Buffy fell into the chair with a loud groan, as she stared at Xander. Could he be any denser? She let out another groan, as he continued to inspect some building plans. “Xander!”
Xander straightened up with shock, sending his pencil flying up in the air. “What?”
“Did you not notice me sitting down?”
“Well, considering how you just scared ten years off my life, no!”
“Please. Like me yelling your name scared you that bad. You have so seen scarier things.”
Xander thought about it for a moment. “You know, you’re right, Buffy. Jonathan as a lounge singer was much more terrifying.”
Buffy laughed. “I don’t know, I think Andrew’s attempt at a funnel cake was worse.”
“I had forgotten all about that! Ah, those were the good times.”
They both immediately sobered up. Buffy smiled at Xander. “You’re right, those were good times.” The two friends shared a comfortable silence. It was good to remember the past. And to remember old friends and loved ones.
“So speaking of good times. . ., how’s Giles’ research going?”
“Nice segue, Buffy.”
“Thanks, I try.”
“Well, Giles is currently in my apartment with some of the books he brought with him and he’s actually using the Internet. But most of the time he’s on the phone with Willow and some council members. So far he hasn’t had much luck. Turns out there was some prophecy about a vampire with a soul, but the only person who knew much about it was Wesley.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. So it looks like the only person who probably knows what happened is Spike himself.”
Buffy smiled at Xander. “Considering the whole amnesia thing, I don’t think he’s going to be telling us any time soon, which is kind of a bummer, but I do have some good news regarding Spike.”
Xander gave her a questioning look. “What did you do now, Buffy?”
“I invited Spike out to dinner. He chose Mexican.”
Xander stared at her in shock. “How did you get him to agree to that? I practically had to twist his arm to go get a beer, and even then, I had to get him drunk to open up to me. All you’ve done is stalk him for a few days and he agrees to a date?”
“I decided to change strategies, and then just walked right up and asked him.”
“And he said yes? Just like that?”
“Yup. Well, after he kind of chewed me out for stalking him. But I just turned on the Buffy Summers charm and he caved. Besides, it’s Spike. He can’t help but fall under my spell.”
“I don’t believe it. You must have done something else. Like punch him in the nose and threaten his life or something.”
“Believe it, Xander. Tonight we’ll go out to eat and he’ll tell me what’s up. If nothing else, I hope he’ll have fun. He looks like he needs it.”
Xander nodded in agreement. “He does look like he’s having a rough time with something, and his work has kind of been suffering. Maybe he’s starting to remember things.”
Buffy stood up and walked over to the window. She peered out from behind the curtains and watched Spike working. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out. Something is definitely going on with him. I really think he needs some help.”
He was so cute. Why had she never noticed this before? Of course she had been very aware of the hotness and sexy vampire factor back in Sunnydale. Even then she never would have classified him as cute. Somehow it had managed to escape her notice. But with the whole curly hair and adorable little boy thing he had going on now, there was no way she could ignore it. Especially when he was sitting right in front of her biting his lip, pouring hot sauce on his food like there was no tomorrow.
“Wow! That’s a lot of hot sauce.”
William looked up from his plate of enchiladas. “What? I like spicy food.”
“I’m just saying that spicy food this late at night adds up to some pretty weird dreams.”
“Been there, done that.” William mumbled under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing. I just said, don’t worry I have a cast iron stomach. Nothing phases me. Thank God.” He caressed the hot sauce bottle. “I don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s brilliant, is what it is.”
