Chapter 42: ‘I Am Out of Here!’
Buffy washed, dried and put away the breakfast dishes from that morning. She was alone in the apartment, had been for a while, Will had gone to buy food and run some errands. Of course she couldn’t have accompanied him, someone might see them together, especially now that Angel was actually looking for her.
‘I hope it’s enough for Angel, to think that Will is out scouring Sunnydale for me. What a moron you are Angel,’ she sighed, tossing the dish towel onto the counter. Dressed only in her thong and one of Will’s black tee-shirts, Buffy wondered into the living room and plopped down on the couch, spying her cell phone on the coffee table.
‘I need to call my Mom,’ she reasoned, a stab of guilt ran through her. ‘Angel knows I’m not there, he might be harrassing the hell out of her!’
Joyce Summers picked up the call on the third ring of her Art Gallery’s phone.
“Buffy,” she answered normally enough, “how are you?”
Apparently, Angel got his information from her Mother in some other way, other then tormenting the hell out of her.
‘Wow,’ Buffy thought in surprise, ‘maybe Angel isn’t a complete evil monster!’
The thought stunned her, but then she could only guess just how or who found out that she was not at Joyce’s.
“I, I’m okay, Mom,” Buffy stammered in response, “well, no, I’m not okay, okay. I’m kind of okay, though.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone line, “Buffy,” Joyce finally said softly, “have you left Angel?”
Buffy gulped and whispered, “yeah, kind of. I’m more, incognito then legally seperated. You know what I mean?”
Her Mother paused for a moment, then Buffy heard a sigh of ‘relief?’ from her, “good. I hope you jump from incognito hiding to legally dumping that fool as soon as possible!”
Buffy couldn’t help it, she giggled, causing her Mother to laugh too, “gee Mom,” she chided, “hate Angel much?”
Joyce stopped laughing long enough to assure her daughter that she didn’t ‘hate’ anyone; but dislike, detest, have complete contempt for? Now, that Joyce Summers could handle in a heartbeat!
“Buffy,” Joyce stopped laughing completely and got very serious, “are you okay? I mean really, honey. Are you someplace safe? Maybe someplace with a certain blonde Brit that we both know and love?”
Buffy took a deep breath, more of a sigh really, “Mom, I’m not going to tell you where I am, specifically that is. It’s best if no one knows where I’m at right now. Angel’s playing the ‘Godfather Corleone’ and I don’t want any of my family or friends to have to lie to him about me or my whereabouts. If you don’t know where I am, then you can’t lie to Angel about it. I’ll call you in a day or so, Mom. Until then, just know I’m safe, happy for once and Angel has no idea how to find me. Okay?”
Joyce assured her daughter that it was certainly okay by her, but before she let Buffy off the phone, she also made her promise that she would take care and ‘be safe.’
As soon as Buffy had clicked off the cell phone and tossed it back on the coffee table, William stepped through the front door.
“Hello, baby,” he greeted affectionately, giving her the once over with appreciation. “Gotta’ say, Princess, my tee-shirt looks a hundred times better on you then it does me!”
Buffy leapt up from the couch and took two of the bags he carried from him, then hurried into the kitchen with her booty (!)
“I’ve missed you!” she cried, even as she quickly put away the various food items he had bought for them. “Oooooh, wine!” she crowed as she turned to blow him a thank you kiss, “and chocolate!”
William began to put away the groceries from the two remaining bags he had brought in. “Hope you’re hungry, baby,” he said as he opened the refrigerator and set a butcher’s wrapped bag of some kind of meat inside, “I’m cooking tonight. Thank God, huh?” he winked at her and Buffy grinned back at him.
“Here,” he turned to face her and show her some kind of mangos or something he’d bought for her, but stopped short when he saw the tears in her eyes.
"What?” he asked worriedly, dropping the rest of bag’s contents on the counter, “what’s wrong, Buffy?”
Spike had noticed the turn of Buffy’s mood the minute he had mentioned his cooking that night.
‘What the bloody hell? I was just teasin’ about the thank God thing. She can cook, why’s she tearing up?’
Buffy stood stock still in the middle of his miniscule kitchen, her little feet were bare and stuck firm on the tiled floor, while her long legs reached up to the hem of his tee-shirt.
‘It really does look better on her,’ he thought warmly. The look on her beautiful face was his undoing; her bottom lip trembled, her emerald green eyes were shiny from moisture and even her tiny hands were clenched by her sides.
When she looked up to meet his concerned gaze, she began to chew on her bottom lip lightly. “I hate him,” she whispered, more like sobbed softly, “I hate that bastard I’m married to, Will. Wish it was you I was married to. I’m sorry, but….”
He rushed over to her, took her in his arms and pulled her flush to his chest, “don’t be sorry, baby. I wish you were married to me too and when this shit’s over, you will be; I promise you that. That is if you want to be?” Buffy held him in a vice like grip, “of course I want to be married to you, silly,” she murmered even as she soaked his own shirt with her hot tears. “It’s you I should have been married to for the last umpteenth years. Don’t you know that I realize that now?”
