What can I say...I'm sad it has come to an end. I was afraid to post this story, but it was something I had to do. I wanted to stretch myself and to a point I did. It was supposed to not have a happy ending. Just wasn't able to do it.
For those of you who by your reviews kept me posting, I THANK YOU from the top and bottom of my heart. For the few that have kept with this story, I THANK YOU as well. For as hard as it was for you to read, it was double that for me to write. I want to thank Mrs. Muir for her wonderful beting and encouragement....for without her there would be no story here. Ashlee, thanks for the moral support...it was greatly appreciated. Now on to the story, and I hope you are as happy with the ending as I am......
17 years later
"Mom, where's dad?" Ryan asked.
"He will be right back."
"Where did he go?"
"Ryan, he had an errand to run, now scoot and get ready, everyone will be here before you know it."
"I wish I could have gone with him."
"I’m beginning to wish the same, but don't worry he will be here to save you from the female population shortly, now go and get ready." Buffy teased as her 18-year-old son rolled his eyes and walked out of her bedroom.
She turned to finish getting ready. It wasn't everyday you celebrated your children graduating from high school. Suddenly she remembered what made it possible for today to happen.
Buffy remembered the conversation with Dr. Walsh that sent her down the road of going after what was hers. She walked out of the doctor's office that day with one goal in mind. William was going to be hers again, and this time no one was going to take him away from her.
Buffy anxiously sat in Maggie Walsh's office, wondering if she was doing the right thing. She had never talked about her mother with anyone before, or her father. She had always believed the rule, don't talk about it, then it didn't happen.
"Buffy, I'm sorry, had a phone call I had to take." Maggie apologized as she entered her office.
"Not a problem, gave me more time to gather my courage, actually." Buffy replied, understanding how things came up no matter how hard you plan something.
"I think we left off with talking about your mother's addiction and how it affected your relationship with her." Maggie started, after looking at her notes from their last session together.
"The fact is she loved the drugs more then me."
"Buffy, do you really think you can measure someone's love if they can't choose you over their addictions?"
"Yes!" Buffy firmly answered.
"I think you should be asking why her addictions were able to take over her life. Most of the time you don't realize the painful reality the addict is hiding from. There are issues that pressured them to make rash decisions, and not always good ones. It starts out making them feel good, better, like they can overcome what brought them to this crossroads of sorts. Gives them a false sense of security that sneaks up on you in the end and pulls the rug out from under them and rips control away from them." Maggie tried to explain her theory.
"Could she not see what she was doing to me?"
"I can't speak for your mother. All I can say from what you've told me, is she never stopped trying to stop. I see that as she did care and most likely loved you. Maybe her inner demon was stronger, overpowering her ability to win the war against her addiction."
"Could you say the same about William?"
"From what you've shared, it looks like William has come a long way in his treatment. So much has happened in his life, and it looks as if he has found he is stronger then his demons."
"Yes, he has. I'm sure you're right about my mom. She did have a hard time of it, with my father's abuse and how he left her for another woman the way he did."
"Yes, it sounds like your father was not a very nice person."
"He beat her and called her all kinds of names. He never laid a hand on me, but his words hurt just as much."
"Buffy, I have one question to ask you and I don't want you to think really hard about the answer."
"Okay."
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with William?"
Buffy's eyes grew large as she answered quickly, "Yes!"
"Then what do you think you should do to make that happen?"
"I need to find it in myself to give him another chance."
"Is he worth fighting for?"
"Yes!"
"Then I think you know if you are ready to give him a second chance or not."
Buffy looked at the woman on the other side of the desk, wondering how this woman knew what she wanted. Not only that, the woman knew how to make her realize so clearly what she needed to do. "Maggie, are you Wesley in disguise?"
Maggie laughed as she replied, "No, but I take that as a compliment."
"Oh, yeah, you both have a gift, and I hope you realize how truly special you both are."
"Thank you." Maggie said humbly.
"Well, it looks like I have a future and a man to go and claim as mine."
Maggie smiled as she held out her hand and said, "You go and do just that. You both deserve to be happy."
Buffy returned the smile as she shook the woman's hand before leaving. She suddenly felt she needed to see William and inform him she was going to fight for him, and God help anyone that stood in her way.
*******
He stood, just outside their bedroom door, watching his wife. She was trying to select which pair of earrings she was going to wear. In his eyes, she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Her expressions as she tried to decide what piece would look right with her simple pastel sundress, made him smile. He wanted to take her where she stood and show her just how much he still enjoyed worshiping her body.
No one had ever touched his heart and soul as deeply as she did. From the moment he first met her, he knew, she was the one. He knew without her, his life would be incomplete and he would have just wandered about lost and alone.
