Buffy hesitantly climbed in Angelus’ car. It was Monday morning, and she had
faked a headache for the remainder of the weekend so she wouldn’t have to
lie to her boyfriend. He had refused to take no for an answer when she told
him she would just walk to school.

“You feeling better, baby?”

“Yeah,” she said quietly, absentmindedly licking her lips and practically
feeling Spike’s mouth on hers.

“I missed you yesterday.”

“Yeah…I missed you, too.”

‘Good, Buffy, sound even more unconvincing.’

“Did you have fun at the party?”

“I got to see my friends, so that’s always nice,” she responded
automatically as she stared out the window.

“That’s good, babe. Sorry I couldn’t stay longer. Maybe you and I could go
to the beach and have a private party this weekend,” Angelus said with a
smirk, reaching over and running his hand along her thigh.

“This weekend is Homecoming,” Buffy said softly.

“Yeah? Are you planning on going?”

‘I was.’

“No, I think I’ll just skip it. It’s not like there’s a lot of reason for
me to be there.”

“I can think of a good reason,” he replied with a smile.

“And what would that be?” Buffy asked, finally looking into his piercing
brown eyes.

“I get to see you dressed up in some sexy little number.”

“You would want to go with me?” she asked in surprise.

“Sure, why not?”

“I just didn’t imagine a high school dance being a place that you would want
to spend a Saturday night.”

“That was before I met you, princess,” Angelus replied, taking her hand in
his and leaving a gentle kiss on the back of it.

Buffy smiled, her first genuine smile since the beach party. “You really
want to go?” she asked as he pulled into the school parking lot.

“Absolutely,” he said with a smile. “You better get to class.”

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, grabbing her book bag and reaching for the door
handle.

“Hey,” Angelus said, stopping her before she could exit the car. “Don’t I
get a kiss?”

* * * * *

Spike watched from the entrance of the school as Buffy leaned over and
kissed her so-called boyfriend goodbye. Waving as he drove away, she turned
and saw Spike standing in front of her.

“Hi, Spike,” she murmured, figuring she owed him some type of acknowledgment
as she tried to walk by.

“We need to talk, Buffy,” he whispered, falling into step beside her.

With a heavy sigh, she turned to face him, looking up at him with pleading
eyes. “If that’s what you want…but not here.”

Spike glanced around the overcrowded school hallways before his gaze fell
back to Buffy. “Alright then,” he said with a small smile. “When?”

Becoming more uncomfortable as they continued to attract more stares from
the student population, she began to edge away from him. “After school.”

Spike nodded, watching as she turned and practically ran down the hall.

* * * * *

Buffy’s nerve was gone by the time school ended. Her Trig class seemed to
crawl by, with Spike trying to talk to her throughout the entire hour,
obviously growing frustrated since Buffy ignored him. The rest of the day
flew by, and she no longer had the desire or the willpower to talk to Spike.
Ready to make a break for it when the last bell rang, she was stopped by the
school Guidance Counselor who insisted the students call her Hallie.

“Buffy, I’m so happy I caught you,” she said with a friendly smile. “I
wanted to let you know that you are one of the candidates for Homecoming
queen.”

“Me?” Buffy asked in disbelief as she pointed to herself.

“Of course you, silly,” she said with a laugh. “I’m trying to tell all of
the candidates so that they will be sure and make it to the dance.”

“Thanks,” Buffy mumbled, turning and walking toward the doors, not seeing
Spike until it was too late.

“Can we not do this now?” she asked, trying to walk past him.

“You told me after school and I waited, so we’re doing this now,” he
replied, falling into step beside her.

“Spike, it’s been a long day and I just want to go home.”

“Then I’ll drive you.”

“That’s okay,” Buffy replied, shooting him a look.

“Then I’m walking with you.”

Whirling around to face him, her jaw set in a firm line, Buffy stared at him
for a moment. “Won’t your girlfriend miss you?” she asked, crossing her
arms over her chest.

“I don’t know and right now I really don’t care.”

“That doesn’t sound like the healthiest relationship,” she said with a
raised eyebrow. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Get in the car, Buffy,” Spike growled, pointing toward the Desoto.

