~*~Chapter 13 – Insecurities ~*~
“Dawn! Dawn! Open the door!” someone yelled outside.
Dawn and Connor were still asleep that morning since it was their day off. Jumping out of bed, Dawn covered herself with Connor’s long shirt and opened the door. Amy, one of the girls working with her, stood there, panting, still with her apron around her waist.
“What’s wrong?” Dawn asked, worried.
“There’s been…an accident.”
Dawn waited for Amy to continue when Connor joined them.
“Miss Annigan…she got hit by a car when she walked out of the restaurant.”
“No…oh God, no,” Dawn said, shaking her head. “Is she ok?”
“We don’t know. They took her to the hospital,” Amy said, giving Dawn a piece of paper with the address. Dawn took it and went back inside to get dressed.
“Do you want to sit down?” Connor asked Amy
“No, thanks. I have to get back. I just came to tell Dawn, I didn’t want to tell her over the phone.”
“Thanks.”
He closed the door and got dressed as well. A few minutes later, they were on their way to the hospital. They rushed directly to the reception desk.
“May I help you?”
“We’re looking for Mathilda Annigan,” Dawn asked. “She was brought here about an hour ago.”
“Are you family?” asked the woman.
“No. She…she doesn’t have any family.”
“Please have a seat. I’ll see what I can do.”
A few minutes later, a doctor walked towards them.
“Are you here for Miss Annigan?” he asked.
“Yes,” Dawn said standing up, holding Connor’s hand tightly.
“May I have your name?”
“Dawn…Dawn Summers. I’m not family, I’m a close friend. She doesn’t have any family left. Is she ok?”
The doctor looked at her sadly.
“Miss Annigan was badly injured. She died on her way to the hospital. I’m sorry,” said the doctor.
Dawn put her hand on her mouth.
“Oh no…”
She fell against Connor’s chest in tears. The young man was equally sad, because he had come to like the old woman too, and he knew it was a terrible shock to Dawn. They sat back and he let her cry her soul out, caressing her back gently.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Connor had gone back to work the next day but Dawn hadn’t felt good enough to go back to the restaurant just yet. She was not strong enough to see somebody else sit at Miss Annigan’s table, knowing the old lady wouldn’t occupy it anymore. She had tried to go back to her schoolbooks, but she wasn’t able to concentrate. She took out the paper with Buffy’s number on it. She knew that if she called her right now she would burst into tears and she didn’t want that. So the best way was to write her a letter. She took a piece of paper and stared at it for a few minutes. Then she began to write.
Dear Buffy,
I guess Spike told you already that I called the other day. I‘m sorry I missed you. But don’t worry, because I’m doing very well. I have a job at a diner, a small apartment that looks pretty shabby but is ok nonetheless, and I have a boyfriend. His name is Connor and he’s wonderful. We met on the bus from L.A and he saved me from some serious trouble when I arrived here.
Even from here I can see you wince at the idea that I’m living with him, but he’s a great guy and he respects me. He ran away too, like me. We understand each other, and I love him with all my heart. He has a job too. He’s working at the pier. He saved somebody’s life over there and the guy hired him. Together, we’re doing pretty well and we are even saving money.
At the diner, I also met this old lady that I liked a lot. She’s always been nice to me. Yesterday, on my day off, she got it by a car. She died on her way to the hospital.
Buffy, I’m so sad. I don’t know if I will have the courage to go back to the diner and look at the table she was sitting at everyday. I know I will have to and face her absence, like I had to face yours when you died, every time I walked by your bedroom.
I miss you so much. Spike told me it was a misunderstanding. I don’t regret what I did though, because otherwise I wouldn’t have met Connor. But I can’t go on like this without hearing from you. Tell Spike I miss him too. I’m glad he came back and that things seem to be fine between you. I think about you, a lot. I love you
Dawn.
Quickly, before she changed her mind, she folded the letter and put it in an envelope. She wrote Buffy’s address on it and her own on the back. She went out to drop it into the mailbox at the street’s corner. She looked at the mailbox for a long minute. She sighed. Dawn walked back home and tried to concentrate on her studies.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“It’s amazing”, said Willow, her hand on Spike’s chest. “Does it hurt?”
“It used to, at the beginning. Now that it beats all the time, it’s getting better.”
“And still no clue about it?”
“Well, Giles called and said something about a prophecy he had to check…isn’t it always about a bloody prophecy?” he grinned.
“Or blood.”
“Or blood. So, how’s life back at UC Sunnydale?”
Willow shrugged.
“Good, I guess. At least studies keep my mind busy. I’m sharing my room at the dorm, and the other girl is nice. Well, not nice ‘nice’, she has a boyfriend. But we’re getting along.”
