Author's Chapter Notes:
I was a little taken aback by sara's review. I don't mean to be rude, but telling me that Riley is written out of character here is a little difficult to take seriously. This fic is in large part a parody of all the characters. Spike isn't in character---neither is Buffy. Riley had an addiction to vampire bites and we really don't know how far that all went. So I don't think him being with Harmony is that big a jump.

Secondly, this is a spuffy site. If i had Riley or Harmony partnered and doing the dirty with either Buffy or Spike, then I would be going against the code,and making myself sick in the process. However, a minor pairing was essential to my plot and they were it. I am first and foremost a writer--this is how I managed to write smut for characters other than my faves. I could possibly even write Buffy or Spike with others, but I choose not to because that is just wrong.

Lastly, I am sorry if you feel after 23 chapters that you need to chuck in the fic right at the end. I am in shock that you were okay with the sex while on the phone, Giles catching them out, and sex in front of the baby (which I know has been a sore point for some) but now balk at the Rarmony. I shake my head in confusion, but if you must go, I will be sorry to lose you.

Really lastly, this is the second last chapter (i'm pretty sure!!) and I hope to write the next one tomorrow. I hope those that have stuck with me this far will love the chapter and the conclusion coming up. Please review.
Chapter Twenty-Four

Riley couldn’t deny that he looked a little pale. Not that he was complaining. The buzz he got while he was deep inside his new girlfriend and she was deep inside of him—well, it was indescribable. He’d thought he’d tame her—and he had to a degree. But the real slave in this relationship was him. He couldn’t deny he’d do anything and everything to feel the frantic fear and high from having his blood drained from his exhausted veins.

So it was that as vacuous as Harmony may be, her lack of attempts to drain him completely dry had him settling into an unpredictable trust of her. He thought he was falling hard, though even he failed to argue that the substance behind the emotion was purely based on the fix he got from her bite. Still, if he had strong feelings for her, no matter what their basis was, the fact that she was by his side, in his bed, must mean she was falling for him too. He knew she was a vampire, but she experienced other emotions—hate, anger, joy at anything he bought her in pink, her unicorn hobby. Surely she was capable of love as well. There was that whole thing where he still possessed his heartbeat. It had to count for something.

They’d talked, sure they had. In between the amazing bouts of sex. He still marvelled at her stamina—was left wondering if it was a vamp thing or if it was just because it was her. But most of the topics they fell into were superficial—if he liked where they put the new boutique in the mall, had he seen the pink dress in the window, was he sure she couldn’t eat the sales assistant. Nothing he’d need to challenge his morality about—not really. Not when a simple ‘no’ held her fangs away from the public.

But each time she kissed him, each time she sucked him off, each time she bit him, he fell a little deeper. The thought of losing her now was too much to bear. So when her pain hit his ears, her sobbing admission that the worst thing about being undead was that she could never have a baby of her own, he just about melted. It was so romantic—and sick if he took more than a minute to contemplate it.

“It’s so wrong, you know,” she told him, her voice all wobbly and wet. “I mean, it’s not like I didn’t give Spike the best bunch of months of my life. Yet he gets all the happy. He gets Buffy, and a baby as well. I want that baby. It should be mine. I want to be a mommy. You can help me, can’t you Rileykins?” Her voice was all crumbly with grief and Riley fell for it hook, line and very heavy cement slab.

He felt flushed that she was calling him pet names, could feel the link that was tying them together tighten and hold them fast. She wanted a family—with him. He was gratified, and not a little scared. But he had to do it or she’d take her teeth away. He could be a daddy, and it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be saving an infant from an evil vampire. And what kind of freak was called Spike anyway?

But Buffy. So this was the big love and the reason she’d been MIA for a week. She was holed up with some evil animal playing families. Or at least he assumed she was playing at being a mom. Though with the addition of the evil vampire Spike as her love interest, he hardly thought it was possible. While Buffy had without doubt appeared to be peculiar, she was also sweet and pretty and an obviously misleading individual. There was no excuse other than that she must be evi,l and he wouldn’t be doing his duty if he didn’t do everything he could to save an innocent child from what horrors the two of them might be inflicting.

No, he hadn’t reported Harm to his boss, but he was fulfilling his duty by keeping her on a pig diet. Now he could protect the citizens of Sunnydale by saving this baby from the clutches of two seriously deranged individuals. It didn’t even occur to him to wonder where they may have gotten the baby from in the first place, only that by the end of the night, the bundle would be laying in Harm’s arms, with him standing dutifully by her side.

Decision made, he turned to the naked wet dream before him and stroked a roughened palm over her dusky nipple, feeling almost light-headed at her little moan. His finger continued a determined path down her body, sliding seductively over her cool lines until he encountered her slipperiness.

“You want a baby, Baby?” He grinned as she purred and propped her leg on his for a little better access.

“There’s nothing I want more in the world, smoochikins. Can I have one? Please?” She pouted and batted her heavily mascaraed lashes as a small drop of a tear slid down her cheek.

His fingers were submerged, thick with her juice as he moved over her to take his own ride. Sure, he’d get her the baby, and his reward would be pussy on tap and a family. So what if he could never show them off in the day.

“What ever you want. Your Rileykins will get you anything you want.” And in a massive example of presumption, he shoved his cock in deep till she was whimpering in mingled pain and pleasure.

His life was about to get perfect.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“Honey, can you pass the toiletries?”

Spike aimed a dirty look at the Slayer and passed her a number of jars, canisters and tubes—which she shoved thoughtlessly into a bag—before showing his ire by flopping backwards on the bed. He knew the Watcher wanted his digs back, could even understand the bloke’s need to touch base back in his own home after such an emotionally exhausting and fruitless trip. Didn’t mean he had to like the time it dug into his own more pleasurable pursuits. He was starting to feel a little underappreciated and while Buffy had been working him over something fierce, he was in the mood again and it didn’t do his temper any good to have to forgo nooky by being on exclusive babysitting duty.