Buffy laughed. He was cute and funny. This whole amnesia thing was good, she decided. Well, not exactly good, but not all bad either. She was getting to see Spike without all the pretense and it was really refreshing. Back in Sunnydale everyone had been so mixed up. She was hurting, he was hurting, and that was just with the confusion of their non-relationship. At times she had almost forgotten about how he had to deal with the soul too. She didn’t even want to contemplate how much pain he had been in. One thing you could say about Spike, was that ever since he had gotten his soul he had been really good at putting barriers between the world and himself. Sure, there had been times he had let the mask slip, but mostly he just held it all in. Before the soul she could always read him like an open book. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and it was constant. Spike hurt, Spike happy, Spike lustful, it was constantly apparent. But with the addition of the soul, that had all changed. Instead, she only saw what he wanted her to see. She didn’t know if it had been intentional on his part, or if the soul just acted like a filter. Maybe as a brick wall? Either way, the only emotions that came through had been what he wanted to let out. It was probably her fault. She had hurt him so badly, that of course he didn’t want to show any weakness. Especially after she had told him off for being weak. Stupid General Buffy. Buffy wanted to scream out loud. All the thoughts were jumbled in her head and she didn’t know how to sort them out. Maybe she should just concentrate on the person in front of her, and forget the past. It wasn’t like it mattered. Spike couldn’t remember, so there was no use in freaking out about things that he didn’t even know about.
“You okay?”
Spike’s question startled her out of her thoughts. “Oh...yeah. Sorry. I kind of got lost in my thoughts.”
“Are you sure? You seemed to be thinking about something awfully serious just now.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just zone out occasionally is all. And I’m a little stressed. New places do that to me sometimes.”
He took a bite of his food and nodded in agreement. “I know exactly what you mean. I thought Las Vegas would be all kittens and candy, but in the last few weeks it seems like everything has gone to hell. I can’t remember the last time I was this stressed out.”
Buffy had known that he would eventually start opening up to her, but she didn’t think it would be so soon. She needed to tread lightly, because if she played her cards right he would let her in. “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you so stressed out? Is it the job? Or let me guess, it’s Xander. He’s new at this boss thing, so sometimes he is kind of a spaz.”
Spike started to laugh. But it was a kind of manic laugh, almost forced. “Spaz. . ., that’s a good word for Harris.”
“So about this stress?”
He wasn’t looking at her; she could tell that he was trying to find a way to backtrack. But he finally answered, “Um...it’s no big deal. Just real life stuff.”
“Oh come on. You can tell me, I’m a good listener! Well, in theory anyways.” He gave another forced laugh, though it seemed a little more genuine than the last. Buffy smiled back. When all else fails, make fun of yourself. Works every time. She kept encouraging him in a soothing voice, trying to make him more comfortable. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I’m just saying that if you want to talk about it, it could be a good thing. I know when I bottle things up, and trust me I do it too often, it helps when I finally talk about it.”
Warily glancing up from his plate, he looked like he was seriously debating telling her what was going on. She could see the moment when he made the decision. Spike took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eyes. “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this. I don’t even know you.”
“It’s okay, William. Sometimes it’s easier to tell someone you don’t know.”
“It’s just...you’re going to think I’m completely insane.”
“No I won’t. I’m pretty open-minded. Just let me help you.” Please Spike, let me help you for once. He needed her and she wanted to give that to him.
“Well, I’m sure Xander filled you in on my little amnesia thing, right?”
“Yes, I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, it’s no secret. I’m pretty much used to it. But what I’m about to tell you, please don’t tell Harris, or that Mr. Giles person. I don’t want to lose my job or get carted off by the men in white coats.”
“I promise, William. This is just between you and me.”
He took another bite of his food and glanced surreptitiously around the restaurant. “How about we leave and take a walk?”
Her surprise at the abruptness of his suggestion must’ve shown on her face for he looked back at her and gave her a weird grin. “I just don’t want to do this in front of people.”
“Good, I’m not much of an exhibitionist anyways.”
He laughed out loud at that one. A real laugh this time. “Saucy wench, let’s go.” He stood up and held out his hand. She gladly took it.
