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Thank you for hanging tough with this story....it has taken on a life of it's own.....

Buffy sat at the breakfast table as she fed Molly her cereal. Ryan sat on her other side as Riley quietly fed him. Her husband had become withdrawn after she told him about her meeting with Spike and that he was going to meet the twins on Saturday.

"I have an errand to run this morning." Riley suddenly said, causing her to look over at him with a worried expression.

"Okay, remember we have the meeting with Dr. Walsh this afternoon." Buffy reminded him, not realizing how the seemingly innocent comment would upset him.

"How can I forget that?" he asked sarcastically.

"Riley, talk to me."

"Why, you made the decision to have him meet them on Saturday without talking to me. I think, just maybe, I should've been involved in that decision. Could be it would have been more appropriate to have met with Dr. Walsh first." He explained, as he continued to feed his son. "I mean, technically I'm still their father."

Buffy felt the tears come to her eyes, wondering how everything became too complicated this past week. "I'm sorry this is happening."

"Are you Buffy?"

She stared at him with a shocked expression, as she replied, "Excuse me?"

"Are you sorry he found you?"

"Riley, I've told you, I'm committed to this relationship." Her voice was tight, as she tried to keep her anger under control. "What more do I have to say to make you believe that?"

"I really need to go take care of something." Riley replied, ignoring her question, not having an answer for her.

"Can I ask where you're going?" She sighed, fighting the tears.

"I need to speak to Spike myself, and before you say anything, it's something I need to do." Riley said, as he finished Ryan's feeding by wiping the baby's mouth. "I promise I won't do or say anything that will upset him."

"It could upset him by you just coming to visit." Buffy warned him.

"Well, I guess if he plans on being a part of the twins lives, he needs to get used to dealing with me." Riley surmised lifting the baby up so he could use the excuse to burp him to cuddle the infant.

"Riley, do all of us a favor and try not to deal with him, but maybe interact instead." Buffy offered up her voice firm surprising both of them. "I will not let this become a pissing contest. It's not fair to Ryan or Molly, and not something I think William is up too, in fact I'm sure he would run before trying to come between us."

Riley noticed the pained expression that briefly crossed over her face. He was sure she hadn't shared everything about her meeting with her ex-boyfriend, and wasn't feeling comfortable to call her on it. Something told him deep down she would leave him, but only if he pushed her to.

He sighed leaning against he counter with Ryan's warm breath on his neck, "I will do my best, Buffy, that's all I can promise."

Riley watched as she slowly nodded her head and said, "That's all I, or anyone, can ask of you."

*******

William sat in the courtyard reading one of the books he'd bought on childcare and parenting. The more he read the more he wanted to meet the twins. Also the more he read the more he wanted something better for her. He knew once he called her by her given name it would make her real, and a part of him knew he was not ready to deal with her just yet.

Riley stood off to the side and observed the threat to his happiness as Spike read a book on childcare. He watched the different expressions cross the other man's face and felt the urge to go over and tell him to leave and to never come back. He knew it was wrong, he knew that Spike deserved to know his kids. Knowing it still didn't shut out the voices inside his head that screamed that he was in danger of losing everything that was important to him.

William suddenly felt like someone was watching him, as he glanced up from his book and noticed Buffy's husband staring at him. He felt the animosity the other man was directing toward him, could see it in the other man's eyes and on his face.

A part of him wanted to lash out and strike it from Riley's face. Thinking to himself, how dare the man think he could have what belonged to him, Buffy included. The other half whispered that Mr. Finn was a better man for the job of husband and father.

Riley fought back the urge to walk over and order the man to leave, but instead took a deep breath and moved to do as Buffy advised. He would do his best to make nice with the man that broke his wife's heart and try to find a happy medium they both could work with. Especially since the truth was, Spike was not the one truly at fault as he'd thought.

William continued to sit, working at keeping his anxiety under control. The last thing he needed was to have this man try and come between him and his children. He knew before he'd let it become an issue, since he'd hurt Buffy too much already, he would leave.

"Mr. Finn, please come take a seat." William offered, as he closed the book and waved the other man over to join him.

Riley relaxed a bit as he walked over and took a chair across from Spike, "Please, call me Riley."

"Can do that, please call me William." He replied, feeling like he was acting like Giles, all pomp and circumstance.

"I think we both know why I'm here, William." Riley decided to get to the point. "I think if you are going to be a part of my family's life we should get to know each other better."

William felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart, hearing the man talk about Buffy and the kids as if they belonged to him. He felt his heart start to race, as he fought a battle that was going on inside his brain at the other man's implied words.

"So, what is it you want to know?" William decided to calmly try and find out the man's intentions before he possibly over reacted.

