Chapter 3 - Retribution

“But what if he’s injured? What if he’s going to do something stupid? You know how he was when Buffy died,” Dawn pleaded. “Sunrise is only two hours away. Someone *needs* to go find him!” Dawn begged. She was more than frustrated. Spike had been gone most of the night.

“She’s right,” Willow reluctantly agreed. “We need him. One of us should go find him. Sunrise will be soon and I’m more than a little worried considering the state of mind he was in when he left.”

“I’m glad someone has finally come to their senses,” Dawn said, rolling her eyes as she walked toward the door.

“I’ll go,” Xander offered. Everyone turned to stare at him.

“I’m not going to hurt him, if that’s what you’re all worried about. Look, I’ll find him and bring him back. He’s probably just off at Willie’s. Besides, we need Willow here in case the Ray Charles groupies decide to try and recollect their hostage,” Xander explained.

Dawn gave him an appreciative smile. “Thanks, Xander.”

“No problem, Dawnster. Willow can just put up that barrier thing after I leave, and leave me a door or something to drag his undead butt through when I get back.” Xander smiled.

**********

Xander stopped by Willie’s and the other demon bar in town, but hadn’t yet caught up with Spike. Not that Spike was making it difficult to be found. Xander learned that Spike dragged one demon out of one bar, and two vamps out of the other. All apparently meeting their ultimate ends, thanks to Spike. Every lead Xander followed led him to a dead demon or another pile of dust. Xander thought of the demon carcasses he’d seen tonight and shuddered. He was starting to almost feel sorry for whatever Spike was hunting at the moment.

As Xander turned the corner to cut through an alleyway towards Spike’s crypt, he ran right into the sight of Spike. He was fighting a very ugly green demon, who would tower over Spike if he’d been able to stand upright. With a snarl, Spike suddenly seized the battered demon by the head, ripping it off its body. No twisting or anything like that, just ripped the head away and watched the body collapse to the ground. Spike took a step and hurled the head like a football, sending it flying.

As Xander watched, Spike collapsed to his knees. A single name escaped his throat in a rough, heart-wrenching wail. Xander watched, as for the second time to his knowledge...Spike wept. The sight nearly broke his heart. Xander hated Spike for much of his existence, but he couldn’t deny at the moment just how much Buffy meant to him. He’d loved her. He’d mourned for her. The vampire had searched out a soul to make himself better for Buffy. She had believed in him, when none of them would. Now Spike was mourning her again.

Xander slowly walked up next to the vampire. “She’s not dead, you know.”

Spike jumped to his feet and turned swiftly to face Xander.

“Whoa, easy there fella. I come in peace!” Xander said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I’d rather not go in pieces.” Spike quickly brought a hand up and wiped it across his damp face. Xander smiled at the attempt to maintain his tough guy appearance. “The others were worried. You’re cutting it awfully close to morning with your little stroll through Sunnydale.”

“Leave me alone. Just...just sod off,” Spike quietly responded.

“Can’t do that,” Xander replied, drawing a confused expression from Spike. “Walk with me Spike. Just hear me out, and then you can decide if you really want to work on your tan,” He said, turning to walk towards Buffy’s house.

“See, back at the house, there are a bunch of young girls who still need your help, including Buffy. I don’t see the rest of us doing a very good job of training those potentials,” Xander said as they walked.

“Thought that was what the watcher was for. Did a bang up job with....Buffy.” Spike’s retort finished with a whisper.

“Yeah, but he only had Buffy then. It’s a little different when you’ve got a dozen or so teenage girls to train. Then there’s Dawn. She’d be crushed if you didn’t come back. I don’t think Buffy would be real happy if we just let you try your homage to ‘Earth, Wind and Fire’ either.” Xander pointed out. They walked the rest of the way in silence until they reached the back porch of Buffy’s house and Xander shouted out Willow’s name. Suddenly the magical barrier opened and Xander and Spike strode through up onto the porch, where Spike froze.

“I don’t think I can go in,” Spike said.

“Well, you can’t stay out here. I don’t think they make SPF 1000 Spike,” Xander grinned.

“You don’t know what it’s like!” Spike shouted at him, before collecting himself. “To know what I do. What I did. To have it hit you in the face like a steamroller. To know that I’ve failed her again....” Spike trailed off. “I don’t think I can go back in there.”

“Spike, man, it’s not your fault what happened here. As for the rest, well, that’s why you have your soul now,” Xander said.

“It is my fault. If I hadn’t done the things I’ve done, if I’d have kept those Bringers from taking her, none of this would have happened,” Spike bit out. “As for the soul, if I didn’t have it then I would have just gone in there the first night they took her and....”

“And you would’ve died and Buffy would still be in that cave.” Willow softly finished. She gave Xander a glance and he nodded back at her as he moved inside the house, leaving Willow and Spike alone on the porch.

Willow walked to the steps and sat down. “Xander’s right, you know.” She said, not looking at him. “You didn’t fail her. Of course, if you want to think that, then go right ahead. I forgot how much you liked the self-pity.” This garnered an indignant glare from Spike, which Willow caught from the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to warn you before you came in earlier. We got her all cleaned up though. Had to give her a big ol' magic tranquilizer, but at least she’s sleeping now. She should be out a few more hours,” Willow offered as she stood up. “I burned some blessed incense too. That should help you with the, ah, scents.” Willow took a moment to observe the newest ensouled vampire. Spike was visibly shaking as he leaned against the rail, trying to maintain his composure.

“You coming inside? I don’t relish the idea of telling Buffy when she wakes up why we have a new ashtray labeled ‘Spike’.” Willow smiled softly.

“I don’t think I can do it,” Spike said quietly.

“This from the vampire who went out and got his own soul,” Willow laughed.

“It wouldn’t be good for her to have me here reminding her of everything. I should just go,” Spike finished.

“I thought you promised her you’d never leave?” Willow asked. Spike turned to stare at Willow. “We’re best friends,” Willow shrugged. “She tells me these things. Besides, I think you owe it to her to be here. I think we all do,” she finished as she put a hand on Spike’s shoulder and gave him a sad little smile. Spike nodded his agreement then turned and followed her in the house.

**********





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