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A/N: Spuffy goodness to keep you warm on Valentine's Day.


An irritating buzzing accompanied with pounding on the door woke her from a sound sleep. Voices calling her name, sounding worried and anxious brought Buffy out of her sleepy haze and back into her painful existence.

"Buffy, honey if you're in there please open the door, or just tell me to go to you know where." Willow yelled, sounding frantic.

"It's Hell, Wills." Faith snorted as she added her own voice, "Hey, 'B', get your fucking ass over here and open the goddamn door before I call the fire department to do the honors."

"Go to Hell, I don't want to talk about it." Buffy spoke loud enough for her friends to hear her as she walked closer toward the door.

"Tough shit, now open the damn door." Faith replied with that determined tone that told Buffy her co-workers and friends would not leave until she opened the door.

"Fine, take a look, see I'm alive and in need of being left alone time." Buffy laid down the rules before unlocking the door.

"Depends on what we see." Faith replied, knowing full well, she would not be leaving anytime soon.

"You're a bitch, Faith." Buffy mumbled as she unlocked the door and walked away without opening it.

Faith opened the door and entered as she was saying, "That's why you love me."

Willow walked in behind Faith and immediately moved over to stand in front of Buffy pointing to her face as she spoke, "This face, see this face, it's what Oz calls my serious face."

Buffy felt the tears building and as soon as she looked into her best friend's eyes the dam broke. She flung herself into Willow's arms and sobbed, all her hurt, anger, and pain being put on display.

"I'm going to kill the fucker." Faith hissed, as she moved to hug both her friends.

Faith and her husband Robin owned and operated the Grind. It was a nice restaurant, bar, with a dance club underneath. Willow worked the kitchen, while Buffy was the main bartender. Faith and Willow had taken Buffy under their wings when the petite blonde came to town almost 2 years ago.

Willow shook her head and said, "No, I'm going to kill him first."

"You can't, remember you're a mommy now, so no killings for you." Faith reminded her. "Seth does not need a axe murdering mother on death row."

"Neither does Robin need a wife in prison either." Willow snickered.

Faith smiled evilly as she shared her plan, "Then I guess we all kill him and be each other's alibi."

"Death is too good for him." Buffy whimpered. "This is the worst I have ever seen him, he's never talked to me the way he did."

"Buffy, it was the drugs talking, it makes you temporarily lose your soul." Willow explained her thoughts of what drugs and alcohol did to a person who abused it.

"Do you love him?" Faith asked.

Buffy felt the tears again threatening to fall as she answered. "God, yes. I love him so much it hurts to know I can't help him. I can't cure him. It's my mother all over again, and I can't live like that, not with him, I just can't sit back and watch him kill himself."

"I hear you, Buffy, and you know I will support you no matter what you decide to do." Willow reassured her.

"I will to a point, I like Spike, but I won't set back and let him keep hurting you like this." Faith decided she'd tell Buffy up front.

"I don't know what I'd do without you guys." Buffy sniffled as she let them lead her to the couch so she could tell them everything that happened last night.

*******

The first thing Spike noticed was the raging headache and sick feeling in his gut as he awakened. His mouth was so dry, and figured he must have tied one on last night. He knew he had hell to pay and that Buffy was going to royally kick his ass.

"Somebody call off the jackhammer convention playing in my head." Spike moaned as he reached out for his girl. "Buffy, baby."

"I don't think she can hear you." A strange, but familiar voice beckoned him to open his eyes.

"Where the bloody hell am I?" Spike asked as he sat up, only to immediately fall back down when the serious attack of the dizzies hit him. "Scratch that, what in Sam blazes happened to me?"

"Too much drink and too much blow." The voice replied nonchalantly.

"God, I don't remember much, where's Buffy?" He whispered, finding even talking in a normal voice made his head hurt worse.

"Here, take these and sip on the tea." The voice instructed him.

Spike squinted his eyes open and found the owner of the voice to be Mr. Stewart himself, who was handing him two white pills and a cup of what smelled of sweet tea. "What's this you're giving me?"

Eric laughed softly and said, "Now you ask, didn't much care what you were feeding your nose last night."

Spike felt himself becoming angry when he asked, "Just tell me where my girl is."

Eric took a deep breath to calm himself, keeping the smart comment that so wanted to pass his lips from being said. "You didn't act very gentlemanly toward her last night, and if not for the interference of your friends you would have had a nasty little surprise this morning."

