Cordelia sat with Buffy and Spike on the couch in the center of the Hyperion's lobby as they looked at her with hopeful eyes, as if waiting for her to answer all their questions. It was a different experience from what she'd known with either of them before, especially Buffy. The few times Cordelia had seen Buffy since she'd left Sunnydale, she'd still been the same stuck-up cheerleader in the Slayer's eyes, not the woman she'd become in LA. But now Buffy was looking at her differently, as if she were someone who could have something important to say.
It made Cordy realize how much Buffy must've changed as well in the past five years. Cordelia had never really cared for her in the past, even using her as a scapegoat for all her problems. However, when she looked at Buffy now, she saw a tired young woman who'd known too much suffering in her few years.
Cordelia could certainly relate to that…
She let out a deep breath, deciding on how much and what to tell them. In her recent time back in the Higher Realms, she'd learned much, seen numerous possible paths and outcomes for the future. Nevertheless, she'd also learned in the years since she'd become a Seer that nothing not yet done was set in stone. It was why prophecies were so often cryptic, much like horoscopes. You bettered your chances of getting something right if you made it vague and open to multiple interpretations.
Making up her mind about how much to divulge, Cordelia began to speak. "How the Shanshu Prophecy would be fulfilled has been up in the air for a while now. There wasn't supposed to be two vampires with souls. The PTB had planned on one vampire going from warrior of darkness to Champion."
"And what, I threw a spanner in the works by making myself all soul-having?" Spike asked.
"Actually no," Cordy replied. "That was Angel. His soul was never really supposed to be returned to him in the first place. That was just a fluke brought on by a gypsy curse. The vampire with a soul has been prophesized for thousands of years, and it was always believed that that vampire would actively choose the path of good, make a decision to be more than he was. But then Angel was cursed, and some of the Higher Beings started to suspect that they'd been wrong about that. So Angel was set on the path towards being a Champion."
"Wait," Buffy interjected, a frown creasing her face. "They're Higher Beings. Shouldn't they just know things? I mean, how could a Higher Being be wrong?"
"Buffy, I'm a Higher Being," Cordelia said with a small smile.
"Oh. How did that happen?"
"It's a long story and not really relevant here. The point is, well, two ensouled vampires running around mucked things up quite a bit, especially since the idea of being granted life through what is spoken of in Shanshu Prophecy came to both of your attention. The PTB were divided on the issue, trying to decide which one of you was the true prophesized vampire Champion, and therefore deserving of some kind of reward. It was close for a while, especially since Angel has had the soul for so much longer.
"But then he slipped. He could tell everyone—even himself—that his intentions when he became CEO of Wolfram and Hart were completely noble, but the Powers That Be knew better. I asked them to let me go to him, to warn him about where his path was leading him, but that turned out to do more harm than good. Instead of taking what I showed him as the warning it was meant to be, he took it as the go-ahead to do something that knocked him out of the running for true Champion status, quite possibly permanently. And well, while you can't really 'sign away' a prophecy if it's truly about you, Angel attempting to do just that was the last little push in Spike's direction that the PTB needed. To turn his back on a possible reward like that, well, it offended them to say the least. So the decision was made, and Spike's back among the living. Only they took a few liberties with that, since they didn't want to lose a fighter. After all, the Shanshu Prophecy just promised life. It never promised full humanity."
Cordelia stopped then, and the first question that came out of Spike's mouth surprised Buffy, particularly in the way she noted genuine concern in his voice. "What's going to happen to Angel now?"
"I'm not sure," Cordelia replied. "The Powers are angry. They've given Angel chance after chance, and he keeps blowing it—this time in a big way. And, well, I've seen many possible paths for him, and several of them are very dark. Even with his soul anchored, Angel's more than capable of slipping. I've seen it more times than I like to think about." Cordelia shivered, remembering all the times she'd seen the darker side of the ensouled version of the vampire with blinding clarity. "He…he wants to do good, but it gets too hard for him, and he just gives up. Takes the easier road, the one without as much struggling. I don't know how well I can keep him in check, but I have to try. The PTB wanted to let him be dust, and seeing where he could go, I wonder if maybe that would be best, but I…I just couldn't. He's Angel, and I…" Cordelia trailed off then, tears springing to her eyes.
Buffy reached over, placing a comforting hand on Cordy's leg. "I know. And I don't think you made the wrong choice fighting for him. You love him. I can see that. I can also see that he feels the same way about you. Angel, he's…he's a difficult man to love, but he won't let you down."
Cordy blinked, surprised to hear that from Buffy of all people. "But I…he let you down."
The smile Buffy gave in response to that managed to be both sad and accepting. "He did. But he never looked at me the way he looks at you." Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, preparing to say what she'd known for a while but had never had the strength to admit quite the way she was about to. "What Angel and I had could never last. We just didn't have that kind of relationship. It didn't grow strong through overcoming obstacles together. It anything, we came out of every trial weaker, not stronger. It was a relationship based on idealizations that could only come crashing down around us. Angel could never…" She glanced back at Spike, giving him a small grin. "Angel could never look at both the best and the worst of me and still tell me I'm the one."
