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Just a quick note to address whether Buffy's first time with Spike was crude. Ordinarily I would say--if it was ehr first time then yeah. But many affairs start out from hot sex, or you wouldn't do it in the first place. She hasn't embarked on a relationship with him...yet! So, hot is what got her motor running...so I don't agree its crude. I am sorry if that scene was offensive to some. But it is rated NC-17 for a reason. And ultimately, this IS Buffy and Spike.


Chapter Nine

What on earth was wrong with her? Buffy stood once again in the shower, hot pulsing water washing essence of Spike from her body. The memory of what he’d done, what he’d sprayed all over her; it set a fire in her belly that just kept building and causing the rational part of her brain—the part that was saying she should grab stake, dust now, think later—to completely and uselessly shut down. She was a Slayer of sensation now; a girl balanced on the precipice of change, of growth that might just connect on too many levels with a dangerous vampire.

It scared the living crap out of her.

That she really, really enjoyed what they had done—that she rejoiced in every new, softer layer of Spike that was uncovered—was really beside any kind of point she could think of.

Okay, deep breaths. Who needed points anyway? Then her mind wandered to lovely hard points that did so well at pointing out certain spots that it made her garble incoherently a language completely foreign to her. Alrighty then. Spike had a nice point, of the rounded fleshy kind. And it brought up many, interesting…points. But no way could she let this go any further. Her own best-friend could have just walked in on her while Spike sprayed her with his load and she lay there like a ho and licked her lips clean.

Buffy whimpered at her riot of thoughts as she attempted to scrub herself clean, but then her hand slowed and she thought again of him rubbing his cool fingers in the slimy mess and how it had warmed every cell in her body.

Deep breaths just weren’t cutting it. The bathroom suddenly held too many memories. Her first time with Spike. Sex with Spike. Her third time ever in the intimate realm of sex, and despite the venue—which even she couldn’t deny was way hot—it was by far the moment that blew the lid off her preconceptions of sex. Spike blew the lid off everything. And what was she thinking again? Oh yeah, she was thinking with that thing that was reacting to the cool slide of him between her legs.

Gahhhh. Stop. Thinking. Now!

Right, what had he sent her in here for? Other than to hide from the all-seeing, all-knowing eyes of her witchy friend? Shopping. The thought brought a wide and almost painfully excited smile to her lips.

SHOPPING!! Oh God, this was gonna be such a blast. Someone else’s money, to splash out and really spoil a girl. So, that girl was a baby on this occasion. Buffy could work with that. She could see pretty pink sleepsuits and funky coloured socks already. And those adorable curls. Did they have baby hair accessories?

The enthusiasm of this venture swept her mind clear of the other more confusing thoughts and she rushed through her shower, drying and tucking the towel around her body once again. She’d left Spike’s T-shirt out in the living room—not that Willow should really see her in such a thing. Buffy blushed already just imagining the questions and raised eyebrows.

It left her resorting to squeezing her head through a small gap of the opened door and trying to get the attention of her friend, indicating a need for her bag of clothes while determinedly ignoring the leering vampire that had her heart thumping wildly. She didn’t even need to lay eyes on him to know he was trying to see her through the narrow slit of the door. Evil peeping vamp!

Oh God! Buffy thought, relief relaxing all her limbs as she snagged her pack from Willow and dived into it to find something to wear. The horrible colour clashes and completely mismatched items of clothing caused Buffy to cringe—finally accepting how negligent she had been as a friend in not trying to take Willow’s quirky style a little more in hand.

A tight orange spandex top fell out first, and Buffy nearly collapsed when she managed to find some close fitting black pants that would go okay. Not how she usually wore either of these two things, but beggers so weren’t choosers right now. This definitely wouldn’t be too bad, she decided with a nod. She was dressed, hair brushed and make-up applied within the next twenty minutes.

Just as she packed away her left over belongings there was a harsh thump on the bathroom door.