"Do you think you could be a better father then I can?" Riley asked, not caring right now if he was right or wrong in asking the question. His basic instinct of protecting what he deemed his, was taking over.

William flinched having his own question of the week asked aloud by the one man he believed was better suited for the job of fatherhood. "I don't know, I've only found out a few days ago, but would like a chance to try."

Riley's temper flared as he replied, "You have a daughter you ignore, but you want to come and take mine."

William felt like he was drowning as he replied, "I will not speak of her to you."

"Why not? If you can't be a father to her, how can I trust my kids to be in your care?" Riley knew this was not how he had wanted it to go, but for some reason he couldn't stop himself.

"It's different, and I can't expect you to understand that it's different." William tried to explain, since before this moment he never realized how much he did want to see the twins. "Can I ask how you know about her in the first place, it's not common knowledge I have any children."

"She is just as important as they are, and you should know that. She's a gift, a miracle that you should hold close not something to put aside because of the circumstances of her birth." Riley sat back and watched how the other man squirmed in his chair. "I still have friends that come to the club where Buffy used to work. It was overheard in passing that you had a secret daughter that was being kept under wraps."

William was finding it hard to concentrate, as he flashed back to when he'd first read the part of Fred's journal were she wrote how she'd prayed she was pregnant after she'd raped him that first time. The words had penetrated his soul, making him feel dirty and unclean. It had taken him several weeks before he could pick up the journal and read anymore.

"I created them with Buffy, they are my blood. I'm sorry, but I will be a very active father in their lives, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. As for any other children in my life or not, is none of your concern and I wish you would tell your friends to not pass such information about so candidly. You have no idea what I've been through and frankly, I don't want you to know, it's none of your business. If you wish to be a part of their lives, I cannot and will not stand in your way, unless you do something to prevent me from being in theirs." William had found it within himself to stand up to Buffy's over bearing husband and tell him how it was going to be. "So, either you can learn to live with the fact you will be Riley, and I will be daddy, or we will let the courts decide."

"I bet the courts will side with me." Riley countered, thinking that with Spike's history no court would let him near the twins. "I know this friend has not told anyone. I spoke with them last night and promised they will keep this information to herself."

"But will you lose Buffy in the meantime? Do you think she would let you turn this into a pissing contest, and not think of what is best for her kids? I don't think so; I think she will side with me on this. So before you come in here and try and intimidate me, don't." William felt a bit of his old self emerge. "As for you friend, I have no other choice but to believe you."

Riley realized he might have made a tactical error in dealing with Spike and leaned back in his chair, "You think you know Buffy that well?"

William leaned forward and smiled, "More then you must, if you think she'd let you keep me away from our babies. She knows what it's like to have a parent abandon their child, both of hers did. She knows I'm not perfect. She also knows I wouldn't abandon them, and before you say anything else, remember you have no idea how I feel or don't feel about my other daughter. You don't know what I'm thinking of doing to maybe provide her with more then I could offer her, not because of her, but of the damage her mother did to both of us. I don't hate my daughter, Mr. Finn, in fact I love her. Even having yet to see her face or hear her laugh. I don't know what she smells like, but I want what is best for her, to make her life more then being a product of her mother's sick obsession with me. I know her name, Mr. Finn, I just choose not to use it, fearing it would make it that much harder to let her go if I feel that would be the best thing for her. So Mr. Finn, if that is all, I must ask you to leave."

Riley smiled sadly as he replied, "William, I found out more today then I figured. I think you will make a great father and I will do nothing to stand in your way."

William looked at him with a confused look, "I don't understand?"

Riley chuckled softly as he replied, "I'll be honest. I secretly hoped you'd crumple and turn tail and run. But a part of me is happy we had this talk, and I know now without a doubt you will be a good father to the twins. You're right about Buffy as well, she would divorce me in a heartbeat if I tried to keep you away from your kids."

William nodded as he reassured the other man of one other thing, "I will not lie and say I don't still love Buffy. But I will promise you this, I will in no way try and come between the two of you and your marriage."

Riley stood up and held out his hand, "I appreciate your honesty."

"I don't want to be enemies." William said as he accepted Riley's hand and they shook, silently promising the other to try to stay on friendly terms.

"I'm sorry if I was a little rough." Riley said as they stepped back from each other.

William laughed, "I'm not, felt good to feel a bit of my temper come back. It's been along time since I'd stood up for myself, and believe me it felt good."

Riley nodded his head in a silent show of support. He'd seen some of the fire he'd noticed the couple times he'd seen Spike visit Buffy at the bar. It reminded him how the sparks would fly between the couple wondering if they were still there. He would have to pay attention when he watched Spike and Buffy interact in the future.