Not that he didn’t love his daughter. Or wasn’t totally devoted to her—as he should be. It was just, well, he was a master vampire. He could bloody multitask if the situation required. They’d been doing that all week. It was going to be tough getting used to Buffy not being at his beck and call each time an itch began to need a scratch.

“You sure you’ll be okay alone here with Lia? You know, without me?” The saucy bint had the nerve to grin, knowing she was pushing his amorous buttons by being feisty.

Spike straightened from the bed, looking her curves over and leering as he stalked closer. “You want me to tell you I can’t? Because we both know I do the nanny thing much better than you, pet.” He bit his lip and tilted his head to watch her and wasn’t disappointed when her lip jutted out in a famous Buffy pout.

“Do not,” she answered petulantly, and when he had the bad taste to laugh, she kicked him in his shin.

“Want me to prove it?” he teased and chuckled again when Buffy whimpered in sudden worry.

“No way. I have to take these things over to my mom’s or we won’t have anywhere to sleep tonight.” She took a backward step to the door, eyes warily watching Spike for any subtly broadcasted moves.

“Oh, I don’t think we’ll be doing much of that, luv. Got my mind fixated on one thing and it’s not the image of you in your Yummy Sushi PJs.”

Buffy stood still, her eyes glazing over at the lustful promise before she took mental charge and shook the heat from her skin.

“You stop that!” she begged, taking another step closer to the door and freedom from horny vampires.

Spike slumped, defeated. “Right then. Best be off. Sooner you get cracking, the sooner I can—“ He jumped her, tackling her to the floor and bestowing haphazard kisses all over her neck and delving below the neckline of her top.

“Stop,” Buffy squealed, her body shivering in delighted tickles as Spike licked and treated her to his lips. It was too blissful and wholly addictive as the mission of the day began to leak from her mind.

The phone rang and Buffy shot to her feet, looking around guiltily. They kept getting caught and it was starting to give her a complex.

“You get that, ‘kay? If it’s my mom, tell her I’ve already left.” And she was gone, a physically frustrated slayer off to move her family in the crispy-making daylight.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Riley had been studying the house for an hour now, listening all the while to a baby gurgling, crying, laughing, and then sleeping. He knew because the vampire went out in the shade to puff on a cigarette and thankfully, spoke to himself. Riley didn’t stop to consider how bizarre that concept was—an insane vampire. He could only guess at how dangerous they were.

He felt a little nervous now that he was about to go through with the plan. Buffy really hadn’t given him any reason to think she was evil—that she would let any harm come to an innocent baby. Maybe she didn’t have to, though. Maybe the fact that she’d tied herself to a notoriously dangerous vampire—and now that he saw him in the flesh he knew exactly who he was—was proof enough that she was bad. At the very least, unhinged.

With a confident step, taser in his hand and held partially behind his leg, Riley approached the smoking vampire. He hadn’t worked out an in depth plan, and was more than a little glad that he wasn’t going to come across Buffy during this mission. If all went well, the vamp shouldn’t recognise him and he wouldn’t be caught by the bonafide humans in the group—but he was carefully optimistic of impending success now the baby was asleep and the defenceless vampire was exposed near to sunlight.

He flinched as amber eyes alternated with frozen blue, finding his feet less cooperative than he would like as he came to an almost stumbling stop two feet away. Still in a patch of pure sunlight. The two just stood unmoving, staring and sizing each other up. The standoff was broken with an indelicate sniff and then the vampire was laughing heartily, his cigarette falling unnoticed to the ground as he buckled over with mirth.

“Oh, oh that’s rich. And how is good ole Harm these days?”

Riley fell back, stunned that his new girlfriend wasn’t so much of a secret as he would have liked. He had a new mission now. Get the baby, and then report Hostile 17’s whereabouts to his team. Unless he doubled back and dusted him first.

“She…she’s… none of your business, that’s what.” Riley’s lips thinned and he tightened his grip on his taser, eager to just get this moving before the baby woke up and he had an audience he wouldn’t want to have to explain things to.

“So you've discovered the only two things Harm is good for, yeah? And I’m not getting at those two messy pinpricks on your neck. Harm always was a bit sloppy with her food. I was talking about her lollypop taste in bed linens being enough to make a poor bastard question his orientation. That and blow jobs. She’s a real pro at that one. Buffy tells me she got a lot of practise with being a cheerleader.”

“Shut up. What would you know anyway? You’re nothing like her.” Riley stood centred in his rage, anger that his belief in the good that could be Harmony was being challenged. Not to mention this evil filth just called his girl a whore.

Spike ignored the tantrum, casually stomping on the lingering light of his cigarette butt and tucking his hands in his jeans pockets.

"Word to the wise, mate. Stay away from the bleeding unicorns. What the bint will ask you to do with those things will do your head in."

Riley blinked, already having a faint clue what that warning was about. He then decided it was time and zapped the vampire with his hidden taser, taking him unawares by standing there looking too stupid to move.

Spike hit the cement with a gurgle of agony, his eyes rolling back in his head and his throat muscles seized right before he lost consciousness. Riley trusted enough in the taser’s abilities that he turned his back without caution and made his way into the apartment. Minutes later he left with the sleeping Lia in his arms and a baby bag stacked with essential equipment over his shoulder.

He paused at the supine form of Hostile 17, grinned at the approaching sun as it melted the shadows away, and walked on.

Maybe nature would take care of the abomination before he even got back.





You must login (register) to review.