Spike felt like a complete ponce but he couldn’t help it, he began to cry right along with her.
“Buffy,” he whispered to her, “I love you so much, always have. I just wish we both could have realized this a long time ago and saved all this bullshit heartache and all. You’re my girl,” he told her firmly, his voice husky with emotion, “you always were, always will be. We just got lost from each other for a while, but now, no, from now on, we’ll never be lost from each other again!”
Buffy continued to sob into his shirt and Spike finally just picked her up in his arms, carrying her to the couch. He sat down with her still in his arms, cuddling her close to him.
“I’m such a damn fool,” she mumbled into his chest, “why did I say that stupid name, Angel, back then, just when you and I could have been together? God, I was such an idiot and a coward,” she added with a sniffle.
Spike shook his head firmly, stroking her thong covered little bottom lovingly, “you were not a fool and you are not a coward, Buffy,” he assured her. “You were a young, unsure girl who didn’t know the ways of the world yet. I, on the other hand, was a fucking moron, impatient git that should have been more understanding of you, where you were at then.”
Buffy finally stopped crying and began to giggle lightly, “you think we, you and I, would be married by now? I mean if things had of been different, Will?”
He smiled at her upturned face, a face that Buffy was sure was covered with some leftover makeup from all of her tears.
“I think we’d have been married to each other and parents ten times over, luv,” he chuckled warmly.
“Parents ten times over!” Buffy gasped, wide-eyed, “I don’t think so Mister!” but she giggled again and Will kissed the end of her nose.
“Okay,” he grinned, “maybe not ten rugrats, but at least three or four, right?” Buffy blushed and buried her face in his chest again, fresh tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but these were happy tears and such a welcomed change from the sad ones she’d cried for so long.
The shrill ring of her cell phone broke their intimate moment.
“I have to get this, Will,” she explained, even as she apologized, “it could be my Mom.”
Buffy picked up the phone and clicked the ‘talk’ button reluctantly.
“Hello, Buff,” came Angel’s hated voice from the other end, “miss me?”
Buffy grimmaced and looked over at William, with a roll of her eye she sighed and responded to her husband, “thought I told you ‘I’ would get in touch with you Angel.”
Will flinched, his whole body tensed up and his jaw muscles clenched tightly. She ran her finger down his chiseled cheekbone, then skimmed it across his lips, “shhhh,” she purred to him with a half smile.
“I miss you,” Angel confessed in a small voice, “I want you to come home, Buffy.”
Buffy had to cover her mouth with her free hand to stifle a gasp, or at least a chuckle, “come home?” she asked in disbelief. “What home, Angel?” she continued, “the one ‘you’ raped me in? Our little self made prison? Get real Angel, it’s over. I am definitely through with you and your whole damn family. I don’t want anything from you, just my freedom, all legit on a piece of paper. Signed by a registered Judge of course!”
Angel said nothing for a moment, then he finally whimpered, “can we please meet? Talk, babe? I mean somewhere where you’ll be secure, happy with? How about my office?”
Buffy glanced up at Will who looked sick with concern. “I’ll think about meeting you at your Law firm, Angel,” she conceded, “but only if we discuss our divorce, in your office, with everyone of your staff and half of your partners’ close by. I don’t trust you Angel, I never will again.”
Angel must have thought about this, seriously, because he didn’t say anything for a minute or so but finally relented with a sigh, “okay Buffy. We’ll talk at my office. Tomorrow?” he asked hopefully.
“Maybe,” Buffy answered, feeling in complete control, “I’ll have to get back to you.” Everything inside of Buffy wanted to scream ‘I know you’re having someone track me down like a criminal you psychotic control freak!’
“Until then, Angel,” Buffy began sternly, “don’t call me, I’ll call you!” Then she clicked off the phone and again, tossed it on the coffee table. “Now,” she purred to William, snuggling close into him, “where were we?”
They made love, Buffy and Spike, all the rest of the day and through the night. Only stopping to fix supper and eat, shower, eat and bathe, eat some more (okay, I’ll stop now!), they made love together until they were too damn exhausted to make love anymore that night.
When daylight came, Buffy and Spike were so sexually sated that it was difficult to climb out of bed and shower together, but they managed somehow. Later, Buffy had to admit that she needed to go to the Travers’ house and pick up some of her clothes, at least, if not other personal things.
Spike wanted Buffy to be comfortable in their apartment, but he was worried about her going back into that hell house of Angel’s, no matter for what.
“I’ll go with you,” Spike stated firmly.
Buffy looked at him as if he’d grown two heads, “you can’t!” she cried, “my God, Will, if a neighbor saw us?”
He had to give her that all right. If one of those neighbors, with their silver spoons up their arses, saw him go into her house with her? Angel would come down on Buffy with the wrath of God. Her and her whole family.
“All right,” Spike finally relented, “I’ll wait here, but you call me when you get inside of that fucking prison. When you’re finished getting your necessities, you call me again. Understand, Buffy?” he asked seriously, his eyes betrayed the fear in his heart.