“Glad to hear it,” he simply said.
There was a short silence then Willow said,
“I know you put some fresh flowers on her grave sometimes…I wanted to thank you.”
“S’alright, pet. I do it for Joyce, I might as well do it for Tara. She was a decent bird. And if she’s watching over me like you said…”
Willow smiled. She had come to like these little talking sessions with Spike. He had become a real friend, and sometimes she even confided in him. He seemed to understand so many things. Buffy arrived from work, put her bag and the mail on the kitchen island.
“Hey Will.”
“Hey Buffy.”
Buffy went to Spike and slipped in his arms.
“Hey baby,” he said, watching her with so much love and tenderness Willow almost felt embarrassed. She was sure that they sometimes forgot she was there. They were so lost into each other.
“How was work?” Spike asked, letting Buffy go.
She looked through the mail absently.
“Good. Busy. It always is, on Fridays. It’s like they…Oh my God.”
“What?” Willow and Spike asked at the same time.
Buffy was staring blankly at a letter.
“It’s from Dawn.”
She opened it and started to read out loud. By the end, she was crying.
Willow put her arm around her friend’s shoulder.
“Hey, stop crying. It’s good news, right? Seems she managed to get a life of her own. And a nice one at that.”
“Yeah. But why is that letter so sad? I can feel she’s not totally happy.”
“She misses you. You two can’t be totally happy if you’re separated.”
Buffy wiped her tears.
“True. Spike? You didn’t say anything.”
He had taken the letter and was reading it, frowning.
“She’s living with her boyfriend?”
“Apparently so.”
“Is she crazy? For all she knows, he could be a serial killer! What does she know about him?”
“Well, at least we know his name. Connor. Where did I hear that name?” Willow wondered with a frown. Buffy took back the letter.
“Spike, if he was a serial killer she would probably know by now. She’s been living with him for almost three months. Which is awfully fast, by the way.”
“She’s only 17,” Spike grumbled.
“I know. But I can’t blame her. I was 17 when I first slep…never mind. They seem to be very much in love. And he’s probably as innocent as she is…or was.”
“Innocent my ass. I’m sure he took advantage of her.”
Buffy laughed.
“Oh come on, big bad brother. Wait till you meet him before judging.”
“You’re taking this awfully well, Buffy,” Willow said. “I thought you would be the one who would freak out if Dawn was living with some guy…Oh! I know!” Her face lightened. “It’s Angel’s son.”
Buffy and Spike both turned to her in the same fluid motion.
“What?”
“Connor…It’s the name of Angel’ son.”
“Yeah, that’s really vital information, Red.” said Spike sarcastically.
“Funny coincidence,” conceded Buffy. “ But I think baby Connor is a little bit too young to live with my sister.”
“Well, actually…he’s not a baby anymore.”
Buffy shot her a surprised glance.
“Oh, that’s right, you don’t know. I forgot to tell you…or I was too busy trying to destroy the world…uh, anyway. A few months ago, Connor was kidnapped and taken to a hell Dimension. When he came back, he was sixteen years old.”
“Oh yeah,” Spike intervened,” I saw that in The Young and The Restless.”
“What? A hell Dimension?”
“No. Kids growing up faster than normal.”
“Yeah, uh…whatever. To make a long story short, well, he’s not a baby anymore, he’s a teenager now. And…oh my.” Willow’s eyes grew wide. “Cordelia told me he had ran away approximately at the same time. Could it be…?”
“No,” Buffy said. “It’s impossible. I mean, what are the odds…”
“Well it could. If they met at the L.A bus station…that makes sense. You can’t rule out the possibility, Buffy.”
Spike frowned.
“Are you telling me that Dawn…my Nibblet…is living with the Poofter’s son?”
“Spike…” Buffy said with a warning glance.
“I’m not saying anything. But it could be him, yeah.”
Spike turned to Buffy.
“See? Told you he wasn’t innocent. If he’s Angel’son…”
She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue to him. He smirked.
“You’d better keep that tongue in your mouth, unless you plan to use it, Summers.”
“Guys, I’m still in the room,” Willow said with a pointed look.
Spike took the envelope.
“She put her address on the backside,” he showed to the two girls.
He and Buffy exchanged a glance.
“I guess she wants to be found, now.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When Connor came back from work, he found Dawn still in her books.
Little did he know she had stayed on the same page all afternoon.
He kissed her forehead. “Hey, chali.” He looked at her face. “You’ve been crying.”
She shrugged. “A little. No biggie. I’m ok.”
