Sitting on her porch swing with the newest issue of Cosmo, Buffy let the
soothing motions relax her as she read ‘What Sex Feels Like For Him’. Why
she felt the need to know, she’d never understand, but the magazine always
had a way of pulling her in when she least expected it.

“Honey?”

Buffy looked up and offered her mother a slight smile when she poked her
head out of the front door.

“Do you want to order in tonight?”

“Sure,” Buffy said with a nod. “Sounds good.”

“How about Mexican?”

“That’s fine, Mom.”

“Why don’t you call William and see if he wants to join us?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy said, uncertainty evident in her voice.

“I thought you two were trying to work things out.”

“We are,” Buffy said, nodding. “But we’ve been seeing each other so much
lately, I think it might be nice to give him a night off.”

“I don’t think that he thinks of you as a chore.”

“I know. I’ll think about it.”

Joyce nodded before ducking back into the house to order the food.

Buffy stared into her front yard for a few minutes. It had been a few weeks
since Dru had made her not-so-veiled threats, and Buffy had been able to
avoid her ever since that day. Of course, it was easier considering Spike
made sure he was by her side at every available second, acting as a
self-appointed bodyguard.

‘Starting over’ sounded good in theory, but it was taking a lot of work.
Namely, getting Buffy over her trust issues. Every time the passion
escalated from anything more than kissing, Buffy seemed to shut down, and she
was worried that Spike was getting frustrated, as well.

It wasn’t just the fact that she was still having a hard time trusting him,
even though she felt perfectly justified, considering she’d trusted him for
years with her heart and he effortlessly shattered it with a single blow.
No, the remaining problem seemed to belong with Angelus. After his
treatment of her, Buffy was finding it difficult to remember what it was
like to be in a normal relationship. To be with someone who actually wanted
to be with her and enjoyed spending time with her. Someone who wasn’t just
looking for the quickest way to get her into bed.

Spike was trying as hard as he could to put her at ease, and it hadn’t been
brought up yet, but Buffy was the one growing frustrated.

‘Why can’t I just differentiate the two situations?’ she asked herself, her
brow furrowed as she watched the sunset. ‘Why do I feel the need to compare
William to Angel? Or William to Spike for that matter?’

When the front door opened, tearing her out of her thoughts, Buffy looked up
and saw Joyce walking toward her with the phone, an odd expression on her
face.

Taking the cordless with a frown, she watched her mother disappear into the
house before putting it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hello, lover,” the voice purred on the other end, sending a shiver of
disgust running through Buffy’s body.

“What do you want?” she asked, clenching her jaw

“I haven’t talked to you in a while,” Angelus replied in a charming voice.
“I miss you, baby.”

“Well, I don’t miss you, so why don’t you go back to your skank? See if she
can warm your bed at night because I won’t be there. Oh…I forgot,” Buffy
said, her voice taking on an innocent quality. “She can’t warm your bed,
since she obviously has no body temperature. Or maybe the frigid look is
just a look…somehow I doubt it.”

“I’m sure Billy would be more than happy to give you details,” he said with
a smile in his voice. “You know I would never leave you for her, baby. Not
like he did. I would give her up in a heartbeat- all you have to do is
ask.”

“You two deserve each other,” Buffy replied, standing up and leaning against
the porch railing. “And I’m guessing you’re not calling to tell me you’re
planning on leaving town? Or maybe jump in front of a bus? That’s probably
just my wishful thinking.”

“You always look so cute when you’re upset, Buff,” he said in a chilling
whisper. Buffy suppressed the urge to shiver at his words. “And you should
really wear white more often. It makes you look so innocent.”

Glancing down at her jeans and white sweater, a feeling of dread seemed to
surround her before her head snapped up and she looked around the
neighborhood. “What the hell are you playing at?” she asked, trying to find
him. A smarter, or more accurately, a terrified person would be backing
toward the door, wanting to find solace in their home. Buffy Summers wasn’t
about to give a man the satisfaction that she ran and hid with fear.

“I just miss you,” he replied. The honesty in his voice was almost
chilling.

“Yeah? Here’s an idea- go fuck yourself.”

Her tone of voice was so calm that Angelus didn’t have a retort ready before
she clicked the ‘end’ button on the phone. Staying where she was for
several long minutes, Buffy finally turned and walked into the house,
letting the trembling begin to take affect.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” Joyce asked, seeing her daughter leaning against the
front door, apparently focusing on how to breathe.

“It’s nothing,” she said, shaking her head.

“Come on,” her mother coaxed gently. “I’ve read all the parenting books.
You cannot surprise me.”

“That was just…one of the guys I was hanging out with a while ago…do you
remember that guy Angel?”

“Vaguely,” Joyce replied. “I never met him, right?”

“Right. Um…he…I-I…oh God,” she mumbled, glancing down before meeting her
mother’s gaze again. “We’re sort of dating, were dating, um, going through
a serious off-again phase right now. Really serious- the kind that never goes
on-again.”

Joyce gave her daughter a reassuring smile. “Don't tell me- he's changed.
He's not the same guy you fell for?”

“In a nutshell,” Buffy replied with a nervous smile before it faded as she
remembered the powerful slap that she never could have prepared herself for.
“A-anyway, um... since he changed, he's been kinda following me around.
He's having trouble letting go.”

Joyce’s smile suddenly faded, a concerned look taking its place. “Buffy,
has he done anything…”

“No!” Buffy exclaimed, her eyes wide as she shook her head. “No, it's not
like that. He's just been hanging around…a lot. Just trying to see me, that
kind of thing. I just don't wanna see him right now. I mean, if he shows
up, I'll talk to him,” she added, thinking of her mother’s safety before her
own. “Just…don't invite him in.”





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