Quick glossary : Pram = stroller, Nappy = diaper, apparently a cot = baby bed, nappy wipes = plain old wipes, or baby wipes...man, who thought writing a fic about babies would get so confusing?

Anyway, enjoy and review!!! I'll love you if you do!!

“Well, that’s not bloody right, Watcher. You need to go track the bint down.” The outrage in Spike’s voice was moving, and Buffy found herself staring at him with a fresh set of interpretations. And a tinge of respect.

“What?”

Spike squirmed in his seat as he became the object of attention, and he suddenly felt embarrassed for his outburst.

“It’s…well, I never suspected you could be so protective,” spluttered Giles in a moment of insight.

“Little tikes need their mums. Not right for this bird to just dump her on you and take off. You need to get her back and get things sorted.”

Buffy’s expression was now filled with open amazement, and while Giles turned his head to smile fondly at his newest family member, she scooted closer to Spike on the sofa. Spike immediately looked at her as if she’d gone loco—but didn’t move away. Buffy could see a little smile tilt the corner of his mouth as he looked down at the floor.

“Well, I suspect she may have returned to England, but I can’t go traipsing all over the countryside looking for her while dragging along a baby.” Giles screwed his face up with concentration while he thought through his options.

His silence stretched into minutes and Spike finally caught on to Buffy’s longing looks at the baby, and decided to give her a reality check.

“Here you go, little Lia…you hop on over to your Aunt Buffy.”

Buffy jumped, then held her arms out eagerly for the gurgling baby. Her hold was awkward at first, but then she became mesmerised by the baby’s eyes and started to coo at her, talking baby gibberish.

Spike watched and felt something so fundamentally deep that it felt like a throb throughout his body. He couldn’t help but wonder what in the bleeding hell he was doing being all domestic with the Watcher and Slayer, but as he watched Buffy play cutesy games with the bub, he couldn’t prevent the tingle in the back of his neck.

“I can’t help but agree with you, Spike.”

Spike was suddenly on alert, knowing that the world was completely whacked out of balance. Two days ago these people had him chained to the bloody bathtub, controlling him through rigid feeding times like he was a zoo animal kept under observation for research purposes. Now they were chatting to him like an old wise uncle, taking his advice and even commending him on it. If he didn’t feel the heat of attraction circulating through his body and zeroing in toward his groin, he’d think they were completely off their rocker, or that they’d dusted him and his ghost hadn’t worked it all out yet.

“Of course you can’t,” was his automatically cocky reply. Then he tilted his head to the side and the wonder took over. “Wait. What are you agreeing with, exactly?”

Buffy’s curiosity got the better of her and she stopped playing with darling little Ophelia and glanced up to watch her Watcher and vampire. She blanched a little at Giles’s new enthusiasm, apprehension swirling inside her gut. She had the very real compulsion to fling the baby away and run for her life.

“Yes. I must take your advice and go and find her. Sort out whatever it is that is going on and see if I can’t make sense of the situation.”

Spike was nodding, feeling all manly about the Watcher agreeing with him, when his eyes shot wide open, drowning in confusion and an escalating fear. One quick look to the side saw Buffy getting red as she started to connect the dots as well.

“One little problem there, Rupes. You said you couldn’t take Junior here while you did the search and rescue. What are you plannin’ to do with the bit?”

He could have kicked himself as soon as the Watcher opened his mouth, knowing he was in for a world of trouble. Buffy had no reservations though. She did kick him. Got to her cute little shoed feet and kicked him hard.

“Spike,” she hissed, and he could sense her heart pounding. But as Giles began to talk, she slumped back in the chair with a sadly defeated whimper.

“Quite right. It just wouldn’t do to take the little one through what could potentially be an unknown situation. I would get nothing achieved if I had to care for a baby as well.” He stopped and stunned them with his infectious beam. “So, I’ve thought of the perfect solution.”

Buffy started to shake and darted quick looks to the door as they waited out his pause.