“Bleeding hell, Slayer. We’re only going to the bloody mall, not the Ritz for dinner. Put a bit of leg into it and get your lovely arse out here, pet. Mall won’t wait forever.”

Just the throwaway reference to that part of her body—which had had its fair share of Spike attention—made her flush right down to her gaping cleavage. Buffy frowned. Not really the best kind of top to wear when out shopping for baby things. Oh well. Thanks Willow!

The redhead had her arms full of baby when Buffy rushed from the bathroom, steam and faint fruity smells drifting out behind her. Spike hovered at Willow’s elbow, attempting to act all cool and evil, but Buffy felt stunned by the look of protective concern for the little girl that clouded the clear blue. His eyes were trained on Willow like a hawk, ready to spring to action should he not approve of any of the witch’s moves. Buffy didn’t know whether to smile affectionately or gulp in horror.

Who the heck was this evil murdering vampire that was gushing over a tiny baby girl in Giles’s living room? This situation, this vampire—and okay, mucho with the hot steamy sex—had her way beyond wigged. Shaking her head and leaving the oddness to sort out much later when she wasn’t still hazy from the sexfest that kept her body singing said vamps praises, Buffy turned to collect the collection of bills and credit cards that Giles had left for this trip. The clear empty table didn’t compute with her for a moment, her inner eye replaying an hour ago as she sunk onto big powerful and hard Spike.

Spike pinned her with a knowing glance when her heartbeat accelerated, smirking and eyeing her top lewdly. If Buffy didn’t feel the tight hold of the fabric keeping her in her top, she might have been convinced that Spike saw a lot more than was possible. One reassuring look found hard pebbly outlines where her nipples were and she couldn’t prevent the groan of embarrassment as she quickly covered her breasts with crossed arms.

“So, looks like Spike has money,” Buffy proclaimed with a steely look at the not even slightly guilty looking Spike. “Let’s go then.” Buffy grabbed the coat that Willow had brought to match her hastily chosen clothing and cringed at the pale green. She was so stopping at her dorm before they brought the baby home again from their shopping trip.

Home. The thought made her flush return as she thought of the things that home entailed for her right now. Home was a bed in Giles’s apartment. An apartment that only had one bedroom, one bed and knowing evil nasty Spike, he wouldn’t be giving it up so Buffy could get a decent sleep. Which added to the images of sharing that she was trying desperately to keep out of her head. She swallowed, hard, as naked Spike images persisted, limbs entwined with her own as they moved together.

Damn, this top felt tight. Right in front of her, right in front of softly cooing Willow, Buffy’s eyes fell to Spike’s crotch and she felt both horrifyingly fascinated and fevered that he seemed to be growing.

Buffy flapped her lips, desperate for some kind of noise to get her back to thinking with something other than hormones. Spike beat her to the punch.

“Can’t do that yet, luv.”

The sexy promise of his voice completely robbed her of her usual cool and she started to fidget nervously, her mind flashing rapidly over her morning activities that she suddenly wished hadn't been interrupted by Willow’s arrival.

“Wh-why not?” she stammered, wondering if she was going dumb. Could sex with Spike make her lose braincells? ‘Cause she so wasn’t thinking. Not if she was getting hot again just because he used all those stupid pet names. Pet names that were driving her wild.

“Haven’t got the baby bag together. Need to take some nappies and things. Bottle incase she gets hungry. Not sure yet what her feed times are.”

Buffy watched him and completely flew to the next wiggy level of wigged.

“Huh? And again I say wha? And who are you again? And what the freak is a napp-whatsa-hoovy? Feed times? Like in the zoo? And when did going to the Mall get so hard?” Buffy felt herself approaching a tearful breakdown. For the first time since Giles dived out the door, leaving his pile of lovely guiltfree-in-the-spendage money and a sexy vampire she suddenly couldn’t keep her hands off, Buffy felt close to hyperventilating. She’d suffered, dammit. That baby had puked smelly milk all over her clothes, leaving her to resort to Willow’s wild and whackily uncoordinated dress sense. This burden was proving completely out of her league.