“I understand,” she giggled, “I’ll be fine, Will, honest. Angel is at work, I’m sure and besides, Jenny and Maggie will be home. I’ll be fine.”
She looked so sure of herself that he didn’t have the heart to push his paranoia any more then he had. “Okay, baby,” he relented, “but the minute you walk out of that house, call me. I’ll be close by.”
Angel didn’t call for an entire twenty-four hours and Buffy was grateful. Will and her just played around the apartment, acting silly and making love all day and night.
The next morning, though, Buffy had to convince him, Will, that she just had to go back to the Travers’ house and get some necessary things.
“I mean it, baby,” she laughed, even as she pulled on her two day old jeans, after their shower, I have to get some clean change of clothes. At least I need to get some paperwork, lots of things. I’ll be fine, I promise, don’t worry.”
But Will was worried, she could tell.
“I’m going to follow you over there, Buffy,” he said firmly, “I don’t give a rat’s arse if you like it or not. I’ll park down the street, in the DeSoto. Please just let me do this. I won’t go into the house, I’ll just hang out nearby.”
In the end, Buffy relented and let Will follow her over to the house; what could it hurt?
Spike sat in his old classic DeSoto, just down the street from Angel’s house, he couldn’t bring himself to think of it as Buffy’s also. Buffy had driven her Camaro, once they picked it up from where they’d left it over forty-eight hours ago, to the house.
He was proud of Buffy, Spike was, she’d come so far from the insecure, brainwashed woman he had known just a couple of months before. His Princess, Buffy, had really come into her own, become stronger then even she could have guessed.
‘Hope I had something to do with it,’ he smiled as he fiddled with the stereo in his car, finally settling on ‘the world famous KROQ’ for a station. Some silly, sad song was playing.
‘Bloody stupid angst crap,’ he grumbled, ‘what happened to kick arse punk music? At least it put some ‘fun’ in the ‘dysfunctional!’
‘Run’ by Snow Patrol
‘I’ll sing it one last time to you
Then we really have to go
You’ve been the only thing that’s right
In all I’ve done’
Buffy stepped into the house she’d shared with Angel for six years
“Mrs. Travers,” Jenny greeted warmly, “we’ve missed you. There’s a ton of messages on your answering machine, escpecially from Mr. Travers, he’s been worried sick about you.
“I just bet he has,” Buffy snorted back at Jenny, but with a smile.
‘And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we’ll make it anywhere
Anywhere from here’
Spike got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomache it started way down low, then ran up until it slipped into his throat, making it hard for him to breathe.
“Something isn’t right,” he hissed out loud, debating whether or not to turn the ignition and just pull right up in front of Angel’s little dark castle. His fear for Buffy began to overwhelm him, making him forget his promise to not interfere, not go into that dark place to find her. She had wanted to do this all by herself and he’d promised to let her.
‘Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear’
Buffy hurried up to the master bedroom, she had everything planned out in her mind. The clothes she would grab and toss into her small overnight bag. Then there was the jewelry, the ones her Mother had given her. She wanted those few pieces, they meant something to her, something dear and close to her heart.
As she went through the top dresser drawer, the one that held the old ruby ring that belonged to her Grandmother, Buffy realized she needed to leave something behind. It was time. So, she slipped the wedding rings Angel had given her off of her finger and laid them on top of the dresser, feeling no pain or remorse from her actions.
‘Louder, louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say
‘To think I might not see those eyes
It makes it hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do’
Buffy turned to look around at the bedroom she’d shared with Angel for so many years and realized that she didn’t ‘know’ or ‘recognize’ it at all anymore. If she ever did that is.
‘Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear
‘Louder, louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say’
Spike lit another cigarette, nervously, ‘she should be out of there by now,’ he reasoned. ‘And this is really a fucking depressing song! Sounds like somebody died!’ Suddenly, Spike bolted up from his half slouched stance, ‘Buffy!’ he gasped, terrified.
‘Slower, slower
We don’t have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
‘Have heart my dear
We’re bound to be afraid
Even if it’s just for a few days
Making up for all this mess’
Buffy picked up the overnight bag, checked around one more time and sighed in relief.
“I’m out of here,” she said aloud to no one, just the air and herself, and maybe even Will, who sat in his old car right down the street. “I’m finally free.”
The cordless phone on the end table, the one by her old side of the bed rang shrilly.
A/N: Okay, so I promised, and I tried, honest to make this the second to the last chapter, but…..There will be at least three more chapters, there has to be.
Now, if you know how I write, then you know I like to do cliffhangers and hints/anvils in my stories. The song ‘Run’ by Snow Patrol is a hint. It’s all in how you interpret the song that matters! Thanks for reading, please review. Luv, Spuf
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I am trying to post as many chapters as possible, as soon as I edit them, so I can finish off this story and start my next one.
Thank you for reading and please review.
Luv, Spuf
Thank you for reading and please review.
Luv, Spuf