William heard a familiar voice calling his name, as he opened the car door. Looking to his left he saw Buffy running towards him. He was on his way to the airport, since he and his father was meeting with the lawyers, concerning the legal formalities that would legally make him Eric's son.
"William, don't go yet." Buffy yelled.
He stepped back and waited as she drew closer, wishing she were coming to tell him she wanted him. Before he knew it she was in his arms with her arms around his neck, kissing him with everything she had it would seem. Never thinking twice he wrapped his arms around her, pulling closer as he started to return the kiss.
"I needed to see you before you left." Buffy panted when she came up for air. "I wanted to tell you I will miss you while you're gone, and to hurry home."
"Buffy?" He said her name with a questionable tone.
"William, I want you to come back to me. I want us to work at trying again, be a family."
"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper.
"You are mine, Mister. I lost you once and I will not lose you again." Buffy reassured him as she leaned down and put her forehead to his and asked, "I know I might be going too fast, but William, will you grow old with me?"
He twirled her around laughing as he stared at her in awe, "There is nothing I want more in the world then to spend the rest of my days on this earth with you."
"I love you Will."
"I love you too, baby, more then you'll ever know."
"We can talk more when you get back."
"I will call you when I get settled, you just keep you and my babies safe until I get back."
"Just come home to me."
He could see some of the fear and anxiety in her eyes as he replied, "I know what its like without you, and I never want to feel that way again."
"Well, I guess we are stuck together then." She giggled before she leaned in to nibble on his lips. "Lips of Spike, Spike's lips, all mine."
"Yeah, baby, all yours." He smiled, knowing he was back now.
"Love the reunion, and I'm very happy for you both." Eric chuckled, as he watched the couple that he deemed perfectly matched. "But, if we don't move it we will miss the last flight that will get us there in time for the meeting."
"You, sir had better take care of my future." Buffy warned him, giving Spike's father a mocking glare.
"I will bring him back as soon as I can, you have my word." Eric promised the young woman he envisioned becoming his daughter one day soon.
"Spike, I meant it when I asked you to grow old with me." Buffy sighed.
"I know, Luv. I meant it when I said I'd wait until the end of the world for you, if I had too."
"Come home soon."
"Shouldn't be more then two days, three at the most," Eric informed her.
"Now, give us a kiss and let me go and let my father make me legally his son."
"I'm so happy for you, and I love you." Buffy kissed him as she slid down his body, wanting him to feel what would be waiting for him when he got back.
"God! Woman!" Spike growled as he felt her move against him.
"Have a safe trip." She said right before she kissed his briefly before stepping back.
He got in the car and then turned to watch her face as they drove away. His heart almost stopped beating when she blew him a kiss. Once he heard her call him Spike he knew, he was back, fully, back now.
"Dad?" Ryan whispered, having stood next to the man for a few moments watching his father look adoringly at his mother.
The open love for each other that his parents showed the world never made him feel embarrassed. Instead, it made him want to find that special someone that would make him feel the same way they did for each other.
His son's voice shook him out of his thoughts as he turned his attention to the young man, "Son."
"Can we talk?"
"Sure, anytime you know that."
Ryan gave him a nervous smile telling him the young man had something important and private to say to him. He gave his unsuspecting wife one last look before following his son to his room.
He took a seat at the desk and watched as Ryan paced anxiously in the room. It reminded him of someone else, bringing a smile to his face, thinking to himself, "Like father like son."
"Dad, I've been wanting to have this talk for the longest."
"Sounds serious."
Ryan looked over at this father and finally blurted it out, "I've decided not to join the Army and I want to take a year off from school. I want to live on my own get a regular job and work with the band and just be normal."
He looked at his son and smiled, "You know I will support you anyway I can, but you have to make me a promise."
"What kind of promise?"
"Well a couple actually. First you and me will have to face your mother together, she might not be too happy with your sudden decision."
He was not about to tell his son that his mother and father had already figured that one out. In fact, last night he and Buffy had talked about how they would handle the fact he might be following a family tradition. Since the love and making of music ran in the family.
"But it's not sudden, just never had the courage to talk about it before."
"I'm sorry to hear that, I was sure you felt you could come to me and talk about anything." A touch of disappointment could be heard in his voice.
"I can, I just needed to be sure it was what I wanted first, with out any doubt. I needed to figure it out on my own, wanting to make a grown up decision on my own. Then I had to build up the courage, to tell you guys, thinking I might be letting you and mom down in some way."
"Then I take it you've really thought about this."
"Yes, I want to go back to school and study music, but I want to take a year off first and just relax. I want to teach, I found I really enjoy teaching music. What else?"