“I don’t think I can do this,” she pushed through wobbly lips, and then the sobs began and in front of a stunned Spike and Willow she ran for the bathroom.

Spike eyed Willow to ensure she was still holding the baby correctly and instructed her to stay put and guard the littlun with her life if she knew what was good for her, and he headed into the uncertain Slayerhaven to find out what the hell was wrong now.

He found her sitting on the toilet lid, her face in her hands as she cried quietly and her body shook.

“What’s wrong?” His voice wasn’t exactly cold, but neither was it infused with much sympathy or interest. He felt exasperated, not sure why she had collapsed in this weird emotional slump when they had things to get done.

“As if I’m gonna tell you,” she mumbled miserably, her head rising to hit him with the impact of a Slayer all red and snuffly, face saturated with tears. There was no sign of her usual Slayer fire and insult.

He groaned and crouched down in front of her, tugging her hands down and holding them firmly as he looked into her shimmering green eyes.

“Please tell me, pet. Can’t put things right unless you do.”

She looked at him like he had horns sprouting out the top of his head.

“That,” she said and he scrunched up his face in confusion. “Right there. Who the hell are you? Because I did not just have sex…twice…with my number one mortal enemy. He with all the baby info and knowledge. And having a baby is so much responsibility. I’m only nineteen. I’m too young to play mommie.”

Spike grinned and hauled her off the loo, thrusting gently against her as she settled into a rather good feeling straddle.

“Stopped being mortal enemies when I came to you for help, I reckon. And moreover, I think we should wait to discuss what happened earlier when little Scooby ears aren’t so much present. You pick up stuff about things when you’ve lived as long as me, and contrary to what you might think, I didn’t kill every woman I came into contact with.” That revelation seemed to embarrass him and Buffy looked intrigued as he dropped his head, avoiding her eyes. But then she felt her body heat as he seemed hooked on her breasts, the revealed slope of them so very close to his mouth.

Buffy jumped when he laid his lips against her warm skin, sweeping them gently over the swell before moving up to place gentle caressing ones on her neck. He reached her chin and then nipped at her lips.

“An’ yeah, it’s a big responsibility, ‘specially for a girl like you.”

Her eyes bugged at the automatically assumed insult, and he chuckled at her. She was so predictable it was hardly fun.

“I meant that you’ve already got the world on your shoulders. Don’ need to be mum on top of that. ‘Cept the Powers have seen fit to bring you this. An’ me. I’m here too.”

His voice had lowered to almost a sensual rumble and Buffy forgot her panic and wondered how it would have been if this was real and Lia did belong to her and Spike. Sadness consumed her when she had to be strong with herself, reminding herself that the current situation was because Ophelia was Giles’s. A niece, or sister maybe to Buffy, but not her daughter. It felt wrong.

Buffy couldn’t help but feel like his lips on hers were right, that he was comforting her about something that was theirs, that he was sharing something personal. It felt too good to kiss him, feel his tongue roll against hers and push at her teeth, nibble her lips and hold her close. Her tears wouldn’t stop flowing as she dealt with this need. She held him tightly against her body, crushing herself against him as she took some more of his yummy taste, the kiss becoming more passionate.

They were stopped by a cry from the living room, Willow’s attempts to placate becoming more distraught.

“Time to go be heroes, goldilocks.”

Buffy blushed at the new name, feeling more than confused and yet happy that he was branching out on her.

One more quick kiss and she released him, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

This sitch was way with the weird, yet Buffy followed him, smiling past the blur in her eyes. She could handle responsibility. She ate responsibility for breakfast. She ownedresponsibility.

And Lia was hers!

A/N, thanks mucho go to:
Tam, bloodshedbaby, Seraiza, Cordykitten, Francesca, Bynee, Allison, Kimber, Bridget, aerialla, Anja, BuffyandSpikeForever, Rana, Crystal Pegasus, dreamgirl4eva, Esther and Mariana. I really appreciate your continued support.





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