Spike felt confused, the last thing he remembered was kissing Buffy before going to bar to get another beer. The pain in his head worsened as he tried to think of what he could have done to his girl.

"I don't understand?" Spike's voice was shaky and unsure as little things started to come back to him.

"You drank too much and found some coke and blew it. Buffy tried to get you to go home and you yelled at her and insulted her to the point she left in tears. Then you proceeded to do more drugs and put on a nice show for us with Harmony. I would recommend next time getting a room." Eric said evenly, and watched, as Spike's face grew pale as some of the memories came back to him.

"Oh God! I lost her for good now, she won't take me back." Spike moaned as he lay back down on the bed and let the tears flow. "I fucked up everything, all because of that bastard."

"That bastard?" Eric asked, curious who could have sent this young man so over the edge.

"My bastard of a father cornered me yesterday, had to remind me of a few unpleasant things." Spike whispered, "I proved he was right, I'm nothing but a loser, nothing."

Eric walked over and sat beside the young man noticing the anguish on his face. He could not believe that a parent could cause their child so much pain.

"Did you tell Buffy?" Eric asked, wondering if she'd understand the significance of the man's visit.

"No, she'd never understand." Spike reluctantly answered wanting to change the subject, not wanting to talk about Ethan Rayne.

"Did you tell Angel?"

"No, can't tell Peaches, don't need him getting in trouble going after me Da." Spike opened his eyes with an anxious look on his face, "Please don't tell Angel, he'd go and try and make things better and only get hurt."

"For now I won't tell him." Eric promised, but decided he'd find out what he could about Spike's father. "Now we need to talk about your problem."

"I don't have a problem, just over indulged is all." Spike defended himself.

Eric chuckled kindly as he gave the young man a knowing look, "Care to tell me again you have this under control."

"I do"

"You don't, it has got you by the balls, boy, and until you realize that and fight back it will take you to Hell." Eric leaned closer with determined look on his face. "I'm willing to help you before that happens, before you lose everything and never get your girl back."

Spike was ready to argue when a flash of Buffy's face contorted in pain made him stop. He couldn't remember what he said but whatever it was had broken her heart, thus now breaking his.

"Spike, I asked you a question last night that I want to ask you again, now that you're more or less sober. If you had to choose between love or money, which would you chose?"

Spike closed his eyes and tried to remember how he answered last night, but it wouldn't come to him. He knew how he wanted to answer the question, but was afraid of wishing for a miracle.

"Don't be afraid, search your heart for the answer." Eric encouraged him.

"Love, I would choose love." Spike whispered as Buffy's came to mind.

"Then get the help you need to get better, become clean and drug free. Do it for you, for her, for the both of you. I can help you if you let me. I have been where you are with the drugs, and it cost me more then you will ever know." Eric told him, hoping the young man would accept his help.

"How can you help me?" Spike asked as he looked up at the kind brown eyes that held no judgment.

"I made a call and someone will be meeting us in Vegas. This someone will be your constant companion and will help you fight the dragon. Once the tour is over there's a place I know that will help you work at staying sober." Eric said as he reached out and placed his hand on Spike's shoulder. "This place has helped me and a few other people I know, it can help you if you are ready to accept that you have a problem. Acceptance is the first step, the second is doing something to fix it."

"I'm afraid others will think I'm weak." Spike couldn't believe he was telling this man his deepest fear.

"We are weak before we are stronger. One day at a time, one step at a time is how we get our strength back." Eric offered his best advice. "How about I order us up some strong black coffee, while you go take a shower?"

"Sounds like a plan, but I need to make a call first." Spike answered, needing to hear his girl's voice.

"I will give you some privacy then and come back in say 30 minutes." Eric offered.

"Great, and thanks for doing this, I know it's hard to find a replacement act on such short notice and all." Spike said in the way thinking that was why he was doing this.

"It's not because of the tour, but the talent I see in you that I don't want to see wasted. I have seen to much waste in my lifetime. You. Mr. Rayne, have a raw talent I have not seen in a while, and you are worth saving no matter what you father may have told you, he was wrong." Eric explained himself before leaving the room.

Spike sat there in awe at the man's words. The guitar legend had seen something in him, something worth saving. He stood and walked over toward the phone, picked up the receiver and dialed a number that could prove that Mr. Stewart was wrong.

