Tara chuckled softly with a wink at Buffy. “It’s just that, I know that the two men I mentioned are very much in love with you, and I know who the one most of the town is rooting for. But….”
Tara frowned a little, “I guess I just wondered why, since it’s so very obvious that you and Spike Giles are a match, the chemistry between you is obvious. I wonder, why do you shy away from the mutual attraction that is so apparent, between you and Spike? Why do you see Riley? I know Deputy Finn is a good man, a very good man really, but he just doesn’t seem to fit with you. I know it’s none of my business, but I’m confused, just like a lot of folks around here and we do talk, we townspeople. Oh, forget it, I’m sorry,” the older woman blushed and looked away from Buffy.
Buffy sat for a moment, silently stunned that Tara would ask such things from her. However, Buffy felt, deep down inside, that Tara Rosenberg may just be the one person in her life that might understand her dissapointments and fears left over from her marriage to Parker.
“I’m afraid of Spike,” Buffy stammered, quietly, unable to look at Tara. “No,” she then shook her head, “not afraid of him, but of how I feel about him and how he feels about me. I’m just afraid of well, that chemistry you mentioned, passion is what it really is. I know he has it for me, Spike that is, and I have it for him, but….”
Tara scrunched up her brows and took Buffy’s little hand in hers, “sweetie,” she began softly, “I think there’s something truly troubling you from your past, your life with Parker Abrams. To me, it’s coloring your emotions for Spike and causing you some awfully bad feelings about yourself. Am I right?”
Buffy could only nod, her eyes had already begun to fill with tiny, hot tears.
“If you don’t want to talk about it Buffy, that’s okay.”
With a shake of her head, Buffy communicated that she really ‘did’ want to talk about it with Tara, her above anyone else.
“I, I need to talk about it, Tara and I can’t think of anyone better to discuss it with. It’s just that I never told anyone else, not my parents, not Mammy Buffy, certainly not Dawn or Cordelia. Cordelia would never understand and Willow? She’s a little too innocent and I don’t know if she could take this.”
Tara thought for a moment, then, “I think I’m beginning to see the picture here, honey. You didn’t feel ‘that way’ about Parker, did you? I mean, you were friends, devoted to each other, that I get, but the passion part?”
Buffy couldn’t help it, she began to giggle, shaking her head firmly, "yeah, there was certainly none of that between Parker and I. Just family, duty and trying to please our parents. Poor Parker,” she sighed sadly, “I have always wondered if perhaps I had been more aggressive in that way,” she blushed again, “maybe what happened would’t have.”
Tara patted Buffy’s hand warmly, “you can tell me, if you want, I won’t breathe a word of it ever, to anyone, sweetie. I promise.”
Buffy nodded, “I know,” she whispered raspily, tears now falling down her cheeks freely. “It’s like this, Tara, Parker and I were childhood sweethearts, best friends. It was expected of us to grow up, get married, carry on our respective family lines with each other. My Father and Parker’s Father were also best friends and business partners, but they, our parents, they didn’t know Parker or me for that matter, at all.”
“I got married to Parker,” she continued hoarsely, wiping at the tears, “thinking that since we were such close friends, that the other part, the missing passionate love I did not feel, would not be a problem. But, even after the first few months of marriage, I realized that it was a very big problem for us both. Parker loved me, but I found out that he didn’t love me in ‘that way’ either. Not anymore then I did him. Maybe if I’d been more aggressive that way,” she repeated, staring of into space, maybe…”
Tara squeezed her hand, “what happened, Buffy?” she asked sympathetically.
Buffy looked Tara straight in the eye, “I caught him with someone else, quite by accident. About a year after we married.”
“Oh,” Tara sighed sympathetically, “I’m sorry Buffy, truly. I know if I ever found Saul with some other woman, I’d just die of sorrow.”
Buffy chuckled sardonically and looked back at Tara, her slight smile immediately became a sad frown.
“I didn’t catch Parker with another woman, Tara,” she whispered, “I caught him with another man. Scott Hope to be exact, the Baptist Minister’s youngest son.”
Tara looked surprised, kind of, but she shook her head a bit to shake off her haze.
“I see,” Tara responded simply, scrunching her brows again.
Buffy was so embarrassed that she could only stare at the little table between them.
“So,” Tara began, so low that Buffy could barely hear her, “you think that ‘you’ could have changed who your husband felt his passionate love for? No Buffy, you couldn’t have. Nothing you could have done, or couldn’t have done would have changed the outcome of your marriage to Parker. It’s an act of nature, Buffy, I believe that, when a man feels that way for other men. Same with women, some women are great friends with men, but their passion is for other women. It was Parker’s nature, Buffy, and he probably felt that with the way Society and convention frowns on such things, he’d be an outcast. That’s why he married you, Buffy, he cared for you, wanted to please his family. So much so, he went against what nature had chosen for him. It’s a pity, really, honey, but not your doing at all, Society forced Parker to go against his nature and you got all caught up in it. I’m sorry for both of you.”
“So,” Buffy stammered, the tears evident in her eyes again, “you’re saying that no matter how I was, how I felt or what I tried to do to make my marriage work…”
Tara nodded, sqeezing Buffy’s hand again, “Parker and you, both of you were totally without fault in this matter, Buffy. So, if you think about it, truly think about it and give yourself some time, a chance to realize that you are not cold hearted. Understand that you shouldn’t be afraid to love ‘someone’ like Spike, someone that loves you with so much passion and conviction. Then, my dear Buffy, you can give yourself and your passion for Spike back to him. And, I feel you both deserve that.”
Buffy nodded, thinking about what Tara had just helped her realize, “I’ll think on what you said Tara and thank you so very much."”
Tara smiled warmly at her, “why don’t you wash your pretty face, sweetie,” she advised, “Dawn will probably wake up soon and we don’t want her to have seen you crying.”
A/N: I hope in this chapter, that I have written it with character, dignity and it clears up some of Buffy’s issues. I hope that no one takes offense to it, I meant none. If Society was more opened minded, especially back in that time, so many more people would have lived happier lives, the way they could have. Thanks Luv, Spuf
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