Buffy threw all the clothes that were black onto her bed and sat down next to them. None of them would fit now but she had to give them a try. Her dad’s funeral, she still felt nothing. She still saw him as a traitor, even though he was dead. She pulled a black shirt over her head and looked at herself in the mirror. Wearing that with her long black skirt, you could see the very small bulge of her belly.
Spike walked in wearing a black suit and a black tie on.
“Buffy?” He said as he walked in.
“Hey. We might need to go shopping soon to get me some bigger clothes, these don’t fit.”
“Buffy, ya look fine. It’s a funeral. No one will pay attention to what you’re wearing. They’re there to pay their respects and say goodbye. Not to stare at the daughter.”
“Kathryn’ll be devastated. It was only three weeks ago he had the accident… and Angel. And my mom. Are we taking her?”
“No. She said her husband was driving her there. Just you and me.” Buffy hugged Spike. Spike tightly wrapped his arms around her, just as the baby kicked.
“Did you feel that?” Buffy asked. Spike nodded and placed his open palm on her belly. The baby kicked again and Spike smiled.
“Your dad will miss this little slugger growing up.” Buffy nodded.
“Why don’t I feel anything, about my dad I mean? Angel does, why don’t I?”
“I don’t know sweetheart. I don’t know.”
………………………………………………………………………………………
The funeral was a small one. Hank wasn’t big on hymns and religious stuff. A few of his favourite songs played and a few people were asked to say a few words. Buffy was called up and she agreed to say a few words about her dad.
“Well, what can I say? The guy raised me. He was always there when I was younger but as I grew older, he drifted away and now he’s gone. He spent more time with my stepbrother than with me so I rarely even spoke to him most days. I moved out a few months ago. I’d had enough. I stopped loving him. My dad always said if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all so I won’t but I will say this: I loved him once, he was great then but now, I feel nothing. Nothing. So I don’t really have anything nice to say about him but he gave me a home for sixteen years, but that drove us apart. Kathryn knows him better that I do. Thank you.” Buffy listened to the gasps and then sat back down next to Spike.
The funeral was over before Buffy knew it. She didn’t bother going to the wake, just asked Spike to drive her home. Buffy said goodbye to her mother and took off.
………………………………………………………………………………………
The second Buffy walked through the door Spike grabbed her and sat her on the couch.
“Right, we are gonna have a talk you and me. What the hell was that all about? You have feelings but you don’t need to shock other people with them.”
“I’m sorry but I just had to.” Buffy began crying and Spike took her in his arms. He sat her on his lap and let her cry herself to sleep.
As soon as he knew Buffy was asleep, Spike got up and walked into the kitchen. He picked up the address book and looked for Willow’s phone number.
“Right, got it.” Spike said and dialled the number. “Hello. Willow? Hey, can you come over here? Buffy’s in a lot of pain right now. No there’s nothing wrong with the baby, he other kind of pain. Okay great. See ya in ten minutes. Thanks bye.” He put the phone down and went to watch Buffy sleep.
The doorbell rang fifteen minutes later.
“Hey Spike sorry I’m late I had to have a word with my mom before I came over. She worries.”
“That’s okay. Thanks Red for doing this.”
“No problem.” Willow went into the front room to get Buffy up. Buffy woke up and jumped at seeing Willow leaning over her.
“Don’t do that Willow. What are you doing here anyway?”
“Oh that’s a nice way to greet your best friend. Spike called and said you were in pain.” Willow explained.
“Actually, she’s not. That’s the problem. Her dad’s dead and she feels nothing. So she says anyway.” Spike said.
“It’s not uncommon. I felt nothing when my uncle died and he was my favourite uncle. I still don’t feel anything. That’s just how some people grieve.” Spike nodded and gave a sigh of relief.
“Can you sleep easily now Spike? I’m fine. Like I keep telling you. Don’t be such a worry wort.”
“He worries. That’s a sign that he really, really loves you. Well, I’d better get going. I gotta do Xander’s math homework crappily before tomorrow. Bye Buffy. Bye Spike.”
“See ya.” Buffy said. “I love you.” Buffy said after Willow shut the door.
“I love you too kitten. Remember, you have another scan tomorrow and it’ll be just you and me going. They should be able to tell the sex this time.”
“Yeah. These eight weeks have gone by fast. The baby will be here before we know it.” Buffy said.
………………………………………………………………………………………
Spike parked up outside Beverly Hills Hospital and got out of the car. He took Buffy’s hand and led her inside.
Like last time, they waited in the waiting room before they got called up. Buffy wasn’t afraid this time but almost excited. She kept looking over at the door of the doctor’s room and fidgeting with her bracelet.
“Buffy Summers.” The doctor called. Buffy practically flew into the doctor’s office.
“Right Buffy, let’s see what’s going on with you then. The doctor put the cold gel on again and did the ultrasound.
“Can you tell the sex?” Spike asked.
“Yes I can. Do you wanna know now or do you want it to be a surprise?”
“We wanna know now.”
“Well it’s a… girl!” the doctor exclaimed. Buffy’s face lit up and she took Spike’s hand.
“Not such a Billy now huh?” She said to him.
“No you’re right. You pick a name.”
“I will have a long think about it.” Buffy said and lost herself in thought. She didn’t speak for the rest of the day.
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