Cordelia observed the subtle interaction of the two blondes in front of her, and realized that not all of what Buffy had just said had been completely meant for her. She smiled inwardly, knowing that they were on their right path together, whether they realized it or not. "Thank you, Buffy," she said, smiling warmly at the Slayer for what could be the first time ever in the eight years she'd known her. "That means a lot, coming from you."
Buffy returned the smile, noting to herself that she didn't feel a hint of jealousy at the idea of Angel being with Cordelia now. It seemed right, in a way that her teenaged, Juliet-wannabe self hadn't been able to see. If anyone could keep Angel in line, it was Cordelia Chase. "I wish you two the best of luck. And hey, now that the soul's locked in place, plenty of happiness, too."
Cordelia chuckled. "Thanks, Buffy." She sat up a little straighter, wiping the tears away from her eyes. "So is there anything else you want to know about the Shanshu Prophecy?"
"Just a guarantee that this is from the Powers That Be and not some cruel trick that's going to make things go all wonky as soon as I get comfortable," Spike said.
"I can promise you that much. The Powers consider the Shanshu Prophecy now fulfilled, and you the ensouled vampire in question. It's up to you to decide what you're going to do now that you've got yourself a beating heart," Cordy answered.
"But they kept me strong," Spike replied. "They obviously want me to keep fighting."
"And you don't? Would have preferred them to return you exactly to your human self, William the Bloody?"
The twinkle in Cordelia's eyes told Spike that she somehow knew exactly where that particular moniker of his came from, and he fought the urge to blush. "Well, um, I suppose you have a point there."
"They kept you a fighter because that's what you are," Cordy explained. "Nowadays, you're fighting the good fight, but that's still a part of you. You wouldn't be able to go into quiet retirement and live a 'normal' life anymore than Buffy here would, despite what she loves to tell herself. You're a Champion because of who you are, not because of a label given to you by the Powers. It's in your blood—no pun intended. Letting you retain your vampiric abilities is just going to make that a little easier for you."
Spike merely nodded his assent, knowing Cordelia was right. Maybe it was the soul trying to atone for the sins that threatened to choke it, or maybe it was something else about him entirely, but he wouldn't be able to turn his back when he knew what was out there, waiting to prey on the innocent.
"So is that all then?" Cordelia asked. "Not to rush you guys out of here, but I have a cranky vampire upstairs that needs some attention…"
"We're fine," Spike said. "Thank you, Cordelia. Go see to Peaches. Sure the old grandsire could use himself a hug right now." He ended his sentence with a smirk, as if trying to convince the two women that he really wasn't in the least bit worried about Angel.
"All right then," Cordelia replied, getting to her feet. Before she walked away, she looked down at Buffy and Spike and spoke again, deciding one more thing needed to be said. "Both of you know what's in your hearts. You need to let go of what used to be, because what can be is beautiful." She smiled at them one more time before ascending the stairs to Angel.
Silence filled the lobby for a long moment as Spike and Buffy looked at each other. Finally, Spike broke the gaze and spoke first. "I suppose we should get back to my apartment, let Giles and Red know what Cordelia said."
"Yeah," Buffy replied, trying to mask her disappointment that that was all Spike had to say. She started to walk off, but Spike went after her, taking hold of her hand and spinning her around to face him.
"We're still talking about what you said out there, Buffy. Now just isn't the time or the place."
Buffy gave the hand linked with hers a gentle squeeze. "I know. And I meant it. We just…need time to sit down and figure out what we want to do. Even with love, nothing's ever simple."
"I know." Spike chuckled, though the sound held little amusement. "Believe me, I know."
They walked out the Hyperion, still hand in hand.
*** *** ***
Giles and Willow were in the living room when Spike and Buffy returned. "Did you find anything regarding the Prophecy?" Giles asked almost as soon as they were through the door.
"The cuts and bruises on Spike don't mean we ran into any serious trouble, and he'll be fine in a day or two, thanks for asking," Buffy replied, giving the Watcher a disapproving look eerily similar to the ones he used to give her.
"Oh. I…I didn't see those," Giles said, beginning to fidget.
"They're not bad," Spike said with a shrug. "Angel just threw a little fit."
Willow's eyes widened. "Angel hit you?"
"Well, yeah. He does that a lot," Spike replied. "I've had enough time to get used to it." He added with a grin, "But the look on his face when he realized I still had my strength was enough to make this little tussle worth it."
Buffy rolled her eyes at that. "You are so pathetic."
"Oh come on, Slayer. You can't tell me that wasn't at least a little bit funny."
"I was a bit too worried about your well-being to be laughing, dear," Buffy said, trying to retain a stern look on her face.
"Since when do you care about that?"
"Hey! I care! I totally care! How many times have I saved that cute ass of yours, mister?"
Spike smirked. "Okay, good point. And it is rather cute, isn't it?"
A slow, almost predatory smile crept across Buffy's lips. "Very."