Spike let his eyes sweep back and forth between the three focus points: Watcher, Slayer and door. It was dark now, so no worries for the flame act. But he had a feeling that Buffy wouldn’t be so distracted and let him make an escape this time. He had a gut feeling she would tackle him before he got half to the door and drag him back to hear his death sentence, offered up with a smile.

Buffy decided to brave it out.

“What…ah what…is your solution?” She risked the question; her voice was husky with building concern for the all important, possibly life-altering answer.

“Well, it’s simple really. Quite the perfect solution.” He stopped while he thought out the details, picturing his best course of action while Buffy looked imploringly at Spike.

They both were frantic for escape, and as they were about to charge to their feet, Giles caught them again with his plan, and they rewarded him with classic ‘deer in headlight’ stares.

“Spike is rather skilled in sensing what a baby needs, how to care for them—which in itself is more disturbing than I wish to face at this juncture. And Buffy, I am sure with your love of fashion and footwear that you would be delighted to earn some extra cash. So I propose,” and both Buffy and Spike cringed, “that Buffy, you move in and mind Spike, while he minds the baby.” Giles grinned, completely comfortable with his suggestion despite the fact that Buffy—as speechless as she was—was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Have you gone completely burko? What the bloody hell kind of watcher are you to leave a vampire babysitting your offspring?”

Giles didn’t even blink.

“The kind that is thoroughly convinced that your chip makes you as dangerous as a…a…fluffy, white bunny. And the kind who knows that his options of caring, available, child friendly adults is rather limited. I might have asked Joyce, except well, she works, but if I understand from Buffy, she isn’t even in Sunnydale right now. That leaves me with you to.”

Buffy offered a cringe in sympathy of the putdown, but then her eyes bugged as the implications of Giles’s suggestion crowded in on her. He wanted her to sit the sitter, be nanny to the nanny. That kind of meant she would have to be around Spike. A lot!

“Um, Giles? You know I’ve got school, right? I can’t exactly take little Ophelia…” she looked at Spike and remembered, “ little Lia here, to class.”

“And how many hours would that take you away again? Three? Maybe four some days?”

Buffy huffed.

“And the studying! There’s studying time, too!”

She was completely appalled when both Giles and Spike snorted their amusement.

“Fine,” she spat at the pair as she took to her seat again.

“Buffy, I will expect you to move in here for the duration of my absence. I can accept Spike being left alone with…er…Lia… but not for more than those hours for the day.”

Giles seemed beside himself with good humour as he grinned at the pair sitting unhappily on the sofa.

“Right, I’ll go and pack and organise the plane tickets.”

He jumped to his feet and bestowed an uncomfortable pat to his daughter’s head, and took off for the phone.

“Oi! What about all the stuff for the mite? Cot, pram, nappies, clothes? I don’t know how to do all of it, you ponce!” Too late Spike thought of the arguments to get out of this surreal situation.

Giles ducked his head around the corner from his kitchenette.

“Oh, I will leave you some cash and you and Buffy can go and buy whatever it is you think you’ll need.”

Oh, that does it, thought Spike in rising panic.

“You can’t bloody expect me to go nipper shopping with the Slayer. That’s even poor form for you, Watcher.”

Buffy giggled, hysteria beginning to get the better of her.

“YOU!” she pointed as she screeched with laughter. “The Big Bad pushing a stroller and feeding a baby… with bottles!”

Spike stood, very gently positioned Lia in her carrier chair before shooting the Slayer a furious look filled with hatred, and left.

He got all the way into the bathroom and stared at the glaring white of the tub before climbing in and switching on his telly.

“Bitch is gonna get it good. Nanny Spike might get stuck pushing the bloody pram, but she’s gonna cop the upchuck when junior has her bottle.”

Spike reclined as best he could against the cold enamel, and smiled in satisfaction at his inner image of Buffy covered in baby puke. Oh yeah, that was going to be his one really good day.


A/N...wow, thank you everyone for the support. Thanks and hugs go to : Allison, AmyBnNYC, melissa, Alwyasjbj, starshine, zanthine, HollyDB, Bloodshedbaby, songgal, Tam, seraiza, Cordykitten and redwulf50.





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