"Hello."

"Buffy?" Spike whispered, fighting the tears, "Baby, I'm so sorry and before you say anything I'm gonna get help this time, baby, professional help. I have a problem and I can't do it alone."

"Spike, I love you." Buffy said between sobs, "I want to help you, but I don't know if I can."

"I know baby, but promise to wait for me." Spike begged, "Let me have a chance to win you back, to show you what a good man I can be. I want to do this for me, for you, but most importantly for us, baby."

Buffy felt her heart lighten, thinking she might not have lost him like she had her mother. Maybe there was a chance he'd still chose her after all. "I promise to wait for you, Spike, but you will have to do some serious wooing, buddy, let me tell you."

"Baby I will woo you to the end of the world if I have too, it's you and me all the way." Spike said before he decided to tell her about his visitor yesterday. "He came to see me yesterday."

"Who came to see you?" Buffy asked, feeling a sudden fear come over her.

"Ethan."

"What did that bastard have to say?" Buffy hissed, "Baby you are so much better then him, don't let him drag you down."

"It hurt, what he said it hurt so bad and I don’t know why it does every time." Spike sighed, wishing she was there holding him.

"Where are you?" Buffy asked, "I'm coming to see you."

Spike looked over at the hotel stationary, "I'm at the Plaza, baby, room 1145."

"I'm on my way, code word, Slayer as always."

"Yeah, I'll call the front desk." Spike told her, feeling like he was being given a new lease on life. "I can't wait to see ya, Goldilocks."

"You do that and I'll bring you some clean clothes."

"Okay, then we will talk and then you can take me home and help me pack." Spike felt warmth in his heart that eased some of the pain his father's words had caused.

"Can I pack myself in your case?" She giggled, feeling hope again she'd have her man back.

"No, but I have something I'd like to pack inside you." Spike purred the innuendo and felt the effect in is groin.

Buffy snickered as she told him, "You are a bad, rude, crude, man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm saying that so you keep that in your hat of incentives on getting help."

"I need you, always." Spike whispered, now more then ever.

"I'm on my way." Buffy replied, having gathered what she needed while she talked to him on the cordless phone with Faith and Willow helping her.

"I'm going to hang up now."

"I'm walking out the door as soon as you do." She said.

"See you soon."

"See you soon."

Buffy handed the phone to Faith and took the bag containing Spike's clothes from Willow and was about to walk out the door.

"So what did he say that won you over?" Faith asked, being curious what bleach boy could have promised Buffy.

"He is getting professional help, and he wants to do it for himself and for us. It's the first time he has come out and said it’s a problem and needs help. There is no way I will not support him in this." Buffy's tone alerted her friends it was a subject she'd not discuss right now. "I need to go, we still have to come back here and get him packed."

"I know where the cases are and will get them out." Willow offered.

"I will get a couple loads of darks done for you." Faith volunteered.

"I will call Oz to come and pick me up." Willow said as she shooed Buffy out the door, "Now off with you, we will do what we can here."

"Thanks, guys this does mean a lot to me." Buffy smiled as she thanked them before leaving and going to be with Spike.

*******

Spike sat in the hotel robe and drank the coffee, feeling better since getting a shower. The steam helped him to relax thus making the pain in his head lessen. Once he had mentioned that Buffy was coming, Eric had made all the arrangements making it possible for her to get up to the room without any complications.

"You are one lucky man to have her." Eric smiled, "Just like I'm a lucky man to have found another chance at starting a family."

"Yeah, she's a wonderful woman." Spike sighed, as he took another sip of coffee.

"Have you been eyeing my wife?" Eric laughed at how Spike almost choked on his coffee.

Spike sputtered trying to get his breathe back to deny the other man's accusation when he noticed the twinkle in the Eric's eye and sarcastically asked, "Are you trying to kill me, or you just like to see me spit out my coffee?"

"I like to see you spit out your coffee, it's so manly." Eric chuckled.

Spike couldn't believe he was sitting here in a bathrobe, talking to his idol as if this was an everyday accordance. "So happy I'm a source of entertainment for you."

"I talked to your cousin and he wants you to call him." Eric told him as he got up to leave. "I think I will give you some time to do that, he's very worried about you."

"He's always been worried about me, I guess I do that, make people worry about me." Spike's voice was shaky and insecure.

"It means they care about you."

"I care about them too even if I don't show it."