"Well, I should be going. Buffy and I have an appointment with a Dr. Walsh this afternoon." Riley explained.

"Yeah, Wes told me about her, says she's good at what she does." William said as he put his hands in his pockets and stared off into space.

"Would you be interested in coming with us one day, maybe?" Riley asked, and regretted it when he noticed the haunted look come over the man's face and quickly added, "As a group meeting, together."

William relaxed hearing the other man's concern and his words of support as he replied, "Will take it one day at a time and see what happens."

"Sounds fair." Riley replied feeling better having noticed that Spike had relaxed again, "Would you rather I was there tomorrow or would you like it to be just you and Buffy?"

William sighed, "Would you mind if it was just Buffy, I really don't know if I'd be comfortable with anyone else seeing how I react when I see them."

Riley smiled and sincerely replied, "No I wouldn't mind and understand perfectly. Again I’m sorry for earlier."

William shook his head as he replied, "I'm not, I glad we got it all out in the open now. Clears the air as we work on our relationship, and don't tell anyone I said that. I think I've been spending way too much time with Wesley, I need to send him off to his bird here soon."

"No problem, your secret is safe with me." Riley replied before he turned to leave.

William watched as the man who was returning to the wife, kids, and home, he himself wished was his. Taking a deep breath he reopened his book and cleared his thoughts as he got back into reading about cognitive skills of six-month-old infants.

*******

Buffy stood next the phone and felt like she and the voice box was in a staring contest. All she needed to do was pick up the phone and dial a number that she had not forgotten. She never thought there would come a day that she'd be afraid to talk to an old friend.

Finally, she picked up the receiver and dialed the number, starting with a one, and then the California area code. She had rehearsed her first words over and over until she knew them frontward and backward.

"Hello?" The soft voice answered, sounding hopeful.

Everything she had practiced went out the window, "God! Willow I'm so sorry, honest I really am." She cried as she sat in the recliner and curled up with her knees to her chest.

Willow's tears mixed with hers as the both just cried for a few minutes over the phone. Buffy could hear Oz in the background comforting his wife, and asking her to let go of the phone.

"Buffy?" Oz asked, and all he could hear was another woman crying on the other end of the phone. "It's okay, I'm putting Willow back on."

All she could do was nod her head yes, even knowing he couldn't see her. Just the fact he talked to her in a friendly manner, and was putting Willow back on the phone helped her to relax. He didn't hate her was all she could say to herself.

"Buffy, I missed you something awful." Willow managed to get out between sniffles. "I'm so happy you called, means you must have got my letter."

"Yeah, and the pictures, too. I will have to send you a couple of the twins."

"Yes, you do that, I bet they are cuties."

"They look like William, except Molly has my green eyes, Ryan has his father's eyes."

"Buffy, can I ask why?"

Willow's voice sounded so hurt, it brought fresh tears to her eyes as she tried to explain, "I wasn't thinking very clearly at the time. I really wasn't in much shape to make any rational decisions. If Riley had not been there, I think I would've lost it all. He's been so sweet and loving to me and the babies."

"Why not later, when you got yourself back together?"

Buffy sighed, "I was scared you'd be mad and hang up the phone. I thought about you and yours, and Faith and Robin, every day. I just could not face the disappointment and rejection."

"I never would've told Spike anything, you know that right?"

"Yes, I knew that all along, just didn't want anymore lies or talking to anyone that I'd then become weak and ask about him. It was never you guys, it was me. I knew I was not strong enough to handle being around anyone with any knowledge of him whatsoever."

"So it wasn't me?"

"No, Willow, it was never about you, I swear." Buffy reassured her.

"So, are you going to take him back?"

"Willow, I'm married to Riley."

"But do you love him?"

Buffy felt tightness in her chest as she confessed, "I love them both, but I've committed myself to Riley. I owe it to him to give us a chance. He has been there for me and the babies and it wouldn't be right to just walk away from him."

"Okay, I will give you that. For now!" Willow replied.

"So, tell me about little Becky?" Buffy asked, trying to change the subject for now.

Willow chuckled, knowing what her friend was doing, but letting it go for now. "She is doing wonderful, you should see her and Oz. He has found a girl he loves more then me, I think."

"Never!" Buffy heard him say in the background, and Willow's giggle.

They continued to talk and catch up, sharing like they'd never been apart. Buffy felt she had someone she could finally talk to about everything, when she was ready. Willow was happy to have her best friend back, safe and sound.

*******

William heard the phone ring as he closed his door, wondering who would be calling him. He had just had lunch with the others, and Buffy and Riley was due at the doctor's office.

"Hello."