"The other is to stay away from drugs and don't drink too much."
"Dad!"
"I'm sorry, I worry about it, I trust you. I'm just afraid to lose you that way."
"I swear, no drugs and don't like beer anyway. Anything else?"
"When you find the one, and you will know when you meet her, never let her go."
"I promise."
"Then you have my support and I will do everything in my power to be there for you. Never for a moment have you let me down, never doubt that I want what's best for you. Sometimes the best is being true to yourself, no matter what."
"I love you, Dad." Ryan hugged his father, knowing the hardest one to really talk to would be next.
"I love you, my boy, always have and always will. But I think we need to leave the telling mom until tomorrow. Don't want to ruin the party for everyone else." He chuckled as he returned the hug.
"Can I show you the apartment me and the guys found to share tomorrow?"
"Sure, could be I might have to move in with you." He teased.
"Mom would never kick you out, she's as crazy about you as you are of her." Ryan snorted.
"Let's get ready before the troops arrive and the party begins."
*******
Buffy turned around after fixing her hair again for the umpteenth time and found her husband staring at her with a twinkle in his eyes. She felt a warm feeling over come over her as she wished the world away. The fact he still wanted her after all this time made her heart flutter and her body crave his touch.
"You, mister, had better behave, we have company coming soon."
"How soon?"
"Soon enough. You need to start getting ready."
"But I'm ready for you anytime, anywhere."
"Not that ready." She giggled as she pointed to the nice slacks and shirt she had laid out for him. "Nice family occasion, pictures, mingling, and celebrating our children's graduation."
"God, where has all the time gone?" His voiced, as he looked around the room, only to end up smiling suggestively at her.
"I guess its true time flies when you're having fun, and mister, I've loved every minute of it."
"Have you now?" He chuckled as he undressed her with his eyes while his tongue curled behind his teeth.
She knew there was no way she was getting out of this room with out her husband having his way with her. Giving him a sexy smile she reached behind her back and unzipped her dress, slipping it off and laying it carefully on the back of the chair so not to wrinkle.
"I can't believe you still get so turned on thinking about me."
"Oh, but baby, I love your body. The changes here are because of the children we made together. This beautiful body harbored four of my children, and gives me more pleasure then a man could ask for. As the song says, 'you are the wind beneath my wings'."
She flew into his embrace with tears in her eyes, "You are mine and I'm yours until death do us part."
He carried her, with her body wrapped around his, to their bed. He lay her softly on the bed gazing at her adoringly. Thanking whoever was responsible for bringing her back into his life, giving him a second chance.
"Yes, and even beyond. I will find you I promise." He gasped as he hands moved under her slip pushing her panties aside as his fingers slipped inside her warmth. "So wet for me Pet, been thinking about me have you or was it the mailman?
"Oh, you, it's Sunday, no mail comes on Sunday." She moaned as she worked at getting his pants undone, after he'd removed her panties.
He chuckled, "No, but we will." He groaned she freed his hard cock, stroking it as she positioned him at the warm, wet entrance to her body.
Buffy moaned and laughed at the same time as she begged, "I want you, baby, now, please."
"Anything you wish for baby that I can give you I will." He sighed with contentment as he thrust up inside her warmth. Feeling complete, whole, since every time they made love, it was like coming home.
"I love you!"
"I know, and I love you back!"
"I know!"
The guests had started to arrive, their smiles full of understanding when the kids told them their mother was helping their father get ready for the party. Angel out right laughed as he kissed Cordy full on the mouth and gave her a saucy wink.
*******
Buffy stood on the porch watching all the people gathered to help them celebrate Ryan's, Molly's, and Abby's graduation. Giles and Jenny were sitting talking to Angel and Cordy. Willow, Oz, Xander, Anya, where mingling together by the pool watching the younger ones swim. Penn and his wife Darla were playing Frisbee with a small group of teenagers.
Her husband and love of her life was slow dancing with Abby as if she was the bell of the ball. Eric and his family mingled around, with the big proud grandfather watching proudly as Spike and Abby danced. Wesley with his wife Kate was conversing with Faith and Robin. Everyone's children were playing, talking, and having fun.
She had contacted Jenny soon after deciding she wanted a life with William. At first, she was leery about meeting the little baby, but seeing Abby's smile, so like her fathers, she couldn't refuse wanting to take her home with her. Where William could only see Fred, she was able to see how much she resembled her father more then her mother.
"Buffy, I'm so glad you came." Jenny's voice sincere and she looked so happy to see her. "I will support any decision Will makes, but she's so loved here, I would hate to lose her."