William didn’t know why he felt like he could confide in Buffy. It was mystifying to him. He didn’t know her, if anything he should be suspicious of her attention, since she had basically been stalking him all week. But while they had been sitting there eating Mexican, exchanging quips, and just generally having a great time, he had felt drawn to her. Like he could tell her anything and it would be okay. The only other person he had opened up to had been Xander, and that had been forced. But Buffy? It was a different feeling all together. The intensity scared him. He had just met her but already, he wanted to tell her all about his fears and concerns. He wanted to tell her about his dreams and hallucinations. William could almost picture himself with this woman. Holding her, talking to her. Where these thoughts came from he didn’t know. Since the day he woke up in that alley, he hadn’t felt the desire to be close to anyone. The risk wasn’t worth it to him. Sure he had plans on one day getting a girlfriend and getting on with his life, but with the way things were going, that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. He could just imagine having a girlfriend and waking her up in the middle of the night by thrashing around and talking in his sleep. He didn’t think that would go over very well, so he just avoided women altogether. But Buffy made him think twice about that decision. As much as he regretted it, he still wasn’t going to pursue anything with her, because when you were hanging on to sanity by a thread, the stress of a relationship wasn’t exactly the best thing to add into the mix. Being friends with her sounded like an okay plan. Someone to talk to and just have around. Someone who could help him. He smiled. It would be nice to have a real friend.
As they kept walking down the sidewalk, he kept sneaking glances at her. William couldn’t help it. It was like his eyes had a will of their own. Especially when he looked at her hair. He couldn’t stop staring. It was all golden and bouncy and kind of mesmerizing in a disturbing way. Who in real life had shampoo commercial hair? Obviously she did, but it was still odd. He tore his eyes away and focused on the sidewalk. They were almost there. He was leading her to a park that was near his motel. It wasn’t a really good part of town, but he felt comfortable there. In the last few weeks, he had made it a habit to spend a few hours after work in the park. He didn’t like to use the term “communing with nature” because it made him fell like a poncy granola eater, but it helped him calm down a little. To forget for a few moments that he was plagued with dreams of surreal situations. Sitting on his little bench underneath a few palm trees, helped him remember that he was real. That he had a life and that he mattered. William felt that by bringing Buffy to this spot, he would be able to open up to her and tell her what was going on with him. Maybe she would even be able to help him. Maybe she was right, letting her in might be a good thing.
“So where are we going?”
“Just a place. Somewhere I feel comfortable and relaxed. It’s actually over by the park.”
By the time they arrived, the sun had already set, and it was turning into a really nice night. Cool and balmy. A perfect night to just spend outdoors. For Buffy, it was perfect patrolling weather. Even now, three years after Sunnydale, her first instincts were slayer related. Spike led her over to a bench near the edge of the park next to some palm trees. When they sat down, she grabbed his hand and brought it to her lap and gave him an encouraging smile. After taking a few deep breaths he finally looked at her. The look on his face was so open and honest. It was filled with gratitude and longing. Longing for what, she didn’t know. But she was sure she was about to find out.
“So, what is it you wanted to tell me?”
William took another deep breath. There was no point in beating around the bush, so he was just going to dive right in. “I’ve been having these dreams. I’ve always had them ever since I woke up in that alley last year. But ever since I arrived in Las Vegas they’ve gotten worse. You, Xander, his British friend. You’re all in them. I don’t know what they mean and I can’t even sleep.” He stopped talking. Buffy was just staring. Not even at him, but past him. Okay, he had expected her to be a little weirded out, but to just freeze and start staring off into space? His problem was kind of crazy, but not that crazy. “Buffy? Are you okay? Wait...what are you doing?”
Buffy froze. Why now? Why of all times did this damn vampire have to attack now? She knew she should have insisted on going somewhere indoors. She pulled a stake out of her purse and stood up and rushed the vampire. Here she was having a moment with Spike, he was finally opening up to her, and the dreams he was talking about would probably lead her and Giles to a solution. Stupid idiotic vampires. Fortunately for her, it was a fledgling. And a stupid, fat fledgling at that. He was easy to dust. A right hook and a roundhouse and he was on the ground giving her ample time to stake his ass. Brushing the dust off her pants she turned around just in time to see Spike running off in the opposite direction. She spit out another curse at the vampire’s bad timing and then took off running after him.
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