Willow's cough pulled Buffy and Spike back to the present moment, and they both turned quickly to look at Giles and Willow. "Oh. Right. The Shanshu Prophecy," Spike said, deciding to hold off on any analyzing of how easily he and Buffy slipped into flirty banter. "Angel was too busy playing Jake LaMotta to be too forthcoming with information, but Cordelia was there, and she says the Powers That Be did it."
Giles frowned. "Cordelia? Chase? How would she know? And isn't she…dead?"
"She was," Buffy said. "Guess she can join the 'I was dead and now I'm not' club now, too."
"That's a club? Can I join, too?" Spike teased.
Buffy giggled. "Sure. You can be vice-president."
"And I suppose you're president, little miss bossy?"
Buffy put her hands on her hips. "Well, yeah. I was deadest."
"What? I was dead for one hundred and twenty four years!"
"Yeah, well, I rotted."
Spike's nose wrinkled. "Okay, you win that."
"Can we possibly discuss the subject at hand, please?" Giles asked.
"Sorry," Buffy muttered, noting the annoyance on her Watcher's face. Did he still have a problem with the idea of her and Spike? "Turns out Cordelia's a Higher Being now. She had info direct from the Powers."
Willow snorted. "Well, she always thought she was one. Might as well make it official."
"So then this transformation of Spike's is genuine?" Giles asked.
"Looks like it, Rupes," Spike replied. "I've got myself a life to live now."
"And will this life…be with Buffy?"
Buffy and Spike exchanged a glance at Giles's question. "We haven't talked about that yet," Buffy said after a moment.
"Then just let me say, well, I'm not sure if it means anything anymore, but if the two of you were to decide that that was what you wished to do, well, I…" Giles took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "You would have my blessing."
It took only a second for Buffy to run to him, wrapping her arms around him in a crushing hug. "Buffy…lungs…they need to work."
Buffy pulled back, her arms falling to her sides. "Sorry, Giles. Just…that did mean a lot, hearing you say that."
"I was wrong before, Buffy. What I said—what I did. I wasn't looking at the situation rationally, too blinded by past events that had nothing to do with Spike at all. I betrayed you in one of the worst ways possible, and I don't even know how to being to apologize for that."
"This is a start," Buffy said softly, the tears that were forming making it hard for her to speak.
"I am sorry. For everything I did to hurt you then."
"I know. And things were…difficult then. Everything was so dark, so muddled. But maybe we can move past that now?"
"I'd like to very much." Giles pulled Buffy back into another hug, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from him.
"You know, I'm feeling sorta beat after all that magic and research and stuff, and I bet Giles has wicked jet lag. How about we go find a hotel where we can crash?" Willow said after Giles and Buffy had broken apart again.
"I'm…" Giles stopped as he glanced between Spike and Buffy and realized what Willow was doing. "Right. Jet lag." He forced a yawn. "Horrible, horrible jet lag. We'll leave now and give you a ring later then?"
"All right," Buffy said with a nod. "You guys be careful out there."
"We will be," Willow said, already moving to gather up her and Giles's things.
It wasn't long before the witch and the Watcher had said their good-byes, leaving Spike and Buffy alone in the apartment. They stood in front of each other, a space separating them that neither seemed able to breech.
"So…" Spike said, for once at a loss for words.
"So," Buffy replied, and the silence returned. When the awkward stillness became too much, she blurted out quickly, "Let me do something about your cuts."
Spike frowned. "Do they really look that bad?"
"No!" She grinned then, feeling her heart lighten again. "They're sexy wounds, I swear."
Spike shook his head as he remembered the last time she'd used that phrase. "Are they now?"
"Uh huh. But you're not dead anymore, so they might get infected, and that wouldn't be sexy. That would be all oozy and ick."
"Oh. Well, in that case, by all means, do something about them."
"All right. Go sit down on the couch, and Nurse Buffy will get to work."
Spike leered at that. "Does Nurse Buffy have a tight white dress?"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Pig."
"Your point?"
She lightly slapped his arm. "Go sit. You have anything first aid kit like?"
"Under the sink in the bathroom."
Buffy went then to get it, and Spike went to the couch, sitting down. The events of the day started to hit him, and he didn't know if he should be happy or very, very afraid.
If he didn't know any better, he'd swear he had Buffy's love and the blessing of the closest thing she had to a parent these days…
*** *** ***
Sorry for the delay in chapters. My life hasn't really been conducive to fanfic writing as of late, and I'm doing the best I can with posting. I know you'd like the chapters to be closer together, and I'd love to be able to give you that, but I can't. Please try to be understanding and don't tell me I need to update faster next time. I would if I could, believe me. However, I have no plans to stop writing, and will finish this and all my stories as time permits.
Also, I wanted to point out that this story is the beginning of a sort of post-Chosen/NFA universe I'm in the process of putting together. Some of these stories will be primarily Spuffy, while some will deal with other characters from the series. If you're interested in seeing which fics these are and where to find them, the link to the ones currently in progress is here: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan/post_chosen.html I will be adding more fics as I get them started.
And, as always, please review. It's all we fanfic authors get…
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