Connor nodded, worried. He didn’t want to insist, but he could see she was not doing well. She hadn’t been herself the last few days. Of course she had been through a lot, with the landlord attacking her and Miss Annigan’s death…
Connor was afraid it would take more than a new pair of sheets this time to bring back the smile on her face.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Who are you calling?” Spike asked, seeing Buffy pick up the phone.
“Angel, obviously.”
Spike nodded. He didn’t like the idea, but unfortunately it seemed to be the first thing to do considering the circumstances.
“Angel Investigations, we help the helpless.”
“Cordelia, hi. It’s Buffy.”
“Hey Buffy. How are you doing?”
“Fine. Is Angel there?”
“Yes, but he’s busy with a client right now. Is it urgent? Is it the end of the world in Sunnydale again?”
Buffy ignored the slight sarcasm in the ex-cheerleader’s voice. “Not really. Cordelia, there’s a chance we might know where Connor is.”
There was a silence. “I’ll go get Angel,” Cordelia said, her tone serious this time.
There was a short pause then Angel took the receiver. “Buffy?”
“Hi, Angel. I think that...well, there could be a possibility that your son is living with my sister in Seattle.“
“What?”
She explained the latest events and finished with the letter she had just received. “Of course, we don’t know for sure it’s him…but it’s a weird coincidence.”
“I think so too. Oh God, I really hope…what are you planning to do?”
“First come to L.A…then we could leave for Seattle.”
“Fine with me. When will you get here?”
“Probably tomorrow night,” she said, asking Spike silently at the same time. He nodded. “We’ll leave just after sunset.”
“Ok. We? Who we?”
“Spike will come with me. Ok, see you tomorrow. Bye.”
And she hung up the phone abruptly.
Spike clapped his hands. “Nice way to avoid explanations, pet.”
“I’m not avoiding it, only delaying it. Tell him the whole story on the phone is not the best option, right? And it can wait tomorrow.”
“But you’re gonna tell him.”
She watched him. “Well, of course.”
“Ok,” he said, trying to look casual about it and failing lamentably.
She smiled and came back into his arms. “What, you’re not afraid of Angel?”
He laughed – very falsely. “I’m bloody not afraid of that wank…”
He was interrupted by her glance and sighed. “Ok, ok. I don’t really fancy seeing the two of you reunited once more, is all. But I’m not afraid,” he repeated firmly.
“Spike, I’m not going there for a big reunion with Angel. I’m going to Seattle to see my sister…who might be living with his son.”
He kissed her forehead. “I know. And I promise to behave. I promise not to punch him in the face…well, not too hard.”
“Silly.”
She put her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. “And while we’re there, we could ask Wesley about that prophecy Giles told me about. Oh, and I have to call Giles to let him know we found Dawn. I’m so glad. Now there’s a chance that we’ll all spend Christmas together, including Dawn.”
“Don’t forget her charming boyfriend Connor,” added Spike sardonically.
He caressed her back gently.
“Baby, I don’t want to ruin the mood, here, but…she wrote you a letter, which is good. She obviously misses you. But that doesn’t mean she wants to come back.”
The smile vanished from her face and he wanted to kick himself.
“Or she does want to come back,” he added hastily.
“No, you’re right, of course. I’d better wait to see how she’s doing there…but she will agree to come back at least for Christmas.”
“I’m sure she will, sweetness.”
“Should I call her now?”
“Better make it a surprise, pet. I’m sure she expects to hear from you sooner or later. Besides, if that boyfriend of hers is really the Poo…Angel’ son, he could persuade her to run away again. Maybe he wants to stay away from his dad. Can’t say I blame the poor kid.”
“What happened to ‘he took advantage of my Nibblet!' “ she asked with a horrible imitation of his accent.
“I don’t blame him, that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna rip his head off.”
“If you go on like that, I’m not taking you with me,” she threatened him with a scary Slayer stare – with no effect on him at all.
Instead, he took possession of her mouth in a ravaging kiss. She moaned, pressing and rubbing her body against his. He was busy starting to undress her when she pulled herself from his arms.
“Sorry, honey, but I have to go back to work.”
“What? But…”
“Sorry, I’ll make it up to you tonight, I promise. Bye.”
And with a last kiss, she left, leaving Spike highly frustrated. “Buffy!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angel turned to Cordelia.
“There’s a possibility that Connor might be living in Seattle with Dawn.”
“Angel, that’s great! And also…a really weird turn of events, when you think about it.”
“I really hope it’s him, Cordy.”
“I hope so too, Angel. Then the two of you can finally talk things out.”
“What’s up?” Gunn asked, arriving at that moment.
“The girl with the goofy name called,” Fred said excitedly. “She said Connor is probably living with her sister!”