She walked up to Will's aunt, noticing the little cherub in the woman's arms. The fear she would not be able to look at this innocent being and feel nothing haunted her. The last thing she needed was to hold a baby accountable for her mother's crimes.
"So this is Abby?" She asked as she moved closer, wondering if she'd see anything of Spike in this baby.
The baby, having heard her name looked up from where she was lying on Jenny's shoulder. The moment their eyes met, she was lost. The bluest eyes she ever saw, the same as her father's, bore into her soul. There was no way she was going to let this baby be without her daddy. The bond was formed as she lifted the baby in her arms and claimed her as family.
"Welcome home Abby." Buffy said, making Jenny say, "I knew you would love her. I just knew it."
"Thank you for bringing her to meet me. It might take some time, but I will get Spike to accept her." Buffy promised.
That day when Jenny placed the baby in her arms, the mother instincts took over. There was no way she was going to let this innocent lovable baby get lost in the shuffle that Fred had created. It had taken time, energy, and a great deal of patience to get William to open his heart to her. It was during this time they also came to an understanding about their future.
When Abby turned fifteen years old, and started to question hers and the twin's close birthdays, was when they made an appointment with Maggie Walsh. They had decided along with Maggie's advice to let it all come about naturally. It hadn't been as hard as they thought it might have been. Abby accepted that her natural mother had been ill, and the woman who raised her, did it with love for her.
*******
Spike thought back as he danced with Abby, to when Buffy had placed her into his arms. It had been the first time he laid eyes on the living reminder of his dark times. He listened as Buffy told her how beautiful she was, and how she looked so much like her father.
"Will, really look at her. Other then her hair, she looks like you. She has your eyes, your nose and cheeks. She is your daughter, a baby who needs her father. It's okay to love her, for she is lovable. Listen how she's cooing to you."
The longer he held her the more his heart warmed to her presence. Buffy's words sunk in and he started to really look at the little bundle of wiggling flesh. He could see everything Buffy was telling him. There really was no resemblance of Fred about her. He could see his eyes, his mother's eyes, looking back at him."
The moment her little hands touched his cheeks, he was lost. The tears flowed as he leaned in to breathe deep her baby scent. Her baby noises, made him smile as she babbled on as if she was talking to him.
"Abby, girl, I'm your daddy." He sighed as he leaned in and kissed her forehead and pulled her close to his chest.
"We can raise her together as if she belongs to us." Buffy whispered as she wrapped her arms around both of them. "We will love her enough, so when we tell her the truth about her mother, she will know she is loved no matter what. We can do this Spike, I know it."
He looked at her, feeling for the first time all the ghosts from that dark time in his life was being laid to rest. The last piece of the puzzle was now in place. Abby was going to be a part of his life now, not only his, but with Buffy as well.
He had come to understand that he had tried to fight Fred's black magic, since being hypnotized. Between his weakened state of going through withdrawals and his battered self-esteem, she had won. It was like Ethan had prepared him for her invasion into his mind, making it easy for Fred to slip in and reprogram him to suit her needs.
It was not that he had not loved Buffy enough, but that Fred had known his weaknesses, and used them against him. She took advantage of his condition, plying him with more drugs then he needed and others that were illegal. Then when he finally broke thru, it was too late, and the damage already been done. He could not handle what he had done with Fred and so he tried to end it all with a slip of a piece of glass.
Wesley had figured everything out, she had used the first time she had raped him to implant her suggestions and code words. The words that allowed her to program him to fit her needs and desires. When confronted with the bunch of pills, his real self found a crack and started to fight to be free. It was this battle, between his own self and whom Fred had created that had led to him slicing his wrist, in hopes all the pain would go away.
Wesley's patience and fortitude is what helped bring back to the living and sanity.
The good doctor had figured out he'd been programmed and was able to effectively deprogram him. But the damage had been so deep his subconscious had tucked it all away, nice and safe place, until he was ready to face it.
To this day he thanked God, and any other higher power that made things in his life so much richer. His career flourished, and now the band held legend status around the world. More importantly was the fact his personal life satisfied him more then he thought possible.
*******
Buffy continued to watch as her friends and family visited and caught up with each other. The most important people in her life were here today. Life with Spike had been one big adventure. They loved, fought, made up, played with their children and made more. She honestly had no regrets in choosing to follow her heart.
The one thing that surprised everyone was how well Riley and Tara had hit it off when they first met. She introduced them to each other, at the twin's first birthday party. They dated for about a year, and were now happily married going on fifteen years. Today they stood over talking to Ryan, as her son was having a deep conversation that had Riley looking sad for a moment, before his boyish smile returned.