"You show it, but now where they can see it unless they are looking really hard." Angel said from the doorway. "Sorry, but I sort of slipped the extra key in my pocket."

"Sneaky bastard." Spike muttered as he stood and faced his cousin, watching as Eric gave him a reassuring smile before he left the room.

Angel walked slowly toward the bleached blonde pain in his ass, but wouldn't trade him for the world. "Hey."

"Hey, Peaches." Spike waited to see how Angel would act toward him.

Angel stopped when there were mere inches between them and said, "You scared the hell out of me, and pissed me off to the point I wanted to do you bodily harm."

"I'm sorry, you just don't know how sorry I am. You and Buffy are the last people I want to hurt." Spike whispered, as he looked up at the man he loved like a brother. "I do care about you, love you actually, but if you ever repeat that I'll tell everyone you wear lifts in your shoes."

Angel out right laughed as he pulled the smaller man in to a tight bear hug as reassure him, "I love you too, little brother."

Spike tried not to get emotional as he fought the tears. But when Angel called him brother he lost what control he had and started to cry. He knew he should tell him about Ethan's visit, but didn't want to ruin the moment by making his cousin angry. He was sure Angel would call his father, Rupert Giles, and they would go on a hunt for Ethan Rayne.

"What happened that made you get so fucking high." Angel asked as he backed away slightly, keeping his hands on Spike's shoulders. "What made you say those things to Buffy and then want a ho like that Harmony?"

Spike took a deep breath and was about to explain when it was interrupted by a knock at the door. All he could think of was being saved by what he hoped was Buffy's arrival.

"Don't get that." Angel said.

"It could be Buffy." Spike replied feeling relaxed at the huge smile on Angel's face.

"Then what the hell are you waiting for," Angel grinned, "I will go home and finish packing and call me when you get home."

"I'll do that mate." Spike promised as he moved to open the door.

"Don't forget to call the folks." Angel reminded him.

"Do they know about last night?" Spike asked, feeling a sudden sense of anxiety.

"No, and I won't tell them if you don't want me to." Angel reassured him, knowing Spike was overly worried about disappointing them.

"Thanks," Spike said right before he opened the door and got an arm full of Buffy.

"I think that's my clue to leave." Angel snickered as he watched Buffy drop her bag and jump into Spike' arms.

Spike drank in her scent, like a drowning man in water. The feel of her in his arms was like coming home from the war. A war he had yet to fight in full force yet. This morning was just a skirmish compared to the tougher battles that were yet to come. But with the love and understanding of this woman he was confident he'd win at the end.

Angel stopped beside them on the way out and leaned in to kiss Buffy's cheek, and then did the same on Spike's head and said before he left. "I love you both."

Spike heard the door shut as he continued to hold her close. They just stood for a few minutes and held each other tight. He prayed to who ever were in charge of destinies, to bring him back to this woman whole and deserving of her love.

"I dreamt about the night we first met." Buffy leaned back so she could see his face.

"I think I did too, not sure." Spike replied as he leaned in to kiss her lips softly.

The kiss took on a life of its own as Buffy untied the belt and opened his robe. She teased his tongue to follow hers back in to her mouth. Her hand drifted down and gently grasped his hard, leaking, member and started to stroke it in time with suckling his tongue.

Spike slipped his hand up under her skirt cupping silk cover mound, feeling her wetness through the thin panties. He felt his cock harden more as she moved against his hand, trying to get hi to massage faster. He couldn't wait any longer and ripped the little bit of nothing from her body and encouraged her to wrap her legs around his waist.

"Need you so bad, baby." Spike groaned as he felt her hand help position him at her entrance.

"You have me." Buffy gasped as he plunged deep inside her core mixing some pain with her pleasure.

Spike never heard her as he pulled out and thrust fully inside her again, getting lost as he found his zone. It had never felt so good as he pushed her up against the door and fucked her rougher then she was used to.

Buffy whimpered, when he pushed her up against the door and screwed her hard and fast with no thought if she was enjoying this or not. It scared her, for he had never been rough without making sure she was getting off on it as well. His lovemaking in the past had always been generous and sharing, not so centered on his own needs before.

"Yeah, baby, so good." Spike moaned in her ear as he continued pounding her against the door.

Buffy felt his body tense as he ejaculated inside her, making her feel left out in the cold. She made an attempt to lower her legs only to have him stop her and say, "Sorry, Luv, I got too carried away."