“Ok…huh?”
“Buffy called,” Cordelia said. “We’re leaving for Seattle tomorrow. Connor could be there.”
Gunn smiled. “That’s so cool! You mean your son is living with your former lover’s sister?”
Cordelia sighed. “Why do I have the impression that we’re living more and more in a soap opera?”
“We’re not 100% sure it’s him. We’ll just go and see,” Angel said, not wanting to get his hopes too high. Finding Connor had been his obsession for three months now. But Gunn was right. If he really was living with Buffy’s sister…the idea made him smile. That meant that somehow, a little bit of Buffy and him was still alive, through those two kids. Then something else struck him.
“She’s coming with Spike,” he told Cordelia abruptly, saying Spike’s name like it was a deadly virus.
“Spike? Oh, yes, of course, they…” Realizing too late her error, she babbled, “I mean, Spike? What is she thinking?!”
Angel looked at her. She gave him her most fake plastic smile ever.
“Uh…I think the phone’s ringing,” Fred said, pulling Gunn with her out of the office.
“Cordelia…did you forget to tell me something?”
“I, uh…well, you know, I was gone on a higher plane, and all that. I suppose it just slipped my mind.”
“And what exactly slipped your mind?”
“Spike and Buffy.”
Angel crossed his arms on his chest.
“Since when is there a ‘Spike and Buffy’?”
“Since last year. They had a thing together. Then he left, came back, and apparently they worked things out. I don’t know the whole story.”
She studied him. He didn’t look hurt, or pained, which was good news. But he looked rather angry. At her. That was the bad news.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally asked.
“Because I was scared by your reaction.”
“What reaction?”
“Pretty much the one you’re having right now. I didn’t want to see you devastated when I told you the big love of your life had moved on. And with Spike, no less.”
“I’m far from devastated. I just don’t understand. I thought she wanted a normal guy. Spike is a vampire, and he tried to kill her and her friends several times.”
“Hello, mister, so did you. Duh, you even tried to end the world!”
“Well, uh…I wasn’t myself, then.”
Right, like that lame excuse would work with her.
“Neither was Spike.”
“You know what I mean, Cordy. I had no soul.”
“Neither had Spike.”
He looked at her blankly. “Huh?”
“Spike has a soul. Willow told me he went to Africa to get one. For Buffy. And he * chose * to get one. I guess that says a lot about him and what he has become, don’t you think?”
Angel sat down, shocked. “He got his soul back willingly?”
“Yes. Impressive, huh?”
“I can’t believe it. Since when do you know all of this?”
“A few weeks ago…Willow and I talked and she told me.”
“Do you mind sharing the next time you have information’s like that?”
“Yeah, like you shared when you had that epiphany and Darla showed up nine months later looking like an elephant? Not only didn’t you share, you even lied to me. So excuse me for not sharing about Spike and your little Buffy, and not wanting to see that she can still hurt you. That you still love her.”
She stopped, turning her back to him. She didn’t want to cry before him. She was a higher being, for God’s sake! Higher beings didn’t get heartbroken over some stupid, pig-headed souled vampire.
He sighed, came closer and put his hands on her shoulders. “Cordy…you know I love you. You have to trust me. No epiphanies, no lies this time, I swear. I love you.”
She put her head on his shoulder. “I know. I love you too. It’s just that, it always seems a big deal when Buffy is concerned…and I’ll stop being jealous and insecure right this minute.”
She watched him with her bright smile. “Ok. When will they be here?”
Before answering, Angel kissed her sweetly. “Tomorrow evening,” he finally said.
“I hope that Dawn’s Connor is also ours.”
“Me too. I’ll maybe be able to act like a real father…”
They stayed in silence for a moment, then Angel said, “I still don’t understand what she’s doing with him. He’s a vampire!”
“Say the last part again without the exclamation mark and you got your answer. That’s the thing with Buffy and vampires. She either slays them or falls madly in love with them. Not that I can blame her. Only I prefer my vampire dorky, broody and fat.”
“Hey!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A very elegantly dressed man walked into the restaurant, asking for Dawn.
The young girl heard him and came.
“I’m Dawn Summers. Can I help you?” she asked, very intrigued.
“My name is Bryan Edmond. I’m…was Miss Annigan’s solicitor. I need to talk to you about something. When can you come to my office?”
He handed her a business card and she took it.
“I…uh, I don’t know. I’m not working tomorrow, is that ok?”
“Sure. 2pm?”
“F…fine. I’ll be there”
He smiled, held his hand out to her. “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow, then, Miss Summers.”
“Ok. Bye.”
He walked out, leaving her totally confused, and a little worried
TBC...
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