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Chapter 8 – Obstacles


“Buffy, please stop!”

Getting a strange sense of déjà vu from a few nights ago, Buffy didn’t
bother to slow her pace. Spinning around when she felt her arm grabbed in a
harsh grip, she stared daggers at Spike, jerking her arm free from his
grasp. “Leave me alone,” she hissed.

“Not until you talk to me.”

“Go home, Will. We have nothing to say to each other.”

“We have a lot to say to each other.”

“Why do you care?”

“What?” Spike asked in confusion.

“Look, we had a fun night,” Buffy said, trying to distance herself from the
man in front of her, scared of the feelings and emotions that were coursing
through her as a result of being too close to him. “I don’t really see any
reason to continue…whatever this is,” she finished, gesturing back and forth
between them.

“First of all, it was morning, not night. Second, I think there is a very
good reason to continue whatever this is.”

“Like what?” Buffy asked, feeling disconcerted as he walked closer to her.

Without answering her, Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her
forward and crushing his lips to hers. The fire and passion seemed to erupt
between them. Buffy felt like she was drowning as his tongue delved into
her mouth, brushing erotically against hers.

Breaking away a moment later, she gasped for air, using Spike’s chest for
leverage as she tried to keep her balance.

“I think that’s an obvious reason,” Spike said breathlessly, pressing his
forehead to hers, surprised at the feelings she could cause with a single
kiss.

Slowly regaining her abilities to function, Buffy took a step back, needing
the distance between them so she could think straight. “So there’s
passion,” she said with a slight shrug. “It doesn’t mean that we can build
a relationship on it or that either of us would even want to. I don’t know
if I can trust you and…and it would never last.”

Spike scoffed, never letting Buffy get too far away from him. “Trust is for
old marrieds, Buffy,” he said as she rolled her eyes. “Great love is
wild…and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes.”

“Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last.”

“I know you feel like I do,” he said quietly, taking a step toward her.
“I’ve never felt this way before. I just know I want you.” Buffy could
feel her heart pounding in her chest at the soft admission, watching as
Spike slowly walked toward her again, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“I want you…all of you.”

Summoning the last of her resolve, Buffy looked into his eyes. “I’m not
going to be with someone who doesn’t even care what he’s doing to himself.”

Spike sighed, clenching and unclenching his jaw as he looked up at the sky.
“It’s just a bit of fun, Buffy. It takes the edge off after a show or at a
party. I don’t sit in my house shooting up whenever I’m alone, just to
relax. It’s just for fun,” he reiterated.

“And that ‘bit of fun’ is going to kill you.”

“You can’t know that,” he replied, shaking his head.

“Well, it didn’t do wonders for Kurt Cobain or thousands of others,” Buffy
retaliated, her jaw set in anger. “I think I’m going to play the odds, and I
don’t want to be in a relationship where I always come in second to a
syringe.”

“What if I stop?”

Buffy raised her eyes to his, wishing she could keep the hope out of her
gaze. “Do you think you can?” she asked, the insecurity obvious in her voice.

Spike stayed silent for a long moment. “I’m willing to try…for you.”

“There’s just so much in the way…”

“I want you, Buffy,” he whispered. “I don’t know what it is about you, but
you make me want to change.”

Fighting the tears in her eyes, Buffy sniffled slightly. “Don’t hurt me.”

Spike immediately tensed, looking at her in confusion. “Buffy, I would-”

“No,” she said, cutting him off as she shook her head. “I just…I don’t want
to get involved with you because I don’t want to get hurt. You did that to
me once, Will. Granted, I was practically a kid who didn’t know any better
and had foolish dreams about a rock star, but I’m older now and…I just don’t
want to get hurt again. You have the ability to do that and I’m just not
sure I want to give you the chance.”

“I want to be with you,” Spike whispered. “I can’t make any promises, but I
honestly don’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s not very comforting,” Buffy said, stepping away from him.

“Do you want to be comforted, or do you want the truth?” Spike asked gently.

Buffy was about to respond when a group of giggling teenage girls ran up to
Spike, cameras at the ready and pieces of paper out, each begging for an
autograph and a picture as they waved a collection of pens in his face.
Each trying, in their own unsophisticated way, to flirt with him.

Never breaking eye contact with him, Buffy continued to back away. “It’s
always going to be something,” she said with a shrug, gesturing to the
females that were now separating them as if a wall was in between them.
“There’s just too many obstacles to try and overcome.”

With a heavy heart, Buffy turned and walked away, leaving Spike with his
adoring fans.




Thanks so much to: starhawk, Franchesca, Isabel, Rana, Tahmoe, Alicia, spuffette, gypsy_jin, Cordykitten, Crystal Pegasus, gattaca, Caitie, pj, Mari, BuffyandSpikeForever, Ash, Laine, Kimber, Debbie, blondiebear, songgal1, Seraiza, Caroline, bint & Ana04 for reviewing!





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