Looking back and forth between the car and Spike for a moment, her eyes
narrowed. “I’ll get in the car, but get one thing straight- the only reason
I’m doing this is because I know you’ll follow me home if I walk, and this
means I have to spend less time with you…got it?”

“Got it,” Spike muttered, trying to control his temper before following her
toward the Desoto and closing the door after her.

Buffy stared out the window for several minutes before she realized that
Spike wasn’t driving her toward her house. “Spike, where the hell are you
taking me?”

“A place where we can talk.”

“We can talk while you’re driving! I don’t really feel like getting
kidnapped today.”

“I’ll take you home, Goldilocks, but I’m not going to run the risk of having
you jump out of the car and run into the safety of your house when things
get a little tough.”

Angrily slouching down in the seat, Buffy watched as he made several turns
and groaned when he pulled up to a hill that overlooked the town.

“What’s this? A little reminiscing?” she asked, climbing out of the car to
get away from the infuriating man sitting next to her.

“It’s private,” Spike said softly as he followed her. “We won’t be
interrupted…do you remember the first time we came here?”

“I remember it was a long walk,” Buffy shot back, avoiding his eyes as she
climbed to the top of the hill.

“I remember it being worth it.”

“What do you want, Spike?” Buffy asked, spinning around to face him. “I
know you didn’t bring me here just to remind me of a painful memory.”

“I know you didn’t mean it,” he said, his voice a soft whisper as he walked
toward her. “I know you wouldn’t take back that night for anything in the
world, because I sure as hell wouldn’t.”

Trying to keep her anger close to the surface to mask the pain and
confusion, Buffy turned to look at him with cold eyes. “We fucked…big
deal.”

“It was more than that,” he replied, grabbing her arm as she tried to turn
away again. “You told me you wished that it never happened…is that true?”

Her eyes darted around the area as she tried to come up with an answer.
Sighing in defeat when he tilted her chin up to look at him, Buffy shook her
head. “I wouldn’t take it back,” she whispered, closing her eyes to try and
keep the pain away.

Jumping away when she felt his lips brush tenderly over hers, Buffy’s hand
flew to her mouth in shock. “What the hell was that?!”

“I want you back, Buffy,” he said softly.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” she yelled at the sky before turning
around and walking back to the car.

“Buffy!”

“No!” she cried, spinning around to face him. “What? You wanted to sow
your wild oats and then come back to me? It’s not gonna happen, Spike!
I’ve moved on and I don’t plan on going back to someone who dumped me when
the next best thing came along. I have someone in my life now,” she
continued, her voice dropping as she watched him approach.

“Do you love him?” he asked, his eyes narrowing as he watched her.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy searched herself for the answer, her eyes
fluttering around the area before settling on Spike again. “Yeah,” she
whispered, her eyes widening in shock when he started to laugh.

“Can I have a little more indecision with that answer?”

“Screw you, Spike,” she hissed, turning her back on him. “This isn’t going
to happen.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because you left me!” she screamed, whirling around to face him as the
tears slipped down her cheeks. “I wasn’t enough for you, and you were too
much of a coward to tell me that, so you just waited until you had a back-up
whore lined up!”

“That’s not true,” he yelled, approaching her again. “You were never a
whore, and I never went looking for anyone else. I made a mistake! People
make mistakes, Buffy!”

“Yeah, they do…and I’m not about to make the same mistake with you,” Buffy
sighed, looking down as she worried her bottom lip for a moment. Slowly
raising her eyes to his when she saw that Spike was standing in front of her,
she continued, “I’m a different person now…I don’t know how to be that girl
anymore. To tell you the truth, I don’t want to be her,” she whispered.
“She was weak…she let herself get too involved and…I don’t want to be her,
Spike,” she repeated as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Taking another step forward, Spike wrapped her in his arms, closing his eyes
when he realized how right this felt…when he realized that Drusilla never
made him feel anything like this.

“It’s okay to be her,” he whispered, feeling her shoulders shake with the
force of her sobs. “I loved her…I love you.”

“But not enough,” she whispered, pulling away and wiping her eyes.

“Buffy-“

“Spike,” she interrupted. “Please take me home…I want to go home.”





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