She found her Molly standing by a young man that graduated with her, talking and smiling together. The couple's interaction was not lost on her husband either, noticing him send a worried glance their way a few times.
Henry was playing Frisbee with his two uncles, laughing and looking more like her then his father. She could remember the day she told William she was pregnant with him. The look of awe on his face, as he kneeled down crying as he held her, melted her heart and caused her to fall more in love with her husband.
Then there was Joyce Anne, who at this moment was trying to dunk Alex, Xander's oldest in the pool. She knew her daughter had a crush on the young man. Xander and William had even gone so far to try to betroth them. Alex being 16 soon to be 17 compared to her 13 years of age. Linda was sitting at the side of the pool egging her granddaughter on and giving her tips how to get the upper hand on how to dunk Alex.
*******
Spike glanced toward his better half, noticing the serene expression on his wife's face and sighed. He would never get tired of looking at her, no matter how long they managed to stay together.
"Hey, Kitten, I think gramps there is wanting a turn." Spike teased, as he kissed his daughter's forehead before handing her off to his father. "Precious cargo here, handle with care."
Eric laughed as he took his granddaughter in his arms.
"Hi, gramps, missed me?" Abby asked, as she knew she was soon to be replaced by her mother. "Give Mom a big fat kiss for me."
"Your wish is my command, Princess." Spike chuckled as he went to spend some quality time with the love of his life.
"Hey, Mister!"
"Oh, she speaks. I had first thought you a vision, a figment of my imagination." Spike sighed as he joined her on the porch.
He stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her backside up against him. "You even feel so real." He said right before he nuzzled her neck with his lips, "Hmmm, you taste very real, and have me craving you."
"I love it, my own personal taste tester." She giggled as she relaxed against him, tilting her head to the side, giving him better access to her neck.
"I would feast on you for weeks and never be satisfied. I will want you for the rest of my life. Do you think you can handle that?"
"If you promise me many, many, wonderful orgasms, then I might be able too." She teased, letting the Anya in her come out.
"Let's go upstairs and see what I can do in the orgasm department." He groaned as he started to rub is semi erection up against her, causing her to softly moan.
"We have guests."
"They can work out their own orgasms." He joked as he let her feel how she affected him, letting her feel how hard she made him in such a short amount of time.
"So, did Ryan finally tell you he didn't want to join the Army?"
Spike laughed as he leaned in to rub his nose against her hair, loving the smell, as he answered, "Yeah, we're going to talk to you tomorrow. He as an apartment he wants me to look at with him."
"Good, Ryan is just not the, 'be all you can be', in the army kind of guy. He's more like, 'play my guitar like my daddy', kind of man." Buffy sighed, relieved her oldest son was no longer looking at a career in the armed forces.
"I gave him the ground rules as we discussed."
"I feel better, knowing, believe it or not." Buffy replied as she laid her head back against her husband's chest. "Can you believe it, come September there will only be Henry and Joyce left at home. We're getting old, Will."
"No, baby, we are aging like a fine wine." He teased, as he started to sway back and forth to the music, loving how her body instinctively followed his.
"Abby is going away to Harvard, and Molly is going to NYU. They're going to be on the other side of the country." Buffy pouted. "How can I know my girls will be safe?"
"I could hire some body guards, older, ugly, with bad body odor." Spike offered, trying hard to keep from laughing.
"Not funny, you." She snorted as she playfully stomped her feet.
"We'll just have to visit them often. Ryan will still be in town to help watch our remaining rugrats."
"Before you know it, one of them will be married." Buffy sighed, not ready for her girls to be so far away from her.
"Stop it, it's enough I worry what they do on their dates, but to think of them having marital sex…it's too much for a father to take." Spike teased, trying to lighten his wife's worries.
He knew Buffy would want to keep her children close, wanting them safe. The reason he understood, was because, he felt the same way. How could he keep his children safe when they had a whole continent between them?
"Do you think it will be easier with our youngest? The letting them go without worrying about them so much." She asked, as she snuggled deeper into her husband's arms.
"Honestly, Luv, we will worry about them until the day we die." Spike sighed, knowing he hated the day anything happened to someone he loved.
"Thank you!"
"For what, Pet?"
"For giving me all of this," She said as she waved her hand, encompassing every thing and everyone before them. "Without you, none of this would be possible."
Spike smiled as he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "No, baby, if not for us, none of this would be."
"Spike?"
"Yeah baby."
"Will you grow old with me?"
"That's the best offer I had today." He teased.
"Spike?"
"Yes, Luv."
"Take me upstairs and make love to me."
"God, I thought you'd never ask." He groaned as he pulled her back with him as he led her into the house and carried her up to their bedroom.
The End
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