"Hello, honey." Jenny whispered, "I've missed you."

William felt the tears form, and his defenses rise, "I've missed you too."

"I needed to call and tell you I love you and I'm so proud of you." She sighed, as her tears fell down her cheeks. "I've been a very bad Auntie and I plan on making up for that."

"You've not been bad at all, and stop saying that." William whispered.

"Well, enough of that, this is going to be a happy call. Tell me about my niece and nephew. I bet they are beautiful."

"I have a copy of the disk that Buffy gave me being made to send you." William said, as he began to relax. "They're beautiful. Both of them look like me, except Molly has green eyes where Ryan's are blue like mine. I get to meet them tomorrow."

"That's wonderful, you make sure you take a camera. I want pictures of you and them together, do you hear me, young man." She laughed, feeling happy to hear the joy in his voice.

"I love you, Aunt Jenny."

"I love you bunches, and don't you ever forget that. I will never stop loving you. I'm sorry if you ever thought I would turn my back on you, it will never happen."

"But, with, everything with, well you know." His voice broke at the end, as he started to cry.

"I will support any decision you make, do you understand? I will not lose you." Jenny told him as her voice became firm and commanding, "I love you as if you were my own son."

"Uncle Giles?"

"You will have to ask him, you know how he hates for me to speak for him." She teased as she handed her husband the phone.

Giles took the phone from his wife with his free hand; the other helped secure his wife to his side. It had come time to decide where he stood with Abby and Spike. It was a decision that was proving to be difficult and heartbreaking.

"William."

"Giles."

He could hear the little boy who had won his heart since he was a baby. Since that night in the hospital and hearing some of the things his nephew was saying in his delirium angered him to no end. He wanted to hunt down Ethan Rayne and tear him apart limb by limb.

"William, I will back you with any decision you make. I'm here for you and I love you." Rupert said, as he closed his eyes and knew he had made right decision, hearing his boy's reply.

"I missed you."

"I've never been to the east coast." Giles sighed.

"I'm having Wesley hypnotize me Sunday, see what I can remember." William said out of the blue.

"Then I guess I will see about getting a flight tonight or tomorrow." Giles replied firmly adding, "and before you say anything, I will not let you face that alone. I'm going to be there for you and there is nothing you can say that will keep me away."

"I need you here." Were the only words William could say.

"Then I will be there."

"I wish you were my father, then maybe I wouldn't be so fucked up."

"Will, consider me your father, and I will do everything in my power to help you get through this. Further, more don't use that foul language again; you are and never have been fucked up. Having some issues, major ones, yes, but you are strong enough to over come them." Giles' tone told William there was not point in arguing with him.

"Let me know when to expect you."

"I will, now, I have to go pack and remember I love you." Giles replied as he handed the phone back to his wife and kissed her cheek. "I'm going to support our boy."

"Thank you!" She said as she gave him a tearful, but happy smile.

"William, honey, are you still there?" She asked.

"Yeah." She could tell he was crying and it broke her heart she was not there.

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about, or do you want me to ask Rupert? It's okay if you want me to ask him, honest."

"Could you ask him?"

"Yes, I will, now let me go and see about getting him a flight booked. I will be talking to you soon."

"How is she?"

"She is doing wonderful, don't worry about her right now. I will take good care of her until you are sure what you think is best for her."

She heard the relief in his voice as he replied, "Thank you for everything."

"Oh, my boy that is what family is for. Remember, you are important to me, same as Angel. I would never turn my back on you, believe me."

"I believe you, honest I do." William replied feeling like a ton of bricks had been lifted from his chest. "I was worried for a moment you'd disown me if I chose to put her up for adoption."

"Never! You have to do what you think is best for your daughter. I finally understand that and will support you anyway I can." She vowed to him, knowing it would break her heart to give up Abby, but she would if she had to.

"I'm sorry to have put you through all of this."

"Be done with that. We made that decision and sort of badgered you into giving her to us. We were warned, and I will never regret the time with her, never, or hold it against you if you find her a new home, with a new family."

"I do love you, more then you'll ever know."

"I don't think you know just how much we love you either, both me and your uncle."

"I think I better hang up now before I totally start balling like a baby." William teased trying to lighten the mood.

"I will be thinking about you."

"Me too, thinking about you that is." He laughed, "Talk to you soon."

"Yes, call me when he lands." Jenny said before she hung up the phone, after they said their final goodbye.

Jenny smiled as she remembered how he'd hero-worshipped her husband ever since he was a child. Giles was like God, to young William, hanging on to his every word. If only she knew then what she knew now, she would have offered Anne and her boy safe haven before Ethan scarred his sweet family's lives.





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