"Why?"

"I never thought I would have you again, baby, I told you I could get lost in you." Spike said and he grinded against her. "I'm not done until I make my girl feel how much I love her."

"Spike." She moaned as she felt him start to harden again inside her. "Make love to me, please."

"Baby, it's always love." He groaned as he pulled then away from the door and moved them over toward the bed.

"Oh, feels so good." Buffy said as she started to feel aroused as he moved inside her, hitting her special area that made her want more.

Spike growled as he laid her on the bed and slipped out of her warmth, only to drop to his knees and lavish attention to her clit with his tongue. Her moans and begging him for more drove him on like a newly made man, as he trust his tongue up inside her warm body. Bringing his thumb over to now rub her engorged nub, he made love to her until she screamed his name.

"No one makes me feel like you do, I could make love to you until the end of the world." Spike told her as he moved to lay on the bed and arranged them so she straddled his waist.

"More?" She asked as she felt him lift her up and place her over the tip of his cock, easing her down so she took him inside her velvety warmth slowly and erotically.

"Never enough." Spike whispered in awe as he watched himself disappear slowly up inside her sweet little quim. "Always fits me like a glove, you do."

"You were made for me." She groaned as she took him in, always loving when she got to play on top.

Spike's hands drifted up to cup her breasts, her nipples hard and sensitive to his touch, as he praised them, "Perfect baby, just the right jiggle with the wiggle."

Buffy laughed as she placed her hands on his chest to show how much wiggle and jiggle she could give him. She leaned forward just a bit so she could rub herself against him on her descent. She was close when he turned her over and was on top, pulling her back from the edge.

"Want to last longer." He panted, as he leaned his forehead against hers as he continued to lazily thrust in and out giving a little extra grind on the in motion.

He was making it up to her in spades for earlier at the door. The goal he had in mind was to make her cum before him, to make her see just how much he loved her. Sweat poured off him, as he fought to again lose himself and fuck her to the mattress.

"Cum for me, baby." He moaned as he alternated from kissing her lips and rubbing his nose against hers. "This is for you baby, for us."

Buffy found it hard to breath, let alone speak, feeling as if time was standing still. Her nails dug into his shoulders, as she bucked against him. She came so hard arching up and tightening her legs around him, causing her vaginal walls to squeeze him into his release.

Neither wanted the other to move, both comfortable with Spike lying on top of her with his forehead against hers. He leaned slightly on his elbow and forearms taking some of his weight off of her. Sharing soft kisses as their breathing returned to normal and all seemed all right in their little world.

"I don't think I can go." Spike said in between kissing and breathing. "I can't spend 24 hours away from you, how can I handle 3 months?"

"I feel the same way, but we know I can't quit my job." She said refusing for him to pay off her bills and support her.

"I know, baby." Spike said, feeling frustrated she kept refusing his help.

"I don't want you thinking I'm interested in your money." Buffy explained.

"What happens when we get married?" Spike asked, some of his frustration coming out in his tone.

Buffy brought her hands up cupping his face and said, "When you marry me then it's a whole different story, because then comes babies and I don't want to be a working mom or wife. I think you need to try this on your own, I'm there if you need me. You can't make me the crutch, baby. I want to be your lover, your friend, your wife, the mother of your children."

Spike realized what she was saying was true, that he had to stand on his own two feet to fight this. He could also understand her not giving up her independence of supporting her self until he proved he was the long haul guy in her life.

"I'm glad I have a smart woman that loves me." Spike smiled as he kissed her before he slipped out of her warmth and rolled over taking her with him to cuddle.

"I will only be a phone call away." Buffy said as she traced her finger around his chest. "One call and I'm on the next plane to where you are."

"I'll hold you to that." Spike sighed, "But I guess the faster we get home, get me packed the longer we have to do this."

"Do what?" Buffy teased.

"Make love, cuddle, talk, love and cuddle some more." Spike said as he pulled her closer to his side. "I know I still have a lot of wooing to go, Pet, and believe me this is just the beginning."

"Then what the hell are we still doing here?" Buffy giggled as she pushed him to get out of bed, "Quick, me wants more and want it soon, woo boy."

They dressed quickly and Spike left Eric a short note thanking him for everything. Also that he was looking forward to touring with him and would accept any advice in order